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Harry's POV

"Oh my god". I couldn't believe it.

"I t-told you it's b-bad Harry".

"Y-you kill people!?...oh my god you're a fucking murderer!?" Niall didn't do anything. "I-I need to get out of here". I stood up and walked towards the front door. He tugged me back.

"I-I...p-please let m-me-" I snatched my arm from his grasp.

"Get your hands off me! Don't touch me!" I screamed in his face and he stared back at me in fright.

"H-Harry please l-let me-"

"Don't! Don't come near me!"

"P-please Harry I-I-"

"You kill people! Get off of me!" I shoved him away and ran out the front door, over to mine and ran inside, closing the door quickly.

"Where have you been you piece of shit!? Where's my beer!?" I felt force to my face and fell to the ground. "I want my beer!" Another hit. "Where have you been!?"

"I-I was next d-door with Niall".

"Who is Niall? IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND!? Are you a fag?" I was picked up by my t shirt and shoved against the door, my legs dangling. "Are you a penis sucking fag?" I whimpered and he dropped me on the ground, my bum hitting the floor hard. "GET OUT!" My eyes widened.

"W-what?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"B-but I'm o-only seventeen!"

"I DONT CARE! YOU'RE A FAG! GET THE FUCK OUT!" He opened the door and shoved me. I fell on the cold pavement. "Leave! You disgust me!" He slammed the door shut and I whimpered. Where am I supposed to go? My phone is in Niall's house, my dad will never let me step foot in the house again, Louis, Zayn and Liam live too far to walk. I have absolutely no money. It's fucking freezing. What am I supposed to do? I curled up on the ground and shivered, my lips trembling as I closed my eyes. I lay there for about an hour, trying to sleep until I heard footsteps only feet away from me. I cautiously opened my eyes.

"Harry? W-why are y-you out h-here? I-it's f-free-freezing!" I felt completely numb and was suddenly in Niall's arms, off the cold ground. "I-I promise I w-won't hurt you". I felt warmth engulf me as he took me indoors and put me on the couch. "I-I'll warm y-you up o-o-okay? D-don't want you g-getting s-s-sick". A blanket wrapped around me. My head was lifted, and put back down on his lap as he ran his fingers through my hair softly. "I-I lied to y-you". I frowned slightly. "I don't k-kill people. I n-never have. I'm not a-a murderer. I-I'm sorry I l-lied. I j-just was s-scared. I have agoraphobia. I f-fear of l-leaving a safe p-place, meaning m-my home. I-I'm afraid of getting h-hurt. I c-can't trust a-anyone. T-that's why I-I l-lied to y-you. I-I'm just so a-afraid of everyone. B-but I s-seem to l-like you. I-I don't trust y-you b-but I f-feel slightly s-safe with y-you. I-I have agoraphobia, OCD, claustrophobia..I-I just h-hate outdoors. I-it's scary, a-and dirty and c-crowded. I-I couldn't h-have kids b-because I-I am not g-good for them. I-I try not t-to think about i-it, but r-really it's the only t-thing that helps me f-forget about h-how lonely I am. H-how unloved I feel. I-I've always b-been ashamed t-to admit it t-to myself. I-I'm a twenty three year o-old man. P-pathetic right?" He scoffed and I began to feel my legs again.

"You're not pathetic Niall".

"Y-yes I am! I'm afraid to l-leave m-my house! I freaked o-out when I w-went to get you". I frowned.

"It's not your fault". I nestled my head more in his lap, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of his fingers running through my hair. "Why did you help me Niall? You said you don't trust anyone? Why did you leave the safety of your home, only to get me into the safety of your home? Niall why?" I looked up at him curiously. He shrugged.

"I-I don't know. I honestly h-have no idea". I nodded. "Do you w-want something t-to eat? I can m-make you a sandwich f-for lunch?" I shook my head

"I think I want to call Louis".

"W-what? B-but why?" Niall looked hurt.

"I need to ask him if I can't stay there for a little bit". He looked up to me with a slight sign of pain.

"B-but you c-can stay with m-me?"

"No I can't". I frowned. "Can I please go and get my phone?" His hands left my head and I got up, walking up the stairs to the spare room. I grabbed my phone and dialled Louis' number.

"Haz?" Louis breathed out.

"Hi Lou". I sat on the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Dad kicked me out". I heard a groan and frowned.

"O-oh why?"

"Lou? What are you doing?" He moaned.

"Nothing! Why did he-" he gasped.

"Lou, he knows I'm gay. He kicked me out. I don't have anywhere to go".

"Shit Zayn!" My eyes widened.

"Lou what the fuck!?"

"S-sorry Haz. I-I'll come p-pick you up then?" I heard Zayn chuckle in the background and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. Thanks. And clean yourself up first would you?" I hung up. Seriously, why answers the phone in the middle of sexual intercourse?

"So h-he's coming to g-get you then?" I nodded. "Y-you are w-welcome to stay here you k-know?" I shrugged and stood up, walking out the room.

"What's in there?" Niall followed my gaze to the closed door.

"Just my g-guitars".

"You play guitar?" He nodded. Fuck that would be hot! Wait, what?

"And s-sing too".

"Do you write?" He nodded again.

"S-sometimes yeah". I heard the horn of Louis' car.

"I should go". I turned and started walking.

"W-wait!" I looked back at him. "C-can I just do something first?" I shrugged and nodded. He moved closer to me, bring his hand up shakily to my cheek and leaning closer. His lips softly pressed against mine, moving hesitantly and I carefully kissed back. He pulled away after a few short minutes with a small, nervous smile. "T-thank you". I walked down the stairs and out to see Louis in my dads driveway. He gave me a confused look as I got in the car. I looked up go see Niall looking down at me out the window.

"Hi Lou". He started to drive.

"Why were you there?" I sighed.

"Long story Lou". He rolled his eyes.

"I have a long time to listen. Spill!" I sighed again.

"The other day I went to his house to apologise. About us disturbing him. He asked me what happened to my face and I asked him what's wrong with his fingers and he just closed the door in my face. The next day after school, I was walking and I saw him rush out of his home looking slightly panicked and I asked him what he was doing. He began to have a panic attack and I took him inside his house, sitting on the couch. Long story short, I slept over because....because..."

"Spit it out Harry!" He continued to drive, muttering a small sorry from his harsh tone.

"My dad hits me. I was meant to get him beer but then I ran into Niall and by the time he calmed down, the shop was closed. I was too scared to go home. So I slept over and then this morning, he had OCD so he was kind of weird but then we were sitting at his table and he wanted to tell me something but he said he couldn't and he told me he would if I kissed him and so I did and fuck Lou that kiss was amazing....Then he told me".

"Wow okay. So, what is it then?" Louis parked in his driveway.

"He said he's a killer"

"He's a what?" Louis looked at me incredulously.

"I ran home and when I walked in I told my dad I was with him and he figured out I was gay somehow and he kicked me out, saying I'm a fag and I disgust him and I didn't have my phone because it was in Niall's house so I just lay on the ground for about an hour then Niall took me to his house and he told me he lied because he was afraid and he has never killed a person but he has agoraphobia, meaning he's afraid to leave his house because it's safe and he said he feels so unloved and lonely and I feel like he could be something to me. Lou I'm so confused!"

"Okay. Let's go inside okay?" I nodded and we walked in. "Mum! I'm home!" Louis' mum came into view and smiled warmly.

"Hello Harry". I smiled politely.

"Hello Miss-"

"How many times do I have to tell you!? Call me Jay!" I smiled.

"We'll be upstairs mum". Louis pulled me to his room and closed his door. "Okay Harry. I need you to calm down. What's he like?" We sat on his bed and he gave me a comforting smile.

"He has the most beautiful, deep blue eyes, and his hair looks so sof-"

"Harry I know what he looks like!" Louis chuckled and I blushed.

"Okay, well he's really sweet, and he's caring. I think he's just scared and lonely. He's fragile. He lives all alone and doesn't have anyone. It actually hurts me to see him feeling that way". I looked up to see Louis smiling widely at me. "What?"

"You like him Harry".

"What!?" My eyes widened. "No I can't! He's twenty three years old!"

"Harry, it's okay to like someone. How many times have you kissed?"

"Twice". Louis pulled me into a hug.

"Aww my Hazza likes someone!"

"Lou-"

"I've been waiting for someone to come along for you!" I smiled slightly.

"Really?"

"Yeah really! You're my best friend! I can tell when you're upset and lonely"

"Lou, that doesn't mean he likes me". Louis scoffed.

"Haz, tell me, who initiated both kisses?"

"He did". I blushed slightly.

"See!" I smiled.

"Lou, thank you".

"I'm your best friend! It's my job to help you! But we have school tomorrow, so we should eat and go to sleep, okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah. But I've been wearing these clothes for two days". Louis gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I'll find you something tomorrow". We ate dinner with his mum and four sisters and helped cleaning the dishes, going back up the stairs.

"Can I have a shower Lou?"

"Of course Haz! I'll just get you some clothes". He handed me a t shirt, boxers and track suit pants. I went to the bathroom, stripping down and staring at my scarred, bruised body. Most were from my dad but some of them, I was the cause. I started to cut myself two months ago and still am. I do it every day just about. I don't know why. I just like to punish myself. I like the feeling. I just always feel useless and pathetic.

I turned the water on and stepped in the shower, tilting my head back and relaxing all my muscles. I cleaned my body and hair, stepping out and drying myself, getting dressed. I pulled my blade from my jeans and sat on the floor. I slid it across my skin. Pathetic. I continued to make another. Useless. Another. Alone. Another. Disappointment.

"Haz? You okay?" I jumped and dropped the blade.

"Yeah! I'll be a minute!" The door opened.

"I've seen you naked before Haz, no need to pan-" he gasped and rushed to my side. "No! Shit! Haz why". He grabbed a towel and held it to my wrist. I began to sob and he pulled me to his chest tightly. "Shh it's okay. It's okay. Haz. You're okay".

"I'm sorry".

"It's okay Harry. It's okay". He rocked us slightly and held me tightly as I soaked his t shirt with my tears. "It's okay".

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