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So I have up to chapter 4 pre-written which is the fastest I've ever written because it usually takes me forever but I still need to edit it. Hopefully it'll be up soon.

I'm not in university so I'm not 100% sure how these things work and it's probably inaccurate but I can't really be bothered at this point so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes.

I don't know anyone who's blind but I tried to do some research and be somewhat accurate but again, I don't really know and some of the stuff is most probably wrong. I also obviously don't know what it's like to be blind but I'm writing from how I assume it would be like.

The video above is just what the guys look like and what some of the suff Ashton uses looks like. An explanation of what they are is in this chapter.

If I'm being honest I really don't like how this chapter is written and I'm sorry it's not very good. I just got so excited to write that I wasn't really focusing at all on actually writing it well but hopefully it's not too bad.

Please let me know if there are any grammatical or spelling errors because I was too lazy to edit this properly but I hate having errors.

Don't forget to comment and vote if you enjoyed. :) - Vanessa

***

What was perhaps everyone's favourite trait of Ashton's was also quite possibly his greatest flaw. It's a delicate balance between the two really, a two sided candle that burns on both ends; they can both meet in the middle or one side can burn greater than the other creating an imbalance. It takes careful handling, a slight tip of one side and the flame licks away at the wax in uneven amounts.

Ashton always viewed the world with what most would call an innocence that bordered on naïve. It gave him an air of serenity and lightness, as though he were floating through life undeterred without the weight of the world, without the worry of tomorrow.

He never considered the possibility that anything in his life could go wrong. Up until the age of 10, his life was almost too perfect. Possibly his parents could be to blame, having shielded him at his young age to the point that he was almost ignorant to the sufferings of others. He was never grateful for all the good things in his life as he never considered that there were people out there who had it more difficult than he did.

He was the brightest child, with his soft caramel hair that fell in soft waves over his forehead and dimples that lit up his face with every smile or giggle. His parents couldn't imagine a more perfect child, one who never threw tantrums and laughed and smiled radiating joy in a world that could do with a little more delight.

Growing up and learning about their soulmates at school was perhaps one of Ashton's most favourite things to learn about. He relished in the tales told by his parents and family members, dreaming of the day he'd finally meet his. The ability to sense any powerful emotion your soulmate is feeling at the time is both a gift and a curse. Strong moments of pure happiness can be felt through the bond but also the most painful emotions.

What makes a soulmate bond is not only their emotional connection and their physical connection which comes after they meet, but their very souls connect. This occurs the moment two soulmates look into each others eyes; the window to their souls meet. This is what makes it impossible for soulmates to fall in love with anyone else after meeting their partners. It doesn't mean they'll undoubtedly be together forever because people will always make mistakes in the end and not all relationships are perfect, it just means that they have the ability to find the person they could spend the rest of their lives with in complete happiness.

There was no doubt for Ashton that after the accident when he was ten, his soulmate must have hurt greatly. Ashton began to suffer from anger and depression, both appearing in sudden bursts that had Ashton consumed with bitterness. Although he was young, everything good Ashton had thought of the world was ripped away. His belief in the good in people and the world was changed dramatically. Ashton knows his soulmate felt it; all the resentment and loss. He knows this because when it all felt like too much, when the world felt like a room in which he was trapped with the walls closing up on him and he couldn't breathe, he felt love.

It was little at first, a small glistening ray of positivity in an otherwise darkened pit of negativity. It was a slight swell in his heart that left flutters in his stomach and it was everything he needed to breathe again. It was a gasp of breath after he thought he would drown. Every time it felt like too much his soulmate sent him the exact same emotion. It was as though they had felt his pain and wanted him to know he was loved.

When Ashton found out he was blind it felt as though someone had switched the lights off at 3am. There is nothing in this world more frightening than waking up and opening your eyes only to find nothing but complete and utter darkness. Finding out that that darkness is all you will ever know for the rest of your life is worse. Ashton didn't know that that was his greatest fear until it happened.

It's been the hardest nine years he could've ever imagined. Ashton honestly doesn't believe he would still be alive today if it weren't for the constant swell of positivity from his soulmate. He's had to learn so many things in his life all over again, almost like he was starting his life from the beginning and so many times he wondered whether it would all be worth it or not.

What makes everything worse though is Ashton knows he will never meet his soulmate. Eye contact is essential in meeting your soulmate. It's the connecting of two souls destined to be together and the understanding of that connection lies in the first moment you lock eyes. He'd read every possible description and heard every tale as a child and not once had he heard of one where eye contact wasn't used in fully connecting to their soulmate.

As Ashton grew older it was difficult in High School. No one was particularly horrible to him but if someone perhaps walked passed him and bumped shoulders a little too harshly they didn't hold back in their laughter when he fell and struggled to get up.

Ashton was always a little sensitive but after the accident, people's actions and laughter, which others would possibly brush off after a few hours, had Ashton lying awake at night wishing it all away. He never had any friends, his only friend having left a few months before the accident when his parents got a new job. He'd never gotten in contact since and he didn't want to. He couldn't see the pity or disgust in people's eyes but he knew it was there and he didn't need that. He felt those emotions himself all too often.

His little sister, Lauren, often helped him at finding cases of those who are blind and how they found and connected to their soulmate. He needs to know if somehow it's possible but he hasn't had that much luck. His sister found cases but he doesn't know if they met before or after one of their partners became blind. He'd try contacting them but there's no contact information available and he doesn't want to burden his family more than he already does.

They've spent so much time and money on him, dealing with his bursts of anger and depression that he can't possibly ask them for more help. He has to figure this one out on his own but for now he's prepared to assume he'll always be alone because even if they do meet, they'll never be able to fully connect.

***

Ashton doesn't think he's ever been as nervous as he is now. He hates change, hates starting new things because he's not used to them and being blind means it takes him far longer than most to adjust. Starting University, especially in Sydney which is further away from home than he'd like, makes everything so much worse. His palms feel clammy and sweaty, cold as he rubs them repeatedly against the rough fabric of his jeans. His chest aches with the fear of an entire campus of unfamiliarity and new people. His stomach is lurching, twisting in odd directions and making him feel sick.

The university appointed him someone to help him get around and he's worried that that person will find him a burden. He hopes the university picked someone who's learning the same course because at least they'll be able to attend lectures together and he won't feel like he's holding them back. He doesn't even want to think about his roommate because he knows his nerves will only spike and he's stressed enough as it is.

He can feel that the car window is slightly open. The air that whips his curls is soft and gentle, making his hair tickle his face and he welcomes the breeze in the typically hot Australian heat. The air feels thick with heat and nerves and the soft hum of his mom's singing is doing nothing to ease the ache of his nerves.

The drive to Sydney is far but they've been driving for a while and he knows they're almost there. Lauren and Harry are arguing in the backseat and he feels the start of a headache from combined stress and their loud banter. He wishes his dad would also be coming but he knows he's busy with an important meeting today which was why they spent so much time together yesterday.

"Are you alright, Ash?" He hears his mom's concern lacing her voice, soft and gentle as though she's afraid she'll frighten him. The wind whipping past the car window, the radio playing softly in the background combined with Harry and Lauren's joking would mean that most people wouldn't even have heard his mom's voice, but he relies so dependently on his hearing and other senses that he's able to hear her just fine.

"I'm fine, mom." Any hope Ashton had of seeming indifferent was sadly taken away with the crack in his voice. It sounds thick, like he's trying not to cry but in truth he's just so nervous he feels a lump in his throat he can't seem to swallow.

"Ash-"

"Are you sure my outfit goes?" Ashton asked again, still sceptical on his mom's style of clothing since he can only feel the material but can't see the colours and designs. He hears her sigh but can also hear the light-heartedness behind it and knows she's smiling, perhaps softly or maybe she's grinning wide. It could even be a gentle tilt in the corners of her lips but it's difficult to tell exactly.

"You're wearing black skinny jeans that are ripped at the knees, as I'm sure you can feel. You have a sleeveless black shirt which I'm also sure you can tell. It's not too tight but slightly loose, fitting you just well. The neckline is high and the design is of that noisy band you always listen to, ACDC. It has their faces on it and it's the shirt we bought together last year. You're wearing your black and white high-top converses that look a little old and worn but I know you find them comfortable and they honestly go well with your outfit. Your hair is curled and a little ruffled by the fringe but it looks adorable honey."

Ashton turns towards the direction of his mom's voice and smiles. She's always tried to be as descriptive as possible and although he knew a lot of what she was saying by touch this morning when he was getting dressed he's still grateful for her soothing voice and her reassurances. This isn't the first time she's described his outfit today and she knows he's just asking to ease his nerves so she doesn't mind.

His mom also made sure to help him pack clothing that all matched so that no matter what he wore his outfit would always look good. He loves her for helping him out so much and at least clothing is one less thing he has to worry about now that he knows he won't be walking around with items of clothing that really shouldn't be worn together.

Getting all his textbooks in braille cost a lot of money and his mom managed to get him a refreshable braille display and a laptop so that he would be able to do research for university. His parents have spent so much money for him to be comfortable enough to attend university and he's never been more grateful to have parents like them. He also made sure to bring his braille writer because although he can use his slate and stylus to write it's more time consuming and he doesn't like it.

Ashton has spent so much time thinking out every aspect of university and discussing it with his parents so that he would be as prepared as he could be. He uses Siri on his iPhone and has voice control but sometimes she can't understand him because of his Australian accent and it annoys him. He needs to get in the habit of using it more, however, as he needs to voice record lectures so that he can make notes during his spare time because he knows the lecturers will go at a pace suitable for the rest of students but he doesn't blame them.

He's also decided to take the part time course instead of full time. He knows university is a lot of work and he'll need extra time to take notes and complete his work. Perhaps if he'd been born blind he'd be more accustomed to braille and using it but he's glad he got to see the world before he lost his sight. At least he remembers what everything looks like and can at least imagine scenarios in his head and have memories to compare things to.

After his mom told Lauren and Harry to keep their voices down, the rest of the drive was relatively quiet and uneventful. Ashton constantly pushed the sunglasses perched on his nose upwards out of habit and nerves and his white cane was folder on his lap as he fiddled with the rough textured rope on the end.

The high pitched whine and soft lurch of the car signalled that they had come to a stop and when he heard his mom turning the keys he knew they'd arrived. His nerves, after having somehow managed to settle them earlier, came back in full swing and he wanted nothing more than to ask his mom to drive them all back.

He felt his mom's hand intertwining with his and giving him a gentle squeeze. Her hands were soft and gentle, like everything about her and he breathed out in relief at the familiar feeling. He gave her a squeeze in return, letting her know that he would be okay before he felt for the door handle.

Lauren and Harry began their usual antics as they got out the car while Ashton unfolded his white cane and closed the car door behind him. He felt his way to the back of the car, being careful that his cane felt every possible obstacle in his way as this was unfamiliar territory and the last thing he needed was to fall in front of everyone.

He could hear the buzz of chatter, cars driving behind him, car doors slamming, laughter and shouting, crying from family members probably saying goodbye. The sound of the leaves being rustled by the breeze calmed him very little and he still felt confused, his head muddled with so many sounds that were hard to pinpoint. He hated going out for this reason but it was unavoidable now and he was going to have to get used to it.

It wasn't as though he'd never experienced this before, he did attend school after all but after so many years he'd become used to it. This was Sydney. He'd never been to Sydney and this was university too. Knowing that he was in such an unfamiliar place made his nerves grow so much more and all he wanted to do was bury himself in blankets and eat food in his room at home.

He could hear his mom giving Lauren and Harry boxes to carry and telling them to be careful. He didn't have a lot with him as he didn't have many hobbies. He spent most of his free time listening to music and reading so a lot of his space was filled with books. He didn't need picture frames or anything sentimental as it's not as though he could see them anyways.

He didn't have posters for his room or anything that he would be needing to decorate. He only had the essentials but he still wishes he could help them carry his boxes. He felt guilty having to rely on people so much but he also felt scared that he wouldn't be able to anymore. He was going to have to find new ways of doing things on his own as those at university didn't know him and had no obligation to help him.

"Okay Ash, I'm carrying one box and Harry and Lauren are carrying one each so that's all of them. I'm so sorry Sweetheart but do you think you could close the boot?" Ashton nodded, hoping his mom was able to see him and trailed his hand along the car trying to find the lifted boot.

"Harry, Lauren, I'm going to start heading to the dorm room and we've all been here before so I know you remember where it is. Make sure you show Ash the way, okay?"

Ashton could hear them mumbling something incoherent as he slammed the boot closed. He closed it with a little too much force, however, and the cane slipped from his fingers. He cursed to himself for not putting his hand through the rope at the top to prevent just that. He knew Lauren and Harry couldn't help him as they were carrying his boxes so he got down and felt for the cane, knowing it couldn't have gotten too far as he just dropped it, not threw it across the campus.

He sighed in relief as he felt the cold, smooth texture of the cane beneath his fingers but flinched a bit at the heat of the tar from where his left hand was pressed against the road for support as he hoisted himself back up.

"Harry? Lauren?" Ashton asked, realising he hadn't heard their bickering for the past minute when they were usually incredibly loud. When he didn't hear their reply he began to panic. He'd only been here once before and he didn't know where they were parked so he didn't know where to begin walking to the dorms. He tried to calm himself though by reminding himself that they'd be back at the car. It's not like they could leave without the car anyways.

His panic, however, came back full force when he thought that they might've been kidnapped. It's not like he'd be able to see, however he would've heard signs of a struggle and he's pretty sure the crowded parking lot would see if two children were kidnapped.

He felt his way towards the front of the car, opting to just sit inside and wait for them to get back. He groaned, however, when he felt for the handle and found he couldn't open it as his mom probably locked the car before he even closed the boot. It seems the new chapter in his life wasn't off to a great start and he just wanted to go back home.

He leaned against the car door, not stupid enough to risk trying to find his own way when him mom and siblings would be back shortly. Ashton couldn't help but feel slightly awkward, almost like he could feel people staring at him so he pulled his phone out of his back pocket that still had the earphones connected and plugged them into his ears. He wasn't actually listening to anything as he didn't feel like using Siri in the parking lot where people would most likely judge him even if he couldn't see them doing it.

Ashton could feel his nerves picking up every minute he waited. He heard a car pull up right in front of him and he tried to even his breathing and act natural. He'd placed his cane on top of the car, not wanting it to be completely obvious to people that he's blind. He wanted for a moment to be like everyone else. He couldn't see the crowd, but he could imagine them around him and all he wanted was to be normal; to not be the person with the cane and sunglasses that walked slowly hoping not to trip.

"Fuck Cal, stop being such a lazy shit and wake up." Ashton heard. The voice was beautiful and it made his breath hitch in his throat. It was deep, deeper than his own anyways, and was gravelly yet smooth at the same time. He could feel his heart accelerate just from the one sentence alone and he felt as though he could listen to the voice speaking forever.

He knew the person was getting out of the car in front of him due to the proximity of the voice but he didn't really know what was happening. He didn't know who this Cal was and why he was sleeping but he assumed they were in the same car and arrived together because he didn't think he'd be sleeping on the road.

"Shut the fuck up, Lucifer," the person Ashton assumed was Cal replied. Ashton flinched at how loud the voice was. He'd obviously gotten out the side of the car directly in front of him and Ashton was scared he was in the way or that the two guys would judge him, especially the one with the beautiful voice that Ashton wanted to listen to forever. Ashton tried to scoot over so that he wouldn't be in the way but he was also scared he would trip on something because he's always been extremely clumsy.

"Do you think that guy's alright?" The beautiful voice asked. Ashton was confused for a moment about who they were talking about until he felt a hand on his shoulder and someone pull the earphones from his ears. He flinched in surprise, jumping a little and almost toppling over at the sudden contact. He whipped his head frantically to the side he assumed the person was standing at and gulped loudly.

"Hey, are you alright dude?" Cal asked. Ashton tried to steady his breathing so that his reply wouldn't sound strained but he opted for just nodding.

"Why are you standing here all by yourself?" He asked, clearly not pleased with Ashton's lack of answer.

"I-I'm waiting for my family to get back from my dorm," Ashton mumbled, hoping the answer was enough and that he'd leave him alone. Ashton felt a similar feeling to the one he'd gotten earlier from listening to the other guy's voice but it wasn't his own emotion, it was coming through the soulmate bond and Ashton was confused and slightly jealous that his soulmate was feeling the same emotion wherever he was.

"Why don't you just go find them?" The beautiful voice asked. He sounded confused and intrigued, his voice coming closer. Ashton was honestly panicking. There was so much happening and he felt confused with both his own and his soulmate's emotions coming so strongly.

Ashton was scared, he didn't want to tell these guys he's blind. He felt so drawn to the one that he couldn't handle the thought of him being disgusted in him.

"I-I can't," he said pathetically, just wanting them to go away because he was scared and he hadn't spoken to new people in so long and where the hell was his family?

"Why not?" Cal asked. He sounded slightly annoyed but Ashton didn't blame him. He annoyed a lot of people and he was used to it, he just needed the other guy to not find him frustrating and he'd be fine.

Ashton didn't see a way out of this so he opted to tell the truth. Maybe they'd finally leave him alone. He hoped it wouldn't be like the time he was fourteen and they pushed him over and hid his cane. He knows how cruel people can be and even though they're over eighteen, he's had scenarios where adults would simply join in on the laughter and not help him out. He didn't trust anyone.

"I'm blind," Ashton said, hanging his head down in shame. He lifted his hand to push his sunglasses up his nose before letting his hand drop back down. He felt his eyes prickle with tears when the hand left his shoulder. Although he wanted them to leave, it still hurt to be rejected. It's not something he'd ever get used to.

Before Ashton could wallow in his self pity any longer, a gentle hand came to rest under his chin and lifted his head back up. The hand was calloused but somehow still comforting. He felt his heart race as though it were trying to bruise his chest, hammering repeatedly. His breath stopped altogether and he felt dizzy with warmth that spread through every inch of his body, blanketing him. What made everything so much more intense was that the same exact emotion was radiating through the soulmate bond and Ashton couldn't bare to hope else it be too good to be true.

Hearing the strangers breathe hitch in front of him made his heart beat faster with rapid anticipation. He needed to know if it was him but he couldn't see and he'd never been more desperate to see in all his life, even after he'd lost his vision.

The hand left his face only to reach up for his glasses, tugging them gently away. Ashton began to shake his head, not wanting his possible soulmate to see the milky white of his once hazel eyes. He knew it frightened a lot of people how unseeing and empty they were and he didn't want him to see that.

"Hey, it's alright," he murmured close to Ashton, his breath fanning across his face. Ashton flinched when the breeze hit his face where the glasses once were and he waited. He knew the guy was looking into his eyes, obviously having the same suspicion as Ashton that maybe they were soulmates but nothing changed.

Ashton felt the same. Sure his heart was still racing in his chest, his palms clammy and warmth radiating through him but he didn't feel more. Of course he'd never felt like this with someone before and he was still sure this was his soulmate, it had to be. This wasn't a normal reaction to have with someone else considering that due to soulmate bonds it was impossible to ever have feelings for anyone else so it had to be him.

Ashton felt his heart sink in his chest when he felt disappoint flooding through the bond. He knew it was the guy as the hand that was caressing his cheek pulled away. His soulmate was disappointed and Ashton had never felt more disgusted in himself.

The sunglasses were thrust into his hand suddenly and he heard rapid footsteps away from him.

"Luke! Where the fuck are you going?" Cal called out. "He's your soulmate!" He screamed, frustration lacing his voice.

With trembling hands, Ashton slipped the sunglasses back on his face and felt warm tears spill over onto his cheeks. He tried to brush them away but they kept coming and he'd never felt more heartbroken in his life. Ashton felt guilt coming through the bond but it wasn't nearly as strong as the disappointment.

"I'm sorry about Luke he's not usually like that-"

Ashton pushed the hand that came to rest on his shoulder away, turning around and feeling for his cane on top of the roof of the car. He unfolded it carefully, not wanting to drop the cane when his hands were shaking so violently.

"Where are you going?" Cal asked when Ashton slipped the rope around his wrist, gripping the cane firmly and using it to guide himself away.

"Please just leave me alone," Ashton begged. He didn't mean to be rude but he just felt so humiliated and embarrassed. He felt worthless and not good enough for the person called Luke; his soulmate.

He was so worthless not even the one person destined to be with him no matter what could love him. Ashton wanted nothing more than to disappear.

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