Array
(
[text] =>

Kellin

"Deep breaths, babe. Deep breaths." Jenna soothes, fanning me as I look in the car mirror, completely freaked out. "You're going to be fine."

"But what if I trip? Or what if I fuck up my vows? What if Vic gets cold feet and runs off? What if I get cold feet?" I ramble.

"Kellin!" Jenna snaps.

I look to her and see her frowning concerned.

"Kellin," she says softly. "You're about to get married."

I let her words sink in and I feel horrible. I should be overjoyed, not freaking out. There's something wrong with me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"Don't be sorry. I just want you to be excited. Not upset. You're clearly in your head about this. Remember what you're here to do." she says softly.

I nod and wipe away the tear.

Jenna pulls out her phone and begins texting while I look out the window. I can't see much from here but I know my fiance, my very soon to be husband, is standing at the alter, waiting for me. He's in his suit, he's prepared his vows, now he's anticipating my arrival so we can get married.

I need to get my shit together. I need to be in this moment. This is a once in a lifetime event, I need to relax and savour every moment of it.

"How much time do you need?" Jenna asks me.

I take another deep breath.

"Ten minutes for my face to get un-puffy." I sigh looking in the mirror at my now-swollen eyes and red cheeks.

Jenna sends one last text assumingly to Tay, then she puts her phone down.

"You excited yet?" she asks, smiling softly at me.

I nod, a real genuine feeling of excitement shooting through me.

"I feel like I've wait so long." I breathe.

"You have. But trust me, you'll get up there, then you'll take one look at him and realize it was all worth it." she explains.

But I already know it was all worth it. Vic has always been worth it.

Once I'm sure my face is clear of any evidence of tears, I look to Jenna and she nods.

"Okay, I'll let them know they can start the music." Jenna beams, sending another text. "Time to get married."

She opens the car door so I take that as my cue to do the same then I follow her through the botanical gardens.

We link arms as we approach the aisle. The music gets louder as we walk, and soon we're turning the corner.

I'm immediately overstimulated as my eyes dart across the lawns that are covered with guests who are watching me.

I insisted on a small wedding, only inviting my siblings and friends from work. I decided it wasn't even worth inviting my alcoholic parents, they would have probably ruined everything.

Vic wanted to keep it small, but his mom seems to have insisted on inviting Vic's entire family. I don't mind though, because I guess they're all my family now. He has enough family for the both of us.

I look to the flower girls, who are dropping rose petals in front of Jenna and I as we make our way down the aisle.

My gaze turns to Mike and Tony, Vic's groomsmen. They're both grinning at me. I then look to Tay who is already ruining her eyeliner with tears, as she stands as, what we call, my "groomsmaid".

I take one last look around, noticing that nothing is out of place, everything is set up perfectly, our wedding is exactly how we wanted it.

Finally, my gaze lands on Vic, my very very very soon to be husband. I momentarily feel as though I can't breathe again. He looks so handsome in his black suit. The sun is shining down on his caramel skin, making him look angelic. His hands are folded in front of him and he stands straight and tall.

I finally lock eyes with him. He's staring back at me in awe, his mouth slightly agape in wonder as he watches me.

I bite my lip subconsciously, but a grin forces it's way onto my cheeks.

I don't think I've ever felt so happy.

The walk with Jenna down the aisle somehow feels like a fraction of a second and an eternity all at the same time. But soon enough, she's kissing my cheek and standing beside her wife as Vic takes my hands and I position myself in front of him.

"Hi." he whispers, grinning at me as the music cuts.

"Hi." I whisper back, with a little giggle.

"Are you ready to start?" the celebrant ask quietly.

Vic and I both nod, still staring at each other.

The celebrant starts the ceremony but his words sound distant. I feel like I'm in a bubble, just alone with Vic; like we're the only two people on the planet. The dreamy look in his eyes suggests that he isn't listening either. I almost can't believe we're doing this. We're getting married.

I tune back in just in time to hear the celebrant say, "You've prepared vows?".

"Can I go first?" Vic asks me softly, still grinning.

"Yeah, go." I giggle, excited to hear what he has to say.

He squeezes my hands and clears his throat.

"Kells, this past year with you has been so incredible I cannot possibly put it into sufficient words. My only regret is not telling you I loved you sooner." he admits.  "I was scared of the risk. To risk rejection, to risk losing you. But I promise that I will always take risks with you and for you because now that I have you, forever, I'm not afraid anymore. I promise to always love you, to always cherish you,"

I watch tears fill his eyes as he glances down at the floor.

"To always protect you." he continues before clearing his throat.

My heart aches because I sense the guilt in his words.

"I vow to be the man you need to be and the man you want me to be. I will always be here for you, and I will continue to be your best friend. I love you, Kellin." he concludes.

I quickly wipe a tear from my cheek, overwhelmed by his sweetness.

"That was beautiful." I whisper.

He just smiles softly at me and drops my hand so he can wipe another tear from my cheek.

I get lost in his touch for a second but then remember I'm supposed to be reciting my vows now. I clear my throat and take Vic's hand again.

"Vic, we have been through so much together. So much much heartache, so much trauma, so much tragedy. But what really stands out from the horrible times is our ability to lean on each other when things get hard. We always end up so much closer. But I know I haven't always leaned on you which resulted in our foundations cracking beneath us. So today, I promise to always let you support me, no matter how much I want to pull away. And I promise to continue supporting you when you need it." I take a breath as tears flood my eyes. I glance away from Vic and swallow a dry lump in my throat. "I become so broken when I'm without you, and somehow you always seem to put me back together."

I feel Vic drop my hand and cup my cheek, turning my face towards him. He gives me a tearful smile, as if to say 'it's okay'.

"You are such an extraordinary person and I can never possibly tell your enough how much I appreciate you and all that you do for me. So I stand here today, marrying you, to show you just how thankful I am. From this day forward, and perhaps every day before now, I give you myself in its entirety; you have my heart, my spirit, my love, my life. And I know I can trust you with it, and I'm so grateful for that. I love you."

I watch a wave of tears fall down Vic's cheeks and all I want to do is hug him but Mike is already stepping forward with the rings.

Vic quickly wipes his cheeks and clears his throat as he takes a ring from Mike.

His beautiful grin returns to his face as he lifts my hand.

"I, Vic Fuentes, give you, Kellin Quinn, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you." Vic recites as he slides the ring on my finger.

I then take Vic's hand and his ring.

"I, Kellin Quinn, give you, Vic Fuentes, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you" I repeat then slide the ring onto his finger.

"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married." the celebrant concludes. "You may now kiss the groom."

Vic wastes no time in grabbing my cheeks and pressing his lips to mine. I melt into his kiss, matching his passion and moving closer to him.

The kiss that seals our marriage soon ends and I'm left staring in wonder at my husband. My husband.

"Fuck I love you." he murmurs.

"I love you too." I whisper, then kiss him again.

I let the words and the kiss linger, giving them time to really conclude our ceremony and commence our marriage.

And soon I pull away from Vic and take his hand, more ready than ever to begin our forever.

[text_hash] => 979496b1
)