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Dedication: To everyone who's read/voted/commented at any point. It all means a lot to me so thanks for taking the time out of your lives to read!

Don't forget to point out any errors.

Vote and/or comment if you enjoy! Hope you do. :) - Vanessa

***

Previously:

Ashton drove out of the University as fast as he could. As he drove further and further away, he realised that good things never happened to him when he tried to escape things. He briefly thought back to when he'd first met Luke and how he'd run off.

Nothing good ever came from running away, especially when it was dark out and he was using a car he'd stolen from his friend when he didn't have a license.

Maybe he should've thought this through a little more carefully.

***

Ashton could hear the constant buzzing of his phone where it lay on the passenger seat. He spared it one glance before focusing back on the road. He was driving too fast with trembling hands and a blurry vision.

He blinked away the tears as he focused on the road, but when his vision slightly cleared, he noticed a large fallen branch taking up most of the road.

Ashton panicked as he pressed the breaks down, hearing the car screech as he spun the steering wheel to the left with all his force. He narrowly missed the branch as the car drove off the side of the road, stopping so abruptly his head banged against the steering wheel.

It was eerily quiet as he lifted his head up. He grimaced at the sharp pain in his head, bringing his hand up to inspect the damage and feeling the sticky substance that ran down his face alarmingly fast.

He got out the car, shaking so much he felt like he could barely walk. He bit his lip as he inspected the car and sighed in relief when he saw there was no damage. It was one thing for him to steal Louis' car but he didn't think he'd be all too forgiving if it came back damaged.

He looked around and saw it was dark and quiet, not another car in sight. The only light was coming from the car headlights as a breeze swept through, making him shiver.

He looked into the side rearview mirror and winced when he saw the blood going down the right side of his face from the cut on his forehead. He knew head wounds bled more than the damage caused considering the cut didn't seem all too bad, but he still felt queasy at the sight.

Ashton got back in the car, closing the door as he tried to gather some heat and shivered. He heard his phone vibrating but it wasn't on the passenger seat anymore. He groaned, bending down and looking under the seat, hoping to see it fallen but still okay.

He sighed in relief when he saw the screen lit up on the floor. He snatched it up and looked at the phone, seeing Louis' name flashing.

He answered the phone, but before he could say anything Louis' was screaming on the other end.

"What the fuck, Ashton? Did you take my car? You can't even drive! You don't have a license! Where are you? Are you okay?" He yelled hurriedly. He could hear it was quiet in the background of the call beside the occasional voices.

"I'm sorry, Louis," Ashton whimpered as he placed his hand on his forehead. He was starting to feel a little light headed and he knew driving back wasn't an option or he'd probably get into a worse accident.

"Where are you?" he asked, seemingly trying to remain calm.

"I don't know. There was a branch on the road and I veered off and- and-"

"Calm down, Ashton, yeah? Are you hurt?" He asked, voice gentle.

"The car's okay. I didn't damage the car-"

"I don't care about the car. I want to know if you're hurt," he said again and he could hear panicked voices in the background.

"I- I hit my head but I don't think it's too bad, just bleeding a little," he murmured, biting his lip anxiously.

"Okay, you need to stop the bleeding so you need to use a jacket or something and put pressure on the wound, yeah?"

"I don't have anything with me," Ashton said, beginning to panic.

"That's fine, just use your shirt then," he said calmly despite the voices getting louder in the background.

"But it's cold. It's getting colder in the car," Ashton cried out.

"Ashton, calm down. Turn on the heater in the car and use your shirt for the wound. Got it?"

Ashton was shaking as he nodded and put the heating on, feeling the warm air blast out. He placed the call on speaker, putting it on his lap before removing his shirt and wincing when he applying pressure to the wound with his left hand. He picked his phone back up with his right, cringing at the blood on his hand which had left prints on his phone.

"O-okay, I did it."

"Good. Now since you don't know where you are, I want you to send me your location on iMessage so that we can get to you. Can you do that?"

"I- I don't know. I don't know how to do that," Ashton said shakily.

"That's fine. I'll explain it to you. When I hang up the phone, open our chat on iMessage. Click on 'details' on the top right hand side of the chat. Once that's open, click where it says 'send my current location'. Got it?"

"Y-yeah I think so."

"Good. I'll call you back once I've gotten it, yeah?"

"Okay, t-thanks Louis," Ashton said.

Once the call had ended, he did as Louis asked, surprised at how easy it actually was. He frowned when he noticed how far from the University he'd gotten. It didn't seem as though he'd driven so far but apparently he had.

The moment he'd sent his location his phone began vibrating again.

"Alright, I got it. We'll be there as fast as we can. Just stay put, yeah? We'll stay on the phone so I know you're okay," he insisted but Ashton frowned because his battery was dying. He knew it was a bad idea not to charge it the night before.

"My battery's dying," Ashton sighed, exasperated.

"That's fine. You should probably save what battery you have left incase. Just stay put and we'll be there soon," Louis rushed and Ashton nodded, even though Louis couldn't see him.

Once he'd ended the call, he fought to keep his eyes open. He felt so tired but at least the car was warm. Ashton opened the car door, wincing at the cold air before hurriedly getting out and going into the back seat.

He lay down on the seats, curling up into a ball and laying his bloody shirt down, lying down on it with the side of his head that was cut.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt himself get more and more tired. He knew he was about to fall asleep, and just before he did he cursed himself for being so stupid and driving away from the University. He really wished he hadn't.

***

Ashton was barely awake when he processed voices by the car. He was so groggy and half asleep that he just lay there with his eyes closed, waiting for sleep again.

"Where the fuck is he?" A panicked and beautiful voice said, a voice he was too exhausted to process.

"He said he'd stay in the car- he's in the back seat!" Another voice cried out before he heard the backseat open. He shivered at the sudden cold that contrasted heavily with the heat from inside the car. He shivered, feeling goosebumps erupting on his skin.

"It's okay, baby, I've got you now," he heard a soft voice whisper in his ear. He shivered again, this time not from the cold, as he curled tighter into a ball, wincing at the pain in his head.

He felt himself being lifted up, an arm under his knees and another wrapped around his waist, pulling his curled up form into a broad chest. He could feel his heart accelerate at the familiar touch he never thought he'd feel again; never planned to.

"His head's not bleeding anymore," Luke said quietly to someone else and he heard the relief in his tone.

Luke started speaking again but Ashton felt himself falling asleep again, Luke's warmth shielding him from the cold. When he woke up again it was to the gentle purr of an engine and a car shaking slightly as it drove. He felt himself sitting on someone's lap, pressed up against their chest with his head rested on their shoulder.

He knew by the way a hand was carding through his hair that it was Luke, he always knew when it was Luke.

He knew he should hate Luke so much right now but he'd never be able to hate Luke. He didn't know if he could ever trust him again but he'd never hate him. Ashton found himself leaning closer to Luke if possible, his hand curling up, gripping Luke's shirt in his fist involuntarily.

Because even if he couldn't trust Luke like before, there was no place he'd rather be than in his arms.

***

"Ag," Ashton groaned, clutching his head tightly and wincing. His eyes scrunched up tighter in confusion when he felt he was lying on a soft mattress under a warm duvet. He felt a weight around his waist and a breath puffing softly against the back of his neck. A warm body was pressed flush against his back and he frowned, completely confused.

He opened his eyes groggily and winced. Goddammit he left his contact lenses in and it hurt. As his eyes fluttered open, he saw he was facing a wall. He looked down, lifting the duvet to see he was only in his boxers. He blushed as he saw Luke's arm around his naked lower waist.

He'd never seen Luke's hands before and they were slightly small considering his height. Ashton turned around from under Luke's arm and his breath hitched as he saw Luke's face a little more than an inch away from his own.

God, he was beautiful.

His hair was so messy and his face was peaceful, lips parted as he released small breathes. His lips were plump and his eyelashes fluttered. He looked so childlike as he slept, his expression serene and he didn't think it was possible to be more in love.

His chest and shoulders were so broad he wanted to live in his arms forever but he couldn't.

He knew Luke was just trying to be nice after last night by letting him stay here but it wasn't right, not after what Luke did.

Ashton gently got out of bed, careful not to jostle him awake. He slid down the bed and got off as he gazed around the room. It was covered in band posters everywhere with some bands that he didn't even know.

There were some acoustic and electric guitars in the corner and the floor was scattered with clothes. He saw the bed on the other side of the room had 'MICHAEL' written above the bed in bold and all capitals amongst the posters.

He sighed, looking around for his clothes when he saw his duffle bag on the desk. He got out his container for his contact lenses before gently taking them out and replacing them with his glasses. He blinked in relief now that the discomfort was gone before digging through his bag again.

"Ashton?"

Ashton froze at the sound of Luke calling his name. He said it hesitantly, as though worried about what his reaction would be. He froze, unable to turn around with his hand still in his duffle bag.

He heard the bed creak and the padding of feet on the floor before two arms were slipping around his waist, pulling him into Luke's chest tightly. Ashton blushed as they were both shirtless, shivering at the contact of Luke's skin against his own.

"God I've missed you," Luke sighed, burying his face in Ashton's hair and squeezing Ashton's waist gently. "I missed everything about you. I missed the way you smell, there's nothing in the world I could even compare it to. Your smell is uniquely Ashton and I can't get enough.

I've missed how soft your skin is and the way it feels to run my fingers over it. I've missed your hair that smells like your apple shampoo and is so wavy and absolutely perfect. I've missed your voice and the way it sounds when you giggle.

I've missed the pink on your cheeks when you blush and the dimples in your cheeks. I've missed the way you lean into my touch and the way you seem to just fit with me like we're two puzzle pieces connecting.

I've missed you, Ashton Irwin," Luke whispered and Ashton could feel his breathing increasing and his heart racing with every word Luke spoke. It didn't make sense, none of it did. The words Luke last spoke to him when they were face-to-face rung through his mind and he was more confused than ever.

"I don't understand, Luke," Ashton sighed, so tired of being confused.

"Then let's talk. It's not too late and we have the entire day free. Let's go out and lay everything out in the open. There's a lot I need to tell you," Luke murmured softly, his mouth pressing a soft kiss to Ashton's head.

"O-okay," Ashton stuttered out as Luke's hands began to softly run over his naked torso. He blushed furiously, feeling so exposed as Luke's calloused hands touched him so softly, almost featherlike.

"Can you turn around, baby?" Luke whispered in Ashton's ear, his breath tingling the shell of his ear making him squirm and Luke chuckle in response.

Ashton knew why he wanted him to turn around. They weren't bonded and Luke obviously knew by now that he'd gotten his sight back. He wanted their soulmate connection but Ashton didn't know if he wanted it, not now when he couldn't trust Luke.

It was inevitable though. There was no way he could make it through the entire day without looking Luke in the eyes once and maybe it was better that this happen in private.

Ashton took a deep breath and slowly turned around, keeping his head lowered as Luke's arms remained wrapped around him gently. He blushed as he came to face with Luke's chest, biting his lip.

"I love when you blush," Luke whispered as his finger brushing Ashton's cheek, making him blush a darker red. "Please look at me, baby," he whispered, so softly he almost didn't hear.

Ashton pulled away from Luke, walking away with his eyes still downcast. He walked so that there was more distance between them with his back to Luke. He needed to breathe.

"This doesn't change anything, Luke. Even when we connect it wont change anything," Ashton said, trying to sound firm but his voice came out shaky.

"I know, which is why I wanted to talk to. Please, Ash," Luke pleaded, vulnerability seeping into his voice. Ashton took a deep breath before lifting his head up and turning to face Luke.

The first thing he was met with was cerulean eyes that were so blue it hurt, so breathtaking there were no words to describe. The next thing he felt was like his skin was on fire, but in the best possible way. It was like every nerve ending in his body was tingling. He felt exposed and vulnerable, as though Luke could see every part; like Luke could see his soul.

His mind felt fuzzy and muddled, as though he couldn't think and he felt light, like he was floating. There was nothing else around him beside Luke. His entire life centered around him in that moment and Luke was suddenly like the gravity that held him down.

It was when Luke's emotions suddenly came back that it hurt. He was hit with so many emotions, like everything he felt since he stopped being able to feel Luke bombarded him at once. He felt anger, hurt, betrayal, confusion, guilt, self-loathing, distress, sadness, depression and realisation and it was too much and all at once.

He groaned at the feeling as he felt his knees buckle and he collapsed down, clutching his head and trying to rid the overwhelming emotions that physically hurt, that were too much. Luke rushed forward, kneeling down and pulling Ashton into his arms.

"Are you okay? Ash, talk to me!" Ashton just groaned, eyes clenched tightly shut as his head pounded and so many emotions that were so strong coursed through him.

"It hurts," Ashton gritted out, jaw clenched.

"What? Why?" Luke panicked, hugging Ashton tighter and making his heart race. Luke suddenly lifted Ashton up, making him let out a very unmanly squeak before placing him gently on the bed.

His eyes were still closed, hoping these emotions would just pass. He couldn't take it, not all at once and not like this.

He felt Luke's hand brushing his wavy fringe to the side and stroking his cheek and he winced as he opened his eyes, looking into Luke's eyes and worried expression.

Suddenly, it was like the moment the storm clears. Everything negative was replaced by a feeling of pure and raw love, so deep and unconditional it made his breath hitch and his heart race.

"Your eyes... they're so fucking beautiful," Luke whispered, seeming entranced.

He watched the way Luke bit his lip ring, tugging it gently as his gaze flickered to Ashton's lips. Slowly, he began to lean forward but just before his eyes could close and his lips could press against Ashton's, he stopped him. 

His hands pressed against Luke's chest, keeping him from coming closer as Luke's eyes flickered with confusion.

"S-stop, Luke. You- you cheated on me and suddenly you're acting like it's just okay! I don't- I can't trust you!" Ashton said, voice torn but as firm as he could manage. He pushed Luke away gently before getting off the bed, spotting his clothes from yesterday on the floor.

He picked them up and shoved them in his duffle bag as he pulled out his clothes for today.

"Ashton, wait-"

"I'm going to take a shower," Ashton said, avoiding Luke's gaze and how upset he was feeling as he walked out the dorm with his toiletries and clothes. He pulled the door open before freezing, realising he didn't know where the dorm bathrooms were from here.

"Just let me show you the way," Luke sighed and Ashton blushed because his plan to storm out didn't go too well. He turned around to see Luke grab some clothes, toiletries and a towel from his cupboard before closing the dorm door and walking past Ashton down the corridor in long strides.

Ashton hurriedly tried to keep up with his long strides, using his clothes he was holding to try cover his torso as he wasn't wearing a shirt. The corridor was surprisingly empty, however, and he was grateful for that.

He knew Luke felt upset but did he honestly think he'd just allow Luke to kiss him? Did he honestly think he'd just forgive and forget that Luke cheated on him? It wasn't that simple.

Ashton followed Luke into the bathroom hesitantly, walking cautiously as he remembered the time he slipped on the floor. It wasn't fun and he didn't want a repeat.

Luke shoved his clothes on top of one of the closed toilets in a cubical. He angrily grabbed a towel and walked towards a shower stall.

"Why are you angry with me?" Ashton huffed angrily, stomping his foot as he placed a hand on his hip.

"Did you just stomp your foot?" Luke asked, looking at Ashton with a hint of amusement and making him blush.

"No," Ashton huffed, avoiding his gaze as he went to another toilet cubical and placing his clothes on the closed toilet seat. He heard Luke laugh at him and he groaned angrily before hastily removing his glasses and grabbing his toiletries, rushing into an empty shower.

He heard Luke take a shower two down from him and he sighed, beginning to wash his hair and body quickly, wincing at the cut on his head.

When Ashton was finally done, his eyes widened as he realised he didn't bring a towel and his clothes and were further away. His boxers, which he'd taken off and placed on the floor, were now covered in dirty shower water. Yeah, he didn't think that through. He heard Luke still in the shower and knew there was only one thing he could do.

He blushed furiously as he peered out the shower curtain, looking for anyone but sighing in relief when he realised him and Luke were the only ones here.

Ashton quickly tried to make his way towards where his clothes were but the floor was so slippery he had to stop and steady himself just before he fell. Suddenly, he heard the water in Luke's shower stop and the curtain rip open.

Ashton froze, quickly moving his hands to cover himself, too afraid to look behind him to see Luke's reaction. He closed his eyes, wondering why everything always happened to him. His cheeks felt like they were burning, knowing Luke had a clear view of his ass on display and he just wanted someone to come and kill him right about now.

He almost felt like he wanted to cry with how embarrassed he was when he heard Luke chuckling. He didn't know whether to run to the toilets which were further away or quickly go back into his shower.

He didn't put much thought into it as he turned around as fast as he possibly could with his eyes downcast, his hands still covering himself, and running towards his shower. He barely took two steps before crashing into a wet chest.

He squeaked as he almost fell backwards but Luke's arms quickly reached out to steady him at the same time that Ashton grabbed onto Luke's arms.

Ashton gulped as he looked down to see himself pressed up against Luke's toweled waist. His gaze slowly went higher until he was met with Luke's smirk and amused eyes. He blushed darker, if possible, and whined as he shakily reached down to cover himself.

Luke laughed again and Ashton felt his eyes welling up with tears. He wasn't trying to be a baby about it but he just felt so humiliated he wanted to curl into a ball and die or bash his head on the tiled wall. Either one at this point.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Ash! I wasn't laughing at you, just the situation. I'm sorry, please don't cry!" Luke hurried out, amusement in his voice gone. Ashton just shrugged, looking back towards where his clothes were longingly. He just wanted to get dressed, was that too much to ask for?

"Here," Luke said before ripping the towel from around his waist suddenly and handing it to Ashton. Ashton blushed and closed his eyes before he could see anything of Luke's. He didn't know how he was supposed to grab the towel because in order to do that he'd need to remove his hands from the area they were covering.

"Look at my eyes, Ash," Luke said and Ashton opened his eyes, strictly holding Luke's gaze. "I'm closing my eyes while you put the towel around yourself. I promise not to look, even though I already saw everything," he said, biting his lip to hold in a laugh. Ashton shot him a glare before Luke closed his eyes.

Ashton made sure they were completely closed before quickly grabbing the towel from Luke's hand, making sure his eyes were still on Luke's face so he wouldn't see anything of Luke's, before wrapping the towel around his own waist. He sighed in relief before telling Luke he could open his eyes again.

"Thank you, Luke," Ashton whispered before turning around and trying to hurriedly make his way to his own clothes without falling on the wet floor.

It seemed like forever when he finally emerged from the bathroom cubical, fully clothed with his glasses on. Luke was already done, leaning against a wall on the side looking so beautiful it should probably be illegal with his slightly wet hair.

"Here," Ashton murmured, handing Luke his towel and trying to avoid his gaze because he'd probably never be able to look him in the eyes again.

He went to the bathroom sink and hurriedly brushed his teeth while Luke waited. He then went to brush his hair, his fringe curly and wet against his forehead but otherwise not the worst it's looked. Although he probably wouldn't know what the worst it's looked was considering he hadn't seen his hair for nine years.

He examined the cut on his forehead and noticed, to his relief, that it really wasn't all too bad. At least he didn't need stitches.

He looked closely at his eyes in the mirror, sighing in relief when he noticed they weren't irritated. It wasn't good that he slept with his contact lenses on and without his eye pads on last night. He hoped it wouldn't be too much of problem. He could slightly see the black string from the stitches but otherwise it wasn't too noticeable. He'd only be able to take them out in a year's time so he might as well get used to it for now.

He sighed as he pulled his glasses off before taking out his eye drops and adding a drop in each eye. He winced, hating the feeling as he blinked repeatedly.

When he was finally done, he turned around to face Luke to see him watching him intently, his face somewhat blank.

"Are we going now?" Ashton asked nervously when Luke just continued to stare.

"Yeah. Lunch sound good to you?" Luke asked, seeming to snap out of his reverie as he walked towards the bathroom door, opening it for Ashton to walk out first.

"Okay," Ashton nodded, walking beside Luke back to his dorm and trying so very hard not to look at him.

***

Ashton knew now wasn't the time to be awkward. Him and Luke had a lot to talk about, but as they sat there opposite each other he couldn't bring himself to look at him. Maybe it might not seem like a big deal to others that Luke saw him naked, but it was to him.

Ashton busied himself by looking at the menu in the pizza place they were at and smiling when he saw caramelised onion pizza. Not many places had that pizza, so when he came across a place that did he always got it. He briefly wondered if this was the place Luke had taken them for their date once. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

When the waitress finally came, Ashton almost sighed in relief. The mounting tension could be cut with a knife and he wondered if the waitress had sensed it. When he looked up at the waitress who appeared to be quite young, his heart sunk at the way she was looking at Luke. Luke seemed oblivious, happily taking a swing of his beer and looking through the menu.

He looked up curiously at Ashton when Ashton felt his heart pang. He wondered how many times people had eyed Luke or flirted with him in front of Ashton when he was blind. He wondered how many times, right in front of Ashton, Luke had probably returned a flirty smile or winked.

"Are you ready to order?" She asked, only looking at Luke like Ashton didn't exist and Ashton lowered his gaze, fiddling with the torn edge of the menu and trying to ignore the feeling in his chest.

"Ashton, baby, you want to order first?" Luke asked, grabbed Ashton's hand pointedly and shooting the waitress a glare. She didn't see, however, as she was too busy looking at their intertwined hands. She put on a sickly fake smile before turning to Ashton.

"Your order?" She asked.

"Caramelised onion pizza with extra cheese," Ashton murmured, avoiding her hostile gaze and adjusting his glasses.

"I'll have the sweet chili chicken pizza," Luke said without looking at her.

"Oh, that's my favourite pizza," she said excitedly and Ashton looked at her in disbelief, scoffing as he pulled his hand away from Luke and folded his arms. The waitress shot Luke a smile and Ashton one more hostile glare before walking off.

"Okay, so do you want to start or should I?" Luke asked, biting his lip ring. Ashton just shrugged.

"Well, first I'd like to say that if this is ever going to work, we need to be one hundred percent honest with each other. No secrets," he said. Ashton nodded again, remembering that Dr. Tomlinson had told him that before.

"Okay so-"

"Why would you think I cheated on you?" Ashton blurted out, having wanted to ask this question for a long time. He wanted to know everything. He wanted to know what he did wrong.

"You were avoiding me and you always felt guilty. I didn't know what was happening with you and that Brandon dude because at first it seemed like you hated him and then you two were hanging out. I mean, you went on a date with the dude. Arzaylea told me she saw you two having dinner together before the party and then you came late and brought him with.

I was angry but I didn't really think you'd ever cheat on me until I saw you two kissing at the party," Luke finished, hurt lacing his voice. Ashton watched as Luke clenched his fist that was resting on the table and wondered if it was a nervous or upset habit.

"When I was ten," Ashton started, taking in a deep breath and trying to calm himself, "I had two friends, Brandon and Rick. They weren't really friends of mine, they just thought they owned me because I was being bullied when Michael left and they helped me out. Brandon wasn't too bad but Rick was the worst.

They were two years older than me and I really looked up to them; thought I was lucky to have friends like them. So when the fire alarm at school went off and everyone evacuated to the field, I trusted them when the three of us snuck off to find the fire.

Once we'd found the door that had smoke coming out from underneath it, we knew the fire was real. Rick then dared me to go into the room and stay there for a bit until they opened it again. He said I should trust him because we were friends and that it'd be fine," Ashton said, voice strained as Luke looked at him with a pained expression.

"I was about to go in but Brandon said it was a bad idea and I knew it was, so I told Rick I didn't want to. I hardly expected him to open the door and shove me inside." Ashton could feel his eyes welling with tears. He hated talking about this but he needed to say it. One hundred percent honesty.

"The fire was really bad and I tried to get out but the door was jammed. Brandon told me that Rick had run off when the door wouldn't open but Brandon stayed to try and help me.

Just when I heard the fire fighters outside, my leg got hurt and I- I don't know what happened but something went in my eyes when the wood crackled." Ashton took a deep breath, avoiding Luke's intense gaze.

"That's when I lost my sight. After that, I told people what happened and that Rick shoved me into the room. I thought at least Rick would get punished for what he did until Brandon told everyone that I lied. He made my life hell because everyone hated me. He told them that I'd almost got the two of them killed and that everything was my idea.

People told me I got what was coming to me and- it was horrible," Ashton said, his eyes blurry with tears.

"When I heard Brandon again when we were together at the park that day, I still hated him more than anyone because he made everything worse for me after I lost my sight. I- I didn't want to tell you because I guess it is kind of my fault this happened to me and I was afraid to hear you tell me what so many people had told me before. I was afraid you'd hate me or something."

"Ashton, I could never hate you, especially for something that wasn't your fault. It was Rick and Brandon, not you. Why would I hate you for that?" Luke asked, grabbing his hand back.

"That's what Dr. Tomlinson told me you'd say," Ashton noted, looking at Luke's hand holding his.

"Who's that?"

"My therapist," Ashton said, hoping Luke wouldn't judge him. He looked up when Luke didn't respond and was surprised to see the pride in his blue eyes.

Just then the waitress brought over their pizza. They had to separate their hands as she put their plates down and she looked pleased at this. He was glad, however, when she left after simply telling them to enjoy their meals.

"So Brandon called me and told me he wanted a chance to explain why he did what he did. We went out to eat where he told me he was blackmailed by Rick into saying that. It's a long story but I decided to forgive him because I just wanted to move on.

I wanted to know his story before I told you anything because I needed to figure things out for myself first. It was after I first heard from Brandon again that my mom called me and told me there was a chance I could get my sight back."  Luke's head shot up, confusion and hurt etched into his face and felt through the bond.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, putting the slice of pizza he'd just picked up back down.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up just to feel you disappointed again. I hate when you're disappointed in me," Ashton whispered before taking a bite of pizza.

"I'd never be disappointed in you, Ash. It would hardly be your fault if your eyesight never came back. I wish you'd let me be there for you," Luke frowned.

"I- I wanted to tell you but I couldn't until I knew for sure so I started avoiding you and I felt to guilty about it. I knew you were getting angry about it though so I promised to tell you everything soon."

"What about the kiss then?" Luke asked, brows furrowed as his eyes scanned Ashton's face.

"I never kissed Brandon, Luke. After you called me, after- after I left I thought about it a lot. Someone kissed me at the party and I was drunk enough to think it was you. They never said anything and it's not like I could see so I just assumed. It felt wrong though so I pulled away." Ashton felt violated just at the thought of Brandon kissing him without his consent when he couldn't see.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry he kissed you and I'm sorry I'm the worst fucking person on the planet," Luke sighed, hating himself.

"Your turn," Ashton whispered, not sure he wanted to hear what Luke was going to say but knowing that he need to.

"Okay," Luke sighed, looking like he didn't want to talk either. "I never cheated on you."

"What?" Ashton asked, confused and doubtful. If he was being honest, he didn't believe him.

"Well I mean, not really," he said but Ashton shot him a glare and he elaborated. "When I figured that you were cheating on me I was so angry that I kissed Arzaylea," he said, shame clouding his voice as he looked down.

"We didn't do anything else because it just felt so wrong, but when I confronted you I was so angry with you that I said horrible things and I- I lied about it because I felt so vulnerable and I wanted you to know what you did didn't effect me, even though it did so much," Luke said, biting his lip guiltily.

"You- you lied?" Ashton asked, not even knowing what he felt or how he was supposed to feel.

"Yeah. I tried to tell you when I called you that time but you hung up. I kept trying to call but you never picked up again. Calum told me earlier this morning after we picked you up that it was because your phone broke."

"You lied," Ashton whispered again, staring at Luke who was frowning as he nodded slightly.

"Yeah I did and I'm so sorr-"

"Stop- just stop," Ashton said lowly, realising just how angry he was with Luke as he placed the slice of pizza he'd been holding back down.

"Ash-"

"No just- you- I can't even believe you did that," Ashton said lowly, his voice shaking. "You know I have difficulty trusting people, you know how hard it is for me to let people in and you used that against me. You used my insecurities to hurt me just because you assumed I cheated on you. I- I can't believe you," Ashton whispered, his voice breaking as his eyes filled with tears.

He could feel Luke's guilt and worry, could see it in his face too as his eyes widened.

"Ash-"

"I couldn't even feel you anymore- your emotions. You- you almost ruined it- our bound you..." Ashton stuttered out, not even able to form a coherent sentence as Luke bit his lip, looking confused and almost helpless.

Ashton felt so conflicted, so completely confused because at first he'd been so relieved that Luke never cheated but then he realised that Luke used his insecurities to hurt him to the point where their soulmate bond was damaged, almost broken.

He knew Ashton himself was broken, he knew he barely trusted and was insecure. He knew what his fears were and he used it against him just because he was angry. He didn't confront Ashton about it or talk it out and maybe he was being hypocritical because he had a habit or jumping to conclusions too, but not to the point where he'd purposely hurt Luke.

Ashton stood up shakily, his eyes filled with tears he was trying to contain. He wiped his hand on a napkin before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out some notes and threw them on the table, not even caring how much he was paying for the pizza.

Luke was looking up at him, pleadingly, but Ashton just shook his head. He needed time to think and he couldn't do that with Luke. He wouldn't do anything stupid like steal Louis' car and try drive away either, but he needed alone time.

"Don't follow me,Luke," Ashton said before turning around and leaving Luke sitting there with a broken and guilty expression on his face.

***

Seriously though, Ashton could've at least taken a slice of pizza with him smh. Imagine leaving an entire pizza behind? The nerve of him...

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