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Again I’M SORRY! This story just keeps getting pushed away *huffs* Anyways I’ll try writing more asap :)

Sorry if this chapter sucks I literally had to force myself to write it… :S But at least its 5 pages on word :D

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Elliot’s POV

I’m a slut and I have a boyfriend. That’s smart. And to think only hours before I almost said I hated him, that I wouldn’t choose him to fall in love with in a million years. Things sure change quickly.

After our steamy shower, heh nice pun, I decided not to tell James what I was thinking before he came in. I didn’t want him to know I was contemplating suicide, I didn’t want to tell him he was my savior because honestly, I wasn’t sure how he’d react to that. He could put me into an insane asylum for god sakes. As we laid on my bed, with my head resting on his bare but warm chest, I couldn’t help but think about things.

What happens now? I can’t just stop being a slut, I mean sure I could since I have James now but what about Josh? He literally relies on me, which is really disturbing and gross, so when he finds out…what will he do? He’s easily twice as big as James thought it’s not like I’d ever let them near each other, and even bigger to me. I’ve had him hit me a few times in the past, which I brushed off to the guys as some stupid fight I got into because I ‘stole’ some guys girlfriend. And let me tell you, it hurt, a lot.

Come to think of it; I’ve never been in a relationship; my first kiss was when I was drunk at 14, with someone I can’t for the life of me remember. I can’t tell you the gender of the person as horrible as that sounds. That night was also the night I started selling myself, it started off as kinda a cry for attention but now…it’s become even more.

I sighed and looked up at James; his pointy elf like nose, intelligent green eyes, perfectly shaped lips and model like cheek bones made me melt as always. He is perfect in every way. Meanwhile I’m just some disgusting ugly whore who really has no good traits or skills like James. Why does he want to be with me? Kiss me, touch me? Is this just a game? No. I’m thinking too poorly of him, he’s smart, he knows what he’s doing and he’d never do anything to hurt me. I’m just being too self conscious, again.

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” James suddenly spoke; the vibration from his chest filled my body with warmth. Not warmth of lust, of love; of feeling like the happiest guy in the world just to be able to lay like this on him, knowing he wants to be with me. “You’ve always been so hyperactive, like a windup toy that never stops but now…” I looked up at him at his pause; he was looking down at me with curious eyes. “You make yourself out to be like that as a mask…why? Why do you hide your intelligence?”

“Intelligence?” I blinked at him, now sure of what to think. Intelligence? Me being calm and serious shows my…intelligence? Sorry to burst your bubble James but I’m far from smart, obviously. A smart person would never sell themselves out like I have; a smart person wouldn’t act like me at all.

“You put yourself down too much Elliot; you’re smarter than you think.” He grabbed me underneath my arms and lifted me to his waist; I leaned down to rest on his chest as he watched me. I know he’s right, well about the putting down part, but I can’t help myself since it’s the truth. I’m not smart like James, I didn’t grow up normally, I have any other friends beyond these walls, I look sickly and to be honest I don’t feel like an actual human being. There's no reason to feel good about myself.

“You’re just saying that to be nice, I’m not smart. Look at me James; I’m selling myself out for ten bucks.” A tiny pang of disappointment crossed his features, but it washed away so fast I wasn’t sure if it was imagination or not; I wouldn’t doubt he’s disappointed in me.

“Not anymore.” He whispered and leaned down to kiss me, no one has ever kissed me like this before. It actually meant something; he wasn’t just kissing me because he wanted something out of it. No, he was showing affection, something I’ve never experienced before. To be completely honest, I felt nervous. I know I love him, it’s always been a dream for him to be like this but now that it’s reality…it’s almost…overwhelming. I pulled away with my eyes still closed and smiled.

“I’m going to have to get used to this whole…boyfriend thing.” I breathed then opened my eyes; he was looking back with his usual calm intelligent eyes. I wish I knew what he was thinking; he’s always been so concealed with his thoughts and emotions. I guess I can’t be one to talk; like he said I put up a mask for everyone to see me differently. Ergo, I’m hiding my thoughts and emotions as well; but I have things to hide, he doesn’t.

At least I don’t think so…

“So am I.” He whispered and kissed my forehead; that same warmth filled my body to the core. I never thought in a million years I’d be able to feel this way, I never thought James would actually want me like this. No matter how many times I think that, I’ll say it again and again. I thought in reality things like this never happened, I guess I was wrong.

James, unfortunately, had to go back to his room before Dean decided it was time to go to bed. Personally, I would have loved for him to stay but I’m not sure what the guys would think. I mean we’ve been friends for years, and then suddenly James and I get together; it may be hard on them…

I woke up in the morning with a cold sweat; Josh said he’d be here today and since it’s Saturday he’ll be here earlier. What do I do? Tell him no? That would seem like a good idea, if he wasn’t a tank and could quite literally kill me with a few punches. So that’s out of the question…god damn it I can’t think of anything. Maybe I should just let him have his fun one more time, then tell him I’m done. He’s usually a little nicer after the fact. James usually works half a day on Saturdays and Dean and Rodney usually have better things to do, which means I’ll be able to do this properly. As much as I hate it, I have to do something to get rid of him. No one will know.

Just as I sat down on the couch there was a knock at the door; I froze knowing exactly who it was but defrosted and calmed myself. Just one more time and I’ll tell him I’m done being a slut. I’ll be fine; he won’t hurt me after I’ve de-stressed him. I may even do this for free, though I’m miserably low on cash as always. With a shallow sigh I opened the door; Josh stood in front of me, brown hair messy as usual and white tank top exposing his muscles from being an ex football player, among other things. He had the typical tough guy look to him, with a personality to match, and believe me when I say this; he is not gay. He isn’t gay or bi, he just uses me because I’m cheap and he doesn’t have to worry about me getting pregnant. And he isn’t one of those tough guys who use their looks to scare off people from who they really are; he’s dangerous. He has no friends, just followers and I’m sure he has a gun or two at his place.

How did I get involved with a person like him? Well we sluts usually walk around town looking for ‘clients’ and when I saw Josh, or rather he saw me, we kinda knew what we wanted. I wanted money and he wanted sex. I’m not even sure how old he is to be honest, he isn’t thirty yet I know that but he is in his late twenties. Meaning we probably have a distance of five or six years; me being twenty two.

Without a word I let him in, guilt rushing over me already as I did so. I’ll be cheating on James technically, and we haven’t been together for even a day. I’m pathetic. Pathetic and sick. “I’m feeling pretty active today, I hope you’re ready.” He growled in my ear as I locked the door, his towering stature seemed to make me feel like a helpless little mouse. Which is pretty spot on since I am helpless. I clenched my eyes shut and took a deep breath before turning around, his dark green/brown eyes bore into mine with the knowledge of how powerful he is. I just nodded and walked around him, but before I could go any farther he grabbed my wrist and yanked me to him. I didn’t yelp since I was used to it, he always manhandles me and I take it without a sound. “We’re doing it out here, no one’s home.” He gave me a maniacal grin, he always liked being in control, and then pushed me against the back of the couch. He pushed on my back so I was almost in the shape of an ‘A’ and grabbed my hair.

“Josh we can’t, we have to go-” He shut me up with a hard smack to the head; I obediently kept my mouth shut as he groped me.  It’s almost always like this with him, that’s why I usually have bruises on my body, but he hasn’t been this rough in a few weeks. Which means something pissed him off, also meaning he’s more of a loose cannon now and I won’t be able to calm him down for a while.

I reluctantly let him do what he wanted, no matter how bad it hurt when he ripped off my clothes and I felt him enter me; the only thing that kept it from hurting that bad was the lubricated condom he put on. There was only one thing that was running through my head, how I hoped Dean or Rodney didn’t come home; that would be the worst thing. Not only would I be hugely embarrassed, I’d have to explain that Josh was in fact not my boyfriend and that I’m actually a slut. It would probably start a huge thing between us, well between James and I anyways.

As he thrust inside me, I felt no pleasure, I never did; only with James. It took a lot of attention on my part to even get hard with anyone else. The beginning of tears stared to form in my eyes; I should stop thinking about James, if I don’t I might start to cry with all these emotions flooding into my head. I gripped on to the padding on the couch, holding back all thoughts of James, as Josh thrust in me one last time before cumming in the condom. I slumped onto the floor after he pulled out, oddly feeling limp and weak.

I just cheated on James.

Before any other thoughts could enter my mind, the front door unlocked. Josh already had his jeans zipped up and the condom was tossed, but my pants were at my knees as my back rested against the couch. Oh fuck, this is what I didn’t want to happen! Maybe Dean or Rodney will understand, I’m sure Dean would seeing as how he listens to me all the time but Rodney…he and I are friends sure but, I’ve never vented to him or talked about anything serious. Kinda like how I was with James, I never talked to him like I do to Dean. I held my breath as I watched the door open; praying to god that it wasn’t either of them, that it was a ghost or something. Like that would ever happen…

As I watched the door my heart sank; I felt sick and angry and mortified all at the same time. James appeared and all I could do was lower my head to my knees and cry. I felt like a child but I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, the sobs from sounding out. “Elliot…?” There was a pause before I heard something, which sounded like a jacket to me, get thrown on to the table. “What the fuck did you do to him?” He growled, he sounded angrier than I’ve ever heard him before. This isn’t good…he’s always so level headed in arguments.

“What’s it look like dumbass?” It was Josh’s turn to speak, with his typical cocky and, I have to admit, scary voice. This is going to turn into a fight, I just know it. And then James will get hurt and it’ll be all my fault.

“Looks like it’s high time you get your ass out of here.” James responded calmly. Ah, there's the James I know. Not surprisingly that just made Josh sound angrier when he told him to go fuck himself; oh great here’s where it starts. I slowly looked up in time to see James grab Josh by the collar of his shirt, lift him up slightly, then throw him to the ground.

Holy shit.

Josh got up with a groan then charged James, my heart stopped when his fist connected with James’ face. But he didn’t seem to notice all that much because he got him back with three perfectly aimed punches to Josh’s face, making him fall to the ground with blood seeping out from his mouth. “Get out.” James pointed to the door; Josh hurriedly got up and ran out the door. I watched James wipe his bloody lip with his hand in shock. What the fuck just happened? “H-how…did you…?” I trailed off not being able to speak. James just took out Josh, a guy twice his size, without a sweat.

“Practice, it wasn’t much of a fight…now anyways.” He knelt in front of me, placing his warm hands on my knees. I couldn’t look him in the eyes; I would hate myself even more if I did. “What did he do to you?”

“Nothing.” I blubbered out, sure he did some things but I initiated the whole thing. I’m the one who let him in the fucking door. “I-I…I just thought…if I gave him what he wanted one last time he’d leave.” I let my head fall back on to my knees; I’m a disgrace.

“He’s not going to bother you from now on Elliot…I’ll make sure of that. In fact,” I felt his finger on my chin as he lifted my head to meet his gaze; his eyes were full of care, something I don’t deserve in the least. “You’re not going to be home alone anymore.” He smiled and I blinked.

“I’m not a child James…” I sighed, it would be nice to not be alone all the time. At first it’s nice but after a while it takes a toll on you. “Plus, you have to work and I’m sure Dean and Rodney couldn’t take on Josh the way you did if he came back. Speaking of which! What do you mean by ‘practice’? How the hell did you take him down? He’s easily twice your-” He place a hand on my mouth, instantly making me shut up, and smiled again. His eyes almost sparkling for some reason.

“I’ll take you to work with me and just because he’s bigger doesn’t mean he’s better. I’ll explain everything…later. But right now I want you to take a shower and get him off you.” He answered my questions before taking his hand off my mouth and gently brushing his thumb over my lips. I gave him a little smile and he helped me up, pulling up my pants at the same time. How does he do it? How does he make everything better with words? They aren’t even meaningful sometimes but his voice just seems to make me calm. I looked down at his bloodied lip and frowned; I hope Josh gets hit by a car or attacked by an old lady for this. Grabbing his hand, I led him to Dean and I’s bathroom to clean him up and take a shower. He stayed in the bathroom with me, leaning against the counter as I took one.

We just…talked. It was nice really since we’ve never just sat down and talked about our likes and dislikes like this. I learned a few things I didn’t know about him; like how he thinks Dean and Rodney are complete idiots at times, the reason he quit college because he didn’t feel like having one particular job and bits and pieces of his life before I met him in high school. Though they’re just small, almost meaningless things to some people they mean the world to me. I’ve always wanted to know more about him, and now he’s finally opening up to me. He really is taking this whole thing seriously; he really does want to be with me.

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Oh and I figured out how old I made them xD James is 24 and Elliot, Rodney and Dean are 22 :P

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