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Never thought I'd post 4 updates in the past 13 hours but oh well. I was supposed to space them out but I got excited.
I love the interview I put in the media section. Luke's laugh is so adorable I'm crying!
So Luke's laugh that I poorly attempted to describe at the end of the chapter is in this interview, specifically at 4:36. I can't stop listening to his laugh and it's giving me life!
This chapter is a little bit shorter than the others so sorry in advance for that.
Please let me know if you notice any spelling and/or grammatical errors because they bother me.
If you enjoy, don't forget to comment and vote because it makes my day. :) - Vanessa
***
Lying on his bed, Ashton had his earphones plugged in and listened to music as he read. His fingers brushed across the braille pages as he absorbed the words. He loved reading because although he couldn't see anymore, reading made him forget that and he delved into a world of imagination that made him feel like more.
His music wasn't turned up loud enough to drown out any sound but he was so engrossed in the book that he didn't notice when the door to his dorm opened.
"So, you're my roommate then?" A loud voice suddenly said. Ashton jumped in fright, letting out a squeal of surprise as he pulled his earphones out.
Ashton gulped, not expecting his roommate to show so suddenly after being gone for so long. He was starting to enjoy having the room to himself.
"Y-yeah," Ashton stuttered out, looking towards the direction of his voice.
"You're blind then?" Ashton's eyes widened in surprise before he slowly nodded, not sure how he felt about the guy.
"Dude, your eyes look crazy," the guy said. Ashton flinched backwards due to how close he sounded and when he smelt the alcohol on his breath he inched back even more. He forgot to put his glasses back on so he felt self-conscious and wanted the guy to back up because he was too close and it made him uncomfortable.
"Do you- do you know where my sunglasses are?" Ashton stuttered. He would search for them himself but the guy was still incredibly close and he didn't want to bump heads which would no doubt happen.
"It's weird cause you kind of seem dead but then you're alive, you know? So crazy! Yeah, you should definitely wear your glasses because, no offense, but your eyes kind of creep me out, you know?"
Ashton swallowed, the guy's words hurting more than he wanted to let on. He nodded slowly, lowering his head so he wouldn't be able to see his eyes.
Suddenly, a loud crunch was heard and Ashton's head shot up at the sound, wondering what had broken.
"Fuck! I'm sorry man your glasses were on the floor and I kind of stepped on them. Oops?" He said chuckling. Ashton's heart dropped, dread filling him.
"Name's Brad, by the way. You?" He continued, as though he hadn't done anything wrong even if it was a mistake.
"Ashton," he mumbled back.
"Cool cool," he said. Ashton heard him opening his cupboard from further away and knew he was probably getting changed since he hadn't been here since yesterday. Ashton climbed off the bed slowly and knelt on the floor, feeling for his glasses. He winced when his hand found the broken glass from the lens and cut his finger.
"Ouch," he mumbled to himself, bringing his finger to his mouth and trying to suck away the blood. He stood up, walking towards the dustbin that was beside the desk.
It was a struggle to clean up the glasses because they'd been completely shattered and he didn't want the lens to cut him again, but eventually everything was clean.
"You know what's cool about you being blind?" Brad said suddenly from the direction of his bed and Ashton assumed he was lying down. He frowned at his choice of words but asked anyways.
"What?"
"I've always been one to hang around naked in my room and I thought since I came to University I'd have to give that up, but since you can't see it's not like it's a problem, you know?" He said cheerfully. Ashton blushed furiously, feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
"W-what? Are you naked right now?" Ashton squeaked.
"Yup," he replied, popping the 'p'.
Ashton couldn't help but feel violated, like Brad was taking advantage of the fact that he was blind to do something that was completely disrespectful in his opinion. Sure he couldn't see him but it made him feel completely wrong knowing he was just hanging around naked.
"Please don't," Ashton pleaded.
"Oh come on! It's not like you can see anyways I don't see what the problem is. Come on, don't be such a puss."
Ashton sighed but nodded anyways knowing that he'd probably just do it and he'd never know. He tried to ignore the fact that Brad was naked and continue reading but he just felt wrong.
When a knock on the door sounded, Ashton waited a little for Brad to answer it then realised because he was naked he probably expected Ashton to answer the door instead. He sighed, placing his book down and walking towards the door. He hesitated before answering, however, because he felt so exposed without his glasses and he knew if he closed his eyes he'd just look stupid.
He didn't know what to do. Brad's words echoed in his head and he knew his eyes looked really weird, it wasn't as though he'd never heard the words before, but it'd been a while and it really hurt and made him feel even more insecure.
"You gonna answer that?" Brad asked when the person knocked again.
"Do you have sunglasses I can borrow?" Ashton asked, hoping that since he broke them he'd somehow be decent and lend him his own for now.
"I need them, dude. You can just buy your own."
Ashton sighed before going to open the door and lowered his head so the person wouldn't see his eyes.
"Hey Ashy!" He heard Michael say. He sighed in relief when hearing his voice but was surprised to hear Calum greet him as well.
"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Ashton asked, confused since he didn't have any lectures today.
"It's lunch time," Calum said. "Thought we could have lunch together since campus is huge and it can be really confusing."
"Okay," Ashton agreed, not realising how hungry he was until now. "Let me just get my cane."
"We can guide you. There's a lot of stairs and stuff," Michael offered, voice sounding somewhat chirpy and Ashton felt his lips curve into a small smile that he knew Michael couldn't see cause his head was still lowered.
He knew it would be a lot easier but he didn't like being a burden. He didn't like relying too much on others.
"Come on, Ash. It's not a problem, really." Ashton reluctantly agreed.
"Why'd you lower your head, Ashton," Calum suddenly asked. He sighed sadly, already missing his glasses.
"His eyes are creepy, dude. Trust me you don't want to see them even if they are kind of cool at the same time," Brad suddenly chipped in.
"First of all, why the fuck are you naked?" Michael's voice was laced in anger and it surprised him because Michael sounded like a kitten if kitten's could speak and he wasn't used to the hostility.
"Secondly, shut the fuck up," he continued.
"Whoa! Calm down there, tiger. I'm naked cause Ashton over there can't see so it doesn't matter anyway, plus it's not my fault his eyes look like something out of The Walking Dead."
Ashton swallowed, trying to ignore the hurt. He was used to this, he tried to remind himself, but it didn't make it hurt less.
"Let's just go," Ashton mumbled, voice cracking slightly. He stepped forward, relying on Michael and Calum stepping back, before closing the door behind him.
An arm linked with his and he assumed it was Michael because he didn't know Calum too well yet.
"I'm going to beat the shit out of him," Michael growled.
"It's okay, Mikey. Really," Ashton tried to assure him, hoping the hurt in his voice wasn't evident. Michael sighed sadly but knew his roommate would probably be even worse towards Ashton if he beat him up.
"You can lift your head up, you know. We wont judge you," Calum said softly but Ashton just shook his head, keeping his head firmly down.
The walk was a little bit long and Ashton suspected they were walking a little slower than necessary because of him even if they didn't need to. He didn't mind though, however, as he was enjoying the walk and it made him feel calm as the breeze ruffled his curls.
He cringed when he realised he hadn't asked anyone if his hair was acceptable. Calum and Michael were talking about their classes that day and he didn't want to interrupt so he waited a little.
"Is my hair okay?" Ashton asked when they stopped talking.
"Your hair looks great, Ashy," Michael complimented. "Doesn't it, Cal?"
"Definitely," Calum agreed cheerfully.
"Are you sure it's not messy?" Ashton asked again, not sure if he trusted them to be completely honest.
"I'm sure. It's curly and it looks cute. Promise," Michael assured. Ashton blushed a little at the compliment but nodded, keeping his head lowered.
Calum and Michael continued their conversation softly, leaving openings for Ashton if he wanted to join in. He was grateful that they didn't pressure him to talk but didn't completely leave him out either. He found himself contributing to the conversation every now and then but he still felt a bit nervous because he hadn't had any friends in nine years and he wasn't sure if they even wanted to consider him a friend.
He found his mind wondering to Luke, pondering where he could be. Calum and Michael are his friends from what he's gathered so he hoped they didn't ditch him. He wanted to ask but at the same time he didn't so he just let it be.
"We're here," Michael said a little too loudly but it made Ashton smile because Michael had always been a little inappropriately loud and never seemed to realise it.
The place had a soft buzz of chatter and Ashton was grateful that it wasn't overwhelming. The place felt warm and comfortable and he was glad they'd chosen this place.
"I know I should've asked you sooner but um- Luke? Well he's saving our table here for us and like I know you said you didn't want to be with him but Luke said- he said you guys were friends or something?" Ashton nodded hesitantly, still not entirely sure if that was a good idea or not.
Michael guided Ashton to a table, making sure he didn't bump into anything or anyone.
"Hey, Ash," he heard Luke say. No matter how often he heard Luke speak it was still the most beautiful sound in the world and he couldn't help it when his heart raced just hearing it.
"Hi," he mumbled, still keeping his head lowered. His neck was cramping terribly but he'd rather deal with that physical pain than the emotional pain of being insulted repeatedly for something that wasn't his fault.
Luke's warm hands gripped onto the arm that wasn't being held by Michael and gently pulled him down onto the leather seat next to Luke as Michael released his grip. He heard Michael and Calum take the seats in front of him and Luke and he couldn't help but feel both nervous and excited to be sitting next to him.
Luke scooted closer to Ashton so that their thighs were brushing and he didn't know if that was something that strictly friends did but considering he's no expert in the friend's department he decided to let it go.
"What are you going to have to drink, Ash?" Luke asked.
"Um, what do they have here?" He asked, hoping the question wouldn't annoy Luke.
"Well, I'm having Irish coffee because I just recently tasted it and I'm obsessed but they have tonnes of stuff. I can read them to you if you'd like," Luke offered, his voice lighting up just talking about the coffee.
"Ah, I'll just have that I think," Ashton said because he's had it before and he did rather enjoy it.
"Why won't you lift your head, baby?" Ashton's heart summersaulted at the pet name even though he was ninety percent sure friends don't say that to each other, but again he couldn't be sure.
"My glasses broke," he sighed.
"How'd they break? You had them earlier today and they were fine," Luke pointed out as though Ashton didn't know already. He wanted to reply sarcastically but he also didn't want to be rude. Before he could reply, however, the waitress arrived asking what they wanted to drink in a rather overfriendly tone. He didn't know why so he just shrugged it off.
"I'll have an Irish coffee," Ashton said, raising his voice a little to be heard over the chatter. After the rest of the guys had ordered, Luke nudged him softly, reminding him to continue.
"My roommate broke them. He stepped on them," Ashton replied, growing annoyed just thinking about Brad.
"Fuck that guy is such a dick," Michael pitched in. Ashton mentally agreed but didn't say anything.
"Why?" Luke asked, voice laced with annoyance already.
"He walks around naked because according to him, because Ash can't see, it's acceptable. He was also just being a fucker to Ash," Michael grunted angrily. He was glad Michael didn't repeat what Brad had said because he didn't want to hear it again, however, Luke just had to ask.
"I thought you were beginning to be okay with me seeing your eyes. Is it because Michael and Calum are here? Because I promise they wont judge you."
Ashton just sighed, getting tired of the conversation already and wanting it to be over. "He insulted the way my eyes look."
"What? Well why the fuck didn't you guys do anything?" Luke whispered angrily, not wanting to draw attention to their table.
"Mikey was about to Luke, but Ashton just wanted us to leave so we did. Ashton has to live with him so we didn't want to make the situation worse."
"Please can we not talk about this anymore?" Ashton pleaded as he had a feeling Luke was going to protest. He heard Luke sigh, knowing that meant he would let it go. For now.
"Um, what is there to eat?" Ashton asked, since he couldn't read the menu.
"Shit, I'm sorry baby. Let me read the menu to you. Anything in particular you're leaning towards?"
Ashton didn't want something messy because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of the guys, but mostly Luke.
"Do they have sandwiches?" He asked.
After Luke read out the sandwich options and Ashton picked the chicken mayonnaise one because it sounded good and he was hungrier than he thought, he sighed contentedly.
Michael and Calum were talking animatedly about the new season of Game of Thrones but Luke was quiet beside him. He could feel Luke looking at him and he shifted uncomfortably.
"Why are you looking at me?" He asked, afraid to know the answer.
"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly. "You're just so beautiful." Ashton's face flushed yet again and he heard Luke chuckle beside him.
"Please look up?" Luke asked again suddenly and Ashton grumbled under his breath because Luke didn't know how to let things go and he kept reminding him of the cramp in his neck when he was trying to ignore it.
Ashton slowly raised his neck, wincing from it being in the same position for so long. He didn't know where to look so he kept his eyes fluttering in all directions, knowing that people hated when his eyes settled on them. He didn't know when that happened but he could understand why they'd hate that.
"I promise you look beautiful. You don't need to hide from us, especially me okay, Ash?" Luke said. Ashton hesitantly moved his eyes in Luke's direction and nodded.
"Little more to the right, baby," Luke mumbled. Ashton flushed but did as he was told.
"I didn't mean it in a bad way, you don't need to be embarrassed. I just thought you'd like it if we were facing each other exactly," he said, probably due to the pinkness of Ashton's cheeks.
Ashton jumped when the waitress arrived again with their drinks. He turned to face the front again, his eyes on the table so that the waitress couldn't see. He thanked her when he heard the glass being placed in front of him. They all ordered and Ashton was getting hungrier at the thought of eating.
He slowly reached forward for the glass, not wanting to knock it over. He winced at the heat but was also comforted by it once he got used to it. He sighed contentedly as he lifted the glass to his lips to take a sip. However, he didn't know that there was cream on top and his nose and upper lip dunked in the cream.
"Aw man!" Ashton said, frustrated as he placed his glass down. Luke burst out laughing and even though Ashton was embarrassed he couldn't help but smile at the sound. Luke's laugh was probably the best he'd ever heard. It started off loud and went high pitched at the end and it made Ashton smile so wide it made his cheeks hurt.
Luke continued laughing and Ashton probably looked like a fool with cream all over his face and with a wide smile as all the boys laughed. He didn't feel insulted. For once he felt as though everyone was laughing together and not at all like he was being laughed at, at least not offensively.
He felt around for the napkins, however, because he didn't want his face to be sticky. He sighed happily when he found one but first decided to lick some of the cream off his lip by sticking his tongue out because it was good and he didn't want to waste it. He was still smiling as he wiped the cream from his face and the laughter around him died down.
"You've got dimples!" Luke suddenly cried out. Ashton felt a finger poke into his dimple and giggled a little at the feeling.
"Oh my god, your giggle is so cute and your smile! You're killing me, baby!" Luke was being so loud but Ashton couldn't help but continue to giggle as Luke took the napkin and wiped the areas he didn't know he missed.
He scrunched up his nose as Luke wiped the tip and giggled again and closed his eyes because it made him want to sneeze.
"Fuck, you're just too cute my heart can't deal," Luke said, smile evident in the tone of his voice. And Ashton felt it, is the thing. He could feel the love radiating through the bond and it made him smile and blush because he wasn't lying. There was so much love he felt his own heart ache with it and he had never felt happier than he did at that moment.
Sure he didn't know if he could date Luke yet, but he knew that being friends first was a good idea. He needed to feel like he could trust him first and also feel more confident and comfortable around Luke and himself.
Ashton ate his sandwich hurriedly when it arrived and it was probably the best he'd ever had. It may have been because he was so hungry or maybe it was just insanely good, either way he was the first to finish.
The rest of lunch was filled with laughter and jokes and stories and Ashton couldn't stop smiling. He knew he could consider all three of them friends and from spending nine years with only his family to rely on to being able to call them his friends made him feel a little emotional, especially when they all agreed to eat out together as much as possible.
Ashton knew he could always order in and have it delivered to his room but he liked going out for once. He didn't feel judged and even forgot that he didn't have his glasses on. He didn't feel self-conscious about where his eyes should face or if he was making anyone uncomfortable, he just felt happy.
Because maybe he was broken, but maybe he wouldn't always be and perhaps him and Luke could be one day.
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