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Calder stared at Hemming expectedly while the man made a disgruntled face and hummed brokenly.

"I do not know how to describe it. What I was told as a child, is that there are hearts that Máni has broken apart. Each part of a heart is placed in another's body, waiting for the other part to its other half." Hemming eventually got out.

Calder furrowed his brow; the moon broke Hale and Padmas heart so that they would come together? Presumably Hemming and Calder also.

"I am sorry. I am not good at describing these things." Hemming sighed with a grimace. "Think of it as this; Hale and Padma could not love someone as much as they love each other. Their hearts form into one; they are destined to be together."

"This is for Ulfhednar?" Calder questioned, a little confused why he had never heard of this.

"For my kind, yes. Our beasts are like real wolves, but we do not get to choose where the other half of our heart as fallen."

"How do you know if you have met the other half of your heart? Why did Máni break the hearts?" Calder enjoyed making Hemming answer questions, the face he makes when he thinks is very handsome.

"Your wolf tells you. Your mates scent is richer and notably different from another's; you love them for all they all, even their flaws." Hemming stared at Eira and Calder could tell that his mind had drifted.

"Have you met your mate?" Calder asked and smiled softly at Hemming; he almost did not want to ask. What if Hemming had a mate somewhere and Calder meant nothing to Hemming? But then, Hemming himself had called Calder his mate.

Hemming snapped his gaze to Calder's with a blush before backing away and pulling his finger from Eira's clenched fist.

"It does not matter at the moment. Máni broke the hearts of Sköll and Hati in half so that they would never find love, as the two wolves chased Máni and Sól, they would never see each other."

Calder frowned when Hemming backed off and replaced his own finger where the older mans had been when Eira has started to fuss.

"Máni did the same for the Ulfhednar who had changed; but did not consider that once the hearts were united, the love would be stronger than a normal humans." Hemming said and stood, walking to wear Calder's trousers and boots lay in favor of moving them around to dry all the cloth.

Calder stayed silent; so if what Hemming had said this morning was correct, Hemming and Calder shared a heart? They had a love stronger than what Calder would ever have with another human?

Calder frowned deeper as he looked back down to Eira, running the back of a finger against her cheek for comfort.

Why did Hemming hesitate in telling him? Did Hemming not wish for Calder to be his mate?

Padma and Hale seemed in love, why could Hemming and him not have the same thing.

This made Calder's heart clench painfully, it hurt to know that Hemming did not want him; in his mind he knew this when they met, but this confirmed it.

With all the impossible things that had been happening; Calder learning of how some of the Ulfhednar could change to wolves, finding a baby in the woods, Calder's strange desire for standing in the rain for hours on end, two ravens following him around that seem to eerily resemble Huginn and Muninn, and now the thing that broke him was Hemming not wanting him.

Calder tried to hide the tears streaming down his face silently, keeping his head down and looking to Eira as if she would help. He had tightened his shoulders so that they did not shake; he would not cry again over some pathetic infatuation with another man.

Hemming did not seem to notice his tears, thankfully; and once Calder had got himself under control he sniffed slowly to keep the suspicion down and carefully wiped his face.

"Would you hold her for me? I need to go piss." Calder asked and held Eira out for Hemming to take. The man nodded silently and Calder sighed before picking his trousers up.

He slid the pants on before unclipping the cloak, not wanting to get it wet as he went into the rain.

Calder hummed when he stepped out side again, the rain only a drizzle compared to what it was last night.

He did not have to piss.

Calder needed to get out of that cave and away from fucking Hemming. Not that he was mad at the man, but it was certainly a better choice to break down away from Hemming instead of near him.

He did not need kind words and coddling, he needed to scream and cry and punch things with the past week he has had.

Calder knew there was the river off back west, but that was too far. The rain was too small to be enough for him; and the river was too far... but the snow melting and running down the mountain was enough.

He gave one last look to where the mouth of the cave was before turning and beginning to climb a slope of snow that led higher up the peak.

Calder did not feel the snow that he was treading on, nor the icy rain that was becoming colder every advance of his legs took him.

He had never climbed a mountain before, and was thankful for the days of walking he had done building his leg muscles.

He slipped a few times, understandable with how wet the rocks were; but he saw a steady waterfall of glacier water and immediately quickened his pace.

It did not matter if he was confused. He did not care if he had no idea what was happening to him. All that mattered was that it was happening, whether Calder wished for it or not.

His bare feet were surely bloody with how many times he had stepped on the wrong rock, but as he stepped into the pool of water that the fall had created, he did not feel pain.

It was deep enough to swim in, and Calder did just that. He jumped in and let himself glide through the water.

It was like his dream again; the air escaping his lungs and Calder not fighting it. It felt right.

He could feel chunks of ice bumping his chest as he sunk, not stopping until he was laying with his back on the floor of the pool.

Calder felt like he was at home under the water, he did not need to breathe at the moment. Like he could hold his breath for hours; not like the dream when he inhaled the water, he did not want to do that.

You cannot stay here forever. The pack needs you. Your mate needs you.

Calder closed his eyes. The new voice in his mind did not frighten him as he thought it would.

It was right, after all. Who was he to question such a kind and familiar voice...

It has been too long. You cannot stay in this water for longer, only the ocean. Always the ocean, Calder.

Calder's eyes shot open and he moved, kicking his feet off the icy bottom in order to spring himself up to the surface; he had run out of air.

When the water broke, he gasped loudly and pulled in all the air he had been lacking.

"Shit! Calder, are you okay?"

Calder snapped his head over to the voice, it was only Hemming.

He sighed lowly and swam back over to the edge of the pool, hauling himself up on two legs.

It was not raining anymore and Calder frowned but walked to Hemming nonetheless.

Calder jumped when he was enveloped in a hug, Hemming's warm body was certainly felt seeing as Calder had spent who know how long in freezing ice cold water; not that he minded.

"I followed your scent here after you did not come back; Why did you leave?" Hemming pulled back and put a hand to Calder's cheek.

"Why do you not wish to be my mate, Hemming?" Calder removed the mans warm palm and watched as Hemming face furrowed.

"What-"

"Is it because I am a man? Because I have something happening that is too much for you to handle?" Calder advanced slowly, pushing the man back towards the mountainside.

"Calder-"

"Is it because I am weak? Or is it because you know that deep down, I am stronger than perhaps even you?"

Calder had steadily become angrier, his emotions welling up until he finally brought to hands forward and shoved Hemming as hard as he could.

He watched in horror as Hemming shot backwards and smacked against the stone cliff.

Calder did not mean to do that. He did not mean to hurt Hemming, he only wanted to release the anger that had built up; he thought Hemming would barely move.

"Oh, gods. Hemming, I am so sorry." Calder gasped and rushed forward to check on the groaning man.

The rock behind his was cracked, close to shattering if there had been any more force.

"Hemming? Are you alright? Please tell me you are alright." Calder said and held his hands up, scared to touch the wolf in case he caused more damage.

"I am fine, Calder. I might be a tad bruised if not anything else." Hemming hissed as he worked to stand up.

Calder watched with fearful eyes as Hemming used the cliff side as an anchor to finish pulling himself up.

Calder could not get the words to form in his throat, all he could do was stare with wide eyes that were steadily prickling with tears; gods he has cried too many times this week.

"We should go back to the cave, everyone was worried about you." Hemming said and rubbed his chest, Calder only nodded as the pang of guilt went through him.

They did not talk while they descended the mountain slowly; not that Calder was surprised.

Hemming had yet to address that Calder knew he was the wolf's mate, or that Calder had shoved the larger and stronger man into the side of a cliff.

Calder did not blame him. What he did was awful, and maybe this was why Hemming did not wish to be his mate. The wolf knew that he was more trouble than it was worth.

"Calder! Hey, are you alright?" Halina rushed through two as soon as they returned into the cave.

Calder sighed sadly and nodded, walking past the woman and reaching for his cloak; though, he dropped it when he realized that maybe Hemming would want it back since he bought it.

He instead reached for his dry tunic and pulled it on, sitting harshly next to the fire on the side farthest away from the pack.

Calder saw that everyone was staring perplexed at how off he seemed. It did not matter to him, he was going to leave anyway.

He exhaled sharply and ran a hand through wet and tangled blonde locks, yanking at the long hair when a knot made itself known.

Calder could feel their stares as he tried to maintain the mess atop his head.

"Stop staring. I know I fucked up; I will be gone by dusk." Calder snapped and finally ripped through a particularly stubborn tangle.

They did not stop looking at him after he spoke; instead, Halina whipped around to face Hemming and jabbed a finger into his chest.

"You fix this. Now." She sneered and stormed out of the cave, followed by the rest of the pack and the small babe.

Hemming let out a weak growl at his sister as she left, barely having it echo in the space.

Calder did not look at the man, instead taking to looking at his feet; they had been bloody before, but now there were only smudges of dirt on them from when they walked back.

"Calder, how did you know you are my mate?" Hemming finally asked and sat down stiffly next to the younger man.

Calder sighed and abandoned his feet.

"I was awake this morning when you were talking with the others. It is why I asked about mates; though, I actually was curious about it before then too."

Hemming nodded slowly and tossed a small pebble he had found across the cave.

"I was frightened that you would think it odd for two men to be together." Hemming finally murmured out as if he was a scolded child.

Calder scoffed with disbelief. All this because they were both scared of the others attitude towards men fucking?

"Mates are a big thing for wolves. I wanted to make sure you had settled with all the other things you had learned before pushing the fact that we are destined to be together on top of it."

Calder nodded, that was reasonable. There was a lot of new discoveries in both Calder's self and the others that he had never thought would happen.

"When you did not come back, I had to wait until Hale came back so that Eira was not left alone. I tracked your scent up the mountain and saw blood and I could feel nothing but despair. Once I reached the pool, you were already down at the bottom." Hemming explained with a frown.

Calder winced without sound; it sounds worse when Hemming recalls it.

"I knew you were not dead, but you were down there for hours. The rain had stopped only an hour after I found you and I sat there until you finally came up."

Hemming had reached a hand up to twist at the braids in his beard.

"I just needed to get away for a bit. I was bitter that you did not want to be my mate, and all the introductions to new things; I felt I needed to soak a tad. I knew that there would be pools or streams from the snow melting and did not think twice before finding on of them." Calder explained.

"I do want you to be my mate, Calder. But I do not wish to force you into a relationship that you do not want nor have time for."

"Of course I want a relationship with you. I have been gawking over you for the past week or so." Calder chuckled in relief.

He was almost certain that the man did not want him, and now he did; Calder was delighted.

Hemming also chuckled and turned to face Calder with his body.

"Then, Calder, I wish to court you. You have things you are finding out about yourself that are unheard of, and I would like to ease those discoveries by you allowing me courtship." Hemming blushed and put a warm hand on Calder's still wet leg.

"I would love that, Hemming. But, I would also like to court you. Since I am a man also." Calder smiled and placed his hand on Hemming's.

Hemming laughed softly and nodded.

"Of course. Though, perhaps you should wait until we have reached the ocean and obtained answers. I would not want you too riddled with things to do."

"Yes. That might be best. I have a feeling the ocean will tell me all that I need to know."

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