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Monty POV....

I can't deal with this shit alone and I'm trying my hardest to be a good dad. I haven't heard from Variah in two weeks since she left. I trued calling her and she wouldn't answer me for nothing. I was getting nervous and Tae is leaving back home in about a month. He's here but my daughter still needs a woman figure in her life..

Tae can only do so much as a gay man but I do appreciate what he is doing. "Monty I'm taking Amiyah out for lunch you want something?" Tae said opening the door to my room. I just laid there watching TV just dead thinking. "Naw I'm good Tae" I said not moving an inch. I felt him sit on my bed and heard him take a deep breath.

"Monty you need to get out of this funk of yours it's not good and Amiyah asking me what's wrong with you isn't helping" he said concerned and I just thought about my daughter and raising her alone is scary. I can't teach her how to take care of herself that's something a woman has to do.

"Tae I feel like I chased her mom away and I don't know where the hell she is my child needs a mother"I said with hurt in my voice. I was nervous as hell that I might have to take the reigns as both parents. I was prepared for being a father to her and now I gotta help raise her as a young lady to a woman.

I have a few years until it really gets difficult but I'm thinking on it now. "Monty she'll be fine I'm sure you'll do what's best for her and you'll find a nice young lady to help you and will love her just as much as you do just do what you can for now"he said hugging me. I heard little footsteps coming in and it was Amiyah as she jumped in the bed laying on me.

"Daddy you okay?" she asked me. I looked into her big beautiful brown eyes and told her I would be fine. I got up when they got off of me. "Y'all give me about 30 minutes I'll get dressed and go out and have lunch" I said going to the bathroom. I took a hot shower and after I did all my hygiene I got dressed.

I walked out as they were playing a a card game. "What y'all playing?" I said standing next to Amiyah. "Go Fish now shhh I'm trying to win back my cards" Tae said because he had only two cards left. They were having an intense game of Go Fish. Amiyah could barely hold all then cards in her hands.

"Got a king" Amiyah said and Tae handed over his king and he only had one card left. "Got a ummm letnme think......a ace"she said confused. Tae jaw dropped and just handed over the card because he lost. "I quit she keep cheating and I'm over it at this point I'm done" Tae said folding his arms like a child.

"No I'm not stop it" Amiyah yelled and stood up. My baby girl ain't no punk she get that from her daddy and some from her momma. "Alright children let's go eat" I said and they both stood up. Amiyah grabbed Tae hand and they walked out together. They act like Amiyah just didn't check Tae.

I just left it alone as I walked out the house. I wasn't about to deal with then and their mood swings. Maybe it's just a family thing they going through. I was the same way with my other cousin before he moved far away and we lost contact though. I got in the car and started it up.

I looked back to check if Amiyah was strapped in. She was and she was playing in Tae phone. "Tae you locked up everything in your phone so she doesn't see anything" I asked pulling out the driveway. "Yes I did dad" Tae said sarcastically. I was driving to Panera Bread since that's where they decided to go.

I really didn't care for the restaurant like that because it just wasn't for me. Their M&M cookies are good as hell and the brownies are bomb too. They soups are good especially the broccoli cheddar soup. That's about all I eat from there. However Tae loved this place and he gotten Amiyah hooked on it too.

We pulled up after about 10 minutes of Tae playing Beyonce and Rihanna over and over. I was getting sick of Work, Sorry, We Found Love, Partition, and dammit I was over it all. Amiyah and him was singing and I was just driving trying to tune it out. We got out of the car when we got to the restaurant. We walked in and went to the window to order our food.

Tae paid for our meals and we stood off to the side to wait until our names was called. "Monty is that you?" I heard a male voice say behind me. I turned around and it was Kayvon with Kassidy. "Man look I don't want no issue" I said not in the mood to deal with him. I never really cared for Kayvon because he never cared for me.

We knew we didn't get along with each other but we had to deal with each other because I was with Kenyamo. Now that I'm not with Kenyamo anymore well at least for now we don't have to speak. "I was about to ask you did you see Kenyamo he hasn't been home and nobody had seen or heard from him in a couple weeks" he said with a concerned voice.

He went missing again? What the fuck they do to him? I'll kill they asses if they hurt him it's bad enough I hurt him but now them that's too much. "What did y'all do?" I said with anger rising in my body. I was pissed off and worried about him at the same time. "He found out about what we did to y'all relationship" Kassidy said sadly.

What the fuck they tell him for? We all was supposed to take that to the grave. Well I was going to tell him plenty of times but I backed out because of the threats and I was scared so I had to do what I had to do. I never meant for him to find out from them. I always fought for us but his family always won somehow.

"Who told him?" I said shaking my head. Our names was called and Tae and Amiyah got the food then found a seat while I talked to them. "It slipped out when I was arguing with him then he left and we tried calling him but no answer" he said nervously. If I know Kenyamo he's still alive but he needs time especially after this.

"Well I haven't heard from him and I probably won't ever get him back because of this shit I hope he leaves y'all the hell alone" I said walking off and sitting with Tae and Amiyah. I saw them leave out the restaurant and I just sat there. I thought heavily about Kenyamo and if he's okay or not right now.

"What was that all about?" Tae said taking a bite of his sandwich. I just sat there dumbfounded as to what I could do to help find him. I just wanted to check up on him and see if he was okay. "Kenyamo went missing" I said sad. Amiyah wasn't paying any attention she was too into the games Tae had on his phone.

"Again? Oh well the hoe will come back anyways" Tae said like he didn't care about Kenyamo. I know they had beef for the longest but they too old to still have issues after that long. "Tae y'all too old and if you not gone be concerned about him knowing what he means to me then just shut up" I said getting up from my seat.

I grabbed the car keys and told them to come on. They got their food together and I was already in the car when they came out. They got in and sat in silence. I was pissed off in general because of the situation then for Tae to be so insensitive made me irritated so I need to find out what the hell is going on.

I drove back to the house to stop them off. "Monty I'm sorry about being a jackass back there but it was my natural reaction"Tae said before he got out the car. I nodded and the both of then got out. "Amiyah come give daddy kiss" I said before she went in the house. She ran and hopped in the front seat and hugged and kissed me.

"I love you baby girl" I said hugging her. I needed this from my child right now. I know this Kenyamo situation isn't my business but I'm making it mines because Kenyamo is mines no matter what. I sound crazy but I don't care about that. "I love you too daddy" she said and I told her to go into the house with Tae. She got out and ran up to the door with Tae.

I pulled off and was driving anywhere Kenyamo might be at. I realized after awhile it was pointless because he has been missing for a couple weeks according to the brother and sister of the year. I went to my phone and seen I had a missed call. I looked and it was from Kenyamo. I sat in a parking lot and called him back.

"Hello" he said lowly answering the phone.

Kenyamo POV ...

I went back to Philadelphia with Taylon after he told me to come visit for awhile. I had half a mind to leave and never come the fuck back. I always run and it's a bad habit but it's my habit. I was laying in this spare room at Taylon and his boyfriend house. His boyfriend was cool as shit we got cool and he's friendly to me.

Tayshod has been blowing up my phone along with Kayvon and Kassidy. I had nothing to say to none of they asses. I wasn't trying to hear the bullshit and lies they had for me. They can keep it especially Tayshod and Kayvon.

I heard a knock on the door and I said "come in". Keas walked through the door and smiled at me. "Hey boo you okay?" he said sitting on the bed. I sat up and just said "I'm still trying to wrap my head around how they could do me like that Keas how could your own family want to see you unhappy" I said like he didn't know what I was going through.

"You're pretty much preaching to the choir right now I've been through it too my brother being abusive to me for being gay and then turn around and fuck my man just to hurt me it sucks but it's life some people have it easy and some have it hard but it's up to you to deal with it" he said tapping me on my leg.

"I don't want to deal with it that's the thing I can't face them and let them hurt me anymore I'm not going back" I said with assurance. Keas looked at me like I was crazy and I know I sounded crazy as hell. "Ken baby you can't run from your hurt although it works for awhile but it's best to face it head on that's how you become stronger trust me" he said and I knew he was right.

"I know but how could my boyfriend just let them destroy us like that I loved him so much if he was that scared he should've told me" I said getting angrier st thinking about Monty doing me like that because of my family. "Well Ken baby there is only one way to deal with it calk him and talk to him about it" he said standing up.

He gave me a hug and walked out of the room. I looked at my phone and I grabbed it. I dialed his number but stopped myself. I kept thinking what he would say or what I should say. I called him number and I was freaking out for nothing because he didn't even answer. I threw my phone and sat back in the bed. Maybe he didn't care about me like I thought he did.

I still loved him and I wasn't scared to admit it. I just want him to explain himself. My phone started ringing and it was Monty. I sat up quickly and fixed myself like he could see me. "Hello" I said lowly into the phone. I heard silence on his end and I just held the phone. "Kenyamo are you okay?" he said and I told him I was fine.

"They told me you found out about what happened and I just wanna say I'm sorry and I always meant to tell you but I was scared" he said and I paused processing everything as he talked. I didn't want to miss anything he said because I had to deal with it like Keas said. "Monty this is so fucked up you could've told me I was there so you put me through hell because of them?" I asked him out of curiosity.

He sighed into the phone and got quiet. "Yes Kenyamo it was because of them and Jerari was in on it too I always said I never meant to hurt you and I meant it I'm sorry for hurting you I should've told you when they first came at me I was trying to protect my family too it was alot to gi through I apologize Ken please forgive me" he said as I felt a tear fall from my face.

"Monty I love you and I think you love me but I'm scared to get back with you" I said truthfully. He sniffed and I knew he was crying. "Kenyamo you know I love you I would've never put you through that if it wasn't for them but I do take full responsibility for my actions look I'm not asking you to get back with me just forgive me so I can work for you again" he said with his voice breaking. I won't leave him alone I just can't. My heart won't let me and my mind don't either.

"Monty I'm not coming back" I said because I wasn't at least I don't have a reason to. He started sniffling and I started to cry too. "Don't do that Ken please just come back I miss you I can't live without you I don't know how to I always held on to you maybe coming back the first time I'll find you and win you back" he said crying into the phone. I hated hearing him like this I would've been back with him if I was a couple years younger.

"Monty you have a family and I can't compete with that and you're still with your baby momma I can't" I said trying to keep it together I just couldn't for much longer. "Fuck her she's not you I didn't see it until I lost you baby please I'm begging you" he said pleading with me and knowing me I'm going to fall for it.

The thing is should I really forgive him? "Monty I'll always love you forever just give me a few days and I'll let you know" I said trying to rush this conversation. I do love him and I knee he loved me it was all their fault why he put me through hell. He's no angel but I knew it had to be something more.

"Fair enough just don't leave me hanging again please I love you" he said calming down. I wiped my tears and taking a deep breath. "I love you too I gotta go" I said and we hung up the phone. Keas walked in and stood by the door as I started crying again. He came and hugged me tight. "You love him still and it's okay just go back in your own time but don't wait too long" he said rocking me back and forth. I cried into his chest and thought about my past.

He did have to protect his family and mines is known for running boys away but that was too far even for them. "I love him so much Keas I don't know when I wanna go back if I even want to" I said breaking the hug between us. He just sat there listening to me.

My phone went off and I had a text message. It was from Kassidy and I was hesitant about answering it. I unlocked my phone and it read "Mom is in the hospital sick and it's worse they said she won't make it this time please call me ASAP you need to be here". I just held my head in my hands and cried. That's all I could do first Monty now this with my mom I can't hold this in my heart is in shambles right now.

Thoughts on this chapter?

I'm back writing heavily this time and I'm determined to finish this book for y'all. I've been going through alot with my relationship falling apart and work is stressful. Everything is hitting me hard at one time so I write to escape it.

Thanks to everyone that reads this book and still waits patiently for an update. You're greatly appreciated and loved thank you. 💕😘

-FlawlessTae

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