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So there's the bathroom that Ashton describes in this chapter. The toilet stalls are opposite the showers (I just added that in since you can't actually see where the toilets are and that seemed like the best place to put them).

As you can see the shower curtains are further in but I changed that and made it so that the shower curtains are right in the beginning (don't know if that makes sense), so basically there's space between the shower curtain and the actual shower.

Just thought I'd explain that so you're not confused later on.

There's a lot more Lashton in this chapter and even though the writing still isn't too great because the feels excited me, I still kind of like this chapter.

Ashton can be a pretty confusing person and sometimes he doesn't always know what he wants but I think that makes him more realistic so I hope you don't get annoyed by that.

Please let me know if you notice any grammatical or spelling errors.

If you enjoy, please comment and vote. :) - Vanessa

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When Ashton woke up the next morning to his alarm blaring, he startled awake for a moment forgetting where he was. When yesterday's events came rushing back all he wanted to do was lie back down and sleep for forty-eight hours despite having just woken up.

"Hello?" Ashton called out nervously, checking if his roommate was around. He shuffled around the bed nervously, not sure whether he was asleep or not. He didn't hear any snoring but not everyone snores or breathes heavily while sleeping. He decided to go over to their bed and feel for himself. If his roommate was actually there, then this probably wouldn't be the best introduction so he silently prayed he didn't sleep here last night.

Ashton didn't usually wear his sunglasses around the house but this wasn't his home and he didn't think his roommate would like to wake up to Ashton's lifeless eyes so he felt around until his hands landed on the sunglasses by his phone on the headboard. After slipping them on, he hesitantly slid off the bed and slowly walked to the other side of the room.

He outstretched his hands to feel out for the bed but unfortunately ended up stubbing his toe on it anyways. After a few colourful curses he finally felt around the bed and sighed in relief when he felt the bed perfectly made and uninhabited.

It was six o'clock in the morning as Ashton knew he would need extra time this morning to sort through everything and make sure it was easily accessible.

After two hours, Ashton had successfully printed two versions of his timetable on his braille writer; one was inside his bag should he need it and the other was stuck on the side of his cupboard above his bed. He'd sorted his textbooks on the shelf between the cupboards according to which lessons he needed them for and when he would need them so he could just pull them out.

He'd decided he would take his laptop and braille display with him to his lessons should he need to research or wanted to go to the library in between lessons so he simply left those in his bag. The braille writer would stay on the desk for when he needed to do homework.

He put all his reading books in the drawers under his bed because he didn't want to take up all the shelf space as he knew his roommate would be needing it as well. He had a lot of books so they took up much of the drawer space but he didn't mind as it wasn't like he was going to be putting anything else in there.

After making sure his towels were hanging on the rack on the side of the cupboard, he made sure he felt his way around the room and memorized where everything was so that it was easy to get around. Usually he would just allow himself to adapt over time but he wasn't sure what kind of roommate he would have and didn't want to annoy him by accidently confusing their things or messing stuff up.

After Ashton was done two hours later, he realised he was still in his clothes from yesterday and he really needed to take a shower. He groaned aloud when realising he needed to find out where the showers were. He knew the showers were communal ones according to floor and he was already dreading it. His cheeks heated up at the memory of accidently walking into an occupied shower in the school locker rooms because the person hadn't put the water running yet and there were no doors on individual showers so he walked in.

Jake was so mad and he still shudders at the thought. He doesn't blame him honestly, he should've paid more attention or asked if there was someone there but no, he just walked in.

Ashton hated high school more than anything but what made everything so much worse was the he was forced to participate in gym. You'd think that being blind would give him a pass but apparently he needed a mark for gym or else he'd fail the class and they said they couldn't make up his marks and he needed some sort of physical exercise.

They made him try out all sorts of sports but soon realised it was hopeless when he kept tripping and falling or had no idea what was happening. His mom had been extremely angry at the school and shouted at the coach telling him to blindfold himself and play sports at the same time. He honestly loved his mom more than he could ever express.

Ashton wasn't fond of the idea of looking for the bathrooms. He didn't like walking around with his cane as he felt as though people were judging him. He knew he had to though as he had no idea where to even begin looking for the bathrooms and hoped he would pass someone along the way that would be able to help him. It was eight o'clock in the morning so he hoped someone would be awake and walking through the corridors that could help him or at least point him in the right direction.

Ashton gathered his clothing, towel and toiletries as well as his cane; slipping his wrist through it so it couldn't fall accidently. His glasses were still on from earlier so he just adjusted them and left the dorm, closing the door behind him.

He opted for trying the right side and see if that led him anywhere. He went slowly, always being cautious as he'd always been a naturally clumsy person and being blind didn't help one bit. He would like to trail his other hand along the wall as he usually did this to feel more secure but he had all his things in the other hand and therefore couldn't.

It was a few minutes before Ashton heard someone's footsteps and he was nervous to ask them but he knew he wouldn't be able to find the bathrooms alone.

"Excuse me?" Ashton called out nervously. He heard the footsteps stop then come closer.

"Yes?" A chirpy voice called. Ashton fidgeted a bit nervously, not wanting to be an inconvenience.

"Can you please tell me where the bathrooms are?" He didn't want to ask her to lead the way, he knew he would be able to follow her directions fine as long as he had an indication of where he was going.

"Oh sure! Just keep going straight until you reach the end of the hall and then turn left. The first door on the right is the men's bathroom. Make sure you go through the first door because the second one is the female's bathroom," she said, chuckling at the end. Ashton felt relieved that she was so nice.

"Thank you," Ashton said a bit timidly, but smiling and hoping she was looking at him to see that he was grateful.

"No problem. If you want, I could help you carry some of your things?" She offered.

"That's nice of you but it's okay, it sounds pretty close anyways." Ashton didn't like that he'd been relying on people so much lately. He was nineteen and instead of feeling more independent he's been leaning on others and he doesn't like that.

"Alright, it was nice meeting you. I'm Aleisha by the way." Ashton could hear the smile in her voice and he grinned in return.

"I'm Ashton."

"Well I guess we'll see each other around." Ashton couldn't help but chuckle at her choice of words and she seemed confused when asking why he was laughing.

"Well, you'll be seeing me around but I wont exactly be seeing you," he said, still chuckling.

"Oh my goodness! I'm such an idiot I'm so sorry I didn't-"

"It's alright, it's easy to forget sometimes." Ashton honestly didn't feel offended. He could joke around about being blind since he sometimes did with his family. He just had a problem when the jokes were mocking or hurtful or when people deliberately went out of their way to insult him about it.

After saying their goodbyes, Ashton made his way to the bathroom. It was a lot easier now that he knew where he was going and although someone had left their luggage outside, his cane prevented him from tripping so he made it there in one piece.

He made especially sure that he went into the men's bathroom and when he did he was relieved that it didn't seem too busy. He could hear maybe two showers running somewhere ahead of him and on his direct left he could hear someone using the sink. He tentatively walked forward, hearing his feet squelch against the tiled floor and knew it was wet from the showers. He was afraid of slipping so he made sure to be extra careful.

As he walked more forward he heard the showers on to his left and a toilet flush on his right. This helped him somewhat identify the layout of the bathroom but he was still nervous when he thought about the Jake incident at school.

Ashton walked forward to listen for a shower that wasn't running and since the bathrooms were relatively empty it was easy to finally hear an empty one. He stopped in front of it to fold his cane up but when he went to walk forward he heard the sound of shower curtains being sprung open and didn't stop mid-step so he found himself walking into an extremely wet torso.

The person was taller than him. Ashton wasn't short by any means so this person was definitely tall. Ashton stumbled back, extremely embarrassed as the person had come out of the shower he was about to go into. He was glad the person had a towel around their waist because then he was sure he would've been beaten up and he wouldn't even blame them because even if he couldn't see he could still feel and he definitely would've felt something.

"S-sorry," Ashton mumbled. He could feel his face burning and he took another step back in the hopes that whoever he was wasn't too angry. With the wet floor, however, he felt himself slip backwards. He winced as his head hit the tiles. It wasn't too hard but definitely enough that he could feel his eyes burning with tears that he refused to let slip.

"Oh my god, Ashton are you okay?" Ashton felt his heart stop at the familiar voice. Ashton assumed that the stuttering of his heart when he'd first bumped into the person was due to embarrassment but apparently it wasn't.

"L-Luke?" He asked, despite knowing it was him. He felt someone's hand grasp his arm gently and he immediately felt comforted despite wanting to stay away from Luke.

"Yeah, are you alright?" He asked again. Ashton could hear and feel his worry and it made him want to smile but he couldn't because he didn't want Luke to be worried about him.

"I'm fine," Ashton said softly. He sat up, wincing as he rubbed his head. He was glad his glasses stayed on because he definitely didn't want to feel Luke's disgust when he looked into his eyes.

Ashton ran his hand along the floor, cringing at the wetness as he searched for his stuff that he dropped. His heart hammered in his chest as Luke grabbed his wrist gently. His fingers softly brushed his scraped palms as he placed his towel, clothes and toiletries on top of each other on his hand. He let go, only to reach for his other hand and place the folded cane in it.

"Thanks," Ashton whispered, embarrassed that Luke helped him. He didn't want to seem incompetent but lately that's all he was; a burden.

He knew Luke was about to help him stand, so before he could he quickly lifted himself up. He stumbled a bit; feeling slightly dizzy from hitting his head but a hand gripped his waist. He flinched because that's where John had gripped him tightly last night and although Luke was gentle, the bruises still hurt.

"Did I hurt you?" Luke asked, his voice sounding slightly panicked.

"No, it's from yesterday." Ashton felt nervous talking to Luke. He couldn't help but be afraid that he was judging him because he couldn't see his facial expression and that always made him nervous to talk to people. The tone of their voices only told him so much and sometimes their voices didn't betray anything at all.

Even though he could feel Luke's emotions, sometimes his own emotions clouded that and anyways, he could only feel when Luke was feeling something extremely potent. He knew Luke couldn't feel his nervousness and he couldn't feel anything from Luke at the moment beside a slight fluttering feeling that wasn't strong enough to identify and easy to ignore.

Ashton, expecting a reply from Luke, flinched in surprise when he felt his shirt being lifted up. He tried to coil away but Luke's other hand gripped Ashton's other side.

He suddenly felt a burst of anger through the bond and flinched again at the abrupt emotion. He shivered when he felt soft fingers brush against his side. The cool air against his side and stomach made him shiver again and he felt his cheeks heat up again from how embarrassed he was.

He couldn't see his body so he didn't exactly know what he looked like now and that made him insecure as he didn't know what Luke was seeing. He wanted to run away and hide and he wiggled in Luke's gentle but firm grip.

"Who did this to you?" Luke's voice was rough from what Ashton assumed was his anger and he gulped. He wasn't afraid of Luke but he also didn't like when people were angry as they become unpredictable.

"What's wrong? What-what does it look like?" Ashton asked, he just wanted Luke to put his shirt down because he knew there were other people in the bathroom and he didn't want anyone, especially Luke, to see him.

"There's bruises, almost like a hand mark and it looks pretty bad. Ashton, who did this?" He repeated more firmly.

"I-it doesn't matter, Luke. Please can you just put my shirt down," Ashton begged desperately. Luke suddenly seemed to realise Ashton was wriggling against his grip in an attempt to get free and he suddenly let go, Ashton's shirt falling back down. He felt embarrassed at being so weak and he just wished he was good enough to be with Luke.

"I'm sorry, Ashton," Luke said sincerely. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Please just tell me what happened." Luke, despite sounding calm, was definitely still angry because Ashton could feel the emotion and that meant it was strong enough to be felt.

"I need to take a shower." Ashton didn't want to think about yesterday and he definitely didn't want to relive it by explaining what happened to Luke. Michael clearly didn't tell him and it was probably because he felt that it was something Ashton should say if he wanted Luke to know.

Before Luke could reply, Ashton turned to face the direction of the showers, using the sound of a running shower further down to direct him. He felt forward with his hand feeling a curtain bunched to the side and knew that was the shower he'd been about to go in.

"Let me help you," Ashton heard Luke say and his cheeks flushed at the words.

"What?" He squeaked, not understanding what Luke meant by 'help'. He heard Luke chuckle and felt even more embarrassed.

"I meant, let me help you with your stuff. There's space to hang your towel and for your toiletries." He could still hear the smile in Luke's voice and it made his heart ache knowing he could never be with him. He wanted to, so bad, but Luke was clearly too good for him. He deserved someone better.

"It's fine Luke. I can do it myself." Ashton knew his tone was a little harsh but he was supposed to be staying away from Luke so that he could figure things out. This wasn't helping.

"Ash-"

Before Luke could continue, Ashton stepped into the shower area. He quickly closed the shower curtains behind him, making sure they were completely closed by feeling for gaps on the side. He walked forward and almost tripped when he realised there was an actual shower he had to step into and that he was standing in the area meant for placing his stuff.

Ashton cringed when he realised that placing his clothes on the floor would mean they would get wet. He would place his towel on the floor and his clothes on top, but he didn't want to dry himself with a towel that was wet from the floor. He sighed loudly, realising that that's why Luke had only been in his towel.

Perhaps he sighed a little too loudly because Luke suddenly spoke, amusement evident in his tone. "Would you like me to hold your clothes for you?"

Ashton jumped in surprise. "What are you still doing out there?" Ashton voice was a little too high pitched and he blushed.

"I was waiting for you to realise that you can't take your clothes in there."

"Where's your clothes then?" Ashton asked through the shower curtain.

"Everyone usually leaves their clothes propped up on the toilet seats. It sounds pretty dodge but at least they don't get wet. Give me your clothes I'll hold them for you."

Ashton sighed again before pulling the curtain open again and giving Luke his clothes.

"You should give me your cane and glasses too, I'll keep them safe for you," Luke suggested. Ashton gulped, not wanting Luke to see his eyes so he closed them before slipping his glasses off and handing them to Luke with trembling hands along with his cane.

"After you're done undressing, you'll need to give me those clothes too." Ashton's face flushed and he realised he'd been more embarrassed in the last half an hour than in the past month.

"You can wrap the towel around yourself before you give me your clothes, Ashton," Luke chuckled again.

"O-okay."

Ashton closed the curtain again and pulled his shoes off and then socks, stuffing his socks in his shoes. He pulled off his shirt and pants and placed them on top of his shoes hoping it'd keep them dry while he continued to undress. After taking his boxers off, he made sure to tuck them under his shirt because he didn't want Luke to see them.

He knew that after his clothes fell earlier that Luke probably already saw the boxers he was going to change into and that made his cheeks flush again for what felt like the one hundredth time today.

Ashton wrapped the towel around his waist securely and picked up his clothes. He opened the shower curtain a tiny bit, hiding the rest of his body behind it despite having the towel wrapped around himself.

Calloused hands brushed against his own as his clothes were taken from him, and after mumbling a grateful thank you, he securely shut the curtain closed.

Ashton tried to be as quick as possible knowing that Luke was waiting for him and he didn't want him to be annoyed. He shampooed and conditioned his hair and scrubbed his body quickly, wincing at the pain in his side as well as his hands and forehead. He was glad he'd decided to be quick because the water was starting to get a little cold and he started shivering.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face in the shower because he didn't want to use the sinks, he stepped out, towelling his hair and sighing knowing that his hair would be extremely unruly and curly and that Luke would see it. He dried his body and wrapped the towel around his waist.

"Luke?" Ashton called out, making sure he was still there.

"I'm here," he called back. Ashton closed his eyes again since he didn't have his glasses and hid behind the curtain, peering his head through as he opened it an inch.

He held out his hand and Luke placed his clothes there. Ashton was quick to change before opening the shower curtain completely and stepping out. Luke placed the cane in his hand and helped him gather his other clothes in the hand that was holding his towel and toiletry bag. He felt his glasses being placed on his face and jumped a little in surprise before thanking Luke.

"I could've done that myself, you know," Ashton pointed out, still not liking how much help he was being offered, especially if he didn't need it.

"I should go," Ashton said, unfolding his cane.

"Don't you need to use the sinks?"

"I brushed my teeth in the shower," he explained, already heading towards where he remembered the door being.

"That's a good idea. Let me walk you to your room."

"Luke-"

"I'm not helping you, I'm just accompanying you," Luke insisted. Ashton bit at his bottom lip and sighed.

"O-okay fine." Ashton felt his cane hit the door and he reached forward for the door handle. Luke was surprisingly quiet on their walk there and it made Ashton nervous. He felt like he could feel Luke watching him but he wasn't sure and he was afraid to ask.

Finally, Ashton arrived at the room. He assumed this was it as he'd been a little lost when first searching for the bathrooms and suddenly he was afraid this wasn't the room.

"I think this is it," Ashton said, reaching for the handle.

"You think?"

"Well... it gets a little confusing sometimes and I forgot to pay attention when I left the room," he admitted sheepishly. He lowered his head, not wanting Luke to see his cheeks flushed red. He sighed and opened the door, stepping in tentatively. He walked to the right towards where the desk was and sighed in relief when he felt his braille writer there.

"Luke?" Ashton asked, wondering if he'd left so suddenly.

"Still here," he said from the doorway.

"Thanks for your help," he said, both grateful and embarrassed.

"No problem... listen Ashton, about yesterday-"

"It's fine, Luke. Don't worry about it." Ashton folded his cane, placing it on the desk and walked towards the bed, sitting down on the edge.

He heard the door close and footsteps coming towards him. He felt nervous being alone in the room with Luke and swallowed the lump in his throat. The bed dipped beside him and he could feel Luke's thigh brush against his own making his heart race.

"Michael and Calum were so mad, especially Mikey after you told him I was disappointed-"

"Sorry," Ashton interrupted, voice guilty.

"That's not why I'm saying this Ashton. I wasn't disappointed in you or disappointed that you're blind. I guess I was just disappointed that we couldn't bond like everyone else. It was selfish of me and I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself but you're my soulmate and I want to be with you," Luke said softly. Ashton could feel the soft brush of Luke's breath against his cheek, clearly indicating that Luke was facing him and perhaps a little closer than normal.

"I understand that and I-I guess I felt the same; disappointed that we couldn't bond like everyone else but I guess that's a good thing." It was now or never. Ashton didn't know how Luke would respond and it made him more nervous.

"What do you mean?" Luke asked gently.

"You're a good guy, Luke and you deserve better than someone like me. I'm broken, physically and emotionally and mentally and whatever other kind of broken there is and you deserve better than that. It'll be easier for you to find someone else because we never officially bonded or got to know each other-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Luke's voice was harsh and Ashton flinched at the sudden loudness.

"You're telling me that I need to find someone else? We're fucking soulmates Ashton! We're meant to be together!" Ashton didn't know what he'd expected but Luke shouting at him wasn't it. He knew due to Luke's emotions that he wasn't really angry, he was scared and hurt.

"Everyone gets tired of me eventually, Luke. We'd be okay at first but you'll keep wishing that I could see or that I wasn't such a burden and eventually you'll leave because I'm broken and I can't be fixed and you don't deserve that. No one does. A lot of people don't end up with their soulmates, and yeah it hurts but it'll hurt less with us because we were never together and we were never completely bonded," Ashton said, desperately willing Luke to understand.

"Don't. Don't you dare try to decide what I deserve because I'm not some prefect guy. I'm a complete dick most of the time and you're the one who could do better, but we're soulmates and I can't think of being with anyone else knowing that I could be with you."

Ashton felt Luke's hand brush against his before intertwining their fingers. Ashton wanted to pull his hand away but at the same time he never wanted to let go.

"Luke, I can't lose something else. We can't be together because when you leave, and I know that you will, I'll be the one completely shattered and I don't know how or if I'd be able to deal with that. I wouldn't even blame you, I mean who wants to be with a blind guy?" Ashton swallowed the lump in his throat and felt his eyes burning.

"You don't think you're good enough but you are. Yesterday you seemed okay with the idea of us, I don't understand what changed." Luke's voice had softened drastically and Ashton almost preferred him angry because this Luke was so much harder to say no to.

"I know you said you weren't disappointed in me, but the situation instead, but it just- it was still me that made you disappointed in some way. You wouldn't have felt that way at all had it been anyone else and I can't stand the thought of not being enough for my soulmate. I always knew I wasn't enough, but feeling what you felt reminded me of that. I can't stand the thought of making you feel that way again." Ashton felt a tear slide down his cheek. Luke brushed it away with the pad of his thumb and Ashton subconsciously leaned into the touch.

"Fuck Ashton, I'm such an idiot. I never meant to make you feel that way I promise! I swear the way I felt had nothing to do with you I just- I was never disappointed in you and I never will be. You're more than good enough, Ashton. Please believe me."

"I think we should just be separate for a while. You can date people if you want, everyone dates before meeting their soulmates and I'm sure you have before. Maybe one day, Luke. Maybe when I'm not a mess- I don't know. I don't want to lie to you. I don't know what will happen but I just think you should go."

Ashton felt another tear fall at not only his own heartache, but Luke's too. He knew it was the right thing to do, however, because he'd always be insecure in their relationship. They had no tie to each other and he'd always feel like Luke was about to leave him even if he honestly wasn't. They needed trust in their relationship and even if Luke deserved his full trust, Ashton always had difficulty trusting people. Their relationship wouldn't be stable and that wouldn't be healthy.

Ashton doesn't know if it'll ever change. He hopes one day he'll finally feel like he's enough for Luke and maybe they could be together if he hasn't moved on.

Ashton felt Luke pull his glasses gently off and he shut his eyes closed as tightly as he could.

"Open your eyes, Ash. Please." Luke's voice sounded so heartbroken but Ashton still shook his head furiously as Luke continued to wipe his wet cheeks.

"Please, baby. Just open your eyes. I'm not disappointed, I promise." Luke's sincerity, despite Ashton's reluctance, made him eventually, and very slowly, open his eyes. His cheeks flushed, so ashamed that Luke was seeing his lifeless eyes. He knew they were milky and odd and he hated that.

"You're so beautiful." Ashton felt his heart flutter and to his surprise, love radiating from the bond. It made him feel warm and content.

Luke's hand left his cheek to card through his still damp curls and his eyes fluttered at the gentle feeling.

"I'll give you time, Ash. I'll give you all the time in the world because you're worth everything."

Before Ashton could react, he could feel Luke's warmth due to their proximity. Luke's mint toothpaste breath fanned softly against his face, making him shudder at the sudden warmth. His heart was pounding within his chest as Luke's lips barley brushed against his own.

He froze, unsure what to do because he'd never been with someone before and he didn't want to embarrass himself. Luke, seeming to sense Ashton's uncertainty, pressed their lips harder together. The touch was still gentle, however, and Luke's slightly chapped lips against his own made his chest ache with adoration.

He felt something small and cold against his lip but Luke pulled away again. Ashton's hand reached forward in search of Luke's lips. He brushed his fingers against them, searching for the cool metallic feel. When he found it on the corner of Luke's bottom lip, his eyebrows furrowed at the thin metal.

"It's a lip ring," Luke whispered, as though afraid to disturb the serenity. Ashton nodded, biting his lip as he thought of the odd but strangely soothing feeling of the lip ring that added something extra to the kiss he couldn't identify.

Luke's hand reached up for Ashton's still on the lip ring and softly gripped his fingers as he placed gentle kisses against his finger tips.

"I'm going to go now. I won't push you Ash but I won't be able to stay away from you either," Luke said with Ashton's fingers still against his lips. "We might not be together but I'd like us to still be friends."

Ashton felt himself nodding before fully registering Luke's request, completely flustered by his actions.

"Bye baby, I'll see you soon."

Ashton fell back against the bed after he heard the door close, questioning everything and sighed.

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