Array
(
[text] =>

Jongin

The only thing that wouldn't leave my head was what Kyungsoo had asked me. 

'You like Chanyeol, don't you?' I just laughed at that moment and thought he was being stupid, but no matter how much I thought of that, I wouldn't laugh the same again. I didn't even find it funny. 

Why didn't I? Why did I have to think that much about it? Of course I wouldn't like my best friend - whom I've known for as long as I could remember - that way. He was nothing more than a friend, right? 

I chuckled at myself as I put on my practicing clothes. I was actually having an argument with myself about liking my friend or not. The question was obviously no, but I couldn't help to keep on questioning it.

"You alien freak!" yelled the familiar angry harsh voice I heard the other day, and then it was followed with a loud bang. 

I ran to where I heard the voice and spotted the same bully over Kyungsoo, who looked so petite and fragile beside him. He really looked helpless, so I couldn't hold myself back. I just hoped he wouldn't go mad if I stepped in again to defend him. 

"You're still continuing?" I glared after I stepped between them again. The bully glared at me too, but not in the same way, "get lost," I snarled and he obeyed me like a lost puppy and disappeared within seconds. 

I heard Kyungsoo gasp in surprise behind me, and when  I turned around to look at him, my eyes widen. 

"Oh my god, Kyungsoo," I nearly yelled in surprise, "you're bleeding!" I ran into the toilet that was right behind us and got some paper to stop the bleeding with it. 

The bully must've punched him in the face or something, and for some reason, he didn't dodge it at all. "Why don't you run away when he bullies you, or even fight back? Or just yell for help, or at least ask him to stop?" I asked confused as I put pressure on the bleeding wound. "I only see you standing completely still, letting him do this to you." I was becoming rather concerned over his well being, and I was concentrating so hard on his wound I hadn't noticed how close our face were, but surprisingly I didn't mind. 

"I don't care what he does to me," he simply replied, which made me accidentally snort. 

"You don't care if he hurts you?" I asked, a bit surprised, and he slowly nodded without messing up the paper I held onto his face. 

I let out a small giggle as I stared in right in his eyes. "You're crazy Kyungsoo," I said whilst smiling. He kept on staring at me as I was taking care of his wound by his lip. 

He was sitting completely still and didn't even flinch when I cleaned it, which normally people would react to, as it'd sting. He just stayed still like an obedient puppy with wide eyes. He wasn't smiling, but his expression was soft. His eyes were soft. It was like he was thinking, but it was good thoughts. 

I wonder what it was. I wondered what he'd be thinking in this situation. Was it about me? About his past? About what just happened? "Can I ask you something?" I suddenly asked. 

"Sure," he replied quickly, like he was expecting me to say that.

"Why did you wonder whether if I like Chanyeol or not? What made you think that?" I had been curious all day about it. Maybe I was just giving it way too much thought though, and actually end up believing it myself, which was not true.

"By the way you've been staring at him," he firstly said, which I frowned to. Had I been staring at him? "The way you looked at both of them flirting. The jealousy you show around them. The way you oppose their relationship." He sounded like a professional psychologist or something that had been observing me, but I just frowned back. 

"Are you my therapist or something?" I asked sarcastically and he just continued to stare at me. 

"The way you're afraid you'll lose him." He talked like he'd known me for ages, and could enter my mind whenever he felt like it, so it freaked me a bit out. 

"You can't read my mind, right?" I joked, but he just shook his head seriously. 

"No, and I wouldn't if I could." I laughed a bit, then I removed the paper from his face as his wound didn't seem too serious anymore. "I know you love him." I laughed, the fake one again, which wasn't really on purpose either.

"Listen Kyungsoo, I'm not in love with him, alright? You've just misjudged it." 

He frowned at me. "Then why do you hate their relationship so much? Why don't you want them to date each other?" I had to think for a moment to actually know why I did. 

"I guess I'm just afraid he'd turn out to be hurt, or ignore me for having someone new in his life," I replied and I could see in the corner of my eye that he was staring, like usual.

"In other words, you have a secret crush on him, but you don't want him to know?" 

I really started to feel annoyed as he kept on talking like he knew me better than I did myself. "Stop it now, I'm not in love with Chanyeol, alright? Stop jumping to conclusions!" He went silent after than, and so we both decided to practice in the same room to keep each other company, and I started off with my dancing as he rested because of his wound. He wanted to start practicing right away, but I insisted that he took a small break before jumping right to it. 

"You sing, right?" I asked, which he nodded to,  "maybe you could sing a song I could dance to? Just sing whatever you'd like." He found the right CD he had brought and pressed play. 

As he started to sing, I felt like my body had turned into stone as I couldn't move at all. 

It was that voice. 

That angelic voice I heard the other day in that room. Was it his? Did the voice belong to him? The emotionless beautiful voice? I was too surprised to even react, and when the song ended, he stared at me with a slight mix of a frown and apologetic glance. 

"Sorry, was it too hard to dance to?" he asked as it snapped me back to reality.

"No no, sorry. I was a bit off. Sing whatever you like," I said embarrassed, and he started off with another song again. 

I found the right rhythm and we matched pretty well. I couldn't help but to smile, and when I glanced at him, his eyes were shining, like he was having fun, but didn't want to show it.

"Aw, you're a pretty good match," I heard the same deep voice I've listened to for ages say.

"We knew you'd get along." We both turned around and saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun standing in the doorway, grinning in our direction. 

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked stunned and wondered how they even managed to find us in this huge building.

"We were afraid you'd ignore each other here," Baekhyun explained, "plus, we didn't want you to stave either." 

I rolled my eyes. Really? That was their reason? 

I even snorted and earned a glare from Chanyeol. I didn't like it whenever he'd glare at me like that. It almost made me want to cry, and ask why he'd only give me that look. I'd never seen him give Baekhyun that look... 

God, I sounded like a jealous ex, which I definitely was not. 

I glanced at Kyungsoo, and he was looking at me with that 'I told you' look, but I just rolled my eyes whilst ignoring him. 

"Chanyeol's cooking is the best," I cheered as we all had sat down in a circle together as we ate, and the giant chuckled softly at my compliment. I actually didn't plan to say that out loud, and I just knew Kyungsoo was looking at me as I expressed how much I loved the food. I just tried to ignore his gaze and concentrated on eating the delicious food that was right in my lap. 

"Are you practicing hard?" Chanyeol asked me and I nodded with a big smile. 

"Yeah, I'm dancing as much as I can, and I'm trying to make new dances to a song I'm struggling to pick. I'm stuck between two songs," I admitted and Chanyeol grinned.

"Want me to help?" I smiled brightly and nodded whilst fishing out my phone out of my pocket. I handed it to him when the first song played and he listened closely to it. He was concentrating hard on the song, the beat, the rhythm, lyrics, and everything. As his head went back and forth, along with the beat, his hair was falling over his forehead, covering his eyes a bit. His eyes were either staring at a one spot, or he smiled towards me. I felt warm inside me whenever he did that, and couldn't help but to smile back satisfied. 

"I liked the first one the best," he said as he handed me my phone back again. 

"I agree," I said with food in my mouth, which he just chuckled at, "thank you." 

He stared at my lips for around good solid five seconds, and I couldn't help but to frown at him, wondering why he did so. 

Suddenly he leaned closer towards me; I felt my body tense up and become stiff. I was shocked, but I also felt butterflies in my belly. Was he going to do what I thought he was doing? Right in front of the guy he's dating? Had he gone mad? 

He was so close to my face, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly together. I didn't even dare to open them. I waited for something to happen, but only felt a slight touch on the side of my lips. I frowned to myself, but continued to wait. 

"Jongin, what's wrong?" he asked, and so I finally opened my eyes to see what had happened. He had just removed some food from the corner of my lips I realised, and I couldn't help but to feel disappointed. 

Wait, disappointed? Was it even possible?

"I - I'll be right back," I stuttered and ran out of the room. I closed the door and leaned on the wall right outside the room the others were in.

Was Kyungsoo really right? Did he predict it the right way? Was I, Kim Jongin, in love with Park Chanyeol? My best friend? 

God no. 

I didn't want it to be true, but how could I deny the reality? Was it over for me? I felt like my heart had been cut up in a million pieces by the one and only him. I felt like puking, but I still knew nothing would come out. I felt dizzy, like I forgot how to walk on my own feet.

I heard the door being opened beside me, and I expected to see the tall worried giant as he usually would come in situations like this, but it was someone I hadn't expected at all, Do Kyungsoo.

"Hey," he mumbled as he stood right next to me. He had grabbed my hand and lead me a bit further away from the room the two other males were in so they wouldn't hear us. 

He had to help me to keep my balance so I wouldn't stumble and fall right on face out of dizziness. It felt like I had already done it though, really fallen hard, and bleeding badly.

"Lean on me," he said as he supported me, "don't fall." 

I knew he wasn't only talking about me having no balance with my legs. He didn't want me to fall for Chanyeol as it was already too late to do anything about it. 

I was already lying on my face. 

I wasn't able to keep in the tears I had been struggling to keep inside since he came in through the door. 

I leaned my head on Kyungsoo's shoulder and I let the tears roll out. I didn't bother if he'd think I was an idiot. I didn't bother if he thought I was a crybaby. I just wanted to let it all out, and I wanted someone to comfort me. 

I hadn't realised that there was someone who was already trying to comfort me. He had predicted it all, but still, I was an idiot that didn't listen to him. 

I was in love after all, without realising myself. I was an idiot. 

[text_hash] => e630b5f9
)