Array
(
[text] =>
We have a routine down now. I get up, get ready for school, get Beau up, get him ready for the day, get him feed, Sue shows up, I leave for school, go thru my day, go home, chat with Sue, she fills me in on his progress, she leaves, I do my homework, we do his physical therapy, eat dinner, watch movies or tv then to bed. Weekends we just laze around. Well besides his therapy. He can move his whole body now but his legs and toes. So we went the other day for an MRI. Martin just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything physically stopping him. We are headed to his office now for the results.
"You think I'll ever be able to play football again?" he ask quietly.
"I have no doubt you will."
"Seriously Liam."
"I'm being serious Beau. You've never let anything stop you before."
"But I had my legs than!" he yells at me. He is beyond pissed because they won't work.
"Please. Like your gonna let your legs tell you your not playing. The Beau I know would tell his legs their wrong and he will be out on that field again."
"But I'm not the same Beau anymore."
"Like hell your not. Your the same prick I fell in love with five years ago. Okay you've changed a little, your not so egotistical anymore but you still have the same determination."
"Are you sure your not just saying this because you want me to be the same Beau?"
"No actually I've been looking for the changes."
"Why?"
"So it won't hurt."
"What?"
"So it won't hurt."
"What won't hurt?"
"When you get your memory back and you remember you don't love me."
"You still believe that?"
"I don't know. I just want to be prepared." he nods in understanding. "Your having doubt now to aren't you?" he snorts shaking his head.
"No actually I'm finding harder to believe. What's going to happen to me when you find a reason to leave me?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Face it Liam. You've been looking for a reason to leave."
"Far from it Beau. I've been looking for a reason not to get hurt again. Honestly I can't go thru that again. It almost killed me the first time. I can't do it a second time." he nods.
"You haven't told me you loved me since the hospital." he says quietly.
"I just don't want to get hurt again." by now I've pulled up to the office building.
"Do you?"
"More than anything."
"Then say it."
"I can't." I whisper.
"Because you don't!" he yells. "That's bullshit!" I yell back.
"What am I suppose to do?! Wether you want to believe it it or not Liam I do love you!"
"Fine you love me! But are you in love with me?!"
"Yes!"
"You can't be not after what two two and a half months." I whisper.
"Because it was never gone Liam! I know how I feel. I don't give a rats ass what this Chris guy told you. I feel it Liam! I'm in love with you always have been!"
"Yeah and what the fuck happens to me when he decides to show up and your memories come back and you realize these feeling you have for me are the feeling the 16 year old you had for me. While y'all go live happily fucking after. What the fuck happens to me?!"
"It won't happen?!"
"You don't know that?!"
"God damn it Liam! Why are you making this difficult?!" I close my eyes shaking my head.
"I'm not. I'm being realistic." I say calming myself down.
"Bullshit!"
"Let's just get you inside." I say getting out of the car. I get his wheelchair out and open his door.
"You know once I can walk again. There's your fucking reason to leave!"
"If that's what you want! Fine by me!" I start yelling again.
"Your a fucking idiot!"
"Don't I know it! Who else is dumb enough to stick by someone's bed taking care of them for over a year knowing they are going to be dumped in the end!"
"Then fucking stop taking care of me and leave since I seem to be such a burden to you!"
"Did you ever once say you were a burden to me?! No not once. Ever. You dumb ass! Now shut the fuck up!" I pick him up putting him in the chair. Both of us fuming mad.
"Idiot." he mutters as in pushing him inside.
"Jackass."
"Bitch."
"Dick."
"Asshole."
"Mother fucker."
"Prick."
"Geez boys what's with the name calling?" Sue ask as I make it to the check in desk.
"He's being a pain in the ass." Beau grunts.
"He's being a dumb ass." actually this is kinda comical if you ask me. I don't think we ever fought like this. It's kinda fun. I lean over putting my lips to his ear. "Oh I'm fixing to be a huge pain in your ass." I whisper. He huffs folding his arms across his chest. I stand up straight chuckling.
"I don't think so. You can't even say those words."
"I can say them just chose not to."
"Stupid ass."
"I'll be the first to admit it. There's no use in denying how stupid I am."
"Come on guys. Kiss and make up."
"He fucking won't do that either." he groans.
"Come on then let's go see the results." we follow behind silently. We puts us in a room and leaves. We sit in silence until Martin gets in.
"How are you Beau?"
"Better if I knew why my legs won't work and if Liam would stop being an idiot."
"We'll I can some what help with one. The other not so much." he chuckles.
"Let me have it."
"Time."
"Time what's that suppose to mean?"
"It means you just need more time. There isn't anything on the MRIs. No scaring, nothing. Beau it's just going to be a while longer on your legs. Stop rushing it. You just might land up causing damage. Sue tells me how hard you work. Cut it down to two hours a day. Once with Sue, once with Liam. That's it. Time Beau just give it time." Beau nods sighing.
"That's it?" I ask.
"That's it but I want to see him again in a month."
"Got it."
"See ya boys. Two hours only Beau."
"Bye doc."
"Bye." Beau mutters. I think he was looking for something to be wrong. I don't know why but I do. I get him back to the car and start heading home.
"Hungry?" I ask. I can only take so much silence. He shakes his head no. "Can I ask you something?" he nods. "Are you slacking off?"
"What's that suppose mean?"
"Are you not trying?" he stays silent and that answers my question. "Why!" I yell at him. He doesn't say anything. "Why would you be so stupid and quit Beau huh?!"
"Because I know as soon as I fucking better you'll fucking leave?!" he yells turning to me.
"Who's being the fucking idiot now? Damn it your so fucking stupid! I can't believe you!"
"Face it your going to!"
"No Beau! I'm not going anywhere until those words come out of your fucking mouth!"
"Bullshit Liam! That's the only damn reason your staying around is because you think this is you fault once I'm better you'll leave!" I groan loudly wanting to actually rip his head off. I take a couple deep breaths to calm down.
"So your telling me you gave up because you think I'm going to leave once your better?"
"Yeah." he whispers. "You won't say the words anymore and you won't let me say them either." he finishes.
"You don't think I love you do you?" he shakes his head no. "I do Beau. I love you more than anything." he shakes his head no again. I stay silent. I can't let him give up because he thinks I don't love him. He is so fucking wrong. I get us home and into our apartment without a word then take him straight to our bedroom.
I plop on top of him burying my face in his neck. Both of us breathing heavily.
"I'm never moving." he says once we get our breathing under control.
"Mmhmm." I mutter kissing his neck. He runs his hand up and down my back then stops.
"Your bleeding." he tells me. From my back.
"Mmhmm." I mutter again kissing his neck.
"That all you can say?" he chuckles.
"Mmhmm." I mutter again kissing his neck. He laughs shaking his head. Then the doorbell goes off again causing both of us to groan but I stay in my spot.
"You going to get that."
"No." I mutter.
"Why not?"
"I'm staying right here with you." I tell him lifting my head.
"What if its important?"
"If its that important they'll call." he nods closing his eyes running his hand down my back again. "I love you." I tell him kissing his chin.
"Shut up. I love you too." he says with a smile on his face. I say nothing putting my face in his neck. We stay that way for about 15 minutes just holding each other when the damn thing goes off again. We both groan but this time I get up pulling out causing us to groan again. I get up looking for my jeans.
"Where you going?"
"Putting this shit to an end." I tell him showing him my phone. I send a mass text to everyone that would show up. 'do not call do not come over stay away DO NOT DISTURB' and press send. I crawl back on top of him kissing him I break the kiss I roll us over so he is half way on top of me. "I love you." I tell him running my fingers down his back.
"Mmm love you too." he says as he snuggles deeper into me burying his face in my neck. "Hey can I ask you a question?" I roll my eyes.
"Yes Beau."
"Is sex always like that?"
"No not alway we mix it up."
"Better or worse?"
"That's a trick question."
"I mean...." he sighs. "I don't know what I mean."
"If he helps I don't think we've ever had bad sex. It's like that or sometimes better but never worse but that's my opinion." I tell him shrugging. He lifts his head to look at me.
"Than I really don't see me going anywhere."
"Oh so you'll stick around for good sex?"
"No dumb ass because I love you and the amazing sex." I chuckle at that.
"I love you you know that?"
"Yeah but I still love to hear it."
"I love you." I tell him kissing his nose.
"I love you too." he says laying his head back down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vote comment!!!!!!
[text_hash] => 058ae592
)
What do you think?