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Dedication: @hemwns

First of all, I'm so sorry about how late this chapter is I think it's been nine days since I last updated. I'm horrible I know, and to make matters worse I don't even have a good excuse I've just been procrastinating.

Super crappy chapter and once again I'm sorry but as you'll see by the ending I'm excited to write the new chapter!! It's gonna be fun! :)

Last exam until I'm finished with High School forever is in a few hours! It's 2:00am I shouldn't even be awake!! :(

I'm uploading the first chapters of my two new Lashton stories on Friday so if you're interested go check them out.

Not much editing took place so please don't be afraid to point out any spelling or grammatical errors so I can correct them.

Vote/comment if you wish to do so and I'll love you! Hope you enjoy this chapter even if it's terrible. - Vanessa

***

Previously:

"I- I can't feel his emotions anymore," Ashton murmured, finally placing the strange numbness and empty feeling in his chest. He couldn't feel Luke's emotions or even his presence. Everything was wrong, he felt wrong, but at the same time it held a sense of finality.

It was better this way. Luke didn't know he was gone, they never said goodbye but it was better like this because Luke never loved him anyways so it didn't matter, it never had.

***

Ashton lay in bed listening to the steady vibration of his phone ringing on his bedside. He knew he should answer it but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hated himself more and more just thinking about how worried Michael and Calum probably were about him when he never said he was leaving and just disappeared.

What hurt most of all was that Luke never called. He asked his mom who the missed calls belonged to and all of them were from Michael and Calum. He knew Luke didn't care about him; he'd said so himself, but being hit with the evidence of that hurt more than he'd care to admit.

He didn't know whether or not he was glad the numbness was gone. He didn't like feeling numb but the ache in his chest and the pain of not having Luke was much worse. He'd cried for hours when he got home and was now exhausted; lying in bed hoping for sleep to come but he couldn't, not when everything hurt so much.

Luke never loved me. Luke never cared.

Each time he said that to himself was like a knife twisting in his heart. It kept going deeper and opening the wound further, preventing it from healing. He could hear him; the voice of his ten-year-old self reminding him of why we should never trust. It's not safe. Trusting someone is giving yourself over to people and having faith that they wont destroy you but they always do.

Which is why he wont call Michael and Calum back. He doesn't know why they're calling and although he believes it's because they're worried, his ten-year-old self reminds him that no one really cares. They're probably calling because they're angry at him, after all they probably think Ashton cheated on Luke just like Luke believes.

Even though Luke was the one who cheated, they've known Luke for far longer. They were probably only with Ashton out of obligation; their best friend was with someone and they didn't want to be rude. It makes sense and he doesn't blame them. He's never had anything to offer, who would hang out with Ashton because they honestly wanted to?

Harry.

Ashton felt a slight pang in his chest because Harry was the only friend he had who had no connection to Luke. Harry went out of his way to hang out and talk to Ashton. There were times when he thought maybe he only hung out with Ashton because none of his other friends were around but Harry had friends in their lecture but chose to sit with him anyways. Maybe it was out of pity but Harry deserved an explanation.

He grabbed the phone from his bed side and held down on the button before asking Siri to call Harry. He tried to remain quiet because his family was asleep and it was late but Siri clearly had hearing problems so he kept having to repeat himself louder. He sighed in relief when he heard the phone ringing and placed it to his ear.

It wasn't too late, he knew Harry would be awake but his family and himself had always been ones to go to bed earlier than most so for him it was relatively late.

"Ashton!" Harry answered shortly, his voice filled with relief and Ashton but his lip in guilt but also a strange sense of relief. Someone cared about him.

"Hey Harry," Ashton said, wincing at how his voice cracked; hoarse with how much he'd cried.

"Where are you? Michael and Calum are worried about you!" Harry said and Ashton bit his lip so harshly. Every reminder that Luke didn't care felt like a piece of himself was being taken away. He felt like a statue; cold and so very breakable. Each reminder of Luke was like a chisel chipping away at him bit by bit.

He worried there would be nothing left of him if the chisel continued to work; taking away everything that made him who he was. He didn't realise how much he'd began to rely on Luke, how much he needed him, but now that he was gone it was too much. The loss of the only person he could ever love weighed heavy in his heart.

"Ashton?" Harry asked again.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm not at the university anymore and I wont be coming back. I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me and being my friend when hardly anyone else would. Even if you did it out of pity or whatever I'm still grateful," Ashton said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Ashton, I was never friends with you because I pitied you, I'm friends with you because I honestly care about you. I wont ask where you are or why you wont come back if you don't want to tell me but I'll always be your friend and you can always talk to me," Harry said sincerely and Ashton did everything he could to stop from crying.

"Thank you so much, Harry. That means a lot. Can- can I ask you something?" Ashton said, knowing he probably didn't want to know the answer.

"Of course, anything."

"Have you spoken to Luke?" Ashton whispered, voice trembling.

"No. I spoke to Calum and Michael and they were so worried and confused because they haven't seen Luke since this morning and you just disappeared too," he said softly and Ashton nodded.

"Can I ask you something else?" Ashton asked timidly

"Go ahead."

"Have you- have you heard of soulmates losing their emotional connection?"

He heard Harry's sharp intake of breath and felt like he couldn't breathe. He didn't know what he was afraid of; never feeling Luke's emotions again or being connected to him when they would never be together.

"Yeah I- someone in my family. It was my mom's great grandmother. She's dead, obviously, but my mom once told me about it."

"What happened," Ashton whispered so softly he thought perhaps Harry hadn't heard him.

"Well, I can't remember exactly. I remember it was one sided. It doesn't happen often and usually the person who loses their ability to feel their soulmates emotions is someone who's emotionally- well I guess-"

"Emotionally damaged?" Ashton supplied weakly.

"Yeah I guess you could say that. My mom said something about how some people believed it was like a barrier they subconsciously put up to prevent themselves from getting hurt further. It's only possible if you're not fully connected to your soulmate though because usually a soulmate connection is too strong to sever."

"Can you get it back?" Ashton didn't know why he was asking. Luke didn't want him, he made that perfectly clear.

"My mom said that the only way was to fully connect to your soulmate. If not then you never get it back," he finished off softly and Ashton could feel a warm tear slide down his cheek.

If he never got his eyesight back he'd never be able to regain the soulmate connection. Of course he would always love Luke, he still did, but they'd never be connected. He tried to remind himself that it didn't matter anyways because Luke didn't love him and Luke didn't want him but it still hurt regardless.

"Okay," Ashton murmured.

"Luke can probably still feel your emotions though. I- I think you should tell him," Harry whispered.

"I wont tell him, Harry. You can tell him if you want, I doubt he'd care anyways but I wont. I'm done," Ashton said, harsher than he'd intended.

"Okay," he sighed. "Just call Michael or Calum then, please? They're really worried," he pleaded.

Ashton nodded, reluctantly agreeing. "I will. Thanks Harry."

"Don't be a stranger, Ash," Harry joked but he could hear the seriousness in his voice.

"I wont. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said softly before hanging up. Ashton groaned, wiping his eyes furiously as he felt a headache brewing. Before he could back out, he decided to call Michael.

"Oh my goodness, Ash. Where are you? Are you okay? What happened between you and Luke? I've been trying to get a hold of you for ages," Michael hurried out, voice panicked the moment he answered.

"I'm fine, Mikey," Ashton said, hoping to at least get out a weak chuckle but his voice just sounded hoarse.

"You don't sound fine. What happened?" He begged.

"I- I don't really want to talk about it, Mikey. I just called to say thank you for being my friend - you and Calum - even if it was just because I was with Luke."

"You were with Luke? You're not together anymore? Why do you sound like you're saying goodbye? And we weren't friends with you because of Luke, Ashton. We're friends with you because of you," he said, voice laced with frustration and urgency.

"I left. I'm not at the University and I'm not coming back. Me and Luke aren't together anymore and we wont ever be. He doesn't care about me, he made that perfectly clear. I wont be seeing you guys for a long time so I just wanted to say thanks, I guess," Ashton knew Michael could hear the tremble in his voice and he did everything to calm himself down.

"What happened Ash? Please? Whatever Luke did I'll make the bastard fix it just please come back."

There was no use in holding back the tears so he let them flow freely, sniffling quietly.

"Luke doesn't want me, Mikey and I don't think I could forgive him either. I don't want to talk about Luke ever again so I need you and Calum to stop. Thank you for everything but you can't fix this and I don't want you to. I just want to move on with my life," Ashton said, feeling a sob building up in his chest that he refused to let loose.

"Will you be at home?" Michael asked quietly and Ashton knew where he was going with this.

"No. I'm going somewhere else for a while depending on how things turn out tomorrow then after a while I'm going to another University. You can call my mom all you want, I know you tried, but she wont tell you where I'm going. I'm sorry Michael I just need time to myself."

"I don't understand, Ashy," Michael whispered and Ashton couldn't help the sob that he let out.

"I-I know and I'm so-sorry," Ashton cried. "I-I love you guys. Tell C-Calum I love him t-too even if y-you guys never really l-liked me-"

"We love you too, Ashy. Calum, Luke and I. No matter what happened between you and Luke, he loves you," Michael said firmly. "This isn't goodbye, Ash, not if I have a say in this. We'll see you again I'll make sure of it."

"I-I guess I'll talk to yo-you later then."

"You sure will," Michael said, voice breaking despite his firm tone.

Once they hung up, Ashton felt glad he was going to his Aunt's house. His Aunt lived closer to the hospital he was going to and if all went according to plan and he was going through with the surgery, then his dad wanted him closer to the hospital in case of emergency and for check-ups. His family was also coming with to his Aunt's house and he was grateful.

If Ashton wasn't getting his sight back then he was already prepared, having already asked his mom when they'd gotten home today to call the University about transferring. He'd be staying a lot closer to home in the new university and he preferred it that way.

But whatever happened at the hospital appointment tomorrow, he was glad he wouldn't be home for a long while. He knew Michael would tell Luke some lie and trick him into coming along. He could already imagine the doorbell ringing with Luke, Michael and Calum on his doorstep.

A part of him wanted that more than anything but he knew he couldn't handle Luke rejecting him again. He wasn't strong enough for that and he was sure he'd break completely. For now, he was hanging on to the slim hope that he'd get his eyesight back because a world in the dark without Luke as his light was a world he never wanted to live in.

***

"So Ashton, it's great to see you again," Dr. Matthews said, smile evident in his voice.

"I'd say you too but I haven't ever really seen you to begin with," Ashton said, cringing at his horrible attempt at a joke.

"Ashton!" His mom scolded and Ashton blushed lightly.

"It's quite alright Ms. Irwin. He is right after all but that's why we're here, isn't it? To change that. Hopefully if everything goes right you'll be able to see," he said gently and Ashton could feel his hands shaking from nerves.

"So Ashton, do you have any idea how this procedure would work?"

"Um, is- is it like an eye transplant or something?" He asked nervously, fidgeting with the sunglasses on his face.

"Well, not quite. Technically there's no such thing as an eye transplant. Medically, we're not that advanced yet," he said with a chuckle, making Ashton frown in confusion. "Do you know what the cornea of the eye is?" Ashton shook his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"Well, the cornea of the eye is the clear tissue that covers the front of each eye.  Light entering your eye first passes through the cornea, then to your pupil and then your lens. In order for you to see properly, the cornea must remain clear. Due to the accident that happened when you were ten, scarring occurred in the cornea which resulted in light no longer being able to enter your eye.

A year after your accident I moved to a new hospital and as a result many of my old case files were lost. Recently I've been able to get them all back and after moving back here I decided to give your mother a call. I noticed on your file I said that the chances of you ever getting your eyesight back were practically non-existent but over the last few years where I was working I worked a lot with cornea transplants.

After coming back and locating your file, I immediately called your mother letting her know that there was a chance that this procedure may work for you. I was hoping we'd be able to do tests today that will let us know if you're applicable for the procedure. As long as the damage in your eye is solely in the cornea of your eye, a cornea transplant is very likely to work for you."  

"Okay I-I'll do the tests," Ashton stuttered nervously.

"Excellent, Ashton. Well, if you'll come with me, your mother can stay here as we wont be gone long," he said, before Ashton felt a firm grip on his arm. He stood up shakily to follow Dr. Matthews out, so nervous he almost couldn't breathe.

***

"Ash, calm down sweetie," his mom murmured from where she was sitting beside him in Dr. Matthews office waiting for him to come back with the results. The air was cold, the air-con above them blasting cool air that helped him clear his head slightly but he couldn't stop his leg from tapping obnoxiously out of nerves.

After the tests an hour ago, Dr. Matthews had led him back to his mom before saying he'd be back with the results of the test. He'd never been more nervous in his life and he couldn't help but wish Luke was here next to him. He could almost feel the way his hand would grip Ashton's gently but firmly, his calloused thumb tracing comforting circles on the top of his hand. He could imagine his gentle and reassuring words and the way he'd assure Ashton that he loved him and no matter what the results said they'd be okay.

But Luke wasn't here and Ashton had to accept that.

Ashton jumped when the door opened and blushed knowing his mom and Dr. Matthews probably saw.

"Good news, Ashton," he said. Ashton could hear the chair scraping in front of him over the erratic beating of his heart. "The test results show that the damage in your eye remains solely in your cornea which means if you're up for it, we'd like to preform a cornea transplant that is likely to restore you to full vision."

Ashton felt the lump in his throat as his eyes burned with tears. He swallowed and willed himself not to cry but felt the tears slide down his cheeks before he could stop it.

"I-I could s-see again?" Ashton cried as he felt his mom sit beside him, pulling him into a gentle hug.

"Yes Ashton, I believe so. Of course there is a chance that after the surgery your eye will reject the cornea or something may go wrong which is a possibility in every procedure but yes, there is a chance you may regain your vision. Are you willing to go forth with the surgery?" Dr. Matthews asked brightly.

"Yes," Ashton answered quickly, making the doctor and his mom chuckle. He wiped his tears, sniffling as he tried to not get his hopes up too high. There was always the chance it wouldn't work.

"That's excellent Mr. Irwin. As you were one of my first patients I've selected you first for the procedure as I'd hoped you would say yes. We'd like to go through with the surgery as soon as possible so we'd like you to come next week for the surgery as the cornea is coming from a donor. The surgery is simple enough that we have to remove the cornea from the donor eye and replace your scarred cornea with the clear one. Your eyes will look exactly as they did before the accident. Do you have any questions, Ashton?"

"Uh n-no I don't think so," Ashton said, biting his lip nervously.

"Right, so after the procedure, you'll have to stay over night as we'll be conducting a penetrating keratoplasty which is a full- thickness corneal transplant. The eye pad will be removed the following day but you will find your vision to be blurry. Your vision will come back from as little as a few weeks to a year depending and may fluctuate between being blurry and clear. Unfortunately, it's likely you may need to wear corrective lenses indefinitely after the procedure but I'm sure glasses or contact lenses wont be a problem for you as long as you can see, right?" He said, chuckling. Ashton couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah I don't mind, Doctor," Ashton murmured, smiling sheepishly.

***

"I can't believe Ash is getting his eyesight back," Aunt Kathy cried out. Ashton winced when she pinched his cheeks but smiled small anyways.

"Kathy, leave the poor boy alone," his dad sighed but a smile was clear in his voice. "You should probably get some rest, Ash. It's been a long day today," his dad suggested and Ashton nodded, standing up and waiting for his dad to lead him to the room he'd be staying at at his Aunt's house. He loved Aunt Kathy, but she could be a little much sometimes so he was glad when his dad led him to the bedroom.

He sighed in relief when he heard the door close when his dad left. He lay down on the bed, removing his sunglasses and rubbing at his eyes tiredly. There were no words in the world to describe the way he felt knowing he'd be able to see again if the surgery went well. He felt like he could cry he was so happy but at the same time he felt so incredibly empty. He was itching to tell someone, more specifically Luke but Luke wouldn't care. He was probably with Arzaylea right now.

Arzaylea wasn't a problem. She wasn't a burden and more work than she was worth. Just because Luke and him were soulmates, that didn't mean Luke would want to be with someone who was a liability. Ashton wasn't worth all the effort Luke had to put in just to be with him and although he hated what Luke did with all his heart, he didn't blame Luke. He loved him and he just wished he was good enough for him. He'd do anything to be good enough.

Ashton groaned when he heard his phone vibrating on the bedside. He didn't realise he'd fallen asleep and rubbed his eyes tiredly wondering what the time was and how long he'd been sleeping. He was so tired and groggy that he grabbed the phone without a second thought and answered it.

"Hello?" He asked, voice thick with sleep as his head dropped back down to the pillow. It took him a while to realise that no one had responded on the other end. "Hello?" He asked again, getting slightly annoyed at being woken up.

"Ashton," someone whispered on the other end and Ashton felt like his heart would explode just at the sound of his voice. He could feel his eyes welling up with tears and he swallowed loudly as he tried to keep himself from crying.

"Luke?" Ashton asked and he mentally scolded himself for sounding so broken. "What do you want, Luke?" Ashton asked, trying to sound firm but his voice just trembled.

"Why did you do it? I need to know why I wasn't good enough," Luke said softly and Ashton could've sworn it sounded as if he was crying but it didn't make sense to him. Luke didn't care about him, so why did it sound so much as though he did right now.

Ashton never planned on telling Luke that he never cheated on him but he needed to let Luke go. This was the last time he ever planned on speaking to him again so maybe it was best he cleared it up.

"I never cheated on you, Luke," Ashton whispered and he heard Luke's breath hitch. He knew Luke was about to speak again but he spoke before he could. "I'd never do that to you. The only person I've ever been with in my life is you.

I went to school with Brandon. We used to be friends, I suppose you could say, but he was involved in the incident when I was ten. I hated him after that and blamed him for so much. He told me he wanted to explain things to me so we met up before the party to talk. I guess I understood him a lot better which was why I invited him to the party," Ashton said, sounding so completely tired. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. He loved Luke, but having to explain himself after what Luke did made him angry.

"Then why were you avoiding me?" Luke asked, his voice sounding confused and almost vulnerable. He wasn't used to hearing Luke like that, his usual confident demeanor gone.

"I had to go home and I wasn't ready to tell you why and I guess I felt guilty for not telling you, Luke," Ashton sighed. He wanted to hang up, needed to because every second spent talking to Luke sent the knife in his chest further in.

Luke was quiet, the only sound his breathing on the other end as Ashton waited for him to say something.

"Then why did you kiss him?" Luke asked, voice laced with anger. Ashton expected to feel it, feel the anger leaking through the emotional connection but he couldn't and he felt so incredibly incomplete without it.

"Wait, what?" Ashton asked, realising what Luke said.

"You kissed that dude, Brandon or whatever his name is," Luke demanded making Ashton flinch.

"I didn't kiss anyone, Luke. You're the only person I've ever kissed," Ashton said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I saw you two at the party. I went to talk to you, I called out your name then suddenly you two were kissing. I was drunk but I know what I saw," Luke said strongly. It was more difficult to read Luke. He didn't realise how much he relied on his emotions when he couldn't see his face to determine how Luke was feeling when he said something.

Ashton remembered a slight hazy memory of lips pressing against his own. It wasn't clear, just a feeling of lips brushing his, but he distinctly remembers that it was Luke who kissed him.

"The only person I kissed at the party was you, Luke. I was drunk too but I heard you call my name before you kissed me," Ashton said softly, thinking back to the hazy memory.

"I never kiss you at the party, Ashton," Luke said, sounding just as lost as Ashton was.

"But-"

"The only person you kissed was that Brandon dude," Luke said slowly, as thought trying to process his thoughts. Ashton could feel a headache coming and he just wanted to sleep.

"I didn't cheat on you, Luke, but you clearly cheated on me so I don't know what you're getting at with this. You said yourself that you didn't care so what do you want, Luke?" Ashton couldn't help but be surprised in himself. His usual shy and almost timid nature was lost to his hurt.

"I-I just-"

"You made it clear you never wanted me, Luke. So just let me go then. I'm not coming back to the university so you can be with Arzaylea. You can be happy without me," Ashton whispered, refusing to make the tears that fell down his face evident in his voice. He was breaking. Each second spent talking to Luke made it worse but he wouldn't let Luke know, he couldn't because he was tired of giving people the potential to crush him.

"Wait, what do you mean you're not coming back?" Luke said sounding panicked.

"I told Michael and Calum this already. They didn't tell you?"

"I haven't really spoken to anyone since- you know," he murmured.

"Well I need to go, I guess," Ashton sighed. He swallowed the lump in his throat trying to keep his mind from repeating that this was probably the last time he'd ever talk to Luke again.

"Wait Ashton I need to tell you-" Luke shouted, voice urgent.

"Goodbye, Lukey," Ashton whispered before ending the call.

Ashton could feel his heart beating so erratically he could almost hear it. It hurt, God did it hurt, so much so that his chest felt like acid, an empty feeling coursing through him where Luke's emotional presence had been his entire life. He could feel Luke's absence everywhere; the ache in his heart, the still ringing of Luke's voice in his ears and the ghost of his touch.

Ashton bit his lip so hard he tasted blood as he threw his phone full force across the room. He he heard it smash against the wall and winced at the sound, knowing it was broken. He didn't care though. Everything breaks eventually.

Ashton curled up into a ball, his eyes puffy with tears, and waited for sleep to come again so that he didn't have to think about anything for a little while.

***

"Right Ashton, how are we feeling today?" Dr. Matthews asked as he walked into the room. Ashton fidgeted nervously with his hospital gown as he lay in the bed. He'd never been more nervous in his entire life. The past week had gone surprisingly quickly as he'd found himself reading far more than usual to keep his mind off of everything. He regretted that his phone was broken, he'd liked to have talked to someone, maybe Harry, about what was happening but there was nothing he could do now.

"I-I'm okay," Ashton murmured, licking his lips nervously.

"It's okay to be nervous, Ashton," he said kindly and Ashton nodded appreciatively at the soft tone of his voice. "Are you at least a little excited?"  He asked hopefully and Ashton frowned while thinking about it.

"I-I guess a little but I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Things don't usually go my way," Ashton mumbled, frowning.

"Well Ashton, I can promise you that I'll do everything I possibly can to make sure you see again," he said firmly yet still gently and Ashton couldn't help the shy grin he directed at the doctor.

There was a loud bustling further away from Ashton before he heard loud arguing and talking. He smiled when he heard his siblings, Lauren and Harry, arguing while his parents tried to shush them.

"Harry pulled my hair," Lauren hissed angrily while Harry just laughed happily in the background.

"Harry, stop annoying your sister for one second and wish your brother good luck," his mom snapped.

"I can't wait for you to see again, Ashy," Harry exclaimed before he felt a weight being thrown on him. He squealed in surprise as Harry wrapped his small arms around him and Ashton smiled as he carded his fingers through his hair.

"I'm excited to finally see you guys," Ashton said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Are you nervous, Ashy?" Lauren asked, sounding somewhat nervous herself. Ashton nodded timidly.

"Yeah, a little," he admitted. He felt Lauren's arms wrap around his shoulders to join Harry who was still hugging him. He felt two pairs of longer arms add to the hug before he was being fully embraced by his entire family and he couldn't help the tear that escaped at the action. He really did love his family.

"My baby will finally be able to see again," his mom cried and Ashton chuckled weakly.

"Everything will be fine, you hear me? We'll all be waiting for you," his dad said firmly before pulling away to ruffle his hair. They all pulled away as Ashton wiped at his cheeks to remove the tears. He heard a few sniffles and knew he wasn't the only one who'd shed a few tears.

"Right, are you ready Ashton?" Dr. Matthews asked brightly.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Ashton said, trying to sound determined.

"Let's get your eyesight back then," he said and Ashton hoped more than anything it would all go well.

After being wheeled away in the bed to the operating room, a nurse gently gripped Ashton's arm, helping him get off his bed and onto the operating bed. It was eerily quiet and he didn't like it, it made him feel more nervous than before and the air was cold.

The nurse told him to lay back before she lifted his left arm out of the hospital gown.

"This is going to be a bit cold," she stated softly before he felt her hand pull his gown down to revel his chest and attach something that stuck to his chest and side. He didn't know what it was but he ended up wincing at the cold anyways before she pulled his gown back up to cover his chest.

The nurse took his left arm and straightened it outwards before he heard someone walk into the room. The nurse told him that it was the anesthesiologist as he heard someone sit on his left next to his outstretched arm.

"Right Ashton, I'm going to insert the drip and it's going to hurt a little but I need you to keep your arm still, okay? It'll take a little moment for the anesthetics to set in but after I insert the drip and place the oxygen mask over your face, you'll soon start to get slightly dizzy before going under. Are you ready?" He asked and Ashton could feel his breathing increasing in slight panic.

"Ashton, take a deep breath for me, okay?" Dr. Matthews said as he walked into the room. He placed a gentle hand on Ashton's shoulder, squeezing reassuringly.

"O-Okay, I'm ready," Ashton stuttered quietly.

"Right, you'll feel a slight pain as I put the drip in," the anesthesiologist said again and soon enough Ashton felt a pain on the top part of his hand. He winced in surprised as he felt the needle being tugged slightly as it was taped securely to his hand.

"I'm putting in the anesthetic now," he informed and Ashton took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He felt something being placed over his mouth and nose as he breathed and soon enough his head started to feel slightly fuzzy.

He could hear Dr. Matthews saying something but he wasn't sure what. All he could think about as he drifted under was Luke and how he'd give anything to see what he looked like. He couldn't help but think how the person he'd spent his whole life dreaming of seeing was gone before he'd even gotten the chance.

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