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It's late so I try and sneak into my house trying to not wake anyone up. I make it past the living room and the kitchen, sighing relieved I get to my door. Opening the door I'm instantly greeted by my mom who's sitting on my bed waiting "Mitchell do you know-"

"It's almost midnight mom" I reply knowing what she's about to ask me "I'm sorry but Jax was going through something and he needed me"

I drop my bag "yeah I got the text. Is he ok?"

"No..." I reply trying to avoid an explanation. Taking off my jacket and shoes I turn to my mom who's still sitting on my bed "can I go to bed please?" I ask her

"You're not gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"Mom I doubt you'll understand"

She stands up walking until she gets to me, my mom is very short so I have to look down at her "give me a chance Mitchell! You have to share this with someone." She's upset and I don't blame her

"I'm worried about Jax" I sigh dropping on my bed "I feel like I pressured him into being with me"

"Wait what?!" She asks sitting in my computer chair and rolls it over to face me "you and Jax are...?"

"I haven't told you this yet but on Saturday night, when Jax came back we told each other how we felt and kinda started a... thing?" I'm still unsure what to call it

"Wow" she sits back in shocked "you're gay huh?" She chuckles

I give her a look "seriously mom that's what's important right now?"

"You're right no, but also yes but we'll talk about that later. Continue with the other thing you were saying"

"When Jax woke up from his coma Summer pressured him into flying thousands of miles away, when he got back I threw myself at him. No one gave him time to cope. Summer and I found him in the same room he was stuck in during the fire today, he thought he was ready, but he froze in there mom, the same corner crying." I get sadder and sadder thinking about it.

"Mitch that's so heavy" she gets up and sits next to me, pulling my head to her she holds it on her shoulder "no one but you will know how that tragedy affected you"

"Unless I say something"

"Exactly"

"But Jax never said anything"

"That's no ones fault honey"

"We're all to blame."

My mom leaves my room after a while and I climb in bed unable to do anything else.

What the fuck am I doing?! I feel like I've just been winging the past few days and I've been so selfish lately, none of this should've ever been about me. I just wanted to be with Jax so bad that I was willing to force it, I should've slowed down when he got back from Bora Bora. He just said he loved me and that was all I was willing to hear, something's been wrong this whole time and I didn't even notice.

Waking up from a nap I hear my phone going off, sitting up I stare at the screen. I quickly answer "hi"

"Did I scare you off?" He sounds so sad

"What? No. I just wanted to give you and your mom sometime alone she was worried"

"I spoke to her" he talks so slow. The phone goes quiet then I hear his breath slowly shortening

"Jax?"

"I really need you right now Mitch" he quietly cries "I'm so scared"

"Don't worry I'm on my way" I rush out of bed quickly throwing my clothes and shoes on. Grabbing the things I need I rush downstairs, my mom and Liv are in the kitchen. Walking in "hey mom can I talk to you for a sec?" I say really fast

Getting out of her chair she looks at me weird, pulling her away from Liv I don't stop until we're far enough "why are you breathing so hard?" she takes her arm away from me "and where are you going?"

"Jax needs me mom"

"Mitchell come on he has his parents he'll be ok! It's too late to be going to his house"

"Mom please understand!" I try to keep my voice down "he's dealing with something and it's my fault, please let me be there for him" I stare into her eyes waiting for her to say no "...please mom" I whisper

"What the hell are you doing Mitch?!" She tries not to yell

"I don't know"

Sighing loudly "fine! Go... but your butt better be at school tomorrow!" She points in my face

"Yes it will be"

"The whole day!" She barks

"Yes yes I promise"

"Get out before I change my mind" she pushes me

Coming close I kiss her on the cheek "thank you! Love you, bye" without waiting for her to reply I rush out of the door.

Mindlessly driving to Jax's house I somehow make it without hitting or getting hit by a car.

Standing behind the front door Jax opens it and takes my hand pulling me in the house. We quietly walk to his room and as soon as we get in he locks it and hugs me, squeezing tight. "It's ok... I'm right here" I hold his small frame between my arms.

Jax and I lay in his bed and he lays his head on my chest, I slowly rub his back so he can fall asleep "I was crying..." he says quietly against my chest

"What?" I look down at him

"That day when I left upset, I started crying and I was so zoned out I didn't realize what was going on before it was too late"

"I'm so sorry I was such a clueless jerk"

He scoffs "took you long enough." That's the last thing I remember saying.

I hear quiet noises come from Jax's side as I slowly wake up. He quietly cries balled up on the other side of the bed facing away from me "hey" I whisper

"Sorry" his voice barely makes it out

Turning the lamp next to me on I look at him and he's practically shaking "what's wrong?"

"Just a bad dream" he sniffles and I turn off the light and lay behind him wrapping my arm around him spooning him, he grabs it holding it tight against his chest 

"You're ok now" I rest my head near his, we fall asleep like that.

Next morning my alarm goes off waking me up, I look down to Jax sleeping on my chest. Reaching in my pocket I turn my phone off. I watch Jax as he sleep, he looks so peaceful.

Slowly getting out of bed I sneak out to the bathroom to get ready for school.

After my shower I stand in front of the mirror with a towel around my waist about to brush my teeth. As I'm brushing my teeth Jax walks in "you're awake" I say after spitting in the sink and rinsing my mouth

"Yeah... you weren't going to wake me up?"

"No" I turn to him "figured you'd stay in and rest"

"I don't want to be here alone"

Grabbing his face I move my head to his until our noses are touching "I know" I kiss him. Jax goes back to his room and I get dressed, walking in his room "Summer will be here right after lunch and as soon as I get out I'll be over ok?" He nods, walking over to his bed I sit on it and pull him to me hugging him "I love you"

Wrapping his arms around me he rest his head on my shoulder "I love you too."

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