Array
(
[text] =>

**Ashton's appearance and outfit for the music event**

Dedication: To everyone who's read/voted/commented at any point. It all means a lot to me so thanks for taking the time out of your lives to read!

Don't forget to point out any errors.

Vote and/or comment if you enjoy! Hope you do. :) - Vanessa

***

Previously:

Ashton bit his lip harshly as he looked out the window. The parking lot was extremely busy and he was surprised Louis had found a parking spot so quickly.

He felt like he would cry at any moment just knowing that him and Luke had first met in this very parking lot.

Luke was here right now. Despite everything, a masochistic part of him hoped he'd see him, just once. 

***

"Louis, I can't do this," Ashton panicked after explaining to Louis why this was a very bad idea. He nervously adjusted the strap of his duffle bag on his shoulder as he got out of the car, closing the door behind him gently.

"Calm down, Ash," he said, not offering any other reassurances. Ashton shot him a glare as he noticed his unfazed expression. He adjusted his snapback as he scanned the people around nervously, expecting to see him at any moment.

Louis walked beside him as they made their way to the field where they would be camping. He'd never been camping but when they reached the field, it didn't seem like a very good idea.

At the far end of the field was a relatively large stage. In front of the stage seemed to be hundreds of people setting up their tents. A part of him felt both disappointed and relieved that he probably wouldn't come across Luke with the crowd this large.

He couldn't help but feel like he'd never been here before. Despite all the time he'd spent here at the University and everything that had happened, it seemed like so long ago. Maybe it was because this was the first time he was actually seeing it here and he was surprised by how big the campus was.

"Come on, Ash. We need to pick a good spot." Louis grabbed onto his wrist and dragged him towards the crowd. He hated crowds but at least this time he could see.

It wasn't long before they found a spot which wasn't too close to the stage, but not too far either. Louis dropped his bags on the floor and began to pull out the tent from one of his three bags. Ashton stood there staring at him, not knowing where to begin helping. Louis stood up and thrust the instruction in Ashton's hand.

"You read the instructions and I'll set up the tent, yeah?" Ashton nodded quickly. He could do that.

What seemed like hours later, they were finally done and Louis looked like he was about to collapse with exhaustion. Apparently, they were terrible at setting up tents because the people who had started at the same time as them had finished ages ago.

The tent wasn't huge but was big enough for the two of them. Louis pulled out blankets from his second bag and some pillows before just throwing them all through the tent opening, too lazy to sort it out properly. Ashton bent down and placed his duffle bag with his clothes into the tent along with Louis'.

"Finally!" Louis screamed, making the people around them turn and laugh. Ashton blushed at all the people that turned to look in their direction.

"Do you know what we need?" Louis asked enthusiastically. "A beer," he answered before Ashton could think. "You in?"

"Uh, yeah okay," Ashton agreed hesitantly, watching as Louis bent his back and winced when he heard his joints pop. He hated when people did that.

"Right, so can you please take these two bags back to the car while I get the beers? We can meet back here," he asked and Ashton nodded, bending down to pick up the bags that had previously kept the tent, blankets and pillows.

He made sure he had his phone with him before he headed back in the direction of the car. He frowned, noticing how much more people had come since they'd been putting up the tent.

Ashton sighed in relief when he finally made it to the car, opening the boot and placing the bags in the back. He unlocked his phone and looked at the time, noticing it was the afternoon. The music would start in the evening so there was still time.

Ashton had just locked the car when he heard his phone ring. He frowned in confusion and pulled it out, noticing Louis' name.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Guess what?" He screamed, making Ashton flinched as he pulled the phone away from his ear slightly.

"Uh, what?" He asked, brushing his fringe from his eyes slightly.

"I found my soulmate!" He screamed again and Ashton's eyes widened comically.

"Really?" Ashton asked, surprised.

"Yeah! I was just waiting in the line to get our beers and he was behind me! I'll meet you at the tent later okay? He wants to get to know me a bit better so I'll meet you when the music starts at seven, yeah?"

"Okay then," Ashton said before Louis hung up. He pouted slightly, not knowing what he was supposed to do now that he was practically alone at this thing. Of course, he didn't blame Louis for wanting to get to know his soulmate just the two of them, after just meeting. Maybe he even felt a little bit jealous that Louis had a soulmate.

Of course he had a soulmate too, but not really.

Like the true loner Ashton is, he decided to just go back to the tent and maybe chill inside until seven came. He would probably just go on his phone and play games, probably Two Dots since he's addicted.

Ashton sighed as he walked out of the car park and back towards the field. His face was pinched in annoyance as he made his way back through the crowd which seemed to keep getting bigger. He weaved his way through but soon stopped when he realised he didn't know where the tent was exactly.

There were so many people and his surroundings seemed to constantly be changing with the amount of new people coming that everything seemed different.

He frowned as the scanned his surroundings, looking for anything familiar until he locked eyes with wide brown eyes. The person wasn't too far away and was looking at him like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Ashton looked around to make sure it was him he was actually looking at but no one else seemed to notice. He looked back at the person and noticed them making their way towards him.

He was tall, slightly taller than Ashton, and had dark, almost black hair, with a fringe that had blonde highlights. His skin was tan and his face was round and full with plump lips. His shirt showed off the few tattoos that littered his arms and he grunted as he made his way to Ashton.

Ashton gulped nervously, hoping he didn't accidently offend this person some how and they were coming to beat him up or something. Maybe he should run?

Before he could put much thought into running away from the person, he was standing in front of him. Ashton looked up slightly to meet his wide and shocked gaze before looking away. He licked his lips nervously, wondering why this person was looking at him like this.

"C-can I help you?" Ashton asked timidly, looking at his converse clad feet scraping the grass.

Ashton flinched when the guy's index finger went under his chin and lifted his head up so that their gazes were locked.

"You can see me," he finally whispered and Ashton's eyes widened when he recognized the voice.

"Calum?" Ashton squeaked. A small smile came onto Calum's face before he brought Ashton into a crushing embrace. A small 'oomph' escaped his lips as he was smashed into Calum's chest.

Calum pulled away after a bit before grabbing Ashton's wrist gently and dragging him further in the crowd.

"You're coming to my tent. You have a lot of explaining to do," he said as he continued walking forward.

After struggling through the dense crowd, they finally made it to Calum's tent which was practically right in front of the stage. He knelt down and unzipped his tent before going in. Ashton hesitantly followed after taking his converses off and leaving them outside. The tent was much like his and Louis' except there were two sleeping bags instead of blankets and was perhaps a little bigger. There were also a lot more pillows and a small battery powered fan in the corner which he was grateful for because it was stuffy in here.

Calum crawled to the entrance and zipped it shut before sitting cross legged in front of Ashton.

"Can you really see?" He asked, staring Ashton intently in the eyes and making him uncomfortable.

"Yeah," Ashton nodded, nibbling on his bottom lip.

"Since when?"

"Uh, I think a little more than a month ago."

"More then month ago! So basically when you left?" Ashton was surprised at the slight hint of venom in Calum's voice.

"Cal-"

"You just left, Ashton. You left Luke and I don't know what happened but Luke's been a mess since and you don't even seem to care. You didn't tell anyone you were leaving and you've been ignoring everyone's calls.

So what? You get your sight back and you're suddenly too good for everyone? For Luke?" He said, voice angry and Ashton could feel his eyes fill with tears that threatened to spill over.

"You'd better explain," Calum demanded. Calum had never spoken to him like this before but he should've expected it. Of course they'd hate him.

Before Ashton could think of a response, he burst out crying. He buried his face in his hands as his body wracked with sobs. If Calum hated him then everyone did. Michael, Harry and Luke. Everyone hated him.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I didn't mean that," Calum said softly as he pulled Ashton's hunched over form into his chest. He rested his chin on Ashton's head after gently removing his snapback. Ashton buried his face into Calum's chest as he cried.

"P-please d-don't ha-hate m-me," Ashton cried.

"I don't hate you, Ashton. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Calum whispered as he carded his fingers through Ashton's hair.

"Will you tell me what happened?" He asked softly when Ashton had calmed down. Ashton nodded before pulled away from Calum and rubbing the tears from his cheeks. Calum looked at him, a confused and sorry look on his face.

So Ashton told him. He told him how Luke thought he'd cheated and in return had told Ashton that it didn't matter because he, himself, had cheated with Arzaylea. He told him the horrible things Luke told him when they fought and that's why he'd left.

He told him about Brad and keeping his meeting with Dr. Matthews a secret so that he wouldn't get Luke's hopes up just to crush him but how in the end it didn't matter because Ashton left because Luke didn't care.

He told him about Luke's phone call and about throwing his phone, breaking it and leaving him unable to call anyone. He told him about getting his sight back and about seeing a therapist and learning things over and coming here with Louis.

The entire time he spoke, Calum was quiet. Ashton's head was bowed as he fiddled with the hole in one of his socks. He couldn't bring himself to look at Calum the entire time he was talking but now that he was done, he lifted his head slowly to gauge his reaction.

Calum seemed shocked and confused, almost like he was unable to comprehend what Ashton was saying.

"Luke cheated?" He asked and Ashton just nodded forlornly.

"Ash, I know you probably don't want to hear this but I really don't think Luke would've cheated. He fucking loves you so much I just can't see him doing that. He fucks up a lot, but he wouldn't fuck up to that extent."

"He told me, Calum."

"Look, I'm sure if you focus on his emotions you'll know. I just don't think he'd do that," he said confidently, biting his plump bottom lip in contemplation.

"I can't," Ashton sighed. "I can't feel Luke's emotions anymore," Ashton mumbled and Calum gasped.

"What- what...?" Calum stuttered, seeming incapable of speaking or gathering a coherent thought.

"After Luke told me he cheated- after I left- I stopped being able to feel his emotions."

"I- Is that even possible?" He asked and Ashton just nodded, not knowing how else to explain. "Is he still your soulmate?"

"Of course. He'll never stop being my soulmate, Cal. That's not possible," Ashton said, chuckling weakly.

Calum nodded, brows furrowed in contemplation before glancing at his watch.

"Shit, it's almost seven. The performances should be starting soon," Calum said before unzipping the tent. He crawled out and Ashton followed suit, tying his shoes on once he'd gotten out. He left his snapback in the tent, opting to get it later because it was annoying him even if the alternative was walking around with crazy hair.

Ashton looked up to see the sky darkening and the lights on the stage turned on. They were beautiful colours, bright as they waited for the performers. There were also instruments set up for the performers as well as microphones making it clear that it would be starting soon.

"Where's Michael?" Ashton asked as they stood by their tents along with everyone else.

"He performing," Calum said. And Ashton noticed how his eyes lit up and a fond smile tugged on his lips when he mentioned his name, never being able to pick up on that before.

Ashton just nodded, turning back to face the stage when he heard his phone ring.

"Hello?" He answered when he noticed Louis' name.

"Hey, Ash. Where are you? I'm by our tent but you aren't here," he asked.

"Oh, I'm with a friend at his tent," Ashton said, wondering if Louis wanted him to come back. It was probably rude to just leave him there though. "I'll come there now."

"Don't worry. I'll come to you, yeah? Where are you?" He asked and Ashton described where him and Calum were. He said they'd be there in five minutes and Ashton knew Louis was bringing his soulmate too. He didn't mind of course, he just didn't like meeting new people but if they were important to Louis he'd make an exception.

"That was the guy you came here with?" Calum asked once he'd hung up.

"Yeah, he's coming here. You don't mind, do you?" Ashton asked nervously, realising how rude it was to invite someone over without asking Calum first considering it was his tent.

"No, it's okay," Calum assured, smiling. Ashton smiled back before flickering his gaze back on stage.

It wasn't long before Louis' loud and slightly high-pitched voice could be heard, telling people to move the hell out of his way. He saw a couple of people moving aside as Louis stepped through together with a taller guy. He had dark brown, slightly curly hair styled into a quiff. He was wearing a white faded The Rolling Stones shirt and black skinnies with brown boots.

As he came closer Ashton couldn't help but notice how attractive he was with his lean and tall build. His eyes were green and his lips were a prominent pink as he made his way towards them.

Him and Louis were both holding beers as they approached and he seemed to be trying immensely hard not to spill his drink over, not having looked up at Ashton and Calum yet.

"Hey, Ash. This your friend?" He asked, looking at Calum with a smile. Calum nodded and extended his hand out.

"I'm Calum."

"Louis," he responded. Louis turned around to introduce his soulmate when everyone noticed him staring at Ashton with wide eyes.

"Ashton?" He asked and Ashton's eyes widened in response. He recognized his deep voice and the way he seemed to drawl out his words.

"Harry?" Ashton asked although he already knew it was him. Harry hastily gave Louis his beer before pulling Ashton into a tight hug.

"You never called me back," he said and Ashton nodded guiltily.

"My phone broke. I would've called you, I promise Harry," Ashton assured as they pulled away. Harry's eyes widened even more if possible when their gazes interlocked again.

"Hold on, you can see?" He practically yelled out and Louis placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down, love. You two know each other?" He chuckled.

"Yeah, they're friends. They had some lectures together," Calum interjected and Ashton nodded in affirmation.

Before anyone else could speak, the crowd started screaming as a girl made her way on stage. Ashton couldn't hear much about what she was saying, nor did he really care because all he could suddenly think about was Luke.

Luke who might be preforming. Luke who he'd probably be seeing on stage.

If Michael was performing, surely Luke was too?

He didn't know how to feel about the fact that he'd see Luke but Luke wouldn't see him, maybe it was for the best. He couldn't help the tears that pooled in his eyes though and the lump in his throat as he thought about him. He missed him so much it physically hurt. He wanted to run away as fast as he could, he wanted to leave but he didn't know where he'd go.

He flinched a little in surprise when the music started, looking up to see band on stage. He didn't see them get on but at this point he didn't really care. Every performance was awaited with bated breath as he expected Luke's name to be called out. He could vaguely hear Calum, Louis and Harry talking behind him but the only thing going through his head was LukeLukeLuke.

"Next up, we have our final performance for tonight. Performances will continue tomorrow night as well from seven onwards which will be the final night of the event.

So, without further ado, please put your hands together for Luke and Michael!" She screamed out and Ashton swore his heart almost stopped in his chest. His eyes were completely stuck to the stage, his lungs incapable of taking in a single breath as he waited for them to come on.

The first person to walk through had bright red hair and dark stubble across his jaw. His green eyes reflected an almost childish and excited nature and his full pink lips were stretched into a smile. He wore a red and black Ozzy Osbourne shirt that brought out the red in his hair and showed off the few tattoos on his arms.

The next person to walk on stage was probably the most beautiful person he'd ever seen in his entire life. Ashton's eyes filled with tears, one spilling over as he looked at Luke. His Luke. And he never once imagined in his entire life how absolutely breathtaking he was.

He was tall, so very tall, with broad shoulders that were showcased by a black tank top. His black skinnies made his long legs seem endless. His hair, blonde almost brown, lay against his forehead slightly to the side with a slight stubble on his jaw. He could see the light slightly reflect off his lip ring and make out a soft blue in his eyes, even from this distance.

"Hi everyone! I'm Luke and this is my friend Michael," he said in a voice Ashton knew so well and loved more than anything.

"Hi," Michael said in response, smiling childishly. Luke cracked a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, a hint of a dimple making an appearance.

"So, Michael's performance is actually tomorrow but I asked him to help me out with mine and he agreed," Luke said as he took a seat on one of the two stool in the center of the stage. Michael handed him a guitar before picking one up himself and sitting on the stool beside Luke.

"Um, so I wrote this one for the person I love. I know, that sounds so cliché of me to say but I love him and miss him so much it hurts. I fucked up, I fucked up so bad and I don't know if I can fix it but I hope more than anything that I can.

I hope that one day I'll get the chance to sing this to him in person, but for now I decided to perform it here. This song's called The Only Reason," he said and Ashton bit his lip so hard he was surprised he couldn't taste blood.

Luke bit his lip ring as he adjusted the microphone before beginning to strum the guitar chords expertly. He looked almost angelic when the lights changed to blue and white, looking soft as they shone over him.

Michael looked at Luke sadly, he too beginning to play beside him and Ashton didn't know how he was still alive when Luke started to sing. He'd heard him sing before, of course he had, but this time felt different.

"Don't talk, let me think it over

How we gonna fix this?

How we gonna undo all the pain?

Tell me, is it even worth it?

Looking through a straight line

Taking back the time we can't replace," Luke sang, his eyes focused on the guitar as he played and he'd never sounded more beautiful before. He seemed so vulnerable, slightly hunched over as he played.

Each lyric was like Luke was speaking directly to him and his heart ached for Luke so much. He barely registered the tears streaming down his face and the trembling of his bottom lip, only when a ragged sob escaped him that he tried to muffle with his hand.

"Bitter words spoken,

Everything broken

It's never too late to bring us back to life

When I close my eyes and try sleep

I fall apart, I'm fighting hard breathe

You're the reason, the only reason

Even though my dizzy head is numb,

I swear my heart is never giving up

You're the reason, the only reason."

Each line sang was more passionate and when Luke finally looked up, his cerulean eyes were glazed with tears. At this point, Ashton was crying so hard his shoulders shook with each shuddering breath and he loved Luke so much, more than he'd ever be able to describe but he didn't trust him, and that's what hurt the most.

"You're the reason, the only reason," Luke finished, strumming his guitar beside Michael as the song came to a close. The crowd erupted into cheers but Ashton couldn't do anything except cry.

"Ashton?" He heard Calum whisper, barely audible over the loud crowd as he placed a gentle hand over Ashton's shoulder.

Ashton's puffy and red eyes focused on the stage as he sobbed, watching Luke leave hastily as Michael watched him sadly. Michael stood up from the stool with a sad shake of his head when he suddenly turned to look exactly in their direction.

He smiled when he assumed he saw Calum, but considering Calum was standing directly behind Ashton with a comforting hand still on his shoulder, Michael's expression quickly changed to complete bewilderment. His mouth opened in an 'o' as he gazed at Ashton like he'd just seen a ghost, still on stage.

"Ashton?" Michael called out in the microphone, loud and clear as he looked Ashton in the eyes. People around him began to look to see what Michael was looking at, their gazes landing on him and he blushed because he was still crying, couldn't seem to stop, and so many people were staring.

Suddenly Luke came rushing out on stage, looking at Michael's shocked gaze in confusion before realization struck him. A hopeful yet almost panicked expression came over him as he tried to follow Michael's gaze.

It seemed Ashton finally snapped out of it because just before Luke's gaze could land on him, he turned around, almost bashing into Calum before running off as fast as he could through the crowd.

People grumbled in annoyance while some gave him sympathetic looks, as though perhaps they realised the song had been for him.

"Ashton!" He heard Luke's voice scream through the microphone but Ashton didn't look back, he just kept running as far away and as fast as he could.

Before Ashton realised where he was going, he found himself at the car park right by Louis' car. He felt in pockets and felt Louis' car keys still there from when he was returning the bags.

He unlocked the car quickly, going in to the driver's seat and nervously inserting the key. He closed the door and twisted the key with shaky hands, putting the car into reverse before backing out of the parking spot.

He knew he was being stupid, so very stupid but he couldn't think straight and he needed to get away. He knew how to drive well enough to get him away, just for a little while, even if he didn't have his license. 

Ashton drove out of the University as fast as he could. As he drove further and further away, he realised that good things never happened to him when he tried to escape things. He briefly thought back to when he'd first met Luke and how he'd run off.

Nothing good ever came from running away, especially when it was dark out and he was using a car he'd stolen from his friend when he didn't have a license.

Maybe he should've thought this through a little more carefully.

[text_hash] => d1247aec
)