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I jumped awake and sat up quickly when I heard the bunk above me squeak loudly and a thud to the floor when Kellin climbed down. He grabbed a towel and walked out of the room. Sighing, I looked at the clock. It was six thirty. I sat against the wall, running fingers through my slightly hair.

It happened again, the nightmares.

Once again I was at home, but this time my father wasn't. I was standing at the door, talking to the police, apparently a neighbor had called, saying that my father had walked out of the house earlier, drunk and stumbling. I didn't tell them anything and they left, only to be replaced with my father who began to beat me, yelling at me, asking if I told anyone anything. The pain had felt so real, like I was really getting hit, but it was all just a stupid nightmare that seemed like was going to happen forever.

I heard the floorboards in the hallway squeak, and eventually Miss McDougall stuck her head around the corner of the doorway and smiled at me.

"Are you awake?" She asked me softly. I nodded and began to crawl out of bed. "Okay, well, can you come downstairs for a few minutes?" She asked, I nodded again and left out of the room, following Miss McDougall down the hallway and downstairs, into the main hallway where the front door was.

Grinning ear to ear was Sergeant McKinnon, wearing his uniform just like every other time I see him. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he looked a little excited.

"Rise and shine kid," he said as I walked closer. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Is there a reason you're here?" I asked, he gave a shrug and looked to Miss McDougall who smiled and walked away, going to wake up the little children.

"I talked to your school board, well, mainly your principal, and we discussed some things. I mainly asked if you could have a transfer to another school. I had asked Miss McDougall if any of the kids that are here went to the one I was hoping I could send you to, and she said that Kellin and his friends went there and that you and them were getting along," Sergeant McKinnon said. I was a little lost as to what he was saying, but then it eventually clicked.

I was going to go to the same school as Kellin and his friends, which wasn't such a bad thing because I never talked to anyone at my old school and I hated it there.

"You start today, by the way, and it's almost seven o'clock." He added.

"I have to go today?" I questioned, almost letting out a groan.

"Yeah, I've already made the transfer for you and everything," Sergeant McKinnon smiled proudly. I groaned slightly and slumped my shoulders.

"You pick your times, don't you?" I muttered. Sergeant McKinnon laughed and shrugged.

"Just doin' my best for ya kid."

I rolled my eyes and thanked him before leaving and going back up to the room where Kellin was getting dressed and trying to shove Jaime awake at the same time.

"Get up you lazy bastard!" Kellin said, pushing him hard one good time.

"I don't want to!" Jaime said, slapping his hands away.

Kellin rolled his eyes and grabbed a shirt, pulling it over his head. He turned to me and sighed, shaking his head.

"He does this every morning and then likes to complain whenever we're nearly late."

I grinned and went over to the closet where I searched through the few of my bags, grabbing boxers, skinny jeans and a t-shirt. Kellin looked at me and smiled.

"I've never shared a room with someone who actually is up at the time I'm up!" He yelled over towards Jaime who easily flipped him off. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked.

"It's at the end of the hallway." Kellin said, I nodded and walked out of the room, going down the hallway as instructed and found the bathroom, flicking on the lights.

。。。

"You have to go in there, Alan." Kellin said, I shook my head and stared at the door.

I didn't want to. I refused.

"Why not? You've got to get your schedule somehow." He said, I shook my head again.

This anxiety was building up inside me and I found it really hard to open up the door to the office and go inside, ask politely for my schedule considering I was new and go on about my day, I just couldn't for some reason.

"Would like for someone to hold your hand?" Jaime asked, I turned and glared at him.

"Seriously, Al, you've got to do it." Kellin said and opened up the door, pushing me inside quickly before shutting it and smiling at me through the glass.

"May I help you?" A old lady's voice said. I gulped and turned around, seeing her sitting behind the desk, her glasses perched on her nose and gray hair pulled back.

"Uh, yeah, I need my schedule, I'm new." I said, gripping my hands together.

"Name?" She asked.

"Alan Ashby." I mumbled, loud enough for her to hear. The lady nodded and began to type on the computer in front of her, the keyboard clacking loudly until a printer ran and she pulled a piece of paper from it, handing it out to me.

"Give this note to all of your teachers," she said, tearing a pink slip and giving that to me also. I nodded and muttered a thank you, leaving out of the office to see Kellin and Jaime leaning against the far wall.

"Now, was that so hard?" Kellin asked, I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up." I said, Kellin laughed and took the paper from my hands, looking it over. "You have all of the same classes as me, except for one and that's with Austin, Jaime and our friend Lynn." Kellin added.

"That's Chemistry." Jaime said, Kellin nodded and gave my schedule back.

"I'll show you to all of your classes and stuff, and when fifth period comes around, you can go with Hime." Kellin said, smiling wide. I nodded, not saying anything as we went to class.

。。。

Half of the day consisted of me giving the note the officer worker gave me to the teachers of my classes. They all looked at me like I was crazy at first, seeing as I was coming to school in the middle of the school year, but you couldn't very well blame me for it, it wasn't all of my fault for everything that has happened the last few days.

It was lunch now, and of course, just like I have throughout the day, I was walking with Kellin. He was telling me about the rest of the teachers and their ways with the classroom, some of the sounded absolutely crazy, but what teacher really wasn't?

Kellin and I walked into the cafeteria, getting into line and grabbing trays, allowing the cafeteria ladies to slap food into each of the slots. I tried not to throw up at some of the things that were on my tray. Once our food was given to us, Kellin beckoned me to follow him down to a table where I saw Jaime, Vic, Mike, Tony, Austin, and many of the others from the orphanage that sat with us at dinner last night and some I hadn't saw before.

"Guys, meet Alan," Kellin said, plopping his tray down and sitting down, pulling me with him.

"Awe, he's adorable," one girl said.

"Is he your new boyfriend?" One boy asked, I saw Vic glare at him.

"No, you idiot, he's at the orphanage with us." Kellin said, throwing a roll at the boy.

"I'm Lynn, these guys are all idiots, by the way." Another girl said.

"We're not all idiots, just mainly Tino who says the dumbest things." Kellin said, glaring at the boy he threw a roll at.

"Hey! I didn't know, I was just asking!" Tino said, defending himself.

"Well it was a very stupid question." Vic said, and I swear I saw Kellin's face darken a deep red.

"O-Okay, um, anyway," he cleared his throat, "this is Tay, Lynn and Tino, as you've already met and the rest, as obvious, live with us." Kellin said, pointing at the two girls and boy.

"You have very bright ginger hair." Tay said, I shrugged and smiled.

Everyone was talkative, going on about everything. I didn't say much, just pushed around my food. It was something I had become accustomed to at my old school because I never sat with anyone else all because I was afraid someone would see my bruises and question everything, and honestly, if I could barely handle going into an office to get something, imagine me freaking out over everyone knowing something I dearly wanted to keep a secret forever.

。。。

It was the end of school and I was walking with Kellin, Jaime, Vic, Mike and Austin outside to where the bus pull up was at. The bright and yellow thing was sat outside, engine roaring and doors opened for everyone to get on. I got on, walking towards the back and sitting down. Kellin sat down across from me and I grinned when Vic sat down next to him. Mike and Tony sat a couple of seats in front of him and Austin plopped down next to me, resting his head against the seat.

The bus started up and began to move, pulling away from the school and beginning to drop kids off at their homes. I sighed, looking out the window for majority of the ride. Suddenly I tensed up, I looking at where we were at.

My old neighborhood.

My heart began to race and my palms began to sweat. We stopped two houses down from where I lived with my father. The house was taped off and I swear I began to feel lightheaded, sinking down into my seat. My breathing picked up and suddenly my chest began to tighten. Memories of the godforsaken place swarmed around in my head, I remembered all of the nights I had to crawl to my room, where I had to curl up tight into the corner of the room because sometimes I couldn't make it all the way there. I remember looking into the mirror of the bathroom and feeling the throbbing of my body as everything ached.

It became all too much and I began to panic.

Austin lifted his head and looked at me, confused as ever and then his eyes widened.

"Hey, hey, no, calm down." He said, I shook my head, not being able to stop everything. "Seriously, you've got to calm down." He said, forcing me to look at him. I felt tears weld up in my eyes and my chest tightened even more.

"Alan, you need to breathe." Austin said calmly. How the hell could he be so calm when I was on the verge of breaking down?

"I-I can't." I whimpered.

"Yes you can, just breathe." He said, I tried to take deep breaths, I really did, but it felt so hard to do. Austin was calm as ever, his chocolate brown eyes warm and relaxing. I almost hated it.

Eventually my breathing evened out and my chest was no longer tight, but there were some stares from the people on the bus, especially from Kellin and Vic who looked extremely concerned. I just sunk down in my seat, disappearing from their stares. Austin didn't say anything else to me, only glanced every now and again.

How embarrassing was that? For me to panic and break down from seeing my old house.

What a way to begin a new school.

。。。

When the bus pulled up outside the orphanage, I was the first to get off before Mike, Tony, Vic, Kellin, Jaime and Austin. I went straight upstairs and to the shared room between Kellin, Jaime and I.

I felt stupid, embarrassed and I wanted to sulk inside my own sadness without any disruptions or questions. I tossed my book bag to the floor and crawled into my bunk, pulling the covers over my head and blocking away the world.

And for the first time in so many years, I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

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