Array
(
[text] =>

Reid's POV

I got into bed with Sadie and she scooted closer to me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her, kissing her forehead.

"Better. How was the movie?"

"I didn't finish it. I decided to come up here. Do you need anything?" She smiled.

"No, thank you."

"Oliver tried to get Dakota back. He ended up slapping him." Sadie laughed a little.

"That's what he gets." I nodded, agreeing. "Are you sure your Dad doesn't need you tonight?" I sighed.

"I can't always be so focused on him. Sometimes I need to worry about myself." She nodded and rubbed my side. Now, since she brought it up, I began to worry about him. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to not think about it.

But I couldn't stop.

Soon, Sadie fell asleep and I went out on the balcony. I sat down, looking up at the sky.

"What're you doing out here?" Dakota asked me, on the other balcony. I laughed and shook my head.

"What're you doing out here?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I just wish things were different." I nodded.

"Tell me about it." He laughed and I walked back into the room. I left the room and went into his parent's room. I went outside and he jumped in surprise, almost falling off the balcony. I caught him, holding him close.

We were inches apart and I stared at him. Hmm, this doesn't feel bad.

"Why are you always saving me?" He asked me, quietly. I pulled away from him and put my hands in my pockets. He sighed and we both leaned on the rail.

"Maybe you should be more careful Dakota." I told him. He laughed and I shook my head.

"What do you wish could change?" Dakota asked me. I shrugged.

"A lot. But it isn't a perfect world."

"True. I wish you were an asshole and Oliver wasn't an asshole." I laughed and ruffled up his hair and he rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. I'm such a bad best friend."

"I don't think you're so bad." He didn't say anything. "I wish my father wasn't an alcoholic. I wish he didn't need me all the time." He looked at me surprised.

"I had no idea."

"No one does, except for Sadie. I keep it to myself. It's hard to be away from him tonight."

"Don't you stay with Sadie some nights?" I shook my head.

"No, I leave and go take care of him."

"That must be difficult Reid." I shrugged, it was. But by now, I was used to it. "No one else?" I knew what he meant and I shook my head.

"She died." He hugged me tightly and I laughed, hugging him back. It felt weird, hugging him. A good weird though. I almost felt that calm that I felt when I got in the water.

Because Dakota is a good, genuine person. He isn't perfect, and he embraces that, along with everyone else's imperfections. So, when he hugs me, I know it comes from his heart.

I sighed and he rubbed my back.

"You're a strong guy Reid. To think I always just thought you were a stupid, attractive asshole." I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"And I thought you were just an arrogant gay boy." He shrugged, laughing.

"Yeah, that's literally it." We both laughed and he sighed.

"Why do you like me Dakota?" He looked up at me.

"Because... you're the most genuine person I know. And you cared about me more than anyone else here, whether you realized it or not. That night... no one else even realized I was gone. You were the only one who thought to look for me. And, no one except for my parents have ever done anything like that for me. I don't know, I just feel something for you and I think I have for a while. I just realized it when you did that." He leaned up to me and I shook my head.

"I can't do this Dakota."

"I know. I'm sorry."

~

I left Dakota's house early that morning, along with Sadie. I needed to get home to check on my dad, not to mention get away from his house. He kept his head down as we left, trying not to look at me.

I wasn't angry with him or anything. I knew he needed to get over me, so I decided to try and push him away. The bad thing is, I don't really want to.

I actually wanted to become good friends with him. But that would only happen in a perfect world: if he didn't like me.

I drove Sadie home and kissed her goodbye.

"Are you sure you can't stay longer?" She asked me, hopefully.

"I've got to get to my father. I'll see you later babe. Love you." She nodded and waved.

"I love you too Reid!" I began the drive to my house.

I made it home, sighing in relief when I saw my father's car in the yard. I went into the house and put the keys down.

"Dad?" I yelled out. I didn't hear anything, but the house was a mess. I looked around, trying to find him. He wasn't in his room and he wasn't in the living room. "Dad?" I heard groaning and I walked towards it, getting to my room.

I saw him on the floor in my room, half asleep. I sighed and went over to him.

"Come on, get up." His eyes opened slowly and he reached for me.

"I thought you left me Reid. I'm so sorry I'm like this, please don't leave me! I'll do better." I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to do better. It was impossible at this point. This conversation had happened plenty of times. I'd now lost hope.

"No Dad, I'm not leaving. Let's get you up." He nodded and I helped him up. He put an arm around my shoulder and I carried him to his room. I laid him in his bed and he sighed.

"You know Reid, it's nice to have you here." I rolled my eyes. He always told me that when he wanted a drink.

"I'm not getting you a drink Dad. The only thing I'll give you is water." He stared at me pleadingly.

"Go to sleep." I told him. He shook his head, reaching his hand out. "Now. You've had enough. Your shirt's still wet, you just had a drink." He looked down at it and I shook my head, pulling it off of him. I went to his wardrobe to find a different shirt and he was laid out on the bed, asleep. "Great." I mumbled, somewhat relieved.

I went downstairs and began to clean the house. It wouldn't stay clean for long, but it needed to be cleaned anyway.

I couldn't stand to stay in a house this dirty, it made me itch.

So, I cleaned up for about five hours of the day. This was one of the longest clean sessions, probably because I was usually here during his drinking spell.

I looked down at my phone to see a missed call from Sadie. I didn't want to talk right now. I knew she would ask me about him and it wasn't a conversation I wanted to have.

I looked through instagram, seeing a post from Dakota. It was a picture of he and Sadie at the lake.

I don't swim, but I do get in the water so my body will glisten when I get out. He captioned.

I laughed and shook my head. That it did.

I sighed, thinking of Dakota. I wouldn't mind talking to him right now. But of course, I knew I shouldn't. I went to the kitchen to cook. I knew my dad would be awake soon and he'd be hungry.

I began to cook a chicken pot pie. He loved those and so did I.

I looked at the pool in our backyard and sighed. It'd be nice to get in.

My house was pretty big. Because my father still worked, not to mention my grandparents were rich.

My father worked as a car salesman. He had a better job at first, but he lost it when Mom died.

I finished cooking to see my father walking into the kitchen.

"Goodmorning son." He told me, holding his head.

"Morning Dad. Your medicine's there." I nodded my head towards the medicine.

"Thanks. What're you cooking up?" He asked me, coming over my shoulder.

"Pot pie." He smiled and patted my back.

"Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah, it was nice. Same as every time I go somewhere with friends, honestly." He laughed and leaned on the counter.

"I know you don't trust me much anymore Reid but... I want to try and get some help." I kept cooking, not looking up. "Seriously. I'm tired of putting you through this. You can't even stay with Sadie for a whole night because of me. You should be living your life." I sighed, not wanting to hear him. But I knew if I got mad at him he'd just go drink.

"Okay Dad, go for it. It'd make me happy to have you sober more." He smiled and stared at me.

"I'm proud of you Reid. Making it through life, doing what you have to and still taking care of me. I love you." I didn't want to dwell on the past, and I knew he loved me, but I wish he'd show it more than this.

"I love you too Dad." He patted my back and I sighed quietly.

~

We'd eaten and Dad and I were now watching TV. It was around the time, now, for him to start his drinking. Surprisingly, he was doing fine. I decided to go ahead and call Sadie back. I hadn't talked to her all day, but I think she was used to it most of the time.

"Hey baby, it's nice to hear your voice." She said once she answered.

"Hey, I was spending the day with Dad."

"That sounds... nice. Dakota and I went to the mall today. He's been weird with me lately, but I won't bother him too much."

"Yeah, maybe you should give him some time. We did stay up late last night."

"Hmm, yeah I guess you're right." I saw my dad get up and go go to the kitchen and I followed him. He put his hands on the counter, looking around. I didn't go into the kitchen yet, just stood outside the room. Sadie was still talking and I tried to listen, but I was more focused on my dad.

He sighed and looked at the cabinet where he keeps his alcohol.

"Babe, do you hear me?"

"Yeah, I gotta go." I told her and hung up. My dad turned towards the cabinet before running his hands over his face.

"Why can't you be better?" He muttered to himself. I sighed and he turned around and looked at me. He jumped in surprise. "Reid! I swear, I wasn't going to get any." I frowned and went over to him. I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back. He began crying on my shoulder. "I miss her so much. And I know you miss her and I'm such a horrible father Reid. But, it just keeps calling me. I just feel like nothing without it. I want to be what I used to. I want to swim with you again." I took a shaky, deep breath, tears falling down my face.

"I know Dad. I know."

"I'm so so sorry son." I shook my head and closed my eyes as he cried to me.

"Do you want to get help? I know Grandma and Grandpa won't pay, but I'll go get a job. I'll pay for you to get help Dad." He pulled back and stared at me. He wiped his eyes.

"No. I'll take care of it. I love you Reid."

"I love you too Dad." He smiled and left the room.

Two hours later, I caught him in his room, drinking whiskey.

"I knew you were full of shit." I hissed at him.

"Reid, I–"

"Save it. Stop lying to me. Try harder!" He stared at the bottle, and I left his room. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I laid my head in my hands and cried.

How can I help him?

[text_hash] => 45c8b784
)