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It was dark when the two of us finally stopped, having gone through all of Math, most of Biology and some of Chemistry. The time went by without any mishaps, except when John got a paper cut. He put his finger straight to his lips and sucked the blood. I flushed and got an erection. In my hurry to hide it, I slammed my head on the desk and gave myself a nosebleed.

Standing up and stretching, John glanced out the windows.

"I forgot daylight savings had finished. Look how dark it is! I'll have to walk you home."

I blushed and got up, wincing as my legs woke up with pins and needles.

"Really, does he have to? I'm not some defenseless girl! "

I wrote on my personal organizer.

"Really, there's no point... It's only down the road."

"And what sort of friend would I be? Sending you home by yourself this late at night... What if someone kidnaps you? Or mugs you? Or worse...? No. I won't have it."

John argued passionately.

"What's wrong?"

I had gone bright red. I shook my head. I was thinking.

"He said it! He said he was my friend!"

As the powerful urge to dance around the room came to me, I restrained myself by putting on a sullen face and standing stock-still with my arms held stiffly by my side.

John roared with laughter at my expression.

"What's up with you? You... look... so... funny!"

I blushed and smiled bashfully, clasping my hands in front of myself. John crossed the room and patted me on the shoulder.

"You're so funny. I don't know why you hide in the library at school. If you just hung out, you'd have loads of friends."

I was offended, yet I knew it was the truth. Part of the reason why I was such a loser was because I shut myself off towards others. I was so afraid of being judged and teased that I isolated myself. This made me lonely and because I was lonely all the time, that stopped me from making an effort to be popular. I knew that it was my own undoing.

My face must have showed offense, because John apologized.

"But you should try hanging out with me at lunchtimes. Now, are you ready?"

I nodded and allowed myself to be pushed out the door with John following. Curiosity took the best of me and I pulled out my personal organizer, making sure the light was on and wrote;

"Do you like me?"

"What makes you think that?" John asked with a sly grin. "You're so funny... It's adorable."

"You keep saying that... That I'm cute... Why?"

"Because you are."

He shivered and hugged himself.

"It's cold."

I scowled and quickened my pace. There he was trying to change the subject again!

"If he liked me that much, he'd just tell me. Why avoid it? Isn't it obvious that I'm gay? He can't be worried that I might be straight."

"Why do you think I'm cute? You only met me today."

I wrote boldly, still scowling as I roughly pushed my personal organizer into John's hands so he could get it across that I was getting pissed off.

"Correction: I only talked to you today. That doesn't mean I only noticed you today. I noticed you a long time ago. I only just got the courage to talk to you today."

Once more, John had said something that stumped me, but this time it wasn't by saying something annoying. Snatching the personal organizer back, I quickly scribbled a question.

"You only got the courage to talk to me?"

He smiled and nodded which made me frown.

"But I'm not scary... It isn't like I would turn you away..."

"I was afraid you would. The way you hid in the library, or at the back of the class... I was afraid that you wouldn't want anything to do with me." He explained, his smile looking sad.

We walked in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Only now did I really notice the sick hollow feeling of loneliness. I had never felt it this bad before, maybe because I told myself every day that I was pathetic and that no one would ever want to be my friend. I had ignored my demise until now.

I didn't bother telling John because I thought that he would just laugh at me. I glanced up at the boy that had been just as silent. The light evening breeze ruffled John's dirty-brown hair and the waking stars in the night sky reflected in his eyes, making them look like they were on fire. I couldn't think of anything more beautiful.

He looked at me and we locked eyes for a heartbeat. Blushing again, I quickly looked away, thanking the darkness for hiding my embarrassment. I surveyed the street instead, aware that John was still watching me and had moved closer to me. This made me worry. How could I be sure that I could really trust him? He was older than me, taller and physically stronger than me as well. He could easily overpower me and take advantage of the weak boy that I was... I wouldn't even be able to cry out for help.

For some reason, this idea appealed to me. My body tingled and grew hot all over. I had to close my eyes as another fantasy took hold. I tried to calm down, forcing myself to think of something else, but the image of John forcing himself upon me blazed in my mind's eye.

"He wouldn't take advantage of me. We were alone in his house for at least three hours. If he had those intentions, I would still be tied up naked on his bed, sweaty and gasping for breath... "

I thought as we turned down my street and the fantasy gripped me again as I pictured John looming over me with lustful eyes.

"Which one's your house?"

Shamed at the dirty fantasy that I had imagined, I pointed timidly at the small house down the way. He was smiling again and I felt warm and fuzzy as he looked up at my face.

"Will your parents be waiting up for you?"

"My mother is usually in bed by now. She'd leave out the spare key. Thank you for walking me home.

"No problem. I'll walk you to your door."

I really didn't see why he was making such a fuss about it all. I didn't argue, however, as the boy led me to my front door.

I tried to open the door and found it was unlocked. I turned and smiled at John in thanks. John smiled back at me in reply. As I made it to the front door, his hand caught my wrist like earlier that day. Gently he guided me around to face him at the same time, pulling me closer. My heart was thumping painfully fast in my throat as he inched closer and closer.

Finally our lips met. Surprised, I tried to pull away but John's arms wrapped around my body in a warm embrace. This calmed me and I closed my eyes, feeling everything; John's tongue exploring my mouth, his firm body pressed up against mine, his hand roaming my body. Then it was over as quick as it started.

"Have a good night."

He grinned and stroked my hair.

"You're a good kisser." He said winking.

I was confused again. I held onto John tightly, afraid that the teen would leave suddenly. I wanted to know why John was leading me on with his cheeky statements of how cute I was or how pretty I was, why he told me about wanting to be my friend, why he just kissed me...

"Does all this mean he loves me?"

I wanted to demand the answer to these questions, but I couldn't think of how I would write all this down. So instead I asked.

"Do you love me?"

His smile slipped of his face and he tried to be released from my grip. He was the one blushing now.

"What made you think that? I think you're cute and adorable... But love you? I'm not sure I can..."

He was backing away now, looking like a cornered animal. I watched him panic and try to remain cool like he always was. He laughed nervously and shook his head.

"See you at lunch!"

Late that night, as everyone slept soundly, I lay awake, a kind of insane feeling gripping me in its claws, making me thrash in bed. The day's events replayed in my mind from when John first talked to me to that hot steamy kiss just a few hours ago. Half aroused, half confused I clutched at my head.

"What did I do to deserve this? Why is he screwing with me like this? Why do I feel so..."

I wanted to scream and kick something hard. Instead I slowly put pressure on my tongue with my teeth so the dull pain cleansed my mind. I placed my hand on my half-hard cock but stopped myself before I went any further.

Angry with myself, I curled up and closed my eyes, ignoring the pain of my now aching erection.

I drifted off to an uneasy sleep, dreams filled with dead twins kissing each other, evil monsters raping me and one bright light smiling at my pain. I decided I wasn't going to hang out with John at lunchtime the next day.

  ♂+♂=♥  

Picture of Damien ~~>

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