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So the picture is Ashton's dorm room. I kind of made the headboard of the bed thicker so that you can place items on top of it since there isn't a bedside but otherwise this is basically it. 

Obviously there's duvets and pillows added and Ashton's roommate would have decorated his side of the room but since Ashton's blind and the story is in his perspective it's not described so you can imagine it how you want.

Not much Lashton in this chapter but the next two chapters are written already and there's a lot more.

I think the story will get a lot better from chapter 3 and onwards so I'm sorry this is kind of crap but hopefully you'll continue to read.

If you enjoy please comment and vote. I'd really appreciate that. :) - Vanessa

***

Ashton didn't know where he was or how far off he'd ventured but by the constant buzzing of the phone in his pocket he knew it was far enough away that his family couldn't find him. He knew he should answer and he felt guilty for not but he just felt so broken inside. He'd never once heard of someone rejecting their soulmate but it had happened and of course it had to happen to him.

His legs hurt from walking so much as he was never one to walk for so long. It was quiet and he didn't know what the time was but nothing seemed to matter anymore. He could feel Luke still. It wasn't often that he felt through the bond as he only felt terribly strong emotions but Luke's guilt and regret was consuming him with its intensity. He could no longer feel any disappointment only worry and blame but it didn't matter to Ashton. The feeling of Luke pulling away from him and the discontent Luke had felt towards him was enough.

He was starting to feel slightly chilly and perhaps started feeling a little worried. He pulled the phone out of his back pocket and asked Siri what the time was. Ashton gasped in shock and fear when he realised it was almost nine o'clock at night. He didn't have a jacket or any clue where he was. He sighed in relief when he heard his phone buzzing again but just before he could answer it it stopped. He tried to press the home button to get Siri to call his mom but no sound came from the phone.

He knew his phone must've died and in that moment he felt so terrified it was almost like he couldn't breathe. He didn't know what to do or where he was. All he knew was that the breeze was picking up and he was cold and afraid it would rain. The area was eerily quiet and his legs hurt. He could feel his eye welling with tears and before he could will them away they spilt over. He bit his lip to hold back a sob but it burst out of him and before he knew it he was full on bawling.

Ashton could feel Luke's worry increase through the bond so much that it seemed as though he was almost as afraid as Ashton was. He knew Luke was feeling Ashton's fear through the bond which was clearly making him more worried but he didn't understand why. Luke didn't want him. Luke was disappointed in him. He left because Ashton wasn't good enough so he hardly thought it was necessary for him to be feeling this way.

He wiped at his eyes furiously and his legs began to shake slightly with fear and exhaustion beneath him. He needed to rest but he didn't know where to go. Ashton bent slowly and brushed his hand across the ground hoping he could feel a familiar texture. He sighed in relief when he felt tar that clearly indicated a road. He felt a bit further to each side and felt his hand hit what seemed to be pavement to his left. He needed to make sure he stayed near the pavement to avoid walking too far out into the road when it was getting so late.

Ashton turned around and hoped that if he just walked straight that he'd be able to get back. He'd been walking for hours, however, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep going. He knew resting in an unfamiliar area was unsafe though and he would rather keep walking than take that risk.

It was about thirty minutes of walking back that his cane got caught on something. He wasn't exactly sure what happened but the next thing he knew he fell forward. He cried out in pain as his forehead hit the tar road and his hands scraped the floor. His glasses slipped off but thankfully the rope around his wrist kept his cane attached. He sat up slowly, wincing due to the pain on his forehead. He reached up and felt the warm and sticky liquid stain his fingers but he was unsure whether the blood was from his hands or head.

He felt dizzy and so terrified and couldn't help the tears that fell down again. He wished he'd never met Luke and he wished he'd never left home this morning. He'd give anything to go back to when he thought his soulmate would love him if they ever met. Perhaps it would've been easier if they'd never met, at least then even when he was one hundred percent certain that they would never meet he knew that he was loved. Now he felt anything but loved.

"Hey there, are you alright?" A voice sounded from behind him. Ashton squealed a little and jumped with fright. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear anyone approach. He was so grateful to finally get help though that his heart rate was quick to settle and he turned in the direction he assumed the person to be.

"Please can you help me," Ashton begged. His voice was hoarse from crying and he knew he looked pitiful but he didn't care anymore.

"Of course." The voice was thick and rough, definitely a man's voice. "Are you blind?" He asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ashton flinched a little at the sudden contact but knew he needed this man or he'd never get back.

"Y-yes. Please can you help me?" Ashton asked again. He felt close to crying yet again but swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

"Of course," the man whispered. "What's your name?" His hands softly rubbed Ashton's back and although he felt slightly uncomfortable he knew the man was just trying to be nice.

"Ashton," he mumbled, sniffling faintly.

"Okay Ashton, let me just wipe away some of the blood on your hands and forehead." Ashton nodded, hoping the man could see as he didn't feel like talking much anymore.

He felt large hands grab his smaller ones and the texture of cloth wiping his hands clean. It stung slightly but he ignored it knowing it needed to be cleaned.

"There we go, hands all done. Now your head."

Ashton's stood completely still as the fabric came in contact with his forehead. It stung badly but he kept his face neutral, not wanting to seem completely incompetent. Ashton flinched however when he felt the man's breath fan across his face. He jerked back in surprise at how close he was but a hand grabbed his shoulder to steady him.

"Sorry about that, I was just getting a closer look at the cut. It's not too bad, head wounds tend to bleed more than necessary to be honest but it should be okay for now. Sorry for scaring you," the man's voice was apologetic and Ashton couldn't help but feel guilty for reacting like that.

"Sorry," Ashton mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

"That's alright. Here are your glasses." Ashton felt the cool plastic being pushed on gently and sighed in relief, not liking how exposed he'd felt without them. He mumbled a thank you as he felt a hand grip his upper arm, lifting him up.

"I think it'll be quicker if I guide you where you need to go instead of using your cane. What do you think?"

"Y-yeah alright," Ashton mumbled. He slipped the rope from around his wrist and folded the cane, tucking into the back of his jeans.

"Are you cold?" The man asked. Ashton mumbled a small no but shivered when the breeze picked up. He heard a soft chuckle before a heavy fabric was placed around his shoulders. It smelt strongly of cigarette smoke and alcohol but Ashton tried to ignore it by thanking the man again and tucking his arms into the sleeves, grateful for some warmth.

His breath hitched and his heart rate picked up when the man's arm gripped his waist, guiding him. He didn't like his hands being there and he was starting to feel scared again but he kept repeating in his head that the man was simply helping him.

"What's your name?" Ashton asked, realising the man had asked his name but had never given his back in return. It was quiet for a moment and Ashton started to think the man was ignoring him or didn't hear when he finally replied.

"John."

Ashton slowly nodded, feeling a little uneasy. He stopped completely, however, when he realised he'd never told John where he was supposed to take him.

"What's wrong?" John asked. Ashton didn't miss the slight tinge of annoyance in his voice and it made him feel even more frightened than before.

"I never told you where to take me," Ashton gulped. He heard John sigh heavily from slightly above and knew he was taller. There was hardly anything Ashton could do against him and he'd never felt more useless. He contemplated beating him with his cane before he realised he couldn't run very far either.

"It's late, Ashton. I think it'd be better if you came to my place first and I can take you where you need to go in the morning."

"I-I don't think that's a very good idea. What about your partner?" Ashton asked, hoping that John's soulmate would be opposed to whatever John wanted from him. He felt himself shivering from not only the cold, but from how terrified he was.

He squealed when he felt John's grip on his waist tighten to the point of being painful. He tried to wriggle free but John's grip only tightened.

"I don't have a soulmate," he muttered darkly. His voice was lower than it had been before, the drop in octave making Ashton tremble even more than before. His breathing was ragged with fear and everything was just too much.

"Please let me go," Ashton begged, his voice cracking with the strain of trying desperately not to cry.

"I fucking helped you! You were alone and I helped you!" His voice rose so suddenly that Ashton flinched violently against the booming sound. The tears he tried in vain to contain slipped and he curled in on himself as much as he could with John's firm grip that would no doubt leave bruises in their wake. "Nothing I do is ever good enough," John sighed so quietly Ashton almost didn't hear him.

"I-I'm grateful for your help, John. R-really! I-I just- my-y mom is worried and I-I don't want her to w-worry please," Ashton tried to reason, the tears continuing relentlessly.

Before Ashton could beg any further, he was being dragged away again. He tried to figure out which way they were going but he was confused. He'd always had a terrible sense of direction and being blind certainly didn't help. He tripped over his feet more often than not but John's steel grip prevented him from falling.

"Ashton?" He heard an unfamiliar voice call from a little distance away. He didn't recognise the voice and it made him more afraid that there was no one he knew to help him. He didn't understand how this person knew his name but he didn't trust them. He didn't trust anyone.

John, hearing the sound of Ashton's name, sped up. Ashton stumbled so often that he was practically clinging to John to release him. His grip hurt so bad and Ashton's sobbing grew louder.

"Hey! Leave him the fuck alone!" The voice screamed again, far closer than before as though he was running after them.

John stopped suddenly and turned in the direction Ashton could hear the person's voice coming from. It was a boy, or maybe a young man but he didn't understand how he knew his name.

"Let him go you little shit!" He yelled again. "Everyone is looking for him. His family, Luke, Calum and myself so don't think you can just take him wherever the fuck you want!"

Ashton felt relief flood through him at those words. He was so grateful that everyone was looking for him, even Luke though he didn't know why he was even looking for him in the first place. Maybe he felt pity or guilt but it would never change the way he felt looking at Ashton.

John, clearly realising there was no way he could get out of this, released his grip from Ashton and shoved him roughly to the ground. He could hear John's footsteps as he ran off as well as lighter footsteps running towards him.

"Ashton! Fuck, are you alright?" Whoever he was sounded so worried but Ashton still didn't know if he could trust him. Everyone proved some way or another that they didn't deserve to be trusted. They always betrayed him in the end. The only people he ever really trusted were his family.

Ashton shrugged John's jacket off roughly when he still smelt the tinge of alcohol and smoke wafting from it. The smell wasn't comforting, it frightened him and he wanted nothing more than to forget the stranger that claimed he wanted to help him.

The person's hand gently touched Ashton to help lift him up but he couldn't help but flinch away. He wasn't trying to be mean; he just couldn't help it. Although there was something about this person's voice that was oddly comforting and maybe strangely childish despite the fact that it was deeper than his own, he needed reassurance.

"I wont hurt you. I'm Michael, a friend of Calum and Luke. Everyone's been looking for you for hours after you left. Calum found your mom, Harry and Lauren and called me for extra help. I can call her now if you want?"

Ashton wiped at his tear stained cheeks and nodded in confirmation, asking Michael to please call his mom. He didn't want to leave with anyone else until he was one hundred percent sure he could trust them.

After hearing the soft ring sounding through Michael's phone, he heard his mom's voice answer sounding panicked. Despite feeling guilty for putting her through so much worry, his relief outweighed everything else. He'd recognise her voice anywhere.

"Yeah Mrs. Irwin, I found him. He's a little scraped and bruised, maybe a little shaken up but he'll be okay. I'm bringing him back now."

After hearing the incoherent mumbling of his mom's voice through the line in which he assumed she was agreeing or perhaps thanking him, they hung up. Ashton finally allowed Michael to help him up after making sure he still had his cane and fixing the glasses on his face. Michael felt soft and warm and Ashton couldn't help but lean into his touch as Michael softly linked arms with him. He felt like a human kitten and Ashton sighed in relief after how horribly wrong things could've gone with John.

Michael guided Ashton to a car that could be heard with the engine still softly running as though Michael had seen Ashton from afar and run out, not wasting any time in turning it off. Michael seated Ashton down and fastened his seatbelt for him even after Ashton assured him he could do it himself.

Ashton felt a soft burst of warmth from the heaters and was grateful to Michael for turning it on, not realising just how cold he was. Maybe to most countries it would be considered warm, but to Ashton who only knew Australian weather, he couldn't help but shiver at the unusually cold temperature that contrasted so greatly with the heat earlier today .

Ashton lurched forward lightly as the car started forward and he suddenly felt so exhausted he could pass out any moment.

"Did that guy do that to your head and hands?" Michael whispered, as though afraid to scare Ashton.

"No, he helped me when I fell so I thought I could trust him when he offered to take me back."

"Did he- did he do anything? To you I mean?" Ashton frowned in confusion, not exactly sure what Michael was implying.

"No he didn't," He answered anyway because the worst he'd done was grip his waist overly tight and he didn't think that counted. Michael sighed in relief before it was silent again for a moment.

"You don't remember me do you?" Michael spoke again, voice a little louder than before. He sounded a little nervous and maybe excited but Ashton couldn't tell exactly.

"Uh, should I?"

"You don't remember a Michael Clifford by any chance, do you?" Ashton froze, the name bringing flashes of memories to a time he wishes almost everyday he could go back to; childish memories of not having a care in the world.

"M-Mikey?" Ashton stuttered, feeling so overwhelmed he almost couldn't breathe.

"The one and only!" He said but Ashton could hear the smile in his voice. Before Ashton knew what was happening he was crying again. He didn't know why, maybe it was because he missed having Michael around so much but today had just been too emotional and he'd always been a bit sensitive to begin with.

"Hey, hey, don't cry!" Michael soothed. His hand came up to rest comfortingly on his knee and Ashton felt relieved at the contact.

"S-sorry I just can't believe it's you! We haven't s-seen each other since we were ten." Ashton hates thinking about when he was ten, especially knowing that so shortly after Michael, his only friend he ever had, left the accident occurred.

"I know Ashy, I'm so happy to see you again. What... What happened Ash? How come- why can't you see... anymore?" Michael asked nervously. Ashton froze, completely caught off guard by the question. No one ever asked him so plainly and although he loved Mikey he wasn't ready to answer that question.

"I'm sorry Mikey but I don't think I can talk about that. No yet anyways," Ashton sighed. He felt bad telling Mikey no but he just didn't want to relive it and especially not now after so much had happened in one day.

"That's okay Ashy, I understand. You know, when the university contacted me asking if I'd help one of my fellow peers out I didn't think it was you. Sure they said your name was Ashton but I mean, there are tons of Ashtons in the world."

"You're the one who'll be helping me to classes?" Ashton had never felt more grateful. It was one less thing he had to worry about.

"Yup," he said, popping the 'p'. "So I got to the University a little late cause I wanted to spend some time with my parents 'cause they were getting all mushy about me going away. I was planning on meeting Calum and Luke at the parking lot but then I saw Luke wasn't there and Cal completely freaking out to some lady.

When I got to the two I recognized your mom, I mean it took her a while to realise it was me 'cause I look quite different but when she did she started crying and asking if I could help Cal out finding you. I didn't get what the big deal was until- until she told me you're... you know."

"Blind?" Ashton said bluntly. Michael coughed, not expecting Ashton to be so forward but continued anyways.

"Yeah, so I was shocked at first but once that wore off we exchanged numbers in case anyone found you. Your brother and sister were crying and saying sorry to your mom and I think she was angry with them but I don't know why 'cause we left after that-"

"How do you know Cal- I mean Calum and Luke?" Ashton asked. It hurt to say Luke's name but he tried not to show it.

"Calum's my soulmate," Michael said. Even a blind person could tell how much love Michael held for Calum. Ashton would know after all. It made an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over him knowing that he'd never have that.

"Calum told me what happened, with you and Luke. I'm sorry Ashy but he didn't mean that. He's a good guy and he was so worried when we told h-"

"I understand Mikey. I don't blame Luke, not really. We will never officially share the bond; I mean it's not like we can look into each other's eyes or anything. I feel his emotions. I feel that we're soulmates but we'll never get to feel what everyone talks about. That moment where two souls connect or whatever. He deserves more than some blind freak for a soulmate," Ashton whispered. He swallowed the lump in his throat and sniffled faintly but refused to shed anymore tears. He was surprised his body was able to produce any after all the crying he'd done.

"Don't say that Ash! God, you're amazing! Luke knows that he was just confused when he didn't feel the bond happen but you guys don't need some stupid bond. You know you guys are soulmates! You're bonded through your emotions and the fact that you'll never feel the same way for anyone else. That's all that matters!"

"He was disappointed. He pulled away from me because he was disappointed. I felt it Mikey," Ashton sighed, too exhausted to state it with more conviction.

"That doesn't mean he was disappointed in you! He may have been disappointed that he didn't feel the bond. Maybe he was disappointed because he thought you weren't his soulmate and he wanted you to be!" Michael sounded exasperated and Ashton felt a little guilty for getting him so relied up but he didn't believe that.

"I'm used to not being what people expect. Of course it wouldn't be any different when it came to my soulmate. We're not properly bonded; we never will be without the connection. Until earlier today I didn't even know it was possible to detect your soulmate without eye contact but it doesn't matter anyways. He can find someone else, someone who isn't a disappointment. There are tons of people who aren't with their soulmates for whatever reason and Luke could be with anyone of them if he wanted."

Every word spoken was like acid in Ashton's tongue. It burned and it hurt but everyone deserved better than him, especially his soulmate. He was broken in so many ways and he couldn't stand to feel Luke disappointed in him again but if they were together he knew it wouldn't be possible. He would always be a regret.

"Ashton come on! People who don't stay with their soulmates usually have really good reasons not to. This is just stupid, okay?"

"This is a good reason; can't you see that Mikey? I'm setting Luke free. I'm complicated and a lot of work to deal with. It wouldn't be effortless like with everyone else and Luke deserves what everyone else has.

Maybe later on he might think he wants me but the moment we start a relationship and I become more work than I'm worth he'll drop me. I can't handle him leaving me once we start a relationship because I'll be more attached than ever.

At least this way there's nothing keeping us together. We may be emotionally bonded but it's called soulmates for a reason. We're not bonded by soul and we never will be because I'm blind. He'll find someone else and that's that. I'm not having this discussion again Michael please just drop it."

Ashton leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. He heard Michael groan beside him but he didn't care. It was a difficult decision but one that was necessary and it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for Luke.

All these years Luke would send him so much love through the bond for someone that he didn't even know. Maybe at first Ashton was angry at Luke for rejecting him but now he knows he deserves far more than him. He knows Luke's a good person because he felt that he was worried about him and felt guilty for what he did but he doesn't need to because even though they're soulmates doesn't mean they're meant to be. Maybe in another world where Ashton isn't blind and broken, where he isn't a burden to those who care about him they could've been together. Not here though.

Ashton didn't know when he fell asleep but suddenly he felt someone's arm slip under his knees and another around his waist, lifting him up after removing his cane from where he had left it tucked in the back. He snuggled into Mikey's touch after hearing him muttering softly that he would be okay.

"Oh my, Michael is he okay?" Ashton heard his mom whisper frantically from close by. He wanted to reassure her that he was okay but he was too exhausted to speak but he knew he'd have to once he got to his dorm considering he didn't even know who his roommate was yet.

"Yeah Mrs. Irwin, he's alright. Just tired," Michael replied calmly. His voice was soothing and he was so grateful to have someone in University that he knew.

Ashton squirmed a little uncomfortably at the sudden pang of worry and jealousy through the bond. He was exhausted; his own emotions having lulled significantly and he didn't want to deal with something so strong even if it wasn't his own emotion. He was confused as to why Luke was feeling anything of the sort until he heard his voice call from a little further away.

"Is he okay Mikey?" Perhaps most people would've missed the annoyance in Luke's voice, it was almost impossible to detect in the first place but Ashton knew what he was feeling at that moment.

"He'll be alright-"

"Let me take him," Luke rushed in. Ashton felt another arm slip under his knees together with Michael's arm and by the way his heart leapt in his chest and the proximity of his voice he knew it was Luke. He didn't want to be with Luke now, however. He wanted some peace of mind to just focus on University and adapting to the change. He knew Luke would distract him from this and he didn't need that right now.

He wiggled away from Luke, hoping he'd get the message when he clung to Michael's shirt and buried his face in his chest. Luke's intense jealousy escalated and Ashton almost flinched as a result. He didn't mean to make Luke feel like that, he just didn't want to deal with the whole soulmate thing right now and Michael was so comfortable he could sleep for about ten years in his arms.

"I think it's best if you give him some time, Luke. I'll get him to his dorm. Tell Calum I love him and I'll see him in a bit." Michael walked off before Luke could reply and he felt his chest ache at the hurt Luke was feeling. This is why he wasn't good for Luke; all he did was make him feel negative emotions.

Ashton wasn't sure if he fell asleep on the way to the dorm or if the journey was just incredibly quick, but next thing he knew he heard the door being unlocked and Michael was walking in. He felt the soft bedding beneath him as he was placed down but didn't bother to open his eyes as it's not like he'd be able to see anyways.

"Thanks Mikey," Ashton murmured sleepily.

"No problem Ashy. Your roommate isn't here so he probably went to a party or something and will probably be back later. Your mom and siblings are outside waiting to say goodbye. They really need to go home soon."

Michael removed Ashton's glasses and he could hear them, as well as his cane, being placed on a nearby surface close to his head.

He felt soft lips press against his forehead in goodbye and footsteps padding softly away as he left. It wasn't long before the door opened again and he could hear his mom, Lauren and Harry enter.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" He heard his mom whisper softly in his ear. He nodded in reply, assuming she could see him and the room wasn't too dark.

"Okay well I'm going to describe the room to you so that when you wake up tomorrow you're not completely confused okay? Make sure you're paying attention. I know you're tired but it'll be easier for you tomorrow." Ashton nodded, trying not to fall asleep and listen to what she was saying.

"Your bed is on the side of the door. From the position you're lying in your bed is on the right side of the room. There are drawers attached to the bottom of the bed and I packed all your books there. There is a shelf in the room but I thought your roommate could use that since he brought a lot more things with him.

I packed all your clothes in the cupboard that's right behind you. The towels are hanging on the rack above your bed which is attached to the side of the cupboard. Your school bag is in the bottom of your cupboard so it wont get in the way. I put your laptop in there along with your slate and stylus and timetable.

The braille writer is on the desk next to the door and the braille display for your laptop is also in your bag. I'm sure you can change things around that aren't where you want them exactly.

The right side of the room is identical to the left so everything you need will be on your side except for the fact that there's one desk beside the door and the shelf and air-con are together between the two cupboards.

Your glasses and cane are on top of the headboard just above you so you don't have to reach far to get it.

I know it sounds confusing now but you only start lessons on Tuesday so you can use tomorrow while your roommate is in his lectures to get used to the place."

Ashton felt so guilty that his mom had gone through all the effort to pack his stuff while he was out god knows where. He didn't deserve her.

"Mom, you didn't have to do that!" Ashton said, expressing his guilt.

"It's fine, Ash. Don't worry yourself about it."

"When did you have time to do all this?" Ashton was honestly confused since apparently his mom had been going all out looking for him.

"When I got to your dorm this afternoon when we arrived I immediately starting packing. I knew you were nervous about today and I didn't want you to stress anymore than necessary. I finished packing after Michael found you since I knew you'd be too tired to do it yourself."

After Ashton thanked his mom a million and one times and made sure his phone was charging with the alarm set for the next morning, he said goodbye to all of them. He assured Lauren and Harry that it wasn't their fault so they wouldn't go home feeling too guilty.

Ashton fell asleep that night completely exhausted, trying to ignore the hurt and guilt Luke was feeling through the bond.  

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