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Billy's P.O.V.

“Sir, can I take you to your room now?” I looked up to see a little black haired nurse. She looked like she just graduated.

“Yes.” I said. She took me a few doors down. The room was bland with bright white walls and beige curtains. On the hospital bed, laid a white hospital gown. I sat on the edge on the bed where the nurse told me to. She checked my blood pressure and other medical stuff.

“Now change into the gown and I’ll go get the doctor.” She said.

“No just stitch me up or whatever you have to do. I just want to see Spencer.” I said, angry. I was fine. It was Spencer they should be worrying about. All I had was a cut and a headache. Spencer had much worse. Broken rubs among other bones, gashes, and maybe some internal bleeding. I wasn’t completely sure. My parents were the doctors not me.

“Calm down, sir. Don’t cause yourself anymore stress.” The nurse said, trying to calm me down.

“I am calm.” I yelled. Fear skirted across her face and she ran out the room. I didn’t care. She didn’t know that the love of my life was hanging by a thread somewhere in this hospital. I needed to be there. Not here in this stupid hospital. The only other better place would be wherever Spencer’s dad was. I should have killed him. I will if Spencer doesn’t make it. It wouldn’t matter what happened to me then. My future would be gone anyways.

                The nurse came back in with a medical kit and some medicine. She cleaned and stitched up my cut. Then she gave me some medicine.

“This will help with the pain and dizziness.” She said, handing me two pills and a cup of water. I swallowed the pills and drank the water in one gulp.

“Do you know if Spencer is awake yet?” I asked, after I swallowed.

“No, not yet.” My heart sank even further.

“Where is he?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why the hell not?” I asked, feeling anger and annoyance surge through me. Then I remembered my manners of being in front of a lady even an annoyingly frustrating one like her. “I’m sorry, ma’am.” I apologized quickly.

“I’ll take you to the waiting room.” She said, ignoring my apology.

“Thanks.” I muttered and followed her out into the hall and into the waiting room. The waiting room was more decorated than the hospital room. On the beige walls hung generic pictures that I didn’t particularly care for. About ten dark brown cushioned chairs were placed around the waiting room. In between the chairs, sat end tables with magazines and a blue lamp on the top. In the corner, I saw Ms. Niccole and Mr. and Mrs. Hartman sitting. Mrs. Hartman looked like she was praying. Ms. Niccole was shaking her leg and wringing her hands in her lap. Mr. Hartman looked to be sleeping but he was frowning too deeply.

                The nurse left us alone. I turned to say goodbye or thank you, but then I saw the sign on the wall. We were in the ICU waiting room. The wind was knocked out of me. I had hoped that maybe, this was all in my head. That I was overreacting and Spencer was just fine. But I wasn’t. He was in the ICU or he was going to be soon. They didn’t put people there for nothing. Now it was real. Too real.

“Billy, sit down. How’s your head?” Mrs. Hartman said. She had finished praying and was now pointing to the chair across from her.

“Fine,” I said, sitting down. “Any news on Spencer?” It took all of my weak strength not to cry.

“No, not yet.” I hated those words. “We have only been here a few minutes.”

“Billy, “ Mr. Hartman started, “what exactly happened?” I guess Mrs. Hartman didn’t tell them much. Well how could she? I was a blubbering mess on the phone. I nodded, taking a deep breath. I needed to be strong for Spencer and them.  I was about to start talking but a stern voice interrupted me.

“Hello, Mr. Hale.” Two officers were now standing at the doorway of the waiting room. My stomach tightened up with fear. Was I going to be in trouble for knocking out Spencer’s dad? Or for lying about Spencer being my brother?

“Yes?” Thankfully the fear didn’t register in my voice.

“We have a few questions for you?” The older cop asked. His grey eyes showed slight amounts of compassion. I nodded. They sat down next to me. What was I supposed to say? I knew that before any of this happened Spencer didn’t want the police involved. I didn’t want to do this without him. My palms started sweating like I had done something seriously wrong. I hadn’t. I just had to hope that these cops weren’t homophobic and if they were, well let’s pray that would be able to cast their judgments aside.

“What is your relation to Spencer Cade?” the young cop asked. I shifted uncomfortably in the suddenly hard chair. I looked at the Hartmans. They didn’t offer any help.

“I’m his boyfriend.” I admitted, sheepishly. The older man’s eyes looked shocked but his face was well composed. The young cop sucked in his breath sharply.

“But here it says you told the hospital y’all were brothers.” He asked, looking at his notepad.

“I told them that because I didn’t want them to kick me out the hospital.” This was a Catholic hospital, after all. “Please, don’t tell them,” I was referring to the hospital staff. “I need to be there when he wakes up.” I tried not to sound desperate but I felt like I failed, miserably.

“I don’t see any reason why we would have to tell them, do you, Parker?” The older cop asked the younger cop. I heard Mrs. Hartman let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” I said. No more obstacles that I had to climb over to see Spencer. All he had to do was wake up.

“Good. Now can you tell us what happened?” I nodded again.

“Spencer and I were leaving Mrs. White’s house. His old house is right next to hers so we had no choice but to pass b…by. He came up behind us so fast.” I didn’t even feel like I was in the hospital anymore. I was on that street again, reliving that fear again.” I didn’t see him. He grabbed Spencer by the throat, choking him. I tried to fight him off but he was so strong and he grabbed me. Spencer told me to run and get help but how could I leave him with that man.” The hate and bitterness was strong in my otherwise weak voice. “He said that he was going to kill us. He dragged us into the house and threw us into the floor.” A lump formed in my throat that was impossible to swallow but I did. “He grabbed me and threw me into the table. I don’t really remember what happened after that but when I woke up he wasn’t….Spencer wasn’t awake. His dad was still beating the shit out of him.” I didn’t care about cussing in front of Mrs. Hartman. No other words could accurately describe the scene in my head. “I knocked him out with a case and that was it.”

                Right now, somewhere in this hospital Spencer was fighting for his life, and, here I was crying and blubbering like a coward. They all gave me a moment to pull myself together.

“Do you know how long this abuse has been going on?” the older cop asked.

“He told me ever since he was five.” I said, internally cringing.

“Thank you, Mr. Hale for all this information. We will come back later to talk to Spencer when he wakes.” He said, standing up. I stood up along with the other cop and Mr. Hartman. We all shook hands and said our goodbyes. It grew silent when they left.

“Do you think he is going to make it?” Ms. Niccole asked. Her hands were shaking now. I didn’t know. He looked an inch from death when I woke up. But I had so much faith in Spencer. He was going to wake up. There was no way around it. My mind couldn’t fully comprehend him not waking up.

“He will.” I said. My intentions were to sound firm but it came out sounding like I was trying to convince myself.  Frustrated, I got up and started pacing. Mrs. Hartman tried to get me to stop pacing but after the first few tries she gave up. After that Ms. Niccole was the only one who paid me any attention and that was only between her prayers.

 I paced the waiting room for hours.  Every few seconds, I looked at the clock and cursed it for not moving any faster. Nobody came in to tell us what was going on. According to Mrs. Hartman that was good. No news was good news in her eyes but I didn’t think so. I just needed to know something about what was going on. I kept thinking about what Spencer said, how he told me to leave and get help. Did I do the right thing? What would have happened if I went to go get help? Would Spencer have been worse off or would he been awake right now? I had mostly convinced myself I did the right thing but how could I be sure? I wasn’t so sure if Spencer would think so. I hoped he wouldn’t hate me for the decision I made. That would kill me if he did. I prayed to go for patience. I wasn’t going to make it through this day without some, especially if I was thinking like I was.

Every nurse or doctor that walked by, I asked about Spencer. All their responses were either, “Sorry but I don’t know right now” or “I’ll send someone out to talk to you in a minute”. No one ever came out to talk to us. I kept on pacing. It wasn’t until six nurses and three doctors later that I finally got an answer. It came from a young doctor.

“We have Spencer in his room right now. He is heavily sedated right now so he won’t be waking up for at least a few hours.”

“Is he going to be okay?” I asked, cutting in.

“You are…” The doctor asked, looking at me curiously.

“His brother.” I lied. He looked at me funny but the doctor believed me. I wondered if I should trust someone so stupid with my baby.

“Well to answer your question. Yes he is going to be okay. He suffered several blows to his rib cage which resulted in two broken ribs and several bruised ones. His right wrist was also broken. Snapped in half. We also stitched up several wounds on his arm.” The doctor went on to explain more medical stuff but I didn’t care about what he was saying anymore. Spencer was stable now. He was going to live.

“Can we see him now?” I asked, impatiently after he finished speaking.

“Yes.” The doctor huffed. I pushed past him with the Hartmans following close behind me. We found his room at the end of the ICU corridor. I almost cried when I saw him.

                He was there. Well it kind of looked like Spencer. His messy blond hair was clung to his face. His face was deathly pale. The only color came from the bruises that stained his otherwise white skin. I wanted so badly to see those baby blue eyes open again I knew I had to wait. I looked and saw on his wrist a black cast. He was hooked up to countless machines and gadgets.

“Spencer.” I breathed. I rushed over to him. The Hartmans grabbed chairs and pulled them up next to him. I grabbed his cast free hand and held gently but firm. His skin felt the same as it always had. He may not look exactly like Spencer but it was him. The touch you couldn’t deny. I kissed his hand gently with my lips. I savored it, knowing how close I was to never having this again.

“Thank you, Lord.” Mrs. Hartman said, clutching her chest. I fell into a chair that Mr. Hartman had pushed over to me. We all sat like this for a while. Whispering to the slumbering Spencer and thanking God for letting him live.

A nurse came in and out to check his vitals and would chat with us. Mrs. Hartman was the chattiest out of the four of us. The nurse was nice and sweet but I was focused on my baby. Nobody or anything could distract me from him.

“Billy, are you hungry?” Mrs. Hartman asked, some hours later. In response to her question my stomach growled.

“Yes, ma’am.” I said, embarrassed.

“Why don’t you come down to the cafeteria with us?” She asked.

“No.” I said, quickly. “I mean I can’t leave him. I’m going to be here when he wakes up.” She nodded, not arguing like I expected her to. They all left, quietly. I was happy to have some alone time with Spencer. I was finally able to speak freely. “Hey, baby.” I whispered. “I love you so much.” A kiss to his hand.” Please wake up, love. Just open those pretty eyes of yours.” I kissed his fingers. I begged silently for him to wake up. I looked over injuries and my eyes landed sadly on his wrist. That would ruin his chance for the season. I wondered if he would ever be able to throw the same again. That would kill him. His confidence on the field was like nothing I had ever seen and him losing that. It would be...heartbreaking. 

                Then I heard a heavy breath. It was more labored than the others. I looked at him to see his eyes were still closed and then to the machines to see what caused this change. His heart rate had increased slightly almost as if he were waking up. I sat on the edge of my seat eagerly but nothing happened.

“Damn it.” I whispered about ten minutes later. I sighed and leaned my head against the bed rail. The steady beat started to become an annoyance, reminding me that he still wasn’t awake. I heard another groan. I looked up to see a stirring Spencer. His eyes were moving under his closed eye lids. His head moved back and forth. I held my breath, waiting for those eyes I had missed so much to just open again. I saw that dazzle of blue and my heart skipped a beat.

“Billy.”

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