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"So we ready to go?" Vic chirps, slipping his keycard into his pocket.

"Just about." I smile as I finish tying my shoe.

I look back up at my boyfriend as he waits for me. I appreciate how cute he looks but something's a little off. I've done something wrong.

"Babe, take off your jacket." I tell him.

He looks confused but removes his denim jacket and places it on his bed.

I smile at his biceps that fit perfectly in the short sleeves of his button-up.

"Much better," I sigh, standing up and walking over to him. "I missed your arms."

I hug his waist and brush my cheek against his muscles.

"You're so cute." he mumbles, kissing my head as he wraps his arms back around me.

He clears his throat as if he's about to say something so I wait.

"Did, um, does Brandon like, work out and stuff?" he stammers out.

I'm once again confused as to why he brought Brandon up.

"He does. Not as much as you though." I answer.

Vic just nods silently then forces a smile.

"Ready to go?" he asks.

"Yep." I chirp.

I hold his bicep as we leave our dorm and head down to the recreation room where Brandon is hosting the party. I'm not quite sure why he's throwing a party, I failed to ask, and selfishly I don't really care.

"Um," Vic sighs. "I'm a little nervous. It would mean a lot to me if you just supported me a little tonight. Like you're free to go off and do your own thing, but if you would just check on me every now and again, I'd really appreciate that."

I swoon at his candor. It's things like this that I wish I could say. I wish I could ask him for support. I wish I could tell him I need him. I wish I could be open about my emotions. I'm lucky to have someone who's so honest with me.

"Of course, babe. I'm here for you." I assure him.

"I'm here for you too." he smiles.

As we approach the building's rec room, I take note of the large amount of people coming in and out of the entrance. I immediately become conscious of my scar.

I consider that this is a bad idea and that I should just go back to my dorm and cuddle with Vic for the rest of the night.

But I don't want to let Brandon down, not again, and I know that once I've had a few drinks–more like one–I'll forget all about my scar and just have a good time.

"It might be a little crowded, but I'm gonna keep you close until we find a space." I assure Vic, wrapping my arm around his waist so I don't lose him in the sea of people as we enter.

It's not overly crowded in the rec room though which I'm thankful for. There's definitely a lot of people surrounding a pool table, a beer pong table and the DJ but the party doesn't seem as crazy as I was anticipating. There's definitely clearer, quieter spots.

I locate a circle of sofas where a group of people seem to be conversing. They look friendly enough and there's an empty sofa over there, so I set my eyes on it and make my way over.

When we reach our destination, I make Vic aware of the sofa and we sit down together.

I take a second to look around at the party, now that I'm not smack bang in the middle of it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little out of place but it does feel good to be doing something different, and to be amongst people in a nice atmosphere.

I spot a table of drinks and immediately remember why I'm here.

"I'm going to go get a drink, babe. You want anything?" I ask Vic.

"Not right now, but thanks, Kells." he smiles.

I want to kiss him but I'm aware of the group setting so I rub his shoulder gently instead before I go to fetch myself a drink.

I find a fresh red solo cup and pick up an unlabelled bottle of clear liquid. I assume it's vodka but when I smell it to be sure, it doesn't smell like vodka. It's definitely some kind of alcohol though, so I fill my cup a fifth of the way with it. I take a sip and pleasantly find that it's not too bitter but it definitely needs a mixer. So I find grab the nearest bottle of soda which happens to be orange Fanta and fill the rest of my cup up with it.

I take a sip and lean against the table, looking around at my setting. I spot Brandon not too far away from me. He has yet to notice me, but I have a feeling he will soon so I gulp down my drink as fast as possible and immediately go about making another one.

"Kellin!" I hear him call as I'm twisting the lid back onto the Fanta.

I take a deep breath to prepare myself for this interaction before turning around.

Brandon stops in front of me, grinning from ear to ear, his arm wrapped around the waist of a cute Asian guy. He's shorter than me with thick rimmed glasses, and he's sporting a lovely smile.

"Oh hey." I smile forcefully.

"I'm so glad you could make it." he near cheers. I can tell he's quite drunk. Somehow he gets even more obnoxious when he's been drinking. I guess that's why people like him though. He's the life of the party.

"Yeah me too." I nod.

"I want you to meet Daniel! He's my boyfriend." Brandon chirps.

Daniel laughs and looks puzzled for a minute.

"Dennis, babe. My name is Dennis. You must be drunk." he chuckles awkwardly.

I feel a little awkward for him. Did Brandon really just get his boyfriend's name wrong?

"Right! I knew that! Daniel is my ex. I'm sorry." Brandon snorts, but he hardly seems apologetic at all.

I'm confused as to who Daniel is. I don't remember Brandon telling me about an ex named Daniel.

"Anyway, this is Dennis. He's cute, right?" Brandon grins.

"Yeah, I guess so." I answer feeling a little uncomfortable. "I'm glad that you're happy."

"Oh, I'm so happy, Kellin! You have no idea." he practically shouts.

I'm confused by his words. It's like he's trying to prove something to me. Perhaps he's being passive aggressive.

"Well that's great, B. I really mean that." I smile sadly, the nickname just slipping out.

His grin falters for a split second, so fast that I wonder if I just imagined it.

"I'll see you around." he then chirps, and whisks Dennis away.

Suddenly someone has hooked their arm around mine and is pulling me along with them.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," the stranger sings in what I can only describe as a very gay voice. Or at least the stereotypical kind.

I'm confused but I'm starting to feel a little buzz so I go along with it.

He drags me over to a group of four guys who are grinning at me, as though they were expecting me.

"Ladies, this is the Kellin." the guy who was dragging me says as we stop amongst these people.

"No fucking way." a skinny guy with a mohawk and deep voice says.

"Uh, who are you?" I ask the man who is still holding my arm. "And who are these guys?" I question eyeing the four guys in the circle. They're all very different. Not the kind of people you'd expect to be in a group together.

There's Mohawk Guy who looks a little punk, there's an athletic looking guy, a dude who looks a little goth, a geeky boy and then there's the very flamboyantly gay guy next to me.

"Holy shit, Daniel, did you just kidnap him?" the athlete snorts.

Wait, is this the Daniel?

"A little. But I had to get him over here." the guy holding onto me giggles.

He finally lets go of my arm and turns to me.

"Okay, so, I'm Daniel, this is TJ," he points to Mohawk Guy who gives me a nod. "This is Bailey," he points to the nerd. "This is Seb," he points to the athlete. "And this is Miles," he points to the goth guy.

He then claps his hand together.

"And collectively, we are Brandon's exes." Daniel beams.

I'm immediately blown away by being amongst so many men who like men. And they're all so different, which kind of impresses me. I knew that queer people come from all walks of life, but to see it so blatantly demonstrated in front of me is kind of astonishing.

Once I'm over that initial shock, I get to the matter at hand.

"What do you mean by "Brandon's exes"?" I ask confused.

"Well, I was Brandon's flavor of the week last week. And TJ was Brandon's flavor of the week the week before. And Seb was the week before that and so on." Daniel rants.

I'm so confused. How does Brandon have so many exes in such a short amount of time?

"Wait, so you're all his exes and you all dated him for a week?" I question puzzled.

"Well I dated him for three days, but yeah, basically." TJ explains.

"You see," Seb begins. "Brandon has a pattern of getting to know people then becoming exclusive with them and then breaking up with them."

I get a sinking feeling. That's not like Brandon at all. Could this be my doing?

"Why though?" I frown.

"Thought you could answer that." Seb shrugs. "You lasted the longest."

I take a gulp of my drink as I wrack my brain for answers.

"It's not like Brandon to sleep around." I state. I mean, he was a virgin just a few months ago.

"Oh, he's not, Honey." Daniel says. "He fucked none of us."

I feel a little uncomfortable at the vulgarity of his words.

"Not for lack of trying." TJ mutters.

"We'll get you laid tonight, Buddy. Don't you worry." Miles snorts, bumping TJ's shoulder.

Okay, this might almost definitely be my fault.

"Dennis will be replaced by the end of the night. I'll put money on that." Seb says.

"Dude, I don't get it," Miles begins. "Why does he make such a point of making everyone his boyfriend if he's just going to break up with them? When he asked me to be his boyfriend after a week of knowing him, I knew it was way to soon but I thought 'hey, maybe this guy really likes me'. Apparently not."

He's looking at me like I have the answers but I don't.

This undoubtedly is my fault. The way he's behaving is in response to me hurting him, and I feel sick to my stomach because of it.

I tip the rest of my drink down my throat and decide I need another one, pronto.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm going to get another drink." I announce awkwardly.

"Wait," TJ says. "That's your roommate, right?"

He points to Vic who's still sitting where I left him, although he's now talking to a guy sitting across from him.

"Yeah, why?" I ask confused.

"He's fucking hot, dude. Do you think you could set me up with him?" he asks hopefully.

I don't know how to respond but I can feel jealously pooling in my stomach.

I just huff and turn away from him, heading back to the drinks table.

What a douchebag. Vic's not a piece of meat. And he's not stupid or sleazy enough to give his virginity to a loser like fucking TJ. What does TJ stand for anyway? Total Jerk-off?

I pour myself more of this mysterious clear liquid, this time upping my alcohol-to-soda ratio now that a few drinks have numbed my taste buds.

I stand at the table fuming as I gulp down my drink, and immediately pour another, and another, and another, until I forget what I was mad about.

I start to miss my boyfriend, like really miss my boyfriend, so I push through the crowd, drink in hand and find him where I left him.

He's in the middle of a conversation, but I don't care.

"Is this seat taken?" I ask, announcing myself.

I don't wait for an answer as I sit down on Vic's lap. He chuckles and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Hey, you were gone forever." he murmurs into my hair.

I then remember our conversation from earlier.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, baby." I pout, feeling so guilty.

"It's okay, you're here now." he smiles.

I smile back at him and press my lips to his.

He chuckles again as he pulls away, then he falls back into his conversion with this guy in front of me.

I start to feel jealously creeping back and I desperately want my boyfriend's attention, so I start gently kissing his neck.

His grip tightens around me but he still isn't focusing on me so I bite his earlobe.

He gasps and chuckles as he pushes me back.

"What are you doing?" he grins.

"You aren't talking to me." I whine.

"You poor thing." he snorts.

He brings his hand up to my cheek and slides his fingers along it until he finds my lips. He then leans forward and kisses me.

I kiss him back eagerly, suddenly wishing we had said "fuck the party" and just made out all night in our dorm. Maybe it's not too late for that.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" the angry voice of Brandon exclaims.

I pull away from Vic confused and look to Brandon who is standing at the end of the sofa glaring at me. Oh god, what did I do now?

"What?" I say annoyed that he just interrupted my kiss.

"What? What do you mean 'what'? A few weeks ago it was 'I'm not interested in a relationship' and here you are making out with your roommate! Stop fucking lying to me, Kellin! You're a real piece of work, you know that?" he shouts.

He's yelling so loud that the DJ has stopped playing music and I can feel everyone's eyes on me.

I open my mouth, wanting to say something but nothing will come out.

"So now you have nothing to say? You've finally run out of excuses?" he hisses.

Humiliation is seeping through the effects of the alcohol and I'd rather be anywhere else but here. And I still don't know what to say.

Brandon then looks to Vic.

"I wouldn't even bother if I were you, Vic. He just fucks you then leaves." Brandon snaps then he storms away.

I look around and people are still just staring at me. I turn to Vic, unsure of what to do.

"I think he's mad at me." I whisper, feeling myself trembling a little in his arms.

"Why don't we get out of here, okay?" he suggests softly.

I nod and climb off his lap. I take his hand and head to the exit. People just move out of our way but they're still gawking at me. I pull my hair down to shield my scar, but pretty soon Vic and I are out in the relatively bare hallway.

"Are you okay?" Vic asks softly, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"I guess." I mumble as I lead us down the hall towards our dorm.

"He had no right to talk to you like that." Vic says reassuringly.

I just nod, forgetting that Vic can't see me.

I'm sure if I were sober right now I'd be on the brink of a melt down, heck, I'd probably already be a mess on the floor. Thank god for liquor, am I right?

We get to the dorm and I pull out my keycard before slipping it in.

"Hey," Vic says softly, placing his hand on my mostly exposed shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I can see that he's worried which is sweet.

"I am." I assure him. "I'm just bummed our night is ruined."

"It doesn't have to be." he says.

"You're right." I chirp turning back to the door and opening it.

I switch on the light as we enter and toss the card on my bed as Vic shuts the door.

"Well, what do you want to do?" he asks me.

I turn to him and grin as I'm reminded of how attractive he is. I know what I want to do but I don't want to straight out say it.

I look him up and down, noticing that he put the bottom button of his shirt in the wrong hole, causing his shirt to look a little lopsided. This in turn gives me an idea.

"Oh, babe, you missed a button on your shirt." I tell him, walking over to him.

"Really?" he sighs. "I must have looked like an idiot all night."

"Not at all. You looked really hot actually." I chirp. "Don't worry though, I'll fix it."

I start from the top of his shirt and begin undoing each of the buttons.

"How many did I miss?" he chuckles confused.

"Like so many." I lie as I finally get to the end of his shirt, but I don't want to stop there.

I watch his face closely as I then pop the button on his jeans.

"Oh Kell, that's not my shirt." he says clueless.

I shush him softly as I pull down the zipper then slip my hand into his pants and beneath his underwear.

He flinches and gasps as I grip his length.

"O-oh." he stammers out.

I just grin and rub him gently, adoring the look of pleasure on his face. I can feel him hardening in my fist and it's unbelievably hot.

"You like that?" I ask him softly.

He clears his throat and nods.

"Yeah." he whispers simply.

I know I can do better though.

I press my lips to his and kiss him. I can feel his shaky breaths from his nose as he kisses back.

"Wait," he says, pulling away and grabbing my wrist. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Only two." I lie knowing that Vic's way too sweet and responsible to let this continue if he knew how much I've actually had to drink.

"Are you sure?" he asks to clarify.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I smile, kissing him again.

He loosens his grip on my wrist so I continue stroking him slowly.

Bless this alcohol. Lord knows I wouldn't be doing this without it.

I lean down and kiss his neck, nibbling on it a little, causing him to grunt quietly.

Deciding I've had enough of teasing him, I stop touching him and take his hand.

"Come here," I murmur, pulling him towards his bed.

I stop in front of it and tug Vic's jeans down to his knees. I notice he's blushing furiously which is so damn cute.

"Sit." I instruct.

He feels behind him for the mattress then he sits down. I take the hem of his boxer-briefs and he helps me pull them down, exposing his hard dick.

I kiss him once again then I get down on my knees in front of him and begin stroking him again.

I look up and him and admire the way his mouth hangs slightly open with pleasure.

It's been a while since I've seen a guy in this state of elation, since I've touched a guy, since I've even seen a guy undressed. And this might be the alcohol talking, but it just feels right.

I stop stroking him and instead press my lips to his tip, kissing the sensitive area delicately.

"O-oh." Vic chokes out again.

He's so cute. Like a little puppy. I can't believe no one's ever touched him like this before. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be the first.

I wrap my lips around his head and suck on it gently. I feel Vic's hand start brushing through my hair which is sweet. I remove his tip from my mouth and lick a line from the base of his shaft back to the tip, then I finally stop teasing him and take his length into my mouth.

I start off slow gliding my lips down his shaft and back up again, taking more and more of him into my mouth each time I go down. Then I gradually increase speed, aiming to stimulate him as best I can.

"Kells, that's um," he clears his throat. "really good. It feels really good."

I look up at him, wanting to see his handsome face but I notice that a good portion of it is covered by his sunglasses. I usually don't notice them anymore because the only time he doesn't wear them is when he's asleep, but right now they're bothering me.

I take him out of my mouth and stand up again, grabbing his face between my palms. I kiss him gently then move my hands to the frames of his glasses.

"Can I take these off?" I ask him softly.

He looks unsure and doesn't answer.

"Please." I push.

I don't want to make him uncomfortable but I want to see his face and I feel like the only way he's going to get used to not wearing his glasses around me is if I let him know that's it's okay to do so.

"Okay." he whispers.

I slide off his glasses, revealing his face in its entirety. He still has his eyes closed  but I'm okay with that. One thing at a time.

I fold his glasses up and place them down on his nightstand before kissing his lips again. I place a gentle kiss on each of his eyelids before finally recommencing my position on the floor.

"You're so beautiful." I murmur as I kiss his upper thigh, and then I continue sucking him off.

Unsurprisingly, he doesn't take an awfully long time to finish, but when he does I swear it is the most fucking attractive thing I've ever witnessed.

He falls back onto the bed, trying to catch his breath and I stay on the floor trying to catch mine.

Eventually he sits up and pulls his pants back up. He's still blushing furiously which is just adorable.

"Did you like that?" I chirp, coyly biting my lip.

He chuckles and covers his face with his hands.

"You have no idea." he breathes.

"Think I have somewhat of an idea." I laugh, wiping my mouth with back of my hand.

I push myself from the floor and take Vic's face between my palms again before kissing him. He doesn't seem to care that his dick was just in my mouth as he kisses back.

"Lay down, I want to cuddle." I demand, feeling the need to be close to him.

Vic kicks his shoes off, not even bothering to line them up neatly before he lays down on his pillows. I take my shoes off then slide in next to, facing him so I can see his handsome face. I pull the duvet over us and Vic's hands slide across my waist.

"I really like you." I sigh dreamily, looking at him in awe.

"You're just full of surprises tonight." Vic chuckles then kisses my lips softly. "I really like you too."

"Mm." I hum.

I glide my fingers over his warm, bare chest then brush my cheek against it.

"I love your body." I whine, softly, closing my eyes as I lean into him.

"You are so cute. You know that?" Vic coos.

"I try." I giggle.

We're silent after that and I begin slipping into sleep until Vic speaks again.

"Kells, what happened between you and Brandon? He seemed pretty upset." Vic asks me.

The question makes me squirm. I can't tell Vic because then not only would he see me differently, but I'd have to tell him everything and I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that. He has to find out eventually, but today is not that day.

"I don't want to talk about it." I whisper.

"Okay, that's fine." Vic murmurs, then kisses my forehead. "No matter what happened between you two, he still shouldn't have spoken to you like that, especially not in front of everyone. I would never do that to you."

"He was just drunk and sad. I probably deserved it honestly." I shrug.

"No," Vic frowns. "Stop punishing yourself, Kells. You're not a horrible person."

My eyes fill with tears and I shake my head.

"How do you know?" I sniff.

Fuck this alcohol for making me emotional.

"Because I know you."

"No," I shake my head again. "You don't know me."

Vic pauses after that. I wonder if I've hurt him. Of course I have. It's inevitable. I'm an asshole.

"There's a lot you don't know about me too. We're still getting to know each other, it's okay. I know that you're a little slower at opening up than me, and that's okay too. You have my undying patience." he explains.

I smile a little at that. I'm so lucky. So goddamn lucky. I make sure to thank him with a kiss.

"But I do know that you're not a bad person. I just know." he whispers.

I kiss him for a final time then nuzzle my my face into his chest.

I don't think I'm a good person but I know that Vic makes me want to be better.

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