Chapter 4: Chapter Four: Dagaz

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"Do you wish to talk about it?"

Hemming and Calder sat propped against a larger tree, the larger man holding the others hand gently.

Calder made a noise in the back of his throat, it did not express his answer, only that he had heard Hemming.

When he had finally calmed, Hemming explained that he had woken in the morning screaming. Calder felt bad that he had most likely woke someone.

Everyone was awake when Calder snapped out of it, though who knew how he was there with them watching; all hovering around him with concerned looks, even Lagina and Nadir.

Hemming had told them to all go for a run or hunt, just something, he said. Now, he and Calder are alone and Calder feels like shite.

"It felt real." He finally murmured, looking off to the side that Hemming was not on.

Hemming only squeezed Calder's hand.

"I was in the water; a lake or ocean, I do not know. I just walked out and sunk, and I kept thinking I should have drowned or died but it never happened."

Calder thought back to how his lungs filled with water, and how he sunk like a stone under the surface.

"Then I woke up; or I thought I did. It was dark out and there wasn't a fire so it was cold. I crawled until I hit... until I found a body; and I realized it was you. It hurt so much, and I do not know why." Calder said in a broken voice, turning to face Hemming.

The man had a frown on his face, looking at Calder with an indescribable sadness.

"I thought it was real. I thought you were dead and it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. But I do not know you, so it shouldn't have hurt so much." Calder sighed quietly.

"You know me more than the others. I am who you are closest to out of the band, perhaps this is why." Hemming said with another small squeeze.

Calder shook his head gently. He wanted to think that was what happened, but this was different. Calder did not know how to explain it, only that it was one of the most painful things he had ever felt.

"Perhaps." Calder muttered and closed his eyes, thumping his head back onto the tree behind them.

Hemming did not say anything more, only sitting next to Calder quietly.

Calder let out a slow sigh before standing up and slipping his hand from Hemming's.

"We should begin walking again." He said and leaned down to collect the fur and blanket for the second time.

"Are you sure? You do not wish to talk anymore?" Hemming questioned and stood up too, crossing his arms and unknowingly showing off the large biceps that grew there.

"What is there to talk about? It is done, it was only a dream. There is no reason to dwell in the past when we can be moving forward." Calder huffed gently and folded the blanket quickly. "Is there a way you can get everyone back here? I am sure they could not have gone far."

Hemming gave a strange look towards Calder before nodding and bringing his fingers to his mouth, letting out a sharp whistle that was loud enough to echo through the woods.

Calder grinned at the thought of Hemming treating the band like dogs. As if they would come running back to their master in a heartbeat; Calder knew they would.

It did not take long for the band to form again, Halina being the first one back.

"Are you alright, Calder? I was so worried." She sighed dramatically as soon as she saw Calder.

"Yes. Just a night terror." Calder smiled gently as he stood against a tree.

"Well, I know how terrible those can get; Did you and Hemming talk?" Halina crossed her arms.

"As much as we needed to, yes." Calder said and dug one of his booted feet into the snow.

Halina frowned but left it alone, giving a nod before walking to where she slept to begin gathering her items.

The rest came after that rather quickly, Padma and Hale holding hands as they walked back into the area. Nadir trudging along after them with a rabbit; which Calder thought was strange since the man had not brought a weapon. Lagina was last, coming back with her hair wet with snow, evidence being the clumps that still remained.

They packed up efficiently, returning to their formation from before as they walked; though, this time Calder and Nadir were switched, Hemming pulling the younger man next to him with a flat look.

The birds remained silent, and Calder was beginning to become used to how they halted their singing when they band walked forward.

There was talking again, no longer the stiff reticence that was present before.

Calder was pleased that his wound barely made itself know, save for the sharp thrum when he coughed or inhaled sharply; though perhaps that was only the disuse of his body before when walking for so long.

Padma had said that he didn't need a salve anymore, and just a strip of cloth in case the scab broke. They also seemed slightly confused whenever they saw the wound, as if it was a shock that it was healing so fast. Calder ignored it; he was becoming accustomed to the bands odd behavior.

Similar to the past day, this one also flew by quickly.

There was the same pause midday for some dried meat and this time, bread was added also. They kept moving while they ate, keeping the pace steady.

Hemming and Calder did not talk, only Calder stole glances at the man next to him.

Though, Hemming made sure to point out a branch or two hidden by the snow, and Calder thanked him quietly as he avoided it.

Calder listened in on the conversations being had behind him. Halina and Nadir talking about what crops they should plot when they reach their destination; Nadir saying that he was going to build a house for just him and Halina slapping his arm, saying that he would not last a night alone without the others.

Calder smiled softly at the sentiment, thinking it was nice how close they all were.

The band was a family, something that Calder had never truly experienced before. He dreaded to think of his childhood when he was finally free of the chains that bound him to it.

Calder was free of his mother, so he should not be dwelling on what she had done. The past was the past, and the future was making itself known.

"So, the sun has finally decided to show itself." Hale remarked when a break in the clouds lit the forest, showing the band that it was nearing dusk.

Nobody responded, only taking in the sunshine that they had not seen in days. The winter cloud cover had been thick that week, shrouding the land in a grey luminance.

As Calder walked, his eyes were trained on how the sun made the snow glitter; this made his focus shift from the ground and miss a particularly big branch arched over his path.

He tripped and made to stumble forward with his knees on the ground but was stopped by a muscled arm shooting out to catch him in his middle.

Calder yelped and clutched the arm for balance before steadying himself. He turned to Hemming in order to thank him but his breath fell short at how the man looked; lit up from the sun that was shining from the side as he turned, his eyes lit up in a golden ring.

"Ah, Thank You." Calder sputtered and began walking forward again, not wanting the others behind him to bump into his back.

Hemming smiled in confusion at his reaction but continued next to him nonetheless.

Calder tried desperately to not look next to him and attempt to catch a glimpse of the older man in the sun again.

The way his hair was bathed in a shining light, and his pupils constricting to show more of the hazel honeyed color. Calder should not think of it.

Thinking about men that way is wrong. Hemming would think him a freak if he knew that Calder was having those thoughts.

Calder sighed lowly, not enough for the others to notice. He only trudged forward and tried not to think of the way Hemming's arm felt around his abdomen.

The injury on his side was surprisingly calm for the touch it received; even Calder was wondering why it did not send a shot of pain out through his body.

He prodded the area gently and felt nothing, maybe it was healed enough then. Calder hummed dismissively and stared ahead, careful to keep an eye out for any hazards.

The sun stayed out for a while, it sunk behind them slowly and Calder enjoyed seeing the golden light touch the backs of trees, warming his own back as it shone.

But, eventually it fell beneath the horizon and left only a glow to light the forest.

Hemming kept them walking until they found a suitable place to settle for the night, the snow blanketing the clearing thickly.

Calder went through the motions of stamping down an area for him to lay the fur down, flattening the snow so there was a thick step from where he would be sleeping.

Nadir made the fire that night, skinning and roasting the rabbit he had caught that morning.

They had all sat around and were chatting quietly when Hemming had stood and shot off into the woods.

Lagina stood up too and was going to follow but Nadir gave her a look that Calder could not quite decipher.

Calder felt his heartbeat quicken as they waited for Hemming to return. Halina had said something about maybe the man had to piss badly and Calder tried to believe her; but he knew it was something else.

The fire crackling was the only sound as they waited. Calder had been scanning where Hemming had run off for any movement, only finding a pair of ravens staring at him for most of the noise he had heard.

The sun had settled by the time Hemming came back, arms holding something close to his chest. Calder's eyes widened as he realized what the shape looked like.

"Hemming? Is that-" Halina stuttered as she gestured to the bundle.

"A babe?" Calder finished as Hemming revealed the tiny pink face.

"It was crying. I found it in a shack, it's parents are dead. Somebody killed them." Hemming explained and sat down next to Halina in order to pass the babe to his sister.

"They left a babe alone to die?" Halina frowned and took the child.

Hemming only nodded with a sad expression. They sat in silence while Halina checked the babe for any injuries while it slept.

"She is a girl. No wounds, only cold."

Calder sighed out in relief, he had little experience with babes, but he still would dread having to bury one.

"Can you... feed her?" Hemming asked with a slight nod towards Halinas chest.

Halina made a disgusted look and shot a foot out to kick Hemming's leg.

"Please do not gesture to my tits as if they are a magic solution to this problem. But yes, I can." Halina said and huffed as she rubbed a finger against the child's nose. "She does not need to eat now, just to sleep and be warm."

Calder stared as Halina coddled the babe, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning his chin on the tops of them.

They were going to keep the babe, right? Or would they try and stop at a village and leave it there? He hoped they kept it; Calder would love to have a child running around wherever they settled.

It seemed that everyone was doing the same as Calder; looking and watching the baby sleep like it was going to break or suddenly begin crying.

Nobody moved for a long time, just staring and hoping.

Hemming eventually called that they should get some sleep if they were to continue their journey in the morning.

Calder did not want to, but he laid down and settled himself for sleep. He watched as Halina laid down also and tucked the babe against her chest underneath a blanket.

He kept his eyes glued to the pair until they grew heavy enough to close.

Sleep came easier than he thought it would, but he embraced it yet.

Hopefully there would be no night terrors this night.

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