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Waking up to the sound of my alarm I feel around until I find my phone, opening my eyes I read the time it's 7am. Turning off the alarm I sit up remembering I'm not in my room, Jax's side of the bed is empty. Picking my shirt up from the floor I put it on and walk out of his room. I walk around his house until I find him sitting on the counter in the kitchen blowing into a mug. I stand at the kitchen entrance watching as the sun beam through the window and hits him perfectly, he looks like he's glowing. Looking up from his mug he sees me standing across from him, his teeth peek out of his perfect smile as he cheeks rise when he sees me "good morning"

"Good morning" I walk to him standing between his legs "what time did you wake up?"

"Not that long ago, I wanted to shower before you got up, it takes me forever to get ready in the morning" he chuckles and puts his mug down. Resting his arms on my shoulders he runs his fingers through my hair and against my ears. Finally he kisses me, holding his waist firmly I pull him closer and closer to me until our everything is touching. Jax's hands tug on my shirt as we kiss, pulling away from his lips I go for his neck burying my face there I trail kisses up and down his neck. Moans escape his mouth as his hands grip and squeeze my arms and back, I can feel how good I'm making him feel because he's digging his fingernails into my skin. "Oh my god we have to stop" he moans, I know he doesn't mean it because he's holding me so tight so I don't pull away "Mi-Mitch please..." he whispers begging. I finally pull away and he tries to catch his breath

I smile "I should get ready"

"Ye-yeah you do that" he replies stuttering still hot and bothered, I step out from between his legs. "Come on" he jumps off the counter. He walks past me and I follow until we get to the bathroom. "Here's some fresh towels" he puts them near the sink, walking to the shower he turns the water on "let it run for a bit so it can warm up"

"Ok" it's not a big bathroom so we're pretty close to each other, and he continues to stand there looking at me as if he wants something. Taking my shirt off I watch as his eyes trail down to my chest and stomach, with a sneaky grin I ask "you want to join me?"

"Huh?" He looks up snapping out of it "n-no I'll wait umm d-downstairs" he stammers then quickly rushes out of the bathroom shutting the door behind him.

"Ready" I grab my bag after showering and getting ready, and walk to Jax waiting in the living room.

"Listen" he starts as he walks to me "if you're not ready for people to know about us yet I totally understand"

"I never want you to feel like you have to stop yourself if you want to kiss me, or hug me, or hold my hand. I'm your boyfriend"

Jax smiles "boyfriend?"

"Look Jax I have absolutely no idea what being gay is like or what I'm in for, but for some reason I'm not scared or worried anymore. I don't care about the labels, I care about you so whatever that makes me I'm ok with it"

Reaching out to my face Jax strokes my cheek slowly "I'm not worried either, I've just been trying to take things slow because I know you're new to all of it, I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for"

"Do you mean sex?" I put the question out there

He takes his hand away "yes" he answers uncomfortably "have you thought about it?"

"I don't think we have time to discuss that right now" I point to the clock

"You're right" we leave his house.

•—•

"Are you ready?" I turn to Jax after parking the car. I can tell he's nervous "you'll be ok" I take his hand

"I know, I'm ready."

Getting out the car Jax and I walk to the entrance together, everyone's here and the school looks kind of different "I have my meeting with the counselor first so I'll see you in a little bit ok"

He nods trying to hide his frown "ok I'll find you later."

The school called our houses last week and scheduled a meeting with the counselor for every student so we can talk about how the fire made us feel. Total waste of time but at least I don't have to go to first period.

Walking into the counselor's office I stop at the front desk "I have a meeting at 8:30"

Scanning her list "yes Mitchell! Good morning sweetie, have a seat Mrs. Rivera will be out any second"

"Thank you" I sit in one of the waiting chairs across her desk.

Few minutes later the office door swings open and she scans the room then stops at me "come on in" she calls me over, standing up and picking up my bag I walk in and she shuts the door "Mitchell right?" She walks behind her desk and sits

"Yeah Mitch" I stand by the door

"You like Mitch instead ok good." She stands up and grabs a box of tissues from her desk "over here" she walks over to a corner of her office where there's a couch and a chair facing it "you sit here and I'll sit there and we'll have a little chat"

"Ok." Placing the tissue box in front of me I look at her weird, why the fuck would I need a box of tissues?

"First of all welcome back I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting, I'm Dr. Rivera but everyone calls me Trudy, for the next hour we're going to be talking about the fire that happened few weeks ago, and if after our meeting you feel like you still need more time to talk then we will schedule weekly meetings. Sounds good?" She smiles

"Great."

"Awesome let's get started, can you remember where you were when the fire started?"

"Ummm I was sitting in an empty classroom listening to music"

"Then you heard the alarms?"

"No I had headphones in my ears so I couldn't hear anything, but someone ran in the class room and got my attention long enough to realize that the school was on fire"

"Hmm" she writes in her notepad, I've barely said anything why is she writing so soon? "and what was your first instinct at that moment?"

"To find my sister Liv and make sure she was ok"

"Did you find her?"

"Yeah"

"So you guys made it out safe?"

"She did"

Fixing herself in her chair "what do you mean? Tell me more"

"One of my... friends was still missing as everyone was being rushed outside I realized he was probably still in there so I ran back in and-"

"You found him?"

"Yeah he was in study hall right next to where the fire started"

"You were standing in the core of the fire Mitch, what were you thinking at the time?"

"Umm that the boy I..." I find myself wanting to say love but I stop myself not wanting to over share "he was in there, the door was covered in fire and there was barely anytime left"

"So you find your way into that room, tell me what's the first thing you see"

"Jax's lifeless body in a corner..." I feel myself going back to that day "I didn't know what to do, he was dying. So I picked him up and tried my hardest to get him out of that room"

"And did you?"

"Yes, but we didn't make it very far because I collapsed and woke up in the hospital hours later." When I woke up that day I was trying so hard not to think of the worst, I thought I lost Jax.

"Have you talked to anyone else about how the fire made you feel? What were the emotions you were feeling when you found him stuck in that room?"

"I- I don't umm..." how can I explain what it would've felt like to lose Jax "I didn't feel anything, my whole body was numb. He was hurt and I wasn't there to protect him."

She writes down some more then looks back up at me "tell me more about Jax, it sounds like you two are very close" closer than you think

"Jax is umm special to me, he spent a week in a coma and before the fire we got into a fight, I spent a week thinking that he was stuck in that fire and it was my fault"

"You know it wasn't right? There's no way you could've possibly known there would be a fire to protect him from."

We continue to talk and I felt like I got it all out of my system, but Trudy thinks I should come back and see her next week so we can talk more about Jax. "I'll see you next Monday, same time?" She smiles as I walk out of her office

"Sure" I reply then leave.

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