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|chapter four: tape three|

Well hello again, funny seeing you here. Get it? No, never mind, bad joke.

Anyway, let's get straight to the point. I don't have time for banter.

You had better jokes, Louis. Like the one about the turtle. I don't remember it well though.

Have you ever had that one person that you can completely rely on? The one where you could go to no matter what happened? Yeah, I did. Not anymore.

Niall. You are next on my list. Yeah, I have a list. Lame, I know.

Niall visited me about two weeks after the Eleanor incident; it was a surprise visit- a very nice one actually. It was good having a friend to turn to after all the shit I'd been going through. Anyway, he'd only been here about three days when the worst possible thing happened. He met Stan. Yes, you Stan. Again.

We were at the park, you see. The very same one that I had my first kiss. With you Stan. I was in the toilets doing my business when all of a sudden, I hear Niall screaming for me. Quickly finishing, I fled the bathroom and searched for Niall only to find him angry and beside a smirking Stan. I'm gonna quote the conversation that happened cause I remember it that clearly.

"Niall, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong?"

"Yes, Niall. I already said that."

"Don't get smart with me you... you... faggot!"

That really hurt by the way.

"What?"

"Louis, please tell me that he's lying."

"What did he say, Niall?"

I paused it. Not wanting to hear any more. I relished the silence but let the quiet ringing poison my ears. Looking to my left, I spotted the sign to enter the park. The park where Louis' nightmare started. Without a second thought, I went in. It was fairly crowded for a Sunday afternoon. Children littered the playground and teenagers sat in the sun, too busy texting to notice me.

I made my way to the far corner. To the tree where Stan kissed Louis. As I neared it I could imagine Louis pressed up against the tree, kissing someone. But that someone wasn't Stan, it was me. Shaking these thoughts from my head I slumped down the trunk and sat on the grass. I pressed play letting Louis' voice lull me into the painful daydream I've been in for so long.

"You tried to fuck him, didn't you?"

"Niall, I-"

"Oh my god, it's true!"

"No it isn't!"

"You're a fag!"

"No!"

"A dirty, little, horny fag."

"And so what if I'm gay? There's nothing wrong with that!"

I was crying at this point Niall, meanwhile you, Stan, stood laughing at this whole scene unraveling before you.

"A man should not lie with another man! That's wrong! God says so."

"Yeah, well fuck God."

You looked like I shot you when I said that, Niall. I swear; all colour drained from your face and you grasped your chest as you slowly backed away from me. You acted as if I was going to molest you at any minute.

"You disgust me."

And with that, you ran away. And when I returned home, you were gone and I was left with the heartbreak of my only friend leaving me because I liked dick, not vagina. Tragic, isn't it?

I wanna meet this Niall person and shove his balls so far up his ass, he's coughing up his pubes.

My only friend -friend since birth may I add- left me. I was now truly alone. I felt betrayed to put it bluntly. No, I felt worse. But I don't think they have a word in the English language that quite described what I was feeling.

I ripped the blades of grass from the soil beneath me, imagining each of them were Niall's head.

If you're still confused, which I'm pretty sure you are cause frankly, Niall, you're quite retarded, I'll explain; I was relying on you to accept me. To love me for who I was and not what every one else made me out to be. I know that when you find out I'm dead you'll be upset and blame yourself. But remember this Niall, twelve other people and yours hurt the most.

The soft hum and clicks of the tape indicated that it was over.

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