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This is basically a mess I'm sorry.

If I take too long to finish something my mood changes and so does my writing so I'm sorry for this.

It also may or may not have come from that video on Twitter of the Seungcat lookalikes kissing.

Anyways, fluffy

Seungwoo X Wooseok

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Creativity is not something that comes easily. It seems like something that some people are just born with, whereas some aren't. It also seems like it doesn't matter which area, someone creative can mostly create things in multiple artistic areas after enough training. But being good at one of those things mostly raises the standard too high for other areas.

It was not different for the members. Being someone creative with music and dancing, their sensitivity towards other areas was also really strong. So members did get close to things such as drawing and photography but only informally. Wooseok specially liked both.

As an acting major, he didn't have such strong training at music, but doing acting sparked his curiosity for things like photography and filming. It was always something that bothered him, that his grade at such subjects was always the lowest. It seemed like he just didn't have such an insight to it, or so his teachers thought.

But time passed, and being as hardworking as he is, he continued trying to photograph and film as a hobby. Though he was never satisfied with his work, he did enjoy it and kept doing it. He never showed it to anyone, mostly because he didn't think it was good enough to be worth shown around.

Wooseok was pretty much glad that he had his own room. He ended up making a small area in his room for the cameras and pictures, all hidden by a blanket most of the time. Members were always pretty curious about what was behind that blanket, but when Wooseok had been so adamant in stopping them from looking, they gave up, feeling like it was something personal.

Wooseok still enjoyed it. The pictures were of the most adverse things, streets, nature, animals, and even some taken secretly of his members. They were representations of what he felt at that moment and stories he wanted to tell, everything he is and saw was somewhere beneath those tons of pictures. So whenever he needed inspiration, for a song, an acting segment or even a drawing he would search through those pictures. They helped Wooseok figure out the emotions he wanted to portray, the story he wanted to tell, so much more clearly than just thinking.

So there he was. Taking out pictures that were stuck to a panel with small red magnets. He tried to connect them, create a certain aesthetic or a story line, anything. He just let his hands take whatever caught his eyes, whatever spoke to him and whatever made him feel something.

And between those was a picture of Seungwoo. The oldest was distracted. It was right after a photoshoot and they were leaving to get into the van when it started raining. But instead of rushing inside, Seungwoo waited until all 10 members had gotten in, before he got in himself, hair already slightly damp, and the dark long sleeved shirt he was wearing had a few spots from where the rain drops hit it. Wooseok had been the first to get in. And he found then the perfect opportunity to capture the worrisome, caring look on their leader's face, waiting under the cold rain until he was completely sure everyone was there and safe. It was touching, and that's why Wooseok decided to capture that moment. That unconditional, inconsequential love and caring that seemed to be such a frequent and strong feature of their leader. It was one of the reasons why he fell in love.

So lost in his thoughts, Wooseok didn't realize the sound of someone knocking until the door opened. And he never moved so fast to try and cover all his pictures and cameras with the blanket again.

"Wooseokie?"

The older's soft voice was almost too quiet to hear, but it didn't go by unnoticed to Wooseok.

"Hi, hyung..."

"You've been here for so long, you didn't even have lunch and it's already 6 pm"

"Oh... I think I lost track of the time"

"I thought so... what were you doing?"

Seungwoo approached the younger, turning him back to where he was facing when the older arrived and gave him a side hug.

"I was... I was just trying to have an idea for a song"

Seungwoo nodded, looking around absentmindedly. The room was always so tidy, no wonder the members enjoyed staying there. But something that stood out from the tidy appearance was the piece of paper on the ground near the bed.

Seungwoo moved away, crouching to grab the paper. As he turned it over, he realized it was actually a picture. And over that a picture of himself. Wooseok was just so nervous. He wanted to stop the older, but when he realized it was already too late. So all he could do was stare, waiting for the older's reaction, what he expected being something between disappointment and being weirded out.

"You took this, Wooseokie?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry for taking it without your consent"

"You know none of us mind it. And... I'm kinda glad you took it. It's really really beautiful, Wooseokie"

"No wonder you're the leader, always so so supportive, like a parent telling his kid they did well even though they didn't"

"Well, there's a difference right there. I'm honest, and I honestly think this is very beautiful. And the fact that I don't feel like a parent toward you."

"Do you really like it? I don't think it's that great, the definition is kind of bad and the lighting isn't good"

"You know, to have a great picture, you don't need to have the perfect settings or lighting. Actually it's those small details that make the picture the best. It makes the picture able to portray all the emotions of the photographer and whatever story the photographer wanted to tell"

"And... what do you think I wanted to portray with that picture?"

"This... it feels like you feel protected. It feels like you see the character me there as someone you can rely on and someone who cares for you. I also feel like you admire him. Like you admire him for being the kind of person who cares about others. But there's also... you're worried about him. You wish you'd be able to help more, but you also don't know how to, or is afraid of doing something wrong. Am I right? Is that how you feel about me?"

"You're... very spot on, hyung"

Wooseok couldn't help but look down, embarrassed suddenly. He didn't feel like the older would be able to grasp so easily what he was feeling only through a picture. And honestly he didn't know whether that was good or bad. But as he heard the very light and soft chuckle from the older, his shoulders that he didn't notice had tensed up, suddenly relaxed. Seungwoo always had such effect on him.

"This isn't something an amateur can do, Wooseokie. You like taking pictures, right?"

"I do... but they're not worth much... they aren't so great"

Wooseok didn't realize Seungwoo had moved until the older was standing right in front of him.

"Well. To you they may look like so, but to me they're already amazing."

"You haven't even looked at them to know"

"But I know they are. Because they are you. Through this one picture I can tell you can clearly portray feelings through pictures. So each one of those pictures has a small part of you. Those pictures are you. And you're an amazing person, and so so special to me. So the pictures would be too."

Seungwoo stared as the shorter male kept his head down, staying silent. And the older just wanted to protect him and hold him close. Because it was at those times, that Wooseok showed the insecurities he held inside. The things he barely dared to tell anyone, things from the past that nagged at his heart even though he told everyone he was completely okay. And Seungwoo wished he had arrived earlier. He wished he had met that 18 year old Wooseok. Or that 20 year old Wooseok. Or that hurt 22 year old Wooseok. He just wished he had had the opportunity to care of him. Because even though many people couldn't see it, Seungwoo saw them clearly. Those scars the younger tried so hard to hide. And that Seungwoo so badly wished had never ever been made. But he couldn't turn back time. So all he could do was try and heal them. Try to erase those pains, or at least treat them until they didn't hurt as much. But putting down the youngerster's walls was still so hard.

"I'm being cheesy, right? I know, I like being cheesy to you, cause you look cute when you're all embarrased"

Seungwoo said in a teasing tone, a smile taking over his features. It was not exactly what he wanted to say. But he had seen he had stepped over a line. And the last thing he wanted to do was to make the younger uncomfortable.

"Ah... I see..."

Seungwoo frowned as the reaction was still bad. He didn't know exactly what to do to make the younger feel better, he also wasn't the kind to have many words. Wooseok was actually the one who was the best at speaking. So Seungwoo retorted to what he knew better. And pulled the other Male's small body into a hug. And what caused more shock to him was when Wooseok hugged him back so tightly.

Seungwoo started saying something, when Wooseok just buried his head more into the older's chest. Their height and their bodies seemed to fit perfectly well. Wooseok's shorter and smaller body fit perfectly into the arms of Seungwoo's taller and broader built.

"Don't... don't say anything... just let me be"

Wooseok said so softly and quietly, but right then, the only thing in Seungwoo's mind was the small vocalist right in his arms.

Wooseok honestly didn't know why he was acting like that. He wasn't the type to be clingy towards someone, nor the kind to be so soft when someone did skinship to him so suddenly. But in Seungwoo's arms... it didn't matter. He just wanted to stay there. Seungwoo was right. The older made him feel protected, safe, and was someone he admired so much. He just couldn't suddenly pull away from someone that was so special to him. And Seungwoo having just told him how special the younger was for him too just made him weaker.

But Seungwoo knew. If Wooseok needs him to stay there at that position for three seconds, twenty minutes or three hours, it didn't matter. He would still do it if it meant anything good to the younger. Even if he was just being used.

"Wooseokie... is there anything you need to say?"

After much longer than Wooseok wanted the hug to last, but couldn't bring himself to pull away, Seungwoo broke the silence. And Wooseok found then the chance to pull away and sit down on the bed. He couldn't let himself become even weaker.

"Not really... why?"

"Because I care about you a lot. And because sometimes I can see that you're hurting, but still hide it all from us. Probably not to worry the younger members."

Seungwoo sat down on the other's bed as well, his back resting against the pillows Wooseok kept so that he didn't have to rest against the cold wall. Almost as an habit, Seungwoo wrapped an arm around the smaller's shoulders.

"I think..."

"Don't tell me I misunderstood. Wooseokie, sometimes you forget that we come from similar pasts. I also feel some things you feel, and you know... sometimes I wish you'd share those pains with me. Because, not gonna lie... I get scared too sometimes."

At the mention of his leader, his precious oldest member hurting or being scared, Wooseok looked up. And Seungwoo recognized the same expression the younger had right then, as the expression the leader had in the picture.

"Scared of what, hyung?"

"Scared of how much you're hiding. I know what went on in your past, and I know how hard it must have had been to go through all of that. But also... I don't know how much of that still affects you, still hurts you, and how many of your smiles and laughs and "I'm fine"s are true or not. And it hurts me to even know that there's a possibility that... most of them aren't. I wish so so much that I could just take all your pains and sufferings and take them myself, just so that you could be happy. And I'm sorry for suddenly ranting, and suddenly spilling all this over you, but I can't. I want to be close to you and take care of you, and make sure you're always as happy as you can be. You're just too special to me for me to be able to bear seeing you hurting"

And Wooseok felt like crying. He felt like crying seeing the distressed expression on the older's face as they stared at each other. He felt like crying because knowing his hyung was hurting and being so worried because of him made him feel guilty. And he had said before: if you want to cry, just cry, until you feel better. And he wished it hadn't become an habit to follow that so thoroughly.

So Wooseok stood up. Pacing around a bit, but always keeping his back towards the older. He didn't want him to be more worried, seeing the tears going down his cheeks. Because that was just what the younger was. A weak crybaby, or so the younger thought.

But it didn't escape from Seungwoo. Seungwoo already knew the younger well enough to know what the small shake of those shoulders and the fidgeting of his fingers on the baggy clothes meant. And it just hurt so bad. But Seungwoo also knew Wooseok didn't like it when people saw him cry. So he decided on a different approach.

Seungwoo stood up, looking around a bit before taking a sleep mask and putting it on, right after opening his arms.

"I know you don't like it when people see you cry. But I also know the best way to console someone is a hug. So come, I am not looking, I promise"

Wooseok took a while to turn, not knowing what exactly to expect. But seeing Seungwoo with open arms, head leaned back wearing his sleep mask was both reassuring and kind of goofy. Just like Seungwoo himself.

So Wooseok decided to just give in. And threw himself against Seungwoo, making the two stumble a bit but quickly regain balance. Seungwoo held the younger against his chest, one arm around the other's waist and the other holding the back of the youngerster's neck, lightly caressing his hair. Wooseok just wrapped both arms around the older's torso, letting himself become small right there.

It was different from the first hug. Rather than being calming and reassuring, this time it was almost... craving. Like both just wanted the other as close as possible, not only physically but emotionally.

And, with his body so close to Wooseok's, Seungwoo could feel him slightly shaking while crying, feeling his shirt starting to get damp. The older just kept holding him, caressing his hair and back. Slowly the younger seemed to calm down, the shaking and quiet sniffling subsiding. Seungwoo still didn't move nor took off the sleep mask, not wanting to make Wooseok uncomfortable or awkward. But it was the younger who lightly pulled away and took off the sleep mask from the older's face, very carefully.

And god, how could someone who had just cried look so absolutely beautiful? Wooseok's face was a bit red and puffy, his eyes still glistening from the tears, and light tear tracks on his cheeks. He still looked stunning in Seungwoo's eyes.

Seungwoo slowly moved the hand that was holding the youngster's neck to cup his cheek, not breaking eye contact with the other. The older slightly caressed Wooseok's smooth skin, wiping away the tear tracks and just admiring him. His face just looked unbelievable. Like it was too perfectly formed to be true.

"Hyung..."

Wooseok's voice came out shaky and quiet, immediately making Seungwoo alarmed.

"Yes, Wooseokie?"

"Thank you... I'm sorry for worrying you about my things. I didn't think you thought so deeply about me, and I really don't want to cause you any stress..."

"Of course I think about you, Seokie. You have no idea how much I want to stay with you, protect you, just... to be beside you. All I want to do is make sure you're happy"

"My happiness can only be complete when you're with me, letting me love you to the fullest"

Wooseok wanted to answer that, but of course he couldn't. He couldn't ruin the friendship he had with Seungwoo, specially not because of feelings he couldn't bring himself to control.

"But you also got other 9 members relying on you, hyung... I can't take you for myself like that"

"Well... but having you by my side is what makes me able to let them rely on me. Knowing you're okay... it already makes my day, Wooseokie. Seeing you smile, seeing you play around, seeing you able to rely on the other members, that's what gives me the most strenght. I do love the members, I do love seeing them happy but... it's different when I'm with you, Wooseokie..."

"Well... it's different to me too..."

Wooseok answers so quietly it was almost inaudible. But Seungwoo caught it. And his mind immediately was filled with a turbulent flow of thoughts, taking up every single lacking space in his brain. What did that mean? Was it different in the same sense? Did Wooseok actually figure out his feelings? God, did he completely mess up?

"Different? How different?"

"The same as you... when you smile... when you hug me, when you take care of me... I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest... but at the same time it feels so warm and calm..."

Wooseok got nervous as he got no reaction for the next few seconds. But then, slowly he saw Seungwoo's lips slowly turning upwards, and his heart fluttered, like it always did when he saw Seungwoo smile.

"Kim Wooseok... Please be mine."

And it was time for Seungwoo's heart to almost stop as there was no immediate reaction. But Wooseok's mind was just too busy to be able to answer. His mind was occupied with all the possible meanings of that one sentence that could lead to something he wouldn't like. Wooseok just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Han Seungwoo seemed to be confessing to him. And Seungwoo saw it. He saw the jittery eyes of the younger male shaking and looking everywhere, almost as if to try and organize the gears in his brain to form something coherent. Seungwoo thought it was now or never.

"Wooseok, be mine. Not like an X1 member or my friend, be mine as my lover. I like you, and I want to be with you as lovers. And dont feel pressured to accept just because I like you and you want to see me happy, but because you want to be selfish for once and make me yours to make you happy. So? Will you be mine so that you're happy, Kim Wooseok?"

Seungwoo knew the younger well enough. He knew that if someone confessed to Wooseok, and it was someone Wooseok cherished a lot but not romantically, the younger would still try and be with that person. That's the kind of selfless person he is: putting others' happiness before his own. But right then, all Seungwoo wanted was for the smaller male to be selfish. Be selfish and decide in favor of his own happiness, even if it meant a rejection.

Wooseok's head slowly tilted up from how he was looking down before. Their eyes met, and Wooseok continued silent. Seungwoo could almost feel Wooseok's heart beating from how close they were. They had let go of each other long ago, but kept their bodies close, chests very few inches from touching. And someone finally broke the silence.

"You told me to be selfish, right?"

Seungwoo slowly nodded, waiting for any sign of what the other's answer would be. Sometimes Wooseok was the hardest to read.

"Don't regret it then"

And the voice that spoke was laced with so much confidence it was almost numbing. Sometimes Wooseok had that. That strong charisma that showed he wasn't only a pretty glass doll, but someone strong enough to fight for his dreams. He was that weird mix. Selfless but determined, and it was up to you to figure out which side he would show you and how to act around it.

And Seungwoo figured it out fast. The extreme change in character showing on how in milliseconds Wooseok had put their bodies together again, wrapping his arms around the older's neck and pulling him down enough to make their lips collide. And it was, again, craving. From both sides. It was messy, passionate, and Seungwoo reacted quickly, holding the smaller by the waist and pulling him even closer.

It wasn't something the older imagined. Lips and tongue always meeting midway, craving for the other, reaching out again quickly right after retreating. And it was like the suppressed feelings of months were being let out, but desperately, rapidly and passionately.

Wooseok was the first to pull away, breathing irregular and lips almost bruised. Seungwoo wasn't much different, except for the sudden shyness that suddenly hit the younger, which was nowhere close to the way Seungwoo wasn't embarrassed even one bit by the way he couldn't take his eyes off the younger.

"I will never regret it. Be selfish all you want, I'll take it very gladly"

Seungwoo said quietly, voice lower and even slightly raspy. Wooseok hid his face again on the other's chest, letting out a quiet whine, probably embarrassed by what he just did. Seungwoo chuckled quietly, stroking the back of the youngerster's head.

"You know you make me mad like that, right? You're cute, then you turn into this charismatic prince, then you're back to being a cutie. That's mean, playing with my heart like that."

"And you're the one to talk... you're even worse, Han Seungwoo"

Wooseok's voice was muffled by Seungwoo's chest, but the older was still able to hear it and smiled brightly.

"Already dropping formalities? Alright, baby, we can already do that"

The response came as a fist weakly hitting the older's chest, only enough to make him giggle. Seungwoo suddenly held the youngerster's wrist, keeping him from hitting again, and when the younger reached with his other hand to free himself, Seungwoo only gripped his other wrist as well. He pulled the younger off his chest, not letting go of his wrists and leaning down to look at Wooseok's red face.

"You're so cute now, Wooseokie"

"Shush"

"I'm just saying the truth, kitten"

Wooseok cutely scrunched his nose, obviously annoyed, but in Seungwoo's eyes it just got cuter. As the older opened his mouth to speak again, Wooseok used the way Seungwoo was holding his wrists in place to pull the other forward, pecking his lips.

"Told you to shush"

"You're... a pretty mystery box, Kim Wooseok"

"And will you take on the challenge to discover it all?"

"Of course"

Wooseok giggled as he was pulled in again by the waist, Seungwoo smiling back as he cupped the youngerster's cheek. The older pecked his lips again before starting to cover his face in little pecks, making Wooseok giggle.

"Hyung..."

Wooseok whined, trying to pull away from the kisses.

"Yes, baby?"

"I wanna remember this"

"I'll make sure you'll never forget it"

"Not like that, hyung..."

Wooseok pulled away, crouching down to get the forgotten picture on the ground. Before Seungwoo barely reacted, the younger had already taken off the blanket from his precious corner. The taller male rushed over, staring dumbfoundedly at all the pictures. He just found every single one amazing.

Wooseok pinned the picture back in place on the magnetic board. When he looked to the side the other's expression was adorable, staring at every single picture attentively. Seungwoo had his mouth slightly open as he smiled softly looking at the pictures, when Wooseok took the chance to get his camera and take a picture.

"Am I a new addition to your collection now?"

"Yep, and you probably will be again and again"

Seungwoo smiled, moving closer to look at the camera over Wooseok's shoulder.

"Let me do something"

The older took the camera from the smaller's hands, turning the lenses towards them and kissing Wooseok's temple before snapping a picture.

"There you go, for us to remember this"

"First one of many, right?"

Wooseok giggled before taking the camera and putting it down, soon turning to look at Seungwoo. The older smiled brightly at the younger, before embracing him tightly.

"First one of as many as you want"

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