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"So where to now?" Vic asks as we leave the art museum.

He's now pulled out his cane and is using it which makes me smile. I check the time and see its only 4:30pm. Much too early to go back to the hotel and call it a night.

"The Washington Monument is only a twenty minute walk away. I wouldn't mind checking it out." I admit. "But if you're not interested..."

"Sure! Let's go. This is your trip. Besides, as long as you're enjoying yourself, I'm happy." he says sweetly.

I thank him softly and quickly get the directions up on my phone. Vic takes my hand again as we start waking. I assume it's so I can lead the way but secretly I'm hoping he just wants to hold my hand.

The walk is nice. Vic asks me more about myself, my favourite food, my favourite song, really easy, sweet questions. And I love it. I love feeling like I don't have to lie. Because I really hate lying to him.

As we approach the historical site, I notice the crowd of people surrounding it. I decide I'm not interested in that so I stop walking.

"We're here?" Vic asks.

"Yeah, it's over there. Let's just sit here on the grass. I can see it just fine." I suggest, taking a seat on the grass.

Vic folds up his cane then squats down before falling back onto the grass. He lays down and let's the sun light up his handsome features.

He takes my hand again which makes me smile. So he does want to hold my hand.

I move closer to him and brush my other hand through his shimmering hair, just admiring him. God, I can't take my eyes off him.

"Is it everything you thought it would be?" Vic asks.

It takes me a second to realize he's talking about the Washington Monument. I glance at it but quickly turn my attention back to Vic. I honestly couldn't give a single shit about the building right now.

So I decide to mess around with Vic a little.

"It's even better." I murmur, referring to the guy next to me, rather than the historical building I came here to see.

I bring my hand down to his cheek and brush my fingers along his smooth skin.

"Describe it." he murmurs.

"Beautiful," I breathe. "Like completely stunning. Literally breathtaking. And so sweet. And funny. So infatuating."

I feel his cheek warm under my palm as blush floods his face.

"I have a feeling you're not talking about the Washington Monument." Vic grins.

"Oh that old thing?" I giggle which makes Vic chuckle.

He reaches for my face so I push my cheek into his palm. He let's out a content little sigh and moves his thumb along my scar. I don't flinch and I don't pull away. I just let him feel it.

"Why aren't you my boyfriend yet?" he murmurs softly.

A huge part of me is in awe at the question, but there's still that other part of me that is terrified at the thought. I push it aside though, because I'll be damned if I let it ruin this for me.

"Because you haven't asked me to be yet." I mumble, pushing my fingers through his hair again.

"Why do I have to be the one to ask?" Vic points out with a chuckle.

"That's a fair point." I admit after a few seconds of thought.

I've never even considered asking Vic to be my boyfriend. I assumed that if it were ever to happen, he'd ask. But there's no reason why it shouldn't be me.

"Well, will you be my boyfriend?" I ask, blushing nervously.

"Wait, seriously?" Vic questions, slowly sitting up.

His confusion sparks anxiety within me. Was this not what he wanted?

"Yeah, like I, I mean," I pause, unsure of what to say.

"No, no, no, not like...yes, yes I will. But like, seriously?" he says seeming flustered.

"I'm confused." I giggle.

His hand that had fallen to my shoulder finds its way back to my cheek then he leans forward. And although I see it coming, I still feel completely caught off guard when he presses his lips to mine.

My worries melt into his lips and fade away as his kiss gives me the reassurance I need.

His knuckles run along my scar as he kisses me but his tender touch distracts me from the trauma of my past. I'm so stuck in him right now, connected to him, lost in him.

When he finally pulls away, he presses his forehead against mine. I'm close enough to him to see his long eyelashes through the darkness of his lenses. I really wish I could be staring into his entrancing eyes right now, but I know it would only be for my benefit and not his.

"Does that clear things up for you?" he whispers, his handsome smile returning.

"Definitely." I mumble before pecking his lips for good measure. "Why were you in such disbelief though?"

"Why wouldn't I be? No one has ever wanted to be my boyfriend before. Especially someone like you." he sighs.

"Someone like me?" I ask confused.

"You know, someone so wonderful." he grins, running his fingertips along my jaw.

He finds my chin and tilts my head forward so he can kiss me again.

"I think you're wonderful." I say softly.

He just smiles at me and drops his hand from cheek before he lies back on the grass.

"Boyfriend." he sighs dreamily, seemingly to himself.

Without him touching me, distracting me, the word 'boyfriend' almost feels like a punch to the gut. I feel winded by it, nauseated, dizzy.

I take a breath and look back at Vic, trying to shake these feelings away.

It's fine. I'm fine. This is a good thing. I have a boyfriend. This is okay.

Despite my reassurances, I still feel a little suffocated in the moment so I go to plan B.

I pull out my phone and inconspicuously snap a picture of Vic. I pull up Sam and I's texts and quickly send the pic to her.

K: meet Vic!

I fear that she's busy and won't see my message but she reads it almost immediately and sends back a response.

S: I have met Vic??

I chew on my lip nervously as I type out a reply.

K: you met Vic, my roommate. This is Vic, my boyfriend.

I hit send and stare at the dots that appear on my screen, indicating that she's typing.

Soon enough, my phone vibrates in my hands, signaling a response.

S: OH MY GOD. KELLIN.

S: HOLY SHIT.

S: I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

S: AND PROUD OF YOU.

Her response is exactly what I needed. I needed reassurance that this is a positive situation. That my response should be nothing but happiness. That I shouldn't feel sick or uncomfortable. I should feel ecstatic.

The little dots reappear on the screen but they're there for longer this time. I soon receive a longer message, this time in lowercase.

S: seriously Kells, I hope this is what you need. I hope he makes you happy. Because you deserve it. You have worked so hard picking yourself back up after Brandon, I really want this to work out for you. Be better this time. And if it doesn't work out, I'm still going to be here for you, by your side as always. I love you, my baby brother. Have a fantastic trip with your BOYFRIEND and come home safe xx

I want to cry, because I'm grateful, because I'm relieved, because I'm scared, and because I'm hopeful. But I push all those tears back and take a deep breath.

K: thank you Sammie. You always know what to say. I love you too xx

After that, I put my phone away and turn back to my boyfriend, who is just enjoying the sun which should start setting soon. I pay no attention to the saboteur in the back of my mind and instead lie down next to Vic. I drape an arm over his stomach and he smiles turning to me. He places a kiss on my eyebrow, missing my forehead completely, but I don't mind.

I allow myself to get lost in his company and in his warmth. And I become so entranced in him that I forget to hate myself. I think Sam's right. I think this is exactly what I need.

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