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Dedication: Lxshton_Rxcky

This is the last chapter. The next one is the epilogue and it's done. Am I crying? Hell fucking yes I am! I'm sobbing! The song in the media section inspired the hell out of this chapter and I'm just really emo right now.

This chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster of Ashton's thoughts. It may not always make sense but this is what he's thinking. You could say it's kind of an epiphany but like a gradual epiphany? I don't even know.

Anyways, thanks so damn much for every read/comment/vote since I started this last year September! It means the world to me!

Don't forget to point out any errors you notice.

Leave a comment and/or vote if you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again guys. The epilogue chapter will be uploaded at the end of the week. :) - Vanessa

***

Previously:

Ashton stood up shakily, his eyes filled with tears he was trying to contain. He wiped his hand on a napkin before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out some notes and threw them on the table, not even caring how much he was paying for the pizza.

Luke was looking up at him, pleading, but Ashton just shook his head. He needed time to think and he couldn't do that with Luke. He wouldn't do anything stupid like steal Louis' car and try drive away either, but he needed alone time.

"Don't follow me, Luke," Ashton said before turning around and leaving Luke sitting there with a broken and guilty expression.

***

Ashton didn't go too far. With every step he took away from Luke, the painful tug at his heart increased. It was like the two were hooked, their hearts attached and as they moved apart, the hook dug in deeper reminding each other of how much they loved each other and how wrong and wounding it was when they weren't together.

He was made for Luke and Luke was made for him but it was times like these he doubted it. If they were meant for each other, wouldn't it be easy? Wouldn't their relationship be as comfortable as breathing, as reviving and sustaining as filling your lungs with the air it needed?

Because it hurt, it hurt so bad and Luke's pain through the bond only made it worse. It was a restlessness that settled over him and made him unable to think. He didn't know what he expected when it came to officially completing the soulmate bond, but it wasn't this. Luke wasn't here but if felt as though he was. He didn't need to focus on his emotions, they washed over him like they were his own.

He felt connected to Luke like he never had before, and although it was something he'd wanted for so long he almost resented it now. He hated feeling how much Luke was loathing himself because no matter how angry he was at him, he never wanted Luke to hate himself. Everything about him was too beautiful to hate, even the parts that weren't perfect made him that much more beautiful.

Ashton sat at a bench in the park, breathing in deeply. His chest felt tight and uncomfortable, making him unable to sit still. He looked around the park and couldn't help but smile despite the circumstances.

The grass was so vibrant, the small tamed blades of green swaying softly in the breeze. He saw children, their faces elated as they ran through the park, screeching as they did with smiles that seemed too wide.

The thing that caught Ashton's attention the most, however, was the blue of the small lake. It wasn't dark, but more light as the sun reflected on it, danced across the ripples the wind created. It reminded him of Luke, of his eyes that seemed all Ashton could think of.

He hadn't expected it, hadn't expected that when he saw Luke he would be the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid his eyes on. Because everything is beautiful when you're given the chance to see after nine years. Even the most terrible things in the world. It's beautiful because it can be seen. It might not make sense to anyone else who has seen their entire lives, but to Ashton it makes perfect sense.

But Luke, Luke is the complete opposite of terrible.

And describing Luke is every cliché he's ever read. He's an angel, not in every sense of the word, he's not perfect but he is beautiful. He's beautiful because no matter how much it hurts Ashton; Luke is still the greatest thing in the world to ever happen to him. He's beautiful because without him, Ashton wouldn't be here, would have given up long ago. He's beautiful because he's Luke and there is no one else that was made for him like Luke was.

Ashton has barely seen Luke, not as much as he'd like. He'd like to sit for hours on end studying every part of his face because he doesn't know what Luke looks like when he laughs, because Ashton's memorised everything about the sound, but he'd love to see the way he looks too.

He wants to see the hint of his dimple as he talks and the way his plump lips move as he does so, his lip ring accentuating everything about it, making the way he talks almost erotic without him having to do a thing at all.

He wants to see the way Luke's eyebrows move as he talks, depending on his expression. He hasn't seen all his expressions though; he knows what each one sounds like but he wants to see it too.

Ashton almost feels choked with it. He promised himself the entire time he was with Luke, even the times he wasn't with him, that when he finally saw him he'd never stop looking and he has, has barely looked at all.

If there's anything Ashton knows about the world, it's that it's cruel and unforgiving. It's harsh and waits for no one. But the universe has made it up to them, it has offered them their entire world in the form of a person that they can connect to. A person that they can be whole with.

Was Ashton being selfish? Luke didn't cheat on him, he promised he wouldn't and he never did. He hurt Ashton though, he went out of his way to do that. He put them through hell for his own self-regarding reasons and it hurt.

Ashton has wanted to be strong his entire life. Is he being strong for walking away or weak for giving up on them? It's confusing, so entirely so that Ashton's head feels as though it's swimming with it. Because he still doesn't trust Luke. He doesn't trust that when things get hard, Luke wont hurt him again.

He can't even stand the thought of being naked in front of Luke without wanting to cry. Because he doesn't trust him. He doesn't trust Luke not to hurt him anymore.

How are they supposed to work at all if he can't trust the man he's with?

But Ashton is weak, he's established that countless times. He wants to be strong but he can't be because he needs Luke so much he can't breathe. His relationship with Luke isn't easy but all the good things in life never are.

Ashton could've decided not to get his eyesight back. It would've been easier without the emotional stress of not knowing if it would work out. It's been so much work afterwards but the end result has been so worth it.

Being with Luke wont be easy. It never has and it may never be but he needs to try. He needs to try one last time because he'll always wonder 'what if' if he never takes that final plunge.

So if that makes Ashton weak for going back, then maybe he's okay with being weak. He's okay if he has Luke to make him strong.

Ashton got up on shaky legs, swallowing loudly and blinking away the tears. He'd been in the park for longer than he realised and he hoped Luke would be in his dorm. He needed to talk to him, they needed to figure things out because Ashton always ran before they could. Maybe that was their problem; they could never solve their problems because Ashton wasn't around to do so.

Ashton looked at the pale cloudless blue sky and took another breath. Luke wasn't the only person who made mistakes, he did too and it was about time he started owning up to his own. He couldn't run away anymore. No good ever came from running away. How long would it take for him to learn that?

And so Ashton ran. He ran but for the first time in his life he was running towards something instead of away from it. He was running towards the person he loved wholeheartedly. He was running towards the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life getting to know because he hardly knew him. Not really and he wanted to more than anything.

Maybe it wouldn't work out in the end. Maybe the universe was wrong and they weren't meant to be but he'd be damned if he didn't try. So he ran, his feet slamming painfully against the sidewalk, weaving through the people as he did.

He was panting, felt like he could barely breathe with the strain of running. In no time his hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, his shirt clinging to him uncomfortably with the way the sun hung brightly in the sky, beating him, maybe trying to slow him down but he wouldn't.

Everyone stared at Ashton as he ran, arriving back at the university but he didn't care what other people thought of him. It was crowded, forcing him to slow down as he made his way through the crowd.

His face was flushed with the heat as he tried not to shove people. Everyone was a blur of unrecognisable faces as he looked over them towards the dorm area. The moment he was in the clear he continued to run, happy the corridors were empty, everyone outside enjoying the sunny day.

Ashton skidded to a halt when he stopped in front of the dorm, glad he'd remembered where it was. He was panting heavily as he knocked, frowning when no one answered. He tried the door handle, opening the door tentatively as he stepped in side.

Ashton groaned when he saw the room empty. Each breath was painful as he tried to regulate his breathing. He hadn't even run that far but considering he hadn't done physical exercise in nine years he thought he had a good excuse.

Ashton closed the door behind him and flopped down onto Luke's bed. He inhaled deeply, feeling comfort in the familiar scent. He nuzzled into the duvet, frowning as he felt Luke's sadness. He was so incredibly sad that it hurt and it was Ashton's fault.

Because Luke may make mistakes, but Ashton's mistake is that he never gives Luke the chance to fix his. To change. How can he when Ashton's never around?

As Ashton's breathing slowly calmed down, he could feel his eyes slipping shut. He could barely fight it when sleep took over, welcoming the chance to not think.

***

Ashton could feel a soft pressure on his head, a gentle tug at his curls as fingers massaged through his hair. He could feel soft puffs of air across his face and the gentle radiant heat of a nearby body, the bed dipped slightly.

He felt another hand, the pads of fingers caressing his cheek, brushing his lips, his eyelids. All so gentle as though Ashton were made of glass and he felt so incredibly loved it hurt.

But Luke didn't. Luke didn't feel loved because he felt hurt and scared and Ashton wondered, all the times Luke was telling Ashton how much he loved him, showing him by trying to be a better person, what was Ashton doing? Did he forget to show Luke he loved him too?

Ashton's heart leapt in his chest as Luke began singing, his heart clenching at the sound of tears in Luke's voice. Luke sounded so broken. Did Ashton break him?

"All I want is nothing more

To hear you knocking at my door

'Cause if I could see your face once more

I could die a happy man I'm sure," Luke sang, his voice a raspy whisper. His voice was so heart-breaking Ashton had to will himself not to cry at the mere sound of it.

"When you said your last goodbye

I died a little bit inside

I lay in tears in bed all night

Alone without you by my side."

Luke paused, his voice overcome with emotion and Ashton could feel the tears building up behind his closed lids. Luke continued to run his fingers gently over Ashton's face as though memorising it, afraid he'd never see his face again.

Luke's breathing was uneven, probably with the strain of not crying and Ashton swore this had to be the worst feeling in the world, knowing someone was hurting so entirely because they were so afraid of losing you.

"But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me?

Take my body

Take my body

All I want is,

And all I need is

To find somebody.

I'll find somebody like you."

The bed shifted slightly as Luke moved closer to Ashton, his body pressing against Ashton's. Ashton felt Luke's lips press against his forehead, deep and so full of hurt and love. He felt how wet they were with tears as he pulled away.

"So you brought out the best of me,

A part of me I've never seen.

You took my soul and wiped it clean.

Our love was made for movie screens.

But if you loved me

Why'd you leave me?

Take my body,

Take my body.

All I want is,

And all I need is

To find somebody.

I'll find somebody."

Luke sounded like he almost couldn't continue, the way his voice was so low and choked but he knew Luke wanted to finish the song and Ashton would let him. He'd never heard this song before and it was the most beautifully heart-breaking song in the world because it fit them so well.

"If you loved me

Why'd you leave me?

Take my body,

Take my body.

All I want is,

And all I need is

To find somebody.

I'll find somebody like you."

Luke chocked out a sob as he finished and Ashton opened his eyes to see Luke so incredibly close. Luke's eyes were closed, his hand still on Ashton's face. Ashton stared at him, overwhelmed that anyone in the world could look the way he did.

Even as he cried, tears that left tracks down his face, his eyes red and his lips swollen as he bit into it, he looked beautiful. Luke sniffled, his nose scrunching up slightly, red on the tip from crying and Ashton's heart broke at the gorgeous yet paining sight.

Ashton didn't realise he was crying too until Luke's eyes opened in confusion, having felt Ashton's tears on the hand still caressing Ashton's face.

Ashton almost burst out crying, his heart clenching when Luke scrambled off the bed, turning around to wipe at his face, embarrassed and vulnerable.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to- I shouldn't have done that," Luke whispered, his back still to Ashton. Ashton swallowed as he stood up from the bed, walking tentatively towards Luke. Ashton didn't know what to do, usually Luke was the one comforting him and he realised how wrong that was of him.

Luke was always looking after him, but Luke needed it just as much as Ashton did.

Ashton wrapped his arms around Luke's waist from behind, resting his head between Luke's shoulder blades. He felt Luke tense as he nuzzled into Luke's back, breathing in and closing his eyes.

Luke relaxed after a moment, his hands coming over Ashton's as he regulated his breathing.

Ashton channelled all the love he felt for Luke, the love that physically hurt him sometimes because it felt like too much to fit into his heart, he channelled it all so that Luke would feel it. Because Luke deserved to be loved, deserved to feel loved like he'd made Ashton feel from the moment he'd lost his sight, maybe even before then.

Luke was there for Ashton when he didn't even know him. He was always there for Ashton.

"I'm sorry," Ashton breathed, making Luke freeze. Luke slowly turned around, disentangling himself from Ashton's arms to face him. Ashton felt cold without his touch, looking up at Luke. He met Luke's gaze and felt his heart hammer in his chest. He'd never get used to Luke's eyes.

"What are you sorry for?" Luke asked genuinely confused and it made Ashton feel so much worse. He felt like he wanted to cry himself but he was tired of being selfish.

"I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you every chance I had. I'm sorry for not showing it to you. I'm sorry I keep running away when you need me and when I need you too. I'm sorry that you always felt like you had to look after me and I'm sorry I never looked after you. I'm sorry for being so selfish and never allowing you the chance to fix your mistakes. I'm sorry I couldn't change like you did, how you always tried to be a better person for me.

I'm selfish and weak, a terrible person and I'm sorry for that. I want to try with you Luke. I want us to try be together again. I hope you'll have me back," Ashton whispered voice choked but he willed himself not to cry, biting his lip harshly.

"Dammit Ashton," Luke practically growled, stepping back and Ashton felt his heart sink to his chest. Through the bond, Ashton could feel how exasperated Luke felt.

"Don't blame yourself for this Ashton, please don't. I'm the one who took your trust, the trust you so rarely place in others, and I threw in your face to hurt you. I feel like shit about it and you blaming yourself just makes me hate myself even more. So just stop, okay?" Luke ranted, pacing around the room as Ashton watched, eyebrows furrowed.

"I know, Luke. I'm not blaming myself for that," Ashton said quietly, watching Luke as he stopped pacing to look at him. "I just wanted you to know that this isn't all on you, it's my fault too. You're not perfect Luke, but I sure as hell am not either. I'm so far from it but I'm trying to be a better person now and I- I think if we both gave it another go it'd be better this time.

We've both made mistakes but I think we could learn from them, make us better people and make our relationship stronger.

I need you to be patient with me. I'm trying but I- I may get jealous or doubt you, struggle in trusting completely and think I'm not good enough but I am trying. But I do promise I'll always be there for you the way you are for me, to hold you when you need it and make you feel so unbelievably loved. Because I do, I love you Luke," Ashton said, looking into Luke's eyes that made him never want to look away again.

He watched the way his gently arched brows raised from their frowning position, lips parting in what seemed to be surprise. His eyes lit up with hope, the feeling strong through the bond. He bit on his lip ring, his dimple making a small appearance and making Ashton's heart feel like it would explode at the sight.

His dark blonde hair was a mess on his head, adorably ruffled and Ashton just wanted to run his hand through it. The scruff on his jaw gave him an almost rugged look, insanely attractive. His eyes were still red from crying, however, slightly puffy with the pointy tip of his nose the same red colour.

Ashton could barely bring himself to look away. He felt like he hadn't let it sink in, hadn't fully appreciated the fact that this was really Luke and he was seeing him like he'd always dreamed of doing.

Not for the first time he felt selfish, selfish for not appreciating Luke when he'd first seen him this morning because he was so consumed in his own thoughts and with himself he once again forgot everyone else.

"I love you, Ashton and I- I'm sorry. Again. I want us to work this out, more than anything in the world so I promise to be patient with you when you need it, even when you don't. I'll work on myself, my emotions and making myself the best damn person in the world for you, Ash because you deserve it. I promise to try," Luke breathed, stepping closer with every word he spoke, Ashton having to tilt his head up to look at Luke as he approached.

Ashton let out a weak chuckled, Luke looking at him questioningly. "We sound like we just said our wedding vows," Ashton laughed, making Luke smile fondly.

Luke leaned down, his breath making Ashton shiver visibly. Luke smirked in response and Ashton's heart leapt at the sight. Luke ran his nose and lips along Ashton's jaw, his hands gripping onto Ashton's waist somewhat tightly. His teeth nipped at Ashton's jaw, making him moan lowly, much to his mortification.

Luke chuckled lowly, smirking as he pulled away to look Ashton in the eyes. He ran his thumb across Ashton's flushed cheeks, his smile turning fond at the sight.

"You're so beautiful, baby. And your eyes- God I can't stop looking at them," Luke breathed, making Ashton flush further, leaning into Luke's hand cupping his cheek.

"You're beautiful too, Lukey. More beautiful then I could've ever imagined," Ashton whispered, and to his surprise and delight, Luke blushed slightly, the sight barely visible but Ashton decided he wanted to see it as often as possible.

Luke's hand went to grip the back of Ashton's neck softly, his fingers carding through Ashton's short hair slightly curled at the back. Ashton watched as Luke slowly leaned forward, watching as his eyes fluttered closed, his lashes soft against his pale skin.

Ashton reluctantly closed his own eyes when Luke's lips pressed against his, not wanting to look away from him for a second. He sighed at the feeling, relishing in the way Luke's lips were firm yet soft against his own, his lip ring enticing the kiss to deepen.

Ashton shuddered when Luke licked over his bottom lip, coaxing Ashton's mouth open. Ashton didn't hesitate to let him in, feeling his legs go weak as Luke's arm around his waist held him up.

It scared Ashton how much Luke's simple touch could break down his walls, make him forget why he didn't trust Luke completely. Because when Luke was touching him like this, his fingers hot and searing on Ashton's skin under his shirt, it seemed all doubt vanished from his head. There was nothing else except the feeling of Luke's chapped lips against his own, his tongue hot, exploring and dominating Ashton's mouth.

Ashton gripped onto the front of Luke's shirt with both hands, as though trying to pull Luke impossibly closer to himself. The soulmate bond made it so much more. It was like he could feel Luke everywhere, even the places he wasn't touching him, making him feel hot and overwhelmed in the best possible way. It was as though their minds were touching, their emotions too. It was like their souls were touching and it was the best feeling in the entire world.

"Well I certainly didn't expect to walk in on this," an amused voice said from the doorway. Ashton broke away from the kiss, but Luke kept his hand on the back of Ashton's neck, his other arm still wrapped around Ashton's waist.

Ashton opened his eyes, still feeling Luke's lips barely touching his own. Luke chuckled in amusement, his breath fanning against Ashton's mouth and Ashton was entranced with the way his blue eyes seemed to light up as he did, his own eyes staring into Ashton's.

He stared at the way Luke's cheeks were flushed, the way his eyes seemed slightly hooded and the way he stared at Ashton like he was the best thing in the entire world.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made Ashton jump, Luke allowing Ashton to pull back completely this time. Ashton pulled his eyes away from Luke, panting slightly and face flushed to see who had entered the dorm.

The first thing he saw was bright red hair, vibrant and contrasting against extremely pale skin. There was a slight dark stubble on his jaw, his plump and red lips pulled into a smirk. He raised his eyebrow, the eyebrow piercing in it highlighting the movement as his green eyes glinted with amusement.

He knew it was Michael, had seen it was him on stage during the performance yesterday, but seeing him up close was different and exciting. The last time he'd seen him was when they were kids, and although the resemblance was still slightly there, he was also so different. Ashton liked it though, the way he looked suiting him completely.

"Come here, you," Michael said, his smirk turning into a fond smile as he held out his arms. Ashton was confused, turning to Luke and expecting him to go and hug Michael but Luke just smiled and nudged Ashton forward.

"Yes I'm talking to you, Ashton Irwin so get your perky little ass over here so I can hug you," Michael said and Ashton's eyes widened as he made his way over to Michael.

Michael pulled Ashton into a bone crushing hug, pinning Ashton's arms to his side and making it difficult to breathe. Despite all that he couldn't stop the huge smile that came onto his face.

"I missed you, Ashy. Don't go disappearing like that on us again," Michael said, voice muffled into Ashton's neck, making Ashton giggle at the feeling tickling him.

"See, I almost forgot how cute you are too!" Michael said, pulling away but holding Ashton at arms length as he admired him. Ashton couldn't help but pout as he looked up at Michael, however.

"What?" Michael asked, frowning too.

"He's finally seeing how ugly you are," Luke snickered making Michael shoot him a death glare that only made Luke laugh harder.

"It's not that, Mikey," Ashton assured as Michael looked at him again. "It's just- everyone is taller than me," Ashton frowned and this time Michael burst out laughing, throwing his head back as he did.

"You're not that short, baby. And anyways, you're still taller than your friend Louis," Luke said, smiling softly as he came to stand by Ashton. He pulled Ashton away from Michael's grasp and Ashton immediately leaned into his touch.

"I'm happy for you, Ashy. I'm so happy you got your eyesight back," Michael said, turning serious as he stared at Ashton deeply. All Ashton could manage was a nod, feeling slightly emotional.

"I'd also like to say, however, that the two of you better have sorted your shit out. You guys have put enough stress on Cal and I for a lifetime," Michael groaned and Luke and Ashton smiled.

"We're working on it," Ashton said truthfully and Luke nodded, pulling Ashton closer to himself.

"Well it certainly looked like it when I walked in," Michael smirked, shooting them a wink and Ashton couldn't help but blush. "Anyways, we should get going. The performances are starting again soon and I'm singing today," he said proudly.

"What are you singing?" Ashton asked curiously, almost having forgotten that the musical event would continue today.

"It's a song I wrote. It's called Jet Black Heart. Now come on you two stubborn lovebirds, we haven't got all day."

***

"I have to go help Michael but there's Cal, Louis and Harry so will you be alright with them?" Luke asked, pointing to where the group stood in front of the stage surrounded by the heavy crowd.

"I'll be fine, Lukey," Ashton nodded, not helping the pang in his chest, however, knowing he wouldn't be with Luke, even if it wasn't for long.

Luke smiled fondly, cupping Ashton's face as he kissed him softly.

"I missed you calling me Lukey," he admitted, almost shyly making Ashton smile wide.

"I love you, baby. I'll see you after the show," Luke said as he kissed Ashton's forehead. He pulled away and began walking off but Ashton ran forward and gripped Luke's shirt from behind. Luke turned around in confusion before smiling when he saw it was Ashton.

"You didn't let me tell you that I love you too," Ashton huffed in annoyance making Luke laugh loudly, his tongue poking out slightly through his teeth and his eyes closed, a few people standing nearby turning to look.

"I'm sorry, baby. You can tell me now," Luke assured and Ashton nodded, fighting the blush on his cheeks.

"I love you, Lukey," Ashton said before leaning up on his tiptoes and placing a kiss on Luke's jaw. Luke gave Ashton a lopsided grin and a slap on the ass, making Ashton flush a bright red, glaring at Luke making the latter laugh loudly as he walked off.

"Don't look at me like that. You love me, baby," Luke called from further away as he walked off, not even having to look back at Ashton to know he was glaring.

As Ashton watched Luke's retreating figure, he couldn't help but smile softly. Maybe this time, things would finally work out for them. It would be difficult and they had a lot of work to do but it would be worth it because Luke made him the happiest he could ever be when they were together and he hoped he did the same to Luke.

Ashton took a deep breath and made his way towards the guys, weaving through the crowd and apologising when he accidently knocked into someone.

"Hey guys," Ashton said, a sheepish smile on his face as he stood behind them. The three of them turned around, breaking into huge grins before pulling Ashton into a group hug.

"You okay?" Calum asked once they'd pulled away and Ashton nodded, smiling gratefully.

"Make sure you don't go stealing my car again," Louis joked making Ashton wince at the reminder. Harry elbowed Louis, a little too hard making Louis shoot daggers at him despite the fond look in his eyes.

"Are you excited to hear Michael play?" Ashton asked, turning to Calum. Calum smiled excitedly, nodding.

"Yeah, he's been working on this song since forever. I haven't heard it yet sadly since he wouldn't let me," Calum said warmly with an eye roll.

The two stopped talking when the same girl from the day before made her way onto the stage, smiling widely. She went on to thank everyone who had come and for all the support but Ashton wasn't paying attention, instead letting his eyes wonder the crowd.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw the way Harry had an arm around Louis' waist, Louis' head rested on Harry's shoulder. Ashton was glad Louis found Harry. He knew Louis had gone through a lot in the past, things he never talked about and he needed someone who was there for him.

Ashton startled when the first singer started performing, not having noticed him get on the stage. The song was impressive but once again Ashton wasn't focusing because a pair of warm arms suddenly wrapped around his waist, a chin coming to rest on top of his head.

Ashton would've startled but he'd recognize Luke's touch anywhere, so instead he leaned into him, sighing in relief.

"Did you miss me, baby?" Luke whispered playfully in Ashton's ear making goose bumps appear all over his skin. Ashton hummed in response, knowing Luke could hear him due to their proximity.

Luke squeezed Ashton more tightly to himself, the two swaying a little to the music. Luke hummed along to himself, his voice making Ashton's eyes flutter shut at the sound of it.

"Next up we have Michael Clifford," the girl announced and Ashton opened his eyes hurriedly, seeing Calum bouncing excitedly. Luke chuckled and Ashton knew he was looking at Calum too.

Ashton focused his attention back on the stage as Michael walked on, electric guitar in hand. Another person went on towards the drums and another picking up the bass guitar. Michael adjusted the microphone stand, every now and then looking at Calum with a smile.

"Hi everyone. This is a song I've been working on for a while now so I hope you enjoy. It's called Jet Black Heart. I also just wanted to say thank you to the most amazing boyfriend in the world. I love you, Cal," Michael said, grinning wide and Ashton couldn't help but smile at the way the two looked at each other.

The song started off low, the instruments starting their tune before Michael began to sing and Ashton didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't what he heard. He didn't expect the way Michael wholly immersed himself into the song, the way his eyes shut tight in passion. He didn't expect the complete rawness in his voice that made Ashton feel every word.

But what got Ashton the most was the lyrics and Ashton couldn't help but feel entirely connected to the song. Ashton didn't realise a tear had slid down his cheek until he felt Luke brush it away. He turned his head upwards, struggling to see Luke's face but when he did he smiled and Luke smiled sadly back, feeling exactly what Ashton was feeling.

Ashton took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he listened to the song come to an end and feeling Luke's embrace. He opened his eyes again, realising that he needed to see Luke. After so long being in the dark, any more time with his eyes closed was time he could've spent looking at Luke.

Everyone clapped loudly as Michael finished, giving a dramatic bow before making his way off the stage. Calum cheered like a mad-man, the surrounding people laughing loudly and joining in. Ashton giggled, watching the way Calum jumped up and down. Ashton covered his mouth to try and suppress his laugh before he felt eyes boring into him. He tilted his head upwards to see Luke smiling down at him, his eyes full of love, the feeling seeping through the bond and filling him up.

"I love you," Ashton said, catching Luke off guard by saying it first and Ashton was glad. He wanted to surprise Luke and make him feel just as valuable.

"Good," Luke said before turning to face the stage again. Ashton pouted, frowning as he poked Luke in the stomach. Ashton whined when Luke still remained staring forward, so he turned around in his arms completely so that he was face-to-face with Luke. He could feel Luke's amusement through the bond though and knew he was only messing around.

"Lukey," Ashton pouted. Ashton lifted his hand, running his finger along Luke's jaw and feeling the stubble, smiling when Luke shuddered slightly. He watched as Luke's dimple made a small appearance as he tried to fight off his smile, but in the end smiled wider than ever, looking down at Ashton lovingly.

"Don't worry, baby. I love you too," Luke said, smirking before he wrapped his arms around Ashton's waist and lifted him off the ground, swinging him around gently. Ashton clutched onto Luke's shirt tightly in surprise, staring wide-eyed.

Ashton felt his foot knock something and looked over his shoulder in time to see someone clutching their arm and staring angrily, making Ashton blush.

"Lukey, put me down," Ashton said, giggling slightly as he buried his face into Luke's neck.

Ashton could feel the way Luke's chest vibrated slightly as he chuckled, the sound rumbling through him as his arms encased Ashton completely and he felt so unbelievably happy he almost couldn't breathe.

It would be hard work. Happiness isn't free and trust doesn't come easily, you have to work for it and do everything you can to keep it but in the end it's so completely worth it because being so happy you could almost cry with it, your chest full with love you can barely contain it, god, it's worth it all.

He knows that eventually he'll be able to trust Luke completely but he's not worried about it for now, because Luke will help him and Ashton will help Luke just like how it's supposed to be. Together.

He wished he could tell him, his ten-year-old self that eventually he's going to have the world. He wished he could tell him that everything would work out and that even when things are at their darkest, there's always light. Because he really did have the world and he knew without a doubt that everything would be okay.

Everything would be more than okay.

***

By the way, I have a new story that I'll be updating once I finish this one. It's a Michael BoyxBoy fic so if you want you can go ahead to my profile and read the description to see if you'd be interested!

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