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Last Christmas

I gave you my heart

But the very next day

You gave it away

This year

To save me from tears

I'll give it to

Someone Special

__________________

It had always been like that. The three of them, always together, since very very young. It had happened pretty naturally. Seungyeon, Seungwoo and Wooseok were neighbors, Seungwoo being in the middle house ended up bringing Seungyeon and Wooseok together as well. It came more as a responsibility than a friendship at first. Truth is, Seungwoo had always had that warmth and kindness, almost a mother like feeling to him, so when the two babies moved to the two houses beside him, he was ecstatic.

Courtesy made their families pay them a visit. Seungwoo was about 6 or 7 then, and Wooseok and Seungyeon were 4 and 5. Wooseok moved in first, and he was extremely adorable. With cute wide eyes, chubby cheeks and pouty lips. It was cold when he moved in, so he was bundled up in a way too large red sweater (probably bought oversized to last longer, and also because it looked adorable) and a red beanie. As soon as his mother sat down with him on his lap, Seungwoo approached silently. And Wooseok reached out for him! The older couldn't help but almost squeal and immediately try and make him smile. From there on, they always let Seungwoo play with Wooseok at least a bit, and sometimes even left the two on their own, knowing Seungwoo was careful enough to take care of him.

About two months later came Seungyeon. It was already spring, everything looking colorful and joyful, and baby Seungyeon coincidently held those two characteristics as soon as he came in through the door. He was being held by his dad, wearing bright green overalls, a light blue sweater underneath and was playing with a small orange piece of fabric, probably something he got from his mom. And he was already giggling, moving the orange fabric back and forth. His eyes turned into two small lines as he giggled, but all faded when he accidentally dropped the fabric. Seungwoo quickly ran over, getting the fabric off the ground and dusting it lightly. He had learnt, because of Wooseok's uncontrollable habit of putting things in his mouth, to always make sure the things the babies played with were clean. He lightly waved the fabric in front of the baby who soon was giggling all over again.

And as time passed, things didn't change. Wooseok and Seungyeon were always at his house, playing with his toys, eating the snacks his mom prepared for them. The parents also became close and trusted each other a lot to leave their kids with each other even for sleepovers.

When Seungwoo started going through puberty, as Seungyeon and Wooseok were still kids, it would be expected to become distant from them. Opposite from that, Seungwoo spent time with them even more. He would pick them up from school everyday, help with school chores and even knew exactly what they liked and disliked, their nap times, favorite TV shows and clothes. Sometimes even the parents were impressed with how well Seungwoo knew the two kids.

And when puberty came for the kids as well, it was Seungwoo who explained everything. It was also Seungwoo who gave them advice, who helped with hard schoolwork, who was a shoulder to cry on and a loud laugh to laugh along, a soothing voice to sing along to. And as they grew up, things never changed. They were always together, always at each other's houses. The houses didn't matter. They were home. They were home to each other, and wherever the two others were was where they felt more comfortable and happier.

And soon they became adults. Started doing the things they loved. Unsurprisingly, Seungyeon wanted to major in music, specialized in composition and production. Wooseok became an acting major. And by surprise, the older received the two with open arms in the same university as him, but another department since he majored in dance. Even in university, they were together as much as they could, moved in to the same apartment but designed it to have at least some personal space for each of them. Everyone in university knew the handsome trio that was always together, playing around and laughing.

But it was Christmas Time. And if it was Christmas, they had to keep their traditions. It had started a while after the babies had moved in. Since the parents needed to buy decorations, ingredients and others for Christmas, it was hard to keep carrying the babies, especially since the two got easily impressed with all the bright colors from the Christmas ornaments. So it had been an habit to leave the three together and just joing all three families for christmas celebration. And even as they grew up, they made up their own traditions for the christmas eve morning and afternoon, it being playing board games, watching movies or eating sweets. Especially eating sweets. After all Seungyeon's mom was an amazing cook and it was impossible to stay skinny when she was around.

As soon as they were free from classes, the three got the first tickets they could get to go back home. They moved back and forth at the apartment, packing their things and the gifts they had bought. They also made sure to get seats together in the train, since it was a long way.

Wooseok came out of his room with a big bag, slightly straining to push it all the way to the other side of the living room. Seungwoo quickly appeared, taking the bag from him and pushing it himself.

"What the heck are you keeping here, it weights the same as you and Younie together"

"Gifts. My mom also asked me to buy some house stuff while I'm here, and it's all in there."

"Your mom is still learning more about cooking from Seungyeon's mom, right?"

"Yep, and she has been obsessed. I'm almost entirely sure I'll have to roll all the way to the station on the way back."

"Nah, me and Seungyeon would carry you"

"I don't know if I should feel offended or flattered"

Seungwoo laughed, ruffling the other's hair and getting a frown and a pout in response. Anyway, he kept organizing their things before leaving. After organizing all his clothes, gifts and other luggage, the older went to the kitchen to try and pack them some lunch and snacks for the trip. Due to Seungyeon's mom's cooking skills and Seungwoo also learning from her, the two became especially picky eaters, and would probably end up in a bad mood due to the food from the train. So Seungwoo just started packing sandwiches, fruits and other snacks for the three of them.

Suddenly there were arms wrapping around him from behind. Not so sudden actually, Seungyeon had the habit of being very clingy ever since he was a baby all the way to adulthood. While the habit Wooseok kept since then was well... biting everything. Including people. Especially a certain Cho Seungyeon. And sometimes their younger friend Hangyul. A bit feisty.

"What are you making, Woonie?"

"Wooseok's favorite sandwiches and I made your favorite mandus last night. Also cut some fruit and made cookies last night too."

"Woo, if you keep up with this me and Wooseok will never get married. Our standards are too high already."

"Your standards are high? You're just picky as heck, don't try to make it seem sophisticated. You're two picky babies."

"We're your babies though."

"Ever since Wooseok was 4 and you were 5, yes, you are my babies."

"I like being your baby. But you also don't need to make a lot, my mom probably has already prepared a feast when we arrive."

"Still, we need to leave soon and haven't had dinner yet. Let's just eat in the train, then sleep."

"I'm really glad we could get to be together in the train."

"Me too, you know Wooseok doesn't sleep well when he's not home if he doesn't have us near him."

"Yep, I still remember when he woke up from that nightmare."

"But he has us now, and on the way back too. He will be fine, since we are here."

"Whenever we are together, we are fine. Now, can I help with something? I finished my things."

"I'm almost done with this as well, go check if Wooseok needs help carrying stuff."

"Alright, Woonie, will do."

Seungyeon left the kitchen to help Wooseok with the bags while Seungwoo finished all the small food bags. From the amount of things they were taking it looked like they were moving to another country, but actually they were just spending a week on their hometown.

"Alright, kids, all ready? We need to go!"

Seungwoo yelled and the two others quickly came to the door. Everyone checked again if everything was there and left. The trip was long. They had bought tickets for a cabinet with four beds since they would travel overnight and wanted to be comfy. The first thing they did once they arrived was eat the things Seungwoo had prepared a started getting ready to sleep. None of them wanted to sleep on the upper bunk beds, afraid of falling off during the night, so Seungwoo slept with Wooseok while Seungyeon had a bed for himself. Wooseok had always had trouble sleeping, ever since he was a baby. He would move around and babble, especially when he had to sleep somewhere unknown. Seungwoo had gotten used to soothing the younger through it.

Even with Wooseok's restless sleep, the trip wasn't exactly too uncomfortable. They still could get sleep, and Seungwoo's food, plus the idea of Christmas and meeting their families again made them have an increasingly good mood.

As soon as they arrived, it was as expected. All families were together in Seungwoo's house, Seungyeon's mom having prepared an enormous brunch feast to receive the three. Who saw it may have thought they didn't see each other for years, when in reality it had not been more than three months.

They chitchatted, updated each other on all matters, played around, got nagged at for still being single, everything families do. Before they could realize it, night had come. It was the 23rd of December, and they had to be rested for all activities that would come the following day. So all set in their own houses, and rested for the amazing day to come.

___________________

It was early in the morning when the first knock on Seungwoo's door came, not even bothering for the older to come open the door and getting in himself with the extra key. The scene kind of reminded Seungwoo of the first time he had seen the younger, red large sweater and red beanie, but this time the red sweater had snow flakes as decoration and he was wearing light washed jeans as he took off the large coat as soon as possible. Seungwoo walked over, laughing as he helped Wooseok take off the coat and hung it beside the door.

"Good morning, Mister Grumpy."

"You would be grumpy too if you woke up to a mask of the grinch right at your face, and jingle bells being blasted on your speakers."

"Let me guess, Seungyeon's idea?"

"Yep. He even gave my dad the mask! I'm seriously going to beat him up."

"Oh, come on, it's Christmas Eve. I will make something to cheer you up."

"If that means your magical hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and a candy cane, I'm entirely in."

Seungwoo laughed and leaned down booping the youngerster's nose.

"Exactly."

"I would be mad, but I want your hot chocolate."

"Come on, I'll make it for you."

Seungwoo wrapped an arm around the youngerster's shoulders. As always, tiny. Even as a kid Wooseok had always been on the tiny side, so he was an easy target. Seungwoo and Seungyeon always tried to stay beside him so he wouldn't be teased.

As soon as they got in the kitchen, Seungwoo started taking the ingredients he had prepared before hand. Drinking his hot chocolate in Christmas Eve morning was also a tradition. Wooseok also took his traditional place sitting on the counter and looking at Seungwoo as the older skillfully prepared it. Both already knew the recipe by heart, but it was soothing for Wooseok to watch the older do it. Seungwoo felt like home, and when Seungwoo was making that specific hot chocolate it was as if that home was suddenly filled with christmas lights, and a delicious smell of chocolate, ginger and vanilla. He loved it a lot.

"Other than your dad scaring you, did you sleep well, Seokie?"

"I sleep better when you guys are around, you know that. But it was good enough. I dreamt about you guys. A really great dream."

"Really? What dream?"

"Remember that time you thought you hadn't done well on your finals and was all gloomy, so then me and Seungyeon took you by force to slide on the sled down the snow. You were freaking out and holding me for dear life."

Wooseok was smiling fondly at the memory, while Seungwoo chuckled at his embarrassing behavior.

"It reminds me of that time you got upset over what that guy said about you, and for the next whole month me and Seungyeon ran away from our classes to pass every free time you had with you. In the end of the month, your parents treated us to an evening in the arcade, remember?"

"And you won that Just Dance small competition just to get that large plushie because I said I wanted it."

"Of course. Your hyung should treat his lovely dongsaeng."

"Hyung, you know you're more than just a hyung, right?"

"Of course, I'm your friend."

"You're more than that."

And Seungwoo's heart felt like it would beat out of his chest.

"What do you mean, Seokie?"

"You're home, hyung. I don't know a life where I don't have you and Younie by my side. If I ever had to stay away from you guys, I think I would rather die. You two make me feel safe, happy and comfortable to be whoever I am or I want to be."

"I'm happy to know that, Seokie. I feel the same, you know. Wherever we are, it doesn't matter, if I have you two I feel like I'm home."

"Hyung, I have something to tell you."

"Well, I have something to tell you too."

Seungwoo turned off the fire and turned around, facing Wooseok completely. It was now or never.

"Let's say it together then, hyung."

"I'm in love with you."

"I think I'm in love with someone."

The two stared at each other with wide eyes. And Seungwoo felt his heart stop and turn cold.

"Who... who are you in love with, Seokie?"

"Hyung... hyung, I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have said it, I- "

And Seungwoo shushed him with a hand on his cheek, cupping it gently.

"If my favorite tiny dongsaeng is in love with someone, I need to know."

"But... I hurt you, and now I'll hurt you even more. I can't hurt you."

"Seokie, do you know how many time you almost bit my fingers off when you were a baby? This is nothing compared to that pain, trust me."

Wooseok cutely scrunched up his nose at the joke. And Seungwoo's heart ached more.

"I think... I think I'm in love with Younie."

"Younie? Our Seungyeonie?"

"Yes..."

"Seokie... You know really well Younie isn't up for a relationship right now. He wants to have fun, and also has been pretty busy with his career."

"I know... and I'm so scared of ruining everything! What if he doesn't want to be friends anymore?"

"Shh. He would never. You remember what you just told me? We're home. Just like I am your home, you are his home. You know pretty well our friendship is stronger than this, even though your brain wants to overthink this too much."

"Hyung, I really don't know what to do..."

"You can try. You can try as soon as you feel like you're able to. And if things don't go as you want them to, I'll be waiting here with open arms, my magical hot chocolate and my mom's Christmas cookies, okay?"

"Hyung... I love you a lot, you know? And if I could I would force my heart to love you back just like you love me."

"Don't worry about it, Seokie. Don't worry."

And Seungwoo engulfed the smaller male in a warm, tight hug. Even though his heart seemed to have broke a part of it, the other still beat strongly and warmly for the small male in his arms.

"Let's start choosing a movie in the living room, hm? Your magical hot chocolate is done."

"Okay, hyung."

And Seungwoo took the two christmas mugs filled with hot chocolate to the living room, Wooseok following close behind. Their day could get better... right? It's still Christmas Eve.

__________________

"I'm sorry, Seokie... I don't want a relationship right now. I also can't see you as a lover. I'm sorry."

It was in Seungwoo's kitchen again where the second heart was shattered that day, only an hour after the first. They were watching their traditional morning movie, when Seungyeon stood up to get cookies, and Wooseok decided to follow to get drinks as well. And Wooseok thought that may be the right time. With the comfortable and lovely atmosphere. But his heart shattered instead.

"I... thought so. I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't ruin our friendship."

"What? It could never. You don't have to be sorry either, we can't force our heart to do or feel things. Our friendship is way stronger than this, you know that. I just feel sorry that I'm not able to give you what you want. But I know you will find someone much more amazing than me."

"I... let's go back. Woo hyung is waiting for us."

And this time, instead of Wooseok sitting on the middle of the two bigger males, he sat on the edge, nudging Seungwoo to move to the center. Wooseok cuddled closely to the older's side, and Seungwoo immediately got what had happened and wrapped his arms around the younger even tighter. It would be okay, as long as they were together.

_______________________

3... 2...1...

Merry Christmas!

Everyone yelled out together as the clock ticked past midnight. People hugged, smiling brightly and giving gifts. The christmas lights decorating the tree, the stairway and right over the fireplace sparkling happily, as if sensing it had to be brighter to try and compare to the people's shining smiles.

And in the middle of it, the two met yet again.

"Hyung... I'm..."

The younger stuttered, and Seungwoo knew him well enough to know he felt bad. Guilty, probably.

"Shh. Merry Christmas, Seokie. I bought you a gift and I hope you like it."

"But, hyung, I... today, we..."

"Shh. Listen, you don't need to worry, okay? It's okay. You didn't accept my heart this year, and didn't get yours accepted as well. But you can still accept my gift."

"I still feel sorry."

Seungwoo stepped closer, ruffling the youngerster's hair fondly before sliding his hand to the nape of his neck.

"Hey. Maybe you can give your heart to me next year? I will accept it gladly, since you already have mine."

"Hyung..."

"My gift already looks so pretty on you."

Seungwoo said, as he looked at the snow flake pendant on a silver necklace he had just subtly put on on the younger. Wooseok stared at it, and slowly a smile formed on his features.

"I love it, hyung, I love it a lot."

"I'm glad you do, Seokie. I love you."

"I love you too, hyung. Maybe, my heart will be yours next year."

_____________________

A Year Later

The same scene from the year before. The same calm, decorated house filled with the smell of Christmas cookies, ginger and vanilla on a calm Christmas Eve morning. And the same quiet knocking on the door. Again, the small male just got in, without bothering to wait for the older to open the door for him.

The sweater was different this time. Instead of the bright red, it was a light beige, with stripes in festive themes like reindeers and snow flakes. But the red beanie continued the same. Along with the grumpy pout and furrowed brows.

"Good morning, Mister Grumpy."

"Good morning, Mister Snoopy"

"What was it this year?"

"A giant scary reindeer on my window."

"Seungyeon really went there this year."

"Hyung, can't we get to the magical hot chocolate already? I really really really need it. Pretty please?"

Wooseok said in a whiny voice, hugging the taller male around the torso, a pout on his lips as he stared up with wide doe eyes. No one would ever be able to say no.

"Alright, big baby."

Wooseok smiled cheekily, stepping on Seungwoo's slippers exactly like he did when he was still a baby and wanted to be taken somewhere.

"Oh, you're doing that again? A 20 year old doing that, hmm..."

"Hey, don't come at me! It's your fault I'm still a big baby, you're the one who babies me!"

"I can't deny that."

Seungwoo laughed as he walked with Wooseok still stepping on his slippers towards the kitchen, and the smaller again took his royal place sitting on the counter as Seungwoo started preparing the magical hot chocolate.

Wooseok's eyes were different this time as he stared at the older making hot chocolate. The home that before only had Christmas lights and a delicious smell of chocolate, vanilla and ginger this time had new comfy and warm decoration, walls painted in warm light colors as well. Things had changed in that one year.

"You're quieter this year, Seokie."

"Hm? What do you mean, hyung?"

"Mostly this is the time you use to talk about nice memories from when we were kids."

"Hmm, let me start then... there's something I don't know if you remember."

"Say it, maybe I do."

"I think... I was about 7 then. Mom and Dad went on a work trip and I was staying in your house. And I was so gloomy because I didn't have them near me, that all I did was cry. It was only the first day since they left, and I was already being a hassle. So, at night you took me to the window of your room, laid blankets on the roof in front of your window, and sat me there. I still kept crying, but you held me close and made me look up at the stars. Right then, a shooting star passed by. You remember what you told me?"

"Not really... I remember when that happened but I don't remember what I said."

""You see that shooting star, Seokie? You know what shooting stars are? Shooting stars are gifts from the ones you love. They send shooting stars when they want to make you smile as bright as a star. See? Your parents want you to smile as bright as a star." That's what you said to me that night."

"You remember that very clearly. I guess it was a bit special to you."

"Yeah, and it still is. "

"There's something you told me when you were a kid as well, that I remember very clearly."

"What is it?"

"You always loved to play in the snow when you were young. From the first day of snow, all the way to the last, you would play in the snow for as long as you could. I always got worried, and your parents too, because you could easily get a cold. So once I asked why you liked snow so much."

"And what did I answer?"

"You said "Snow is always pretty. It's pretty when you look at it from the window of my home, it's pretty when you look at it while walking, and it's even prettier when you look at it closely. Because when you look at it from afar it seems angry. Because it's big and cold. But when you see it from up close you see it's made of small and fragile snow flakes, with so many details. Then it's just beautiful.""

"I was some pretty weird kid..."

"Yes, you were."

Seungwoo laughed, handing the hot chocolate filled mug to the younger and taking a sip of his own.

"Let's go choose the movies before Seungyeon arrives and wants to watch Grinch again."

"Geez, you're right, we need to hurry!"

Wooseok stood up, going to the living room and starting to choose movies. It would be a great Christmas Eve, this year.

____________________

It was right before the party started. And for some reason Wooseok had insisted he wanted to finish getting ready in Seungwoo's house. Apparently the older had taken one of his bags by accident. Wooseok knocked on the door of his hyung's room.

"Hyung, I'm coming in!"

Wooseok went in right as Seungwoo was putting his sweater on over a button up shirt. He looked specially handsome that Christmas, wearing a white button up shirt with a red sweater over it and black fitted pants.

"What is it, Seokie? You should be getting ready."

"I know, but I kept my accessories and makeup bag in your bag, remember? Because it didn't fit inside mine."

"Oh, right. I forgot, I'm sorry."

"Can I finish getting ready here? I brought my clothes."

"Sure, my house is your house and you know that."

"Thanks, Woo hyung."

And just like that Wooseok went into Seungwoo's bathroom. He got out wearing checkered pants with a brown slightly cold tone, and a sweater with a red burnt tone to it, also wearing a button up white shit underneath.

"What do you think, hyung?"

"You look pretty, as always."

"And you look handsome, as always."

Both laughed at each other and continued getting ready, Wooseok applying light makeup and even convincing Seungwoo to do so as well. In the end, they got ready earlier than intended.

"What can we do now? Things aren't ready yet."

"Let's... watch the stars! Like you did with me years ago, hm?"

"Sure, let me get some blankets."

And just like several years before, Seungwoo set the blankets over the roof, along with some pillows. He helped Wooseok climb from the window and sit down on the blankets. As soon as Seungwoo sat down, the younger rested his head on his shoulder.

"You have been wanting to ask me something, right?"

"How do you know?"

"I know you better than I know myself. Now spill."

"Well... your Christmas gift last year... is it a snow flake because of what I told you as a kid?"

Seungwoo laughed, ruffling the youngerster's hair.

"You finally noticed I see. Yes, it is."

"Why?"

"You know, when people look at you from afar... you're overwhelmingly beautiful. Almost as someone who shouldn't be touched. But when I look at you closely... I see that you're much more than that pretty face. I can see your flaws, your small habits, your mannerisms, your personality. And it's beautiful. The you that you only show to the two of us is absolutely beautiful. Just like a snow flake, that just shows its beauty to those who are brave and skillful enough to try."

Wooseok stayed silent for a while. His heart beat fast, just like Seungwoo's had the year before.

"I know it's not time for gifts yet... but I wanted to give you yours in private."

And Wooseok took a small box from his pocket, wrapped in silver paper wrap with a pretty red bow. Seungwoo smiled, taking it and kissing the top of the youngerster's head.

"Thank you."

"Open it."

"Alright, bossy."

And Seungwoo slowly opened the box. Inside he could see the pendant of a golden necklace. The small pendant was a beautiful star, 4 points being bigger and 4 smaller ones, the two alternated. The star had a pretty white stone in the middle. Seungwoo took the necklace in his hand, looking at it closely, a smile adorning his features.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it, Seokie"

"Let... Let me put it on you."

Wooseok took the necklace from Seungwoo's hands and put it on the older, staring at the pendant for a while.

"Why a star?"

"You remember what you told me about shooting stars, as a kid? That shooting stars are a reminder from your loved ones to smile brightly."

"Yes, you talked about it this morning."

"Well... you aren't just a shooting star. You're a star that is always up in my sky making me smile brightly. Making me happy. You know, hyung... last year, when you told me that... you know. I think I started seeing things a bit differently. I started paying attention to the way you smile... to your small habits and mannerisms... to the way you make me feel, hyung..."

"I see you thought about my proposal..."

"This year... the one I'm giving my heart to is you. This year and for the many many more to come. I love you, Seungwoo. I love you more than as a friend."

"This year, Seokie... this year just like the last and the next ones to come, I'm giving my heart to you, all over again. I love you too."

Wooseok's features went from the distressed one during his confession to a bright smile that no Christmas light could ever compare to, that no star could ever compare to, that no snow flake could ever compare to. At least in Seungwoo's eyes. So he smiled back, cupping the youngerster's cheeks and resting their foreheads together.

"I love you, my little snow flake."

"I love you too, my star."

And slowly they leant closer, their lips meeting in the middle, soft, loving, sweet and... awaited. It seemed like waiting for so long for things to fall into place was worth it, if it started like this.

"The party is already starting, my Seokie..."

"You better give me this kiss as a gift again by midnight."

"I will make sure to."

And that night, as the clock ticked past midnight they were the closest they could ever be. Hearts beating warmly and lovingly only for the one embraced in their arms, lips connected in a loving kiss.

It was, indeed, a very Merry Christmas.

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