Array
(
[text] =>

James’ POV

There’s no turning back now, I have to bite the bullet and let him know how shitty my life was. Why was I so afraid of telling him about my past? I’m not sure. I know ‘the past is past, there's nothing you can do about it’ but I’m still not out of that life, I can never just step away from what I’ve done. “I…brought you here because I want you to know about my past…”

-7 years earlier

Heated tingles crept up my arm, sending shockwaves of euphoria through my numb body. The intense pleasure lasted for only moment before it vanished completely, and I was left craving more, I was left with this everlasting boredom induced addiction.

I looked around me, eyes burning and swollen from the extent of my addiction. I couldn’t see clearly, but I knew who was around me; my ‘friends’. More like followers if you ask me. They’re some of the many people who hang on my every word because they fear my very being. Charlie, my dealer; Amber, the number one prostitute in this shithole town, who pays me to fuck her; and Phoenix, my right hand man. The three of them were mirror images to each other; all were coming off their high and looking like the undead.

We were at Charlie’s hellhole of an apartment, a few blocks away from the town’s prison and a few hours away from normal civilization. This place was quite literally my home since I’m here 90% of the time, rather than at my parents place having to deal with their shit. I don’t need to deal with them anymore, I’m seventeen and can take care of myself, obviously, and they don’t care anyways. I’ve been gone for a month now from them and school, and not once have they called the police or tried to find me, not that I care I much rather living the life I have now without them.

“Yo James you hear about that little runt who says he can best you?” Phoenix’s gruff voice broke me out of my trance, how long had I been zoning out? It’s dark out already. I looked over, the man eight years my senior had his usual weary look on him so I just grinned maniacally.

“If the little fuck thinks he can, then he should get off his lazy ass, stop talking shit and find me.” With that I stood up from the sofa, grabbed a beer from the old fridge and downed it. “If fact, I’m bored, so let’s go find him ourselves.” I smirked at Phoenix who stood up, waiting for me to get going. I slapped Charlie on the back on the way out and told Amber to wait for me to get back, to which she made the sluttiest expression to and I almost gagged. She’s pretty yeah, but the biggest whore of the face of this earth.

We made our way to the rich part of town, where he supposedly lived in the lap of luxury probably with his billionaire dad, gold digging mother, butler named Jeeves and little white poodle named Fifi. If my assumptions are correct, I’m going to love pounding that guys face in. “He’s usually at this park with his crew, there shouldn’t be more than three guys with him though.”

“Heh, that’s it? Three? Oh gee looks like we’ll be home sooner than we thought.” I walked ahead of Phoenix when I saw the guy, Clint I think his name was, hanging out with two guys about the size of Phoenix by the fountain. Meaning they were at least double my size, but size doesn’t matter to me, I’ll kick anyone’s ass and everyone knows that. “So, you’re the little shit who’s been running his mouth hey? I’ve got news for ya punk, I’ll knock you out before you even have time to flinch.” His two ‘bodyguards’ looked about ready to attack, but Clint motioned them to stop. Hmm, I wonder what he’s paying them with…money or sucking dick?

“Heard you’re living with the rats now Jamie, is it fun trying to pretend to be a tough guy?” Clint chuckled, his lips slithering over her pearly white teeth in a sneer. He was your typical rich, blonde, blue eyed quarterback, cheerleader girlfriend, jackass of a guy. I should seriously get a permanent marker and write ‘cliché’ on his forehead.

“Is it fun living off your billionaire daddy and sucking cock to get what you want?” I smiled before his fist connected with my cheek; I always let my opponent get the first hit, it shows I have control and they’re usually still celebrating by the time I throw a few punches and knock them out. I pretended like it hurt, then hit him with three of my signature punches; right cheek, left cheek then uppercut to the chin. He flew backwards, hitting the ground hard and smashing his head on a rock; his snores filled the once silent air. “Anybody else think they can best me?” The two guys looked at each other then grinned, oh so they want to get knocked out too? Alright, fine by me.

“Hey Turner remember me?” I stopped short and turned to the oddly familiar voice, then gasped lightly. It was Vincent Elroy, the guy who taught me everything until I felt it was time for him to step down; when he didn’t I did the unthinkable by stabbing him and killing him. Or so I thought.

“Vince? I thought you were dead!” I clenched my fists; if I didn’t kill him then, I should just finish the job now.

“Wrong. You thought I was murdered, but I survived and now two years later I’m healthy enough to finally get my revenge.” His piercing sea foam eyes bore into me like daggers, but didn’t waver, he doesn’t intimidate me.

“You’ve held a grudge for two years? You’re pathetic old man.” I laughed and brushed my hand through my hair.

“You know, I’ve always wondered if you really even understood what you’re doing.” I looked at him annoyed and confused. Of course I understand, I understand everything! I rule this town, and everyone knows it. “Are you aware that everyone thinks you’re a little shit who thinks he can do anything he wants?  Are you even aware that you aren’t the ‘most fearsome guy in town’? Do you know how idiotic and immature you really are?”

“I think you’ve been thinking too much old man, you’re brain is pooched. I am the most fearsome guy around, everybody bows down to me, you’ve just been gone for too long to notice it.” What’s this asshole thinking? Is he just upset I took his place? No, rather it’s because I became everything he tried to become.

“You really are an idiot.” Before I could say a word, he raised his arm with a gun in hand and shot me. Excruciating pain coursed through my whole body, my vision went black and my hearing was muffled. I could only catch the echoing sound of another gunshot and a thump beside me before I was whisked away into darkness.

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of rhythmic beeping; the glare of a light made everything stark white but I subconsciously knew where I was. The only mystery was why I was here in a hospital, I know I was shot but who found me? Who called the ambulance? Was it Phoenix? Whatever it doesn’t matter, I just want to get out of here as quick as possible. “…he also had a mixture of alcohol, heroin and marijuana in his system so it’d be best if you send him to rehab as soon as he’s released.” I could faintly hear a female’s voice coming from outside the room, and someone crying. Is she talking about me? No way in hell am I going to rehab! If I want to quit I will, I only started because I was bored so I can live without it.

“Is he really okay though?” Another female voice spoke up but it was too muffled to hear it much, it sounded familiar though.

“He’s fine; the bullet didn’t hit any organs or bones. Normally we would put him on painkillers, but due to the substances we found in his system it wouldn’t be a good idea to give him any kind of drug.” I could hear footsteps now getting close to me, was it Amber? Or Phoenix? The curtain was shoved aside to reveal my mother, red eyed and sobbing. She’s here? Why the hell would she come?

“James…” she started but began to cry again. The usual guilt I felt whenever I seen her cry hit me like a brick wall, I hate her but she’s still my mom and she’s crying over me. “James I’m sorry. For everything…Y-your fathers gone now, for good so you can come home again. Please come home. Please…and leave this life behind.” Though I was guilty, I wasn’t enough to go home. I like living this life, it’s exciting and I get to do whatever I want.

“No way, I like my life the way it is. Without you.” My words made her cry again, but this time I felt no remorse. It was the truth, and she has to deal with it. It was her fault in the first place.

“James, that guy you were with is dead. He got shot in the heart. It could have been you! You’re only seventeen; you have a long life ahead of you. Don’t waste it like this; don’t cut it short like his!” My heart stopped. Phoenix is dead? Vincent killed him? No. No there's no way. She’s just trying to deceive me. Phoenix is stronger than that; he can live through a measly gunshot no problem like me!

“Yeah right, like I’d believe that bullshit.” She slammed her fist on a metal table, making me jump.

“God damn it James listen to me! He’s dead because of the life he chose, the very same you are about to choose. Don’t you get it? You will die because of your actions unless you back out right now.”Her voice echoed in the room we were in, I wouldn’t be surprised if the who hospital heard her. But there's no way she’s right, I’ll be fine and Phoenix is alive. Sure I got shot but it’s not like I’d let that happen again; I’ll find Vincent and shove his gun right down his throat. “If you don’t believe me, then I’ll show you his god damned body.”

“Fine then, show me.” I sneered; I can’t wait till she has to admit her lie. I ripped off everything on me, not giving two shits and followed her down the hall in those stupid hospital gowns; thank god my boxers were still on. She led me down the hall to a room which was closed, she took a deep breath before opening the door and letting me walk in first. The room looked different from the one I was in; instead of one bed there were six, but all of them were empty it looked like. Except one. I walked over to the curtain and yanked it out of my way; the area that usually would be full of heart monitors and an iv stand was empty and Phoenix lay motionless asleep on the bed. “Ha see? He’s perfectly fine, just sleeping. God you’re blind woman.” She said nothing, so I just laughed until my eye caught something. A clipboard with notes on it; without thinking I grabbed it.

‘Tanner, Phoenix – Deceased’

I could feel my eyes start to sting from the tears threatening to spill. No…no…NO! He can’t be dead! “Fuck, no, Phoenix come on man!” I nudged his lifeless body harshly, trying to desperately wake him up. “Fuck! Get up you asshole! Don’t play tricks on me like this! Come on! Wake up…please wake up!” I fell to my knees, tears spilling over like waterfalls now as I sobbed onto the bed, pleading for him to just wake up to no avail.

After my eyes ran dry, my mom took me back to my room and the nurses hooked me back up. I stayed silent for once in my life, too traumatized to think or speak. Phoenix, my only real friend, was gone for good. And it was all because of me, all because I was too young and stupid to realize how dangerous this life really is. Vincent was right, about everything. I should’ve just stepped down, then all of this wouldn’t have happened.

-Present

“After I got off the drugs, I came back to school and met you guys, and you know the rest. But even though I got rid of everything from then, some things still haunt me; some people still know who I am, and it scares the living shit out of me. I don’t want you to be any part of it if my life comes back to bite me in the ass, so that’s why I’m telling you now, before we get too serious.” I sighed, finally getting everything off my shoulders; but now I was worried. What will Elliot say? Will he hate me? Be afraid of me?

Elliot reached over and cupped my cheek with his cool hand, with a sincere little smile on his lips. “The past is the past James, everybody makes mistakes but they learn from them. Your mistakes may have been worse than others but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change my views on you at all. Actually no, now that you’ve told me the truth and let it out so soon, I like you even more.” He smiled wider as I smiled back; he understands, he doesn’t care at all, I’m so happy. I don’t think it will be difficult at all to fall in love with him.

After Elliot and I shared an overpriced dessert, and I paid the bill with my credit card my mom gave me that I never use, we walked down to the beach. It was a perfect day to be at the beach, the sun was shining and the air was fresh and warm. I held onto Elliot’s hand as we walked down the shoreline for what seemed like hours; until I caught Elliot staring at some little kids’ ice cream like he was going to steal it and run away like a mad man, so with that horrible thought in mind I took him to the ice cream shop across the street.

“You really are cute you know that?” I smiled at him as he ate his three scoop chocolate ice cream cone; he already had some on his face and he wasn’t close to finishing the first scoop. He made a weird noise like he was calling me a name and stuck his tongue out at me.

“Oh yeah? Well you’re a derp for having your ice cream in a cup.” He huffed and looked away from me; I just rolled my eyes and smiled. Even though he’s a bit insane, childish and annoying, I think I could get used to him being around me all the time. I reached over and swiped the chocolate off his face with my thumb, then licked my thumb clean. “By god James Turner, are you trying to seduce me?” Elliot widened his eyes in fake shock; I had to refrain myself from laughing at his horrible attempt at a British accent.

“If I were trying to seduce you, you wouldn’t have to ask.” I smirked and he cocked a brow. Oh, well I see where this is going…

“Is that your ego showing through? Hm. Well then.” He stayed silent for a second then bolted out of the shop; I ran after him after I comprehended what happened, but he was already too far ahead. He ran all the way down to the beach and stopped dead at the edge of the ocean. I laughed and crept closer to him.

“I’ve got you now…” I grinned evilly and got ready to grab him, but he bolted again this time straight into the ocean. You could hear his childish laughter ring through the air, I really wouldn’t doubt if everybody heard it. “You’re getting soaked!” He stuck his tongue out at me again and kept going deeper, with his ice cream still in his grasp. “Don’t drown!” He turned back around and stuck his tongue out at me again before he disappeared under the water; me heart stopped. God damn it Elliot, you should’ve listening to me! I yanked off my shirt as I ran to the water and dove in when it was deep enough; I opened my eyes, though it stung like hell and spotted him sinking deeper. How deep is it here?! I dove farther and grabbed him, yanking him up and swimming back up with him in my arms; the whole time my heart was beating so fast I was sure I was going to have a heart attack.

He started to cough when we came out of the water; I took him to a shallow area to make sure he was okay; I couldn’t wait until we got to the beach. “Elliot, are you okay? Did you inhale any water?” He coughed again and shook his head. “Good.” I hugged him, my heart still beating like a race horses.

“James.” I pulled away slightly to look at him, his wet hair was in his face so I brushed it out of the way. “I love you.”

----

Seems like an okay place to stop it. Took me SO LONG to do this chapter BUT I GOT IT DONE!!! :D It might not be good since I haven’t written in like…two months or so….my writing style might even be different but at least I updated!

So, that 7 years earlier part was just like a flashback for you guys to kinda understand James past. It isn’t really what James told Elliot, because he didn’t tell him about any particular incident, but it’s kinda the same thing really, just in more detail.

Anyways

What do you guys think? I tried my best to get this chapter out for you guys so I hope its okay XD I haven’t even read it over because I wanted to update asap ._.

[text_hash] => 29e28073
)