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Becuase I'm nice and bored and it's one o'clock in the morning annnnd yeah :P

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Elliot’s POV

I wish I could say James and I made love, but I can’t. I didn’t feel any compassion in him; he wanted to fuck me just like everyone else. Why did I let him? Oh right, because it’s him.

So where do we go from here? Are we just going to act like nothing happened? What else could we do? I can’t expect him to want me, who would want me? I get fucked for money, I’m a slut, and I can’t possibly have a boyfriend. I can’t possibly have James.

After the fact, James got off the couch without a word and took a shower; I walked into my room and sat on my bed silently, just thinking about what happened. Why did I force myself on him? He probably is disgusted in me, in himself. He’s always been straight, he’s not against gays but he made sure to let me know he never wanted to be one. Maybe he changed? No, I could see the look on his face when he told me to stop; what would I have done if he didn’t give in? Would I go that far to get what I wanted?

“Hey Elliot, where’s James?” Dean walked in and slumped on his bed. I shrugged not looking at him; what if they find out? What would James do? Would he get embarrassed and kick me out? “Something wrong?” he laid on his side and looked at me; I shook my head. “El you can tell me if something’s up you know.” I sighed. I know I can tell him anything, I have vented a few times. He knows I’m in love with James, he knows a tiny bit about my past. I can’t let him know what happened though, not knowing what James would do if anyone found out.

“I’m just tired.” I mumbled and laid on my bed; Dean didn’t pester me anymore, he never usual does.



James’s POV

I stood in the shower just letting the warm water pelt my back. My head rested on the tiles. Why did I enjoy that? I had sex with Elliot. Elliot! My best friend! And I enjoyed it. No. I loved it. I want to feel that again. I crave his touch, his lips and it’s scaring the shit out of me.

Through all the questions that popped in my head one stood out the most. Did he enjoy it?

Sighing, I got out of the shower and dried off. I looked at myself in the mirror; I can’t lie to myself, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.

“Yo James you done in there?” someone knocked on the door and I jumped.

“Y-yeah, hold on a sec.” I called back to Rodney. I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked out as he walked in to take a shower himself. I slipped on my boxers and laid down in my bed. The same questions lingered in my mind.

Am I gay?

Did Elliot enjoy what we did?

Why did he do that?

What now?

I fell asleep still asking myself these questions.

I got up and went to work in the morning; everyone was already gone to school so it was a quiet morning. I was a little disappointed to be honest, I wanted to see Elliot, I wanted to see how he acted towards me so I could know how to act towards him. Was he avoiding me? I hope not…I hope he comes to my work on my break, I want to see him. I need to see him.

Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days. After a fairly boring and uneventful morning I went on my break hoping to see him run up to me again like yesterday.

I had no such luck. Elliot didn’t come on my break or any time during the day. To say the least I was gloomy and got no tips but I didn’t care.

Dean and Rodney were playing some video game when I got in the apartment; Elliot wasn’t there with them. He was probably asleep. I walked over to them and slapped Dean’s shoulder to get his attention; he paused the game and looked at me.

“Where’s Elliot?” I asked, he looked at me a little weird then pointed to his bedroom door.

“He’s in there with some guy named Josh, his boyfriend I think.” He shrugged and my heart stopped. He had a boyfriend? No he couldn’t, he just can’t have one! And he can’t be doing that in there right now! Why do I care? I knew he screwed people on almost a daily basis but now after what happened…wait. Was he just using me? Did he not get his fix for the day?!

I stormed over to his bedroom and shoved the door open not caring. Elliot had his left arm crossed over holding the other taking a ten dollar bill from some guy.

“What the hell?” I asked when I saw them. What’s with the money? They looked at me; the guy who I presumed was Josh didn’t seem to care. Elliot looked terrified.

“I’ll be here tomorrow.” Josh said to Elliot and walked out past me, I kept my eyes on Elliot who was looking down.

“What’s going on Elliot?” I asked hiding the anger in my voice. He didn’t look up at me; I could tell he was hiding something, something big. “Elliot.” I said sternly.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He whispered again.

“Sorry for what?” What was he sorry for? For using me? Would he really admit to doing that?

“I…I…” tears fell from his eyes, the urge to wipe them away filled me but I ignored it. “I’m sorry for making you have sex with me.” He whispered. “I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for being a cheap ass slut!” he raised his voice through tears. A slut what does he mean a…oh my god.

“You…you…what?” I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. A slut? He’s a slut? How? Why?

“You heard me…I’m a slut. A ten dollar whore.” He cried out.

“You don’t have to be.” I spoke the first thing that came to mind. How did I not know my best friend was selling himself out? How long had he been doing it?

“Yes I do!” he sobbed. “No one will ever love me so why do I care?!”

“Elliot people do love you.” I put my hands on his shoulders as he continued to cry.

“No one does! No one ever has and no one ever will!”

“Elliot!” I shook him. “People do love you! You don’t need to sell yourself especially not for ten dollars for the hell of it. You’re worth more than that! You are priceless!” I yelled at him not caring if Rodney and Dean heard, he needs to get this through his head.

“Who loves me James? Tell me.” He whispered closing his eyes while tears continued to spill out of them.

“I do Elliot! I love you! And I don’t want to see you getting hurt; I don’t want to see you selling yourself!” I placed my hands on his wet cheeks, he kept his eyes shut.

“No you don’t…”

“I do Elliot.” I answered. I do love him, he’s my best friend. That I had sex with yesterday…but still I love him.

“Show me you love me James. Show me you really do love me.” He opened his eyes; his grey eyes were darker and glossy. How can I show him I love him? I can’t kiss him, though I desperately want to, he’ll think I love him in that way. I don’t actually love him like that…do I?

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Sorry if it sucks xD I'm kinda out of it today >.< Got two hours sleep on friday and now I think I'm sick -________________-'

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