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The rain was falling heavily onto John, soaking him through to the bone. Drops of water ran from his bedraggled hair down his cheeks, mixing with tears as he watched my window. He was shaken and confused by what just happened.

"Jack... It nearly happened again..." He muttered, tasting bile in his throat. He inhaled deeply and turned his face up to the sky to let the cool rain cleanse his mind. "I don't understand why he didn't let me... I thought he wanted me as much as I do for him... I mean, I'm the hottest boy in school... A freak like him should fall to his knees and suck my cock at my demand!"

He automatically felt bad and he tried to ignore the pleasure from the image. He actually would love that and that was what he wanted.

He felt regret crash down upon him like a weight. He bit his lip and clenched his fists, the lump in his throat hardened painfully. He wished he had never come up with the idea in the first place. He felt so stupid.

He thought how stupid he was to ever think that it would ever work to get those bullies to scare me a bit.

"Of course they would actually hurt him!"

He started to sob uncontrollably.

"I was such a fucking fool!"

The plan was such a simple one, how could it ever have gone wrong? All that he wanted to happen was: some ruffians scare Damien, John comes to the rescue, Damien is gratified and they run off together to share the passion of the moment. But he should have known that life isn't a movie and things never goes as planned.

John hit his head in anger and turned away from the house, furious at himself for being so stupid. It was his fault I was in pain, all his fault that I had to go to hospital. He was the cause for not only the one he loves being in pain, but also his mother as well.

"I'm so sorry, Damien. You won't hear or see me again. I caused too much pain..."

He made his leave through the side entrance.

The darkness was solid and absolute. It pressed onto me oppressively, crushing my tiny body, eating my very soul. I hugged my frail knees, closing my tearful eyes to the shadows. I was scared and wanted that moment to stop. I hated hearing my parents fight, especially when their fight was about me.

"Don't tell me what to do! I can't... I just can't, Sheryl!" My father said in a loud voice.

My father was screaming hysterically in the next room. I felt my heart flutter painfully in my throat. I tried not to listen, but the words were strangely crisp and clear, slicing through the darkness like a sharp knife. It was impossible to ignore these words.

"Please... Richard... just come to bed... You don't know what you are saying." My mother said in a calm voice, trying to calm him down. "And speak in a lower voice, please. He could hear you."

"I know what I'm saying. I don't want to be seen anywhere near that freak!" He yelled even louder than before.

My heart shattered into a million pieces. I tasted salt and realized dimly that I was crying. My father had just confirmed my fears. I had sensed that my father was becoming more and more hostile against me, now I knew why. My father thought I was abnormal and he hated me.

"I'm a freak... "

My shoulders shuddering violently, as the full weight of the situation came crashing down onto me. I clutched at my face, trying to stop the flow of tears and the pain in my chest without any success.

"I'm a freak because I can't talk! My daddy hates me because I can't talk!"

I collapsed onto the floor in extreme agony as sorrow strangled me. I placed my hands in front of my face and pleaded life itself. I just wanted to be normal. I wanted my father to love me and I wanted him to be proud of me. I didn't want him to be ashamed of me or to hate me for things I couldn't fix. It wasn't my fault that I was born like that, I never did anything to deserve that life.

"Please fix my voice! Please, I want to be normal, then Daddy won't be mad at me anymore, and I'll be happy!"

Panting slightly, I tried to calm myself down enough to lie back down. I had woken with a start, crying and clutching at my sheets in terror. The dream had unsettled me thoroughly, almost dragging me into insanity. I shuddered at the thought. It has been such a long time since the last time I made that exact same dream.

I took several deep breaths and lay back down on my back, staring at the ceiling in thought.

"Why did I dream about that? That's in the past. I don't need to think about it anymore."

I cleared my mind, my thoughts went on John and I was saddened once again. Why? Was all I could ask. I didn't understand what happened today and why he acted so strangely.

"Why did he try to take advantage of me? Why did he leave me?"

I sniffed loudly, trying to stop myself crying over it. I was sick of feeling confused and sad. I decided resolutely that tomorrow I would hunt him down and find out what his problem was, and if he really did love me as much as he said he did. I was done suffering. I wanted to know the truth, no matter what it was. With that thought firm in my mind, I drifted off to sleep. I hoped that I would get an explanation tomorrow and maybe an apology too. That would be nice. I just hoped that he loved me enough.

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