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     Lorn looked edible in a beanie.

     Verger seriously felt the need to munch on his head whenever he glanced at the man, walking next to him down the street. The beanie stood loose on his head, but kept his hair straight and pinned around his strong face. Sure, it made him look like a drug dealer, especially with the bruises under his eyes that had yet to fade, but he pulled it off greatly.

     And then the movements of his jaw as he munched BBQ flavored Mexicorn... Verger admitted to himself that his friend was attractive.

     "So how was the sex anyway?" Lorn asked lightly, glancing down to brush some crumbles off his oversized t-shirt.

     Verger pursed his lips and glanced forwards in time to dodge a passing bike, nudging Lorn. After glancing back after the man, he sighed contently. "Haven't had such a big dick in a while."

     Lorn laughed, failing to get the second meaning behind that. "Hah, that good, huh. Man, it's been a while since I did it."

     "When was your last time?" Verger asked.

     "Four days ago, on Wednesday."

     Verger squinted. "We hanged out most of Wednesday."

     "Yeah, remember the pizza place we've been to? I went to the bathroom at some point."

     "Dude!" Verger groaned and Lorn laughed wickedly. "Who was it?"

     "Your mom."

     Verger rolled his eyes.

     "Hah, but she was a mom. You know, the woman with the crying twins?"

      "That is disgusting."

     "You kidding me?" Lorn's voice took a drastic pitch. "Well how was your girl better, huh?"

     "My girl?" Verger raised a daring eyebrow.

     "Yes, your girl."

     "Funny thing you say that." Verger turned to look at him and come out with it, when something caught his eye and made him stop on his tracks. "Fuck."

     This had to be the Placebo effect.

     He really had managed to push that kleptomaniac side of him to the back of his brain, and got as far as forgetting of it over the years. But it took Lorn pointing it out yesterday to bring that side back to life, not necessarily to domination, just spark that was stronger than the dull twitch of the temple he'd experience once or twice a week.

     And now the spark was sprinkled down his body and into his veins. He could feel them pulsing in his wrists as he stared at the wide window of the shop, his reflection blurry since he was focused on... on a lamp.

     "Verger." Lorn murmured, his reflection joining Verger's, who looked a little deader than usual on the outside. Half closed eyes and hunched back as always, but his jaw was clenched and his gaze distant.

     "I want that." he tapped the glass with his finger quickly.

     "A lamp- what the fuck, you said you were past that shit."

     "It's your fault."

     "Dude. When I said it's a bad thing to stop stealing once you live on Viscount Street, I was referring to food and clothes and... shit, not lamps! You have six! And one of them looks identical to that one."

     "Nu-uh, the body on this one is of steel. And the shade is orange, not sky-red."

     "Fuck you dude, seriously." Lorn laughed and walked away a couple steps, looking around at the passing people with an amused smirk before glancing back.

     Verger was no longer there.

     With a curse, Lorn walked back to the shop and looked through the window. Verger was facing him, well he was turned towards him but his head was bent to gawk at the lamp, his hood over his head.

     Growling, Lorn pulled the beanie down his head. It was one of those with the hole at the top, and could be used as a neck warmer. Hiding half of his face, he entered too. Because he'd came to realize that being near Verger in that shop required hiding his face from cameras.

     "Seriously this is ridiculous." Lorn gripped his elbow, but the man still got to flick the thing on. His eyes widened despite the orange light against them and his happy smile turned shady.

     Verger hugged the lamp and ran.

     Lorn raised his hand after the slamming door then ran it through his hair, glancing at the employee. The guy already had his phone at the ear, and Lorn took a wild guess and deduced he wasn't ordering pizza.

-------

     "We're not friends anymore!" Lorn screamed to the man running ahead of him. He had to in order to overcome the police siren.

     The car was following them by the road while they pushed their way through the crowd on the sidewalk. Lorn had nothing to do with this, but he had ran from the scene so that ultimately made him guilty. That, and he couldn't let the idiot ahead by himself in all this.

     Then the road and the sidewalk were going left. The friends couldn't possibly go left since the car was there, and so Lorn went faster and managed to grip Verger's elbow before pulling him back.

     An old lady was just about to enter the building to the right, and he dragged Verger there, rudely pushing past her and straight into the elevator.

     "Young men, young men please wait!" Lorn and Verger froze, glaring at each other. "There's no way I can carry these bags with my spinal disc herniation, using the stairs no less!"

     Lorn growled and pushed the door open, Verger on his trails. Lorn took the bags and Verger led the lady by the elbow to the elevator, and then they went.

     "Floor seven." she smiled, rubbing Verger's bicep while slightly rocking on the elevator music.

     "We'll go out at five, you keep going." Lorn murmured, not wanting the policemen to know the floor they stopped at.

     "Rude...These who don't respect they elders don't know which way they came and which way they go." she wisely preached, just before the lift stopped. "Also nice lamp you got there, dear."

     "Thank you!" Verger smiled, picking it up and exiting.

     "Okay now wha-" Lorn stopped when he heard steps approaching from downstairs. "How many the fuck are there!" he hissed, glancing down to see many, many hands gripping the railings.

     "Okay um..." Verger looked around in panic. He thought that if they were in a hurry, they might not notice them standing by the door since the stairs were a little away, but he couldn't take risks. "Okay got it."

     He pulled his (Lorn's) sleeveless hoodie off him, his head no longer covered and probed a door, finding it open. He darted the hoodie there, snatched Lorn's neck warmer/beanie off and did the same, before gently placing the lamp down and closing the door.

     "Kiss me." he whisper-yelled in order to be heard over the loud steps.

     "Fuck no!" the man whisper-screeched, but Verger gripped his hair and pulled him in, connecting their lips.

     Lorn's hands raised with twitches, but then he slammed then on Verger's head and responded, his experienced plump lips sliding over Verger's in jerky strides.

     Verger was enjoying it more than he should. Tucked safely with the man covering him in a hunch, feeling him so close, the hands in his hair hesitantly gripping his strands despite the dominant mouth pressing into his.

     Verger let his back arch into the kiss, his arms falling limp around his shoulders. He tried, but couldn't keep his tongue on leash, and before he knew it he was licking the aftertaste of BBQ in Lorn's mouth.

     The man shook at that, but just pushed himself into Verger, pinning him on the wall for measure when the policemen showed, thudding up the stairs.

     Only one of them paused with an 'Ugh' darted their way before continuing. Verger tiled his head into the kiss to watch the blurry shapes go, five of them.

     When Lorn went to pull back, he tugged him. "There're more." he croaked, slamming their mouths back together and sniffing deeply as if trying to remember the scent of the kiss.

     "There aren't!" Lorn snapped after pulling back with a smooch.

     Verger pecked him once again. "My bad." he panted, turning around and opening the door only to stop on his tracks.

     A guy was crouched down, hands placed on the lamp's shade. It was plugged in, the light reflecting in his wide, sleepless eyes, contouring all the shadows of his skeletal face.

     "This is the enlightenment. I am being illuminated." he whispered. "The Illuminati has found me at last. Or... have I found them?"

     Verger glanced back, then pulled Lorn in once he heard steps coming down and closed the door. Just then the stranger gawked at the two of them before standing up.

     "I cannot believe I am meeting two members in person. This is... a revolutionary day for me." he sniffled, eyes tearing up. "I've been searching for you since I knew how to add numbers! I go by the name of Oasis but surely you know my real one!"

     Lorn and Verger exchanged glances, then looked at him. "Um, here's the deal." Lorn began, but Oasis flailed his hands.

     "No, no, come and sit we have lots to talk about! May I serve you with..." he glanced around as if being in his flat for the first time. "Hot faucet water?"

     "Um."

     "Hah, no one pays you to be a genius." Oasis joked with the same straight face, even his laughter neutral. "Sit." he pointed to a room to his left, then excitedly swayed to the kitchen part of the small hallway they were in. His dinner table was an ironing table...

     Lorn and Verger cautiously stepped in the second and only other room of the apartment. The walls were entirely covered with newspapers and scribbles and the ceiling was grey and scraped, with a dull light bulb swaying in the middle. They barely found the couch in that light, since even the window was covered by paper.

     They sat down with rustles of the papers on the cushions and exchanged another glance.

     "Okay." Oasis entered the room with two mugs, one of them cracked and spilling slightly. "Let's talk."

--------

     "What the fuck do you mean you're not part of Illuminati! You just stole a fucking lamp and ran from the police with it?! Who'd be that fucking mad?" Oasis screamed in Verger's face, gripping his collar.

     "Surely there are... madder people than me... out there somewhere." Verger murmured, tilting his head away to see Lorn choke himself with a pillow in order to laugh freely.

     "Don't do this to me. Are you testing me? Is that it? After all I've done!" Oasis's chin started trembling. "It's not fair."

     "Don't cry... Look- okay, you got us." Verger laughed, and Oasis raised an eyebrow. "We were testing your belief in us. You're doing good so far, you're just missing a little something." he patted the hand gripping his collar until it let go. Then, he glanced around and pointed randomly. "That newspaper."

     Oasis's big, awed eyes gazed at and he gasped, glancing back. "That? Really! I knew the blond at the wishing well was connected to the poker player somehow! The clue has something to do with eight of spades, hasn't it?" [why not (sequel to victim)]

     "Yes, yes."

     "And they sent you personally just to help me out?" Oasis grinned, somehow managing to sit on the coffee table that only had three legs.

     "Well, not really... we just... admired you from afar." Lorn decided to help out. "And saw you were kind of rusty as of late, so yeah."

     Oasis nodded enthusiastically. "You think I'm fucking dumb don't you." he grinned. "Get the fuck out of my apartment before I gut you."

-------

     "Ah shit, it's locked." Lorn swatted the metal door leading to the roof. It wasn't safe to leave just yet, the policemen most probably outside.

     Verger nudged him out of the way to retrieve a ring of keys, from which he picked the tiniest one that fit the padlock.

     "What? How?" Lorn squinted.

     "Stole it from Oasis." Verger grinned sheepishly, opening the door and stepping out.

     "What have I awakened..."

     Once Verger locked it after them, they moved to the edge wall, on which Verger placed the lamp and over which Lorn glanced down and tsked.

     "They're still there all right." he sighed, looking around the city. "The fuck are they so hot over a lamp."

     "It's not about the lamp, it's about catching thieves. The less the better." Verger shrugged, joining in admiring the view.

     The warehouse was even more admirable from there, the angle let them see it whole, not just from below. Entirely metallic grey with crashed windows, a couple shards falling just then. There were three antennas on its top, the cables trailing from one to another and to other buildings like thin webs of spider.

     But the city stretched far beyond it. Viscount Street was just a tiny part of it, that dark smudge at the corner of a good drawing. You'd want to erase it, but don't in fear it might get worse. Literally speaking, authorities would like to devastate the street, the buildings were near collapsing anyway, but that would end up in every inhabitant starting a riot and slashing throats all around.

     "Are you happy?" Lorn asked sarcastically. "Was it worth it, Verger?"

     "Yes." Verger trailed a finger down the lamp's steel body. "Come on, it was fun."

     Lorn scoffed. "Sure." he rubbed his face up and down, then sighed and turned to lean on the edge wall, the wind blowing his hair majestically. He waited for a couple crows to fly above their heads, then spoke. "So what were we talking on anyway, you looked determined to say something."

     Verger turned at him with raised eyebrows and looked to the side, tapping the wall thoughtfully. He searched the grey clouds, peeked behind them in case the sky had a clue, and it seemed the dull sun knew something because he remembered.

     "That's right, you asked me about my girl and I was going to say that I am gay."

     Lorn let his eyelids cover his eyes halfway and then rolled his head towards Verger. The position contoured his jaw and neck nicely.

     "Ha."

     Verger nodded, pacing away with his hands in pockets. "I will let that sink in." he turned around and rubbed his nose with a dry sniff.

     Lorn straightened his head. His eyebrows remained straight lines above his now squinting eyes, and one of his nostrils flared.

     "Verger." he deadpanned.

     "Oh, good, the name-calling hasn't started yet. It means you have yet to grasp it. Come on now, focus, say it with me." he took a breath. "Verger likes dick."

     "Shut up." Lorn pushed himself from the wall. "Come on, quit... God damn it Verger what the hell! Seriously?"

     "As serious as cancer Lorn."

     "This isn't funny, you can't just up and say that!" Lorn snapped. "You tell people that kind of shit!"

     "Yeah, I should've just went 'How's the weather Lorn? Oh is that a dick shaped cloud 'cause if it is then I wanna become a spaceman'."

     "Shut the fuck up!" Lorn pressed his palms to his forehead. "This is the most ridiculous day of my life. Lamp, police, old lady, Illuminati, homo? The fuck is up with this world!"

     "I know right, where's Hitler when you need him."

     "Gah!" Lorn croaked. "Just let me..." he gazed into distance with his face twisting slowly. "Fuck, when you talked about Cuddle-bear..."

     Verger nodded.

     "That is disgusting!" Lorn yelled as a matter of fact. "That is vomitous!"

     "Hey now, he's a sweetheart."

     "And when you said you saw someone attractive you meant someone at the table and not the waitress? And- and when you talked about that Nigerian from high school you meant a dude? Shit your ass must be a fucking maze!" he shuddered with a twisted face as if he just ate lemon.

     "You won't believe my mouth."

     "I'll punch you in the throat just-" Lorn waved his hands, then placed them on his hips and looked around. "You tell your friends these stuff, man, does whats-his-face know?" he let a second pass before his face went blank. "Lionel is the Nigerian high school thing you were talking about and you had sex with him before my fight."

     "That'd be a cool thriller novel title."

     Lorn made some more motions.

     "Stop that, you'll knock it over." Verger eyed the lamp, then his voice faded off as he considered the anger in his friend's eyes.

     "You are fucking weird. It's not even funny anymore, you're a weirdo. An overly-friendly incoherent-drunk teddy-humping homosexual kleptomaniac!"

     "Okay I knew the name calling would happen but I expected just 'fag'."

     "Shut up!"

     "Stop swinging your arms!"

      Lorn slammed a hand on the lamp's shade and Verger's eyes widened. "No, no..." but Lorn simply straightened his arm and let it fall.

     Verger gaped, touching his lower lip with the tips of his fingers as he approached the wall. Lorn glared ahead of him as Verger looked down at the helplessly shattered lamp, the wind from behind hiding his gawk from Lorn.

     "You gonna cry over that too?"

     Lorn watched Verger slowly straighten up, his hands clutching the edge wall. Then he barely tilted his head towards him, his jaw clenched and his eyes avoiding his.

     "Go unlock the door." Lorn murmured.

     Verger didn't hesitate, turning around and leading the way to the door with angry strides and his hands in pockets. He unlocked it, exited, shut it in Lorn's face and locked it.

     Lorn blinked a couple times. Then he tentatively touched the door with his hands.

     "Verger you're kidding." he threatened. "Verger let me in!" he banged. "For fuck's sake Verger!"

Got it? Title is 'Shady stuff'... lamp shade...huheheh.. huh.

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