Array
(
[text] =>

This story is dedicated to @xbrigadex for commenting on my previous chapter and for being happy for an update! Hope you're enjoying the story! :)

Sorry it's been a while. I was having a bit of a writers block and just felt uninspired I guess.

I tried to make this chapter a little bit longer because I'm finishing school FOREVER in over a month and therefore have finals. I start finals on the 26 of October and they end on the 26 of November. I don't know when updates will come but I'm pretty sure I will update, even if it does take a little more time. Every time I procrastinate I'll be sure to write!

I hate this chapter to be honest and I don't know why. I just think it's absolute crap. Hopefully you guys will stick around despite the awful chapter because it means a lot to me when people read my story.

So, if you're feeling generous please comment and/or vote. I honestly can't express how much it means to me!

If you notice any spelling or grammatical errors, don't forget to let me know so I can fix them!

Sorry for the long authors note. Hope you enjoy the crappy chapter though. :) - Vanessa

***

Ashton felt exhausted. He didn't know why considering he'd been sleeping a lot but he did and he hated it. He would be leaving the hospital tomorrow night despite insisting that he was fine and could leave now. They said they just wanted to make sure he was okay and Luke agreed. In the end Ashton had no choice but he hated hospitals. He hated everything about them.

A hospital was where he realised he would never see again. A hospital was the place where he finally removed the bandage to complete darkness. He was trapped in his mind, consumed with his darkest fears and demons. The only thing he could see on repeat was the raging fire and the way Rick's face contorted into a smirk as he pushed him into the room. He could still hear his parents sobbing, thinking he couldn't hear but he could and he hated that.

Ashton knew Luke was curious as to what happened. Luke now had a vague idea that Ashton was in an incident involving fire which was what had caused him to be blind but otherwise he knew nothing. He didn't know about Brandon or Rick. He didn't know that Rick claimed to be his friend but dared him to go into the room, ended up shoving him in there when he didn't want to, causing his entire world to collapse around him.

What made everything worse for Ashton, however, was what happened afterwards. Ashton was never one for hate but he hated Rick with every fibre of his being after the incident. He didn't know that he, a ten-year-old boy who'd spent his life radiating positivity, could become so bitter. He hardly recognised himself and the way he imagined Rick in that fire everyday in his place since.

Ashton didn't think it could get worse until he told his parents what happened. Of course his parents believed him, about Rick, about everything. They fully intended to take full action against just Rick because of course, Brandon had tried to help him but in the end Brandon was no better than Rick. In the end he realised you can't trust anyone. Everyone turns on you in the end because no one really cares.

He can still hear the way Brandon's voice trembled slightly as he told everyone that Ashton was lying. Rick never forced Ashton into the room. Ashton went on his own to prove a point. According to Brandon, Rick and him pleaded with Ashton not to, that it was too dangerous but he insisted, at first trying to force the two older guys to go but they refused. He's the one who sought out the fire and it was all his fault according to both Rick and Brandon.

His parents knew Brandon was lying and did everything they could to prove it but in the end, what could they do? No one believed Ashton, they all thought he sought sympathy. Everyone looked down on him and going to school was hell on Earth. Rick and Brandon left, never speaking to Ashton again and dropping off the face of the planet.

At first he was angry because he loathed them enough to personally want to torture them in every way possible. Then he was relieved because he'd never have to hear them again. Then he was depressed and upset because he wanted to know why. He wanted to know why Rick shoved him into that room. He wanted to know why Brandon didn't defend him after what Rick did, after what he knew Rick did.

They were his friends, they promised he could trust them, that they wouldn't let anything happen to him and he'd never been more foolish in his life for trusting them for a second. He confided so much in them, told them everything in the two short months he knew them because they'd helped him against being bullied and he believed them.

So maybe that's why Luke didn't know the full story because despite how much Ashton cared for Luke there was still the voice in his head, the voice of his ten-year-old self pleading with him not to tell Luke. Ashton's biggest fear was that Luke would believe Brandon and Rick, tell Ashton it was all his fault and he deserved what he got.

He could hear it, the taunting voices of his peers telling him he got what was coming to him and he wished every night for it to end. He couldn't handle the thought of Luke telling him that because he knew he would. He knew because it was Ashton's fault. At first he thought it wasn't, listened to his parents when they told him that this was all Rick and Brandon but it wasn't. He'd almost gone in, walked in of his own free will. He trusted Rick and Brandon and in doing that it was his fault. He got what he deserved because that's all he deserved.

He could almost hear Luke's voice telling him he was so stupid and naïve, so deserving of everything he got. He knew he wouldn't be able to hear that, would crumble into a million pieces incapable of being even a fraction of the person he used to be if Luke ever told him that, so he wouldn't tell Luke. Couldn't.

Ashton lay in the hospital bed, so completely consumed by his own thoughts that he didn't hear Harry, Michael and Calum walk in. Luke had left to get some rest after Ashton insisted because Luke had spent the night at the hospital. His parents were apparently on their way and Ashton didn't know how to feel about that. He was excited to see his family after a few weeks of not talking to them but he was a little embarrassed that they felt the need to drive all the way to Sydney.

"Ashy! Are you okay?" Michael called out, making Ashton jump and squeak out in fright because why was Michael always so loud?

"Michael!" Calum and Harry hushed him making Michael chuckle weakly.

"Sorry, Ash," he said apologetically. Ashton just nodded, bringing his hand to his chest and feeling his heart beating violently in his chest as he swallowed deeply, trying to even his breathing.

"I-It's okay," he mumbled.

"How are you feeling?" Calum asked, the bed dipping beside him as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to face the direction of Calum sitting beside him.

"I'm okay now, really. They wont let me leave yet though and it's so annoying," Ashton pouted, earning a chuckle from the three other people in the room.

"What happened, Ashton? I was so worried about you at the restaurant," Harry said, voice laced with concern.

Ashton sighed because he didn't want to talk about it. He could barely talk about it to his soulmate, the person handpicked by the universe and destined to be with him, yet here Harry was asking him when he barley knew him. He knew he meant well and he in no way resented him for it, he just couldn't tell him.

"Harry-"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked," Harry said, sounding so apologetic that Ashton gave him a genuine smile despite the situation.

"It's okay, Harry," Ashton said and he heard Harry sigh in relief.

"Calum and I collected your work from the lecture you missed today," Michael said proudly and Ashton let out a breathy laugh, a little weak but he thanked them regardless because that was nice of them.

Despite how tired he was, he listened intently to Harry's story about how his friend, Zayn, found his soulmate. He sounded so happy for him and despite the story taking longer than it would take most because of how slow he talked, Michael, Calum and Ashton listened because there was something oddly captivating about his voice that no one could seem to put their finger on.

He then went on to complain about how when he went to Calum and Michael's room to tell them that Ashton was in hospital, he accidently walked in on them sleeping naked together after opening the door when they didn't answer it.

He dramatically exclaimed how he was scarred for life to which Ashton could hear grunting and the sound of hitting, no doubt Michael and Calum attacking Harry for exposing them like that. Ashton felt a little lightened just being around them. He liked to think of the three guys as his friends but he was also afraid to assume in case they didn't think so themselves. He was pretty sure Michael was his friend but he just couldn't be sure.

"Ashy baby!" A voiced called out, sounding close to tears and he'd recognise that voice anywhere.

He blushed as he heard his mom walking in, only hearing two sets of footsteps meaning it was just her and his dad, when he heard his dad shush her. He felt hands encase his face, placing a sloppy kiss to his forehead.

"Mom, stop," Ashton mumbled, embarrassed as he heard Michael, Calum and Harry laughing in the back.

"We'll see you around, Ashy," Michael snickered, the other two saying their goodbyes before leaving him alone with his parents.

"Where are Lauren and Harry?" Ashton asked, frowning because he missed them.

"They're staying with your aunt, they couldn't miss school even if they really wanted to be here," she said, carding her fingers through his hair as his dad took a seat beside Ashton on the edge of the bed.

"Anne, you're suffocating him," his dad said, chuckling softly. He heard her sigh dramatically.

"How are you feeling?" His dad asked, evidently concerned.

"I'm fine," Ashton said for what felt like the millionth time since he entered this hospital. "I don't know why they wont let me leave, I hate it here," Ashton mumbled, pouting.

"They're just making sure, Ash," his mom assured. "I know you hate it here," she added and Ashton just nodded, glad she understood.

"I never want to get a call like that again, not after the first one," he heard his mom choke out, sounding close to tears and Ashton frowned, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"Come on, Anne. Ashton's fine. Our son is fine," he heard shuffling before he was pulled into a hug. He was confused at first until he realised his dad had pulled both him and his mom into a hug. He could hear his mom sniffling beside him as she wrapped an arm around him. His dad was in front of him, whispering comforting words to his family, one arm wrapped around Ashton and the other around Anne.

He sighed into their hold, feeling relieved because he was fine. At least as fine as he ever would be and he closed his eyes, resting his forehead on his dad's chest. He'd be okay. He'd be fine.

***

Ashton was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, already being discharged and waiting for Luke to pick him up. He was tired, not having slept last night due to nightmares. He hadn't had nightmares in a long time but it seemed the panic attack he had at the restaurant awoke the memories he'd spent years burying.

He heard a light tap on the door and turned his head up to face the direction of the voice.

"Hey baby," he heard Luke whisper as he walked into the room, voice coming closer. Ashton felt Luke gently grip his waist with one had, the other going to the side of his face as he planted a soft kiss to his forehead. Ashton settled into his touch, completely relaxed in Luke's arms.

"Ready to go?" Luke asked, helping Ashton stand on shaky legs.

"Yeah," Ashton mumbled, leaning a little against Luke because he felt so exhausted. Luke guided Ashton out of the room and through the hospital, his arm secure around Ashton's waist and making it easier to guide him and hold him close.

"You okay? You seem tired," Luke mumbled, his lips against Ashton's hair as he placed a gentle kiss there.

"Yeah, I just didn't sleep too well," he said, eyes drooping as he rested his head against Luke's shoulder.

"Nightmares?" Luke asked, his voice concerned as Ashton nodded.

"How did you know?"

"I recognised it," he said, arm tightening around Ashton but he just felt more confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You used to have them all the time, I recognise them, the way you feel when you have a nightmare." Ashton nodded slowly, processing what Luke was saying.

"Do you want to stay in my room tonight? I don't mind, I'd actually prefer it," Luke said, sounding hopeful that Ashton would agree.

"Uh, are- are you sure?" He asked timidly. It was already getting late, Ashton only getting discharged in the evening and having to spend the entire day in the hospital. He didn't feel like going back to his room and dealing with Brad right now but he also didn't want to annoy Luke.

"Yeah, baby. I'm sure," Luke whispered. Ashton didn't know why but he felt himself blush a little as he nodded, mumbling an agreement.

The car ride to Luke's dorm was quiet, Ashton being too tired and was fighting sleep the entire time. Luke's hand was resting on Ashton's knee softly, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb that had Ashton squirming every so often because he was ticklish. Luke would just chuckle fondly every time, not ceasing his movements.

Ashton sighed in relief when he felt the car pull over. He fumbled a bit for the door handle but before he could find it in his sleepy haze, Luke had gotten out of his side and opened the door for Ashton. He blushed a little at the gesture and thanked Luke.

Luke's arm resumed its position around Ashton's waist, making the shorter boy squirm ever so slightly because apparently he just had to be extremely ticklish.

The walk to Luke's dorm wasn't long and soon enough they stopped, the sound of a door unlocking heard. Luke guided Ashton inside and sat him down on the edge of the bed.

"Where's your roommate?" Ashton asked, not hearing anyone else in the room.

"Michael's my roommate and he's staying with Calum. Calum's roommate is never there so they almost always have the dorm to themselves. I think it's because he walked in on them fucking once," Luke said nonchalantly and Ashton's face blushed furiously red at Luke's blunt words.

It honestly surprised Ashton how much Luke seemed to swear but he hadn't said anything so bluntly- sexual yet and it came as a surprise even if it probably shouldn't.

"Oh," Ashton squeaked a response.

"Aw baby, did I embarrass you when I said Michael and Calum were fucking? They fuck like rabbits those two it's not really that big of a deal."

"Luke! S-stop," Ashton stuttered, placing his hands on his flaming cheeks to try cool them down as he lowered his eyes to his lap. Luke laughed loudly and Ashton blushed further if that was even possible at this point.

"You've never been with someone?" Luke asked once he stopped laughing, more curious now.

"Ah, n-no. I've never- you're the first person I've dated," Ashton said lamely, hating himself more for never having dated before. He thought Luke would've guessed honestly because he was pretty sure it was obvious.

"That's okay, Ash. There's nothing wrong with that," Luke said sincerely even though Ashton didn't believe him.

"You've been with other people?" He asked Luke, already guessing the answer. He wasn't assuming in a mean way but Luke just had a confidence about him and he did date Aleisha so it wasn't really assuming.

"Uh, yeah a few," Luke said, seeming uncomfortable.

"How many people have you dated?"

"Only about three," Luke said seeming relieved. Ashton narrowed his eyes.

"Um, how many- have you- how many have you... been with been with," Ashton stuttered out, embarrassed.

"Oh, uh... um I- a few you could say."

"What do you mean a few?" Ashton asked, nervous to know the answer because Luke seemed to be avoiding it.

"Well, um- about- I guess-"

"Luke," Ashton said, a tinge of firmness in his voice that made Luke sigh in defeat.

"I'vebeenwithabouttenpeopleIcan'trememberexactlybecauseIwasmostlydrunk," Luke said so fast Ashton didn't catch a word and frowned in confusion.

"Uh, what?" Luke groaned as Ashton felt the bed next to him dip as Luke took a seat.

"I said that I've been with about ten people. I can't remember exactly, I- I was drunk for some, if not most of them so I'm just guessing here," Luke said and Ashton's eyes widened.

"Ten? That's a lot," Ashton whispered, feeling self-conscious as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "Why so many?" He asked, cheeks tinged a soft shade of pink.

"Uh, just happened I guess," Luke said quickly.

"Lukey, you can tell me," Ashton insisted because he knew Luke was hiding something.

"Okay just- it's not your fault, okay? Promise me you wont blame yourself?" Luke practically begged and Ashton just nodded, not understanding where Luke was going with this.

"Okay so, I'd always been a naughty kid. I threw tantrums and pulled pranks and basically annoyed the shit out of my mom, dad and older brothers. When I reached the age of ten I guess my parents kind of assumed I had a bit of an anger problem because I'd always flip shit when they said no to me or grounded me, more than any other kid.

So when I was ten, one day while I was at school I felt like- like I was having a panic attack. I'd never felt more terrified in my life but I didn't understand what was happening so I just started screaming in the middle of class like some crazy ass kid," Luke said, chuckling weakly. Ashton frowned, having a slight idea where this was going but he didn't like it.

"I got taken to the nurse's office where my parents where also called in. I told them what happened and what I felt and the nurse explained to me that something must have happened to my soulmate because what I was feeling was their emotions. It hurt so bad, even at ten, to know how much you were suffering. I thought it would get better but it just got worse.

I didn't know how to deal with the sudden feeling of depression and anger I was feeling through the bond. Added to my own anger problems it made me quite a problematic kid. I wasn't used to those emotions so I can only imagine how it must have felt for you," Luke whispered, grabbing Ashton's hand in his and intertwining their fingers together. He raised their joined hands and placed a feather light kiss to Ashton's knuckles making him blush.

"I was so confused growing up. I could barely differentiate between our emotions and it made me lash out a lot. I started going to parties and drinking at a really young age just to escape a bit. I lost my virginity at a really young age. It was at a party and I'd just turned fifteen. I was so drunk and she was a little older so yeah.

As I got older I guess I realised how much more difficult this had to be for you. I didn't know what happened when you were ten but all I knew was what you felt. I felt your loathing, anger, depression, sadness and resentment and I knew you were suffering more than anyone should. So when I was about sixteen I started to realise just how strong you were- are, and it made me care about you so much more than I ever thought possible considering I didn't know you. I wanted you to know someone cared about you. I wanted to help you so I conjured up the strongest, most positive emotions I could possibly feel just so you could feel it too.

Every time I did that it became easier and my emotions towards you became stronger. I could feel I was helping you so every time you were particularly down I just thought about how much you meant to me, even if we'd never met, and I knew you could feel it too because you'd feel better.

Unfortunately, even if I matured to some extent I still partied a lot, went out all the time and got drunk like every weekend. It just kind of stuck with me I guess because a lot of the friends I'd developed were like that too. Calum tried to get me to tone it down and after he met Michael he also tried to help me out. They thought if I found someone to settle with until I found my soulmate it might be easier for me.

So a few months after I turned eighteen, Michael and Calum set me up with Aleisha. We dated as you know but it was obviously nothing more than that and she helped me out a lot I guess. I owe her a lot because I was honestly a mess," Luke finished, a smile evident in his voice.

Ashton's head was spinning with so many thoughts and emotions he could barely wrap his head around it. He felt so incredibly guilty even if he promised Luke he wouldn't because now he knows he messed up Luke's entire childhood. He got him into drinking and sleeping around and he hated himself more than ever before.

He also hated how jealous it made him feel to hear Luke talk about Aleisha so fondly. He was glad someone was there to help him but he hated that it wasn't him. He hated that he was the reason Luke needed help in the first place. He hated that Luke owed Aleisha.

Luke cleared his throat, drawing Ashton's attention back before he continued. "At the restaurant, when you were panicking, I'd never felt more afraid in my life because I recognised that emotion. I felt like I was back to being ten years old in class experiencing the exact same thing you felt. I was terrified for you," Luke said, pulling Ashton close to him, nuzzling his face in Ashton's curls. Ashton's feeling's of guilt and jealously faded for a moment as he pressed his face into Luke's neck.

He felt a little brave and placed a kiss against Luke's neck, which turned out to be his Adam's apple. He heard Luke sigh contentedly at the touch and press his face further into Ashton's hair.

"I-I'm sorry, Lukey. I'm so so sorry," Ashton whispered, voice cracking with emotion.

"For what?" Luke asked, seeming confused. He pulled back from Ashton only to cup his face, Ashton's face encased in Luke's warm and calloused hands.

"I basically ruined your life." Ashton felt so close to tears but he willed himself not to cry, closing his eyes tightly.

"Open your eyes, baby," Luke whispered, his breath fanning across Ashton's face making him shiver involuntarily. Ashton fluttered his eyes open, feeling his eyelashes slightly damp from the tears that were building up in his eyes.

"It's not your fault, not for a second. You went through so much more than I did, Ash. You were so much stronger than I was, you still are. I should've tried to help you from the start but I didn't. I buried myself in alcohol and sex. I made my own decisions so I wont hear you take the blame for that for a second, okay? My past is my past and it's not your fault," Luke said, voice stern and almost demanding making Ashton nod almost right away.

"We should get ready for bed. You can sleep in my bed and I'll take the floor if you want?"

"What about Michael's bed?"

"I'm not sleeping in that bed when Michael and Calum probably fuck there on the daily when I'm not around," Luke said and Ashton's face flushed again.

"Uh- we can share your bed?" Ashton said, voice raising at the end making it more of a question. Luke placed a kiss on Ashton's forehead as he chuckled, agreeing.

"Lukey, I don't have clothes to sleep in," Ashton frowned, realising everything was in his dorm.

"You can just sleep in your boxers, that's what I do. You can leave your shirt on too if you want," Luke suggested and Ashton just nodded nervously. He reminded himself that he had shared a bed with Luke before in both nothing but their boxers and Ashton a shirt, but he still felt a little timid.

Luke stood up and Ashton heard him rustling around the room. Ashton took a shaky breath before bending down to untie his shoes. He removed his socks, stuffing them in his shoes. He went with fumbling fingers to undo the button of his jeans and he gulped a little nervously knowing Luke was in the same room as him. He shakily zipped it down and tugged at his jeans, pulling them off.

He folded his jeans and placed them on the bed. He tugged on his shirt nervously as he waited for Luke to finish whatever he was doing.

"I'll put your jeans and shoes on the desk, okay?" Luke asked once he returned to Ashton's side. He nodded as he heard Luke picking up the items and placing them where he said he would. Ashton stood up from the bed when Luke got back and he could hear Luke pulling the duvet back and setting up the pillows. Ashton shuffled on his feet, continuously tugging on the end of his shirt.

"Do you want to sleep by the wall?" Luke asked and Ashton nodded.

"The bed is ready if you want to get in now," Luke said. Ashton walked forward slowly, not wanting to hit himself on the bed by walking too fast. He reached out with his hands, feeling the bed and crawling over to his side. He felt Luke get in next to him and Luke reach for the sheet to pull it over them.

"Hey, what's that?" Luke asked. Ashton frowned in confusion until he felt Luke's hand touch his bare thigh. Ashton gasped a little at the touch, squirming away so that his back was against the wall, his legs drawn up to his chest.

He knew exactly what was there but he also sometimes forgot because he couldn't see it. He cursed himself for wearing boxers that were slightly shorter because otherwise Luke wouldn't have noticed, not yet at least.

"Ash?" Luke asked again, sounding concerned. Ashton placed his hand on the skin of his thigh, feeling the bumpy texture of the burn and winced at how disgusting it felt. Luke was probably disgusted in him.

"It's from the accident," Ashton whispered, lowering his head as his hand still rested on his thigh.

"The fire when you were ten?" Luke asked and Ashton just nodded. Before he could form a thought, Luke gripped Ashton's ankles, pulling his legs down flat.

"Lukey-" Ashton gasped. Before he knew what was happening Luke's hands were running up his bare legs and his breathing became uneven at the touch. Luke's hand came to rest on his burned thigh and he tried to lift his leg up to hide it but Luke kept it firmly down.

Ashton's breath hitched when he felt Luke's breath on his thigh and he squirmed, breathing increasing with every touch. Luke placed a light kiss against his burned skin, his lips lingering and it made Ashton shudder.

"Lukey d-don't, it's disgusting," Ashton breathed because he didn't understand why Luke would touch him there when it was clearly disgusting. He could only imagine having to look at the hideous mark.

"You're beautiful, baby. Every part of you," Luke said as he placed one more kiss on his thigh before pulling away. Luke tugged Ashton down so that he was lying back on the bed, head on the pillow before pulling the sheet over them. Ashton tried to even out his breathing as he heard the click of the light switch.

When Luke settled into the bed, he turned his body to face Ashton, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him against his chest. Their feet tangled together and Ashton pressed his face against Luke's chest, sighing in contentment. Luke's chin was resting on the top of Ashton's head and he could feel Luke humming in approval.

"Hey Ash?" Luke asked suddenly.

"Yeah?" Ashton asked, already feeling his eyes growing heavy.

"Before the whole restaurant thing, when we uh- when we fought," Luke began and Ashton froze in Luke's arm, the fight seeming like it was so long ago he actually forgot.

"You said something before you left. You asked why I wont kiss you, I think," Luke said, sounding confused. Ashton's face flushed as he shoved his face into Luke's clothed chest.

"Why did you say that, baby?" Luke whispered. Ashton whined, not wanting to respond.

"Ashton," Luke said, more demanding and Ashton whined again.

"I just- you never kiss me," he mumbled out in response, wishing he could just be swallowed up by the mattress at this very moment because he was so embarrassed to be talking about it.

"Is that where the whole Aleisha thing came from?" Luke asked but Ashton just shrugged even though that was only part of it. Luke sighed loudly.

"Baby, the reason I haven't really been kissing you is because you told me so many times you weren't ready for a relationship. I know you're still hesitant about us and I didn't want to rush anything," Luke said simply.

Ashton was quiet for a moment, more embarrassed than ever at the simple explanation.

"Oh," he murmured quietly, Luke chuckling. Ashton could feel Luke's chest shake as he laughed and Ashton just snuggled closer.

"Well, at least now I know you're okay with kissing," Luke said, laugher in his voice.

Luke moved his hands so that they were gripping the back of Ashton's thighs. He squealed a bit at the sudden touch as Luke shifted Ashton up. Ashton could feel Luke's breath on his face and blushed at their sudden proximity, wanting to go back to being nestled in Luke's chest.

"Lukey, w-what are you-"

Ashton was cut off when Luke pressed his lips every so lightly against Ashton's, making his breath hitch as he froze.

"It's okay, Ash," Luke mumbled against his lips as he pressed down more firmly. His lips were warm against Ashton's, not moving until Ashton responded by pressing back unsurely.

The other two times Luke had kissed him had merely been Luke pressing his lips against Ashton's, so he was incredibly nervous and self-conscious when Luke moved his lips against his gently as though not to startle him. He didn't know what to do and he felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment when Luke pulled back.

"Just follow my lead," he whispered, panting slightly and Ashton nodded.

Luke's hand cupped the back of Ashton's neck and jaw, drawing him in when he pressed his lips again. This time when Luke moved, Ashton responded but he knew it was sloppy compared to Luke who seemed so confident and sure.

Suddenly Luke's lips parted against Ashton's, his tongue swiping gently against the seam of Ashton's lips, making him freeze again because now he didn't know what to do again and he wanted to die or just disappear forever.

"Open your mouth," Luke mumbled, lips still pressed to Ashton's.

"O-okay."

Luke repeated the action and Ashton hesitantly parted his mouth. Luke's tongue went into Ashton's mouth, swiping against the roof of his mouth and making him shiver and pant against Luke's mouth at the sensitive touch.

Luke's tongue moved against Ashton's and he felt so overwhelmed at the touch, Luke completely controlling the kiss and using his mouth. Ashton felt hot all over, panting and breathing ragged into the kiss.

Luke's hand roamed down Ashton's side and waist, squeezing his side and making Ashton whimper into the kiss, becoming pliant in Luke's touch. Luke nipped on Ashton's bottom lip, making his breath hitch and his mind completely foggy and dazed, lost in Luke's touch.

Ashton could feel heat pooling in his stomach, not understanding the feeling or the wave of arousal that washed over him making him incoherent and incapable of thought.

Ashton froze into the kiss, however, when realising he was hardening down below. He pulled away, completely embarrassed because this had probably only happened to him once before.  He vaguely knew about this kind of stuff, enough to know it was probably very embarrassing to get turned on so fast. Luke probably had high stamina or something but Ashton's complete inexperience meant he didn't.

"You okay?" Luke breathed heavily, pulling Ashton closer but not trying to kiss him again.

"Y-yeah," he breathed, struggling to even his breathing.

Luke's hand, still on Ashton's waist, pulled him closer still but they both froze when Ashton's hard on touched Luke's lower stomach. Ashton now decided that this was officially the most embarrassing moment of his entire life, beating the time in gym class when he walked into an occupied shower. Nothing in his life would ever beat the mortification he felt now. He whined, burying his face in his hands as his cheeks flushed more than ever before.

"Are- are you hard?" Luke asked and Ashton wanted to bury himself six-feet-under. He tried to squirm away from Luke's grip on his waist so he could turn around and face the wall but Luke wouldn't let him, grip tightening.

"Hey, it's okay, baby. You don't need to feel embarrassed," Luke said softly, gripping Ashton's wrists and prying his hands away from his face. Ashton immediately buried his face in Luke's shoulder making Luke chuckle.

"I take it as a complement," Luke continued, sounding smug and Ashton wanted to knee him in the stomach because he was being so annoying. "At least I know you thought the kiss was good. I was almost getting hard myself so no need to feel embarrassed. Want me to take care of it?" He asked nonchalantly and Ashton gasped.

"L-Lukey stop!" Ashton said, mortified against Luke's shoulder. Luke laughed lightly, rubbing his hand on Ashton's back comfortingly.

"I'm just trying to help," he said smugly making Ashton blush.

"No t-thanks," he mumbled, glad that due to his embarrassment he was already softening.

"Okay well we should get some rest then," Luke whispered, hugging Ashton tightly and he nodded in agreement.

"Lukey?" Ashton asked after a minute of silence.

"Yeah?"

"Can- can you sing something?" Ashton whispered.

Luke hummed in response, rubbing the back of Ashton's head with his hand. He was quiet for a moment, the only sound was their breathing and Ashton was just about to fall asleep when he heard Luke softly begin to sing.    

"We watch the season pull up its own stakes

And catch the last weekend of the last week

Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,

Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

You have stolen my heart."

Ashton smiled softly as Luke sang, feeling himself falling into unconsciousness. The last thing he heard Luke whisper right into his ear before he fell asleep was, "You've stolen my heart, Ashton."

[text_hash] => e62a3110
)