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So this chapter is dedicated to @Applezzz21 for literally voting when I had just posted the Prologue and you're still reading so thank you!
The song Luke and Ashton sing is in the media if you don't know it and want to know what it sounds like.
So I kind of liked this chapter when I started it but then it just got kind of weird? Idk... Sorry it's short I just felt like it was right to end the chapter where I did but I hope you enjoy it anyways considering I'm supposed to be studying lol.
If you notice any spelling or grammatical errors please let me know so that I can fix them!
Also, if you enjoy please comment and/or vote so that I know! This story is on 500+ reads and 85 votes so maybe while that's not a lot to others I'm really happy about it so thank you to everyone who's read, voted and commented so far! It really means a lot! :) - Vanessa
***
"Aw, is Ashy crying?" One of the boys taunted in the gym locker room.
"P-please just give it back," Ashton cried, rubbing the back of his hands against his eyes to rid away the tears.
"Why don't you look for it... oh wait you can't look for your cane, can you?" Another one said. Ashton felt suffocated, their laughter closing in around him and he blocked his ears but they only got louder.
Ashton looked up, confused when the laughter suddenly disappeared, an eerie silence taking its place. He looked up to see the deserted school corridor. He could hear the fire alarm's insistent blaring and he shuddered.
"Hello?" He called out, voice shaky with fear. He stood face to face with the familiar storeroom door, closed with smoke wafting through the bottom. He jumped when someone started knocking from the inside.
"Help!" The voice screamed. "Somebody help me, please!" The voice was hoarse and choked but Ashton would recognise it anywhere.
"Luke!" Ashton screamed back, rushing closer to the door and trying with all his might to open it.
"Ashton?" Luke cried out and Ashton felt his heart break with fear.
"It's me, Luke! I'll get you out, I promise!" Ashton screamed, tears streaming down his face because he was so scared for Luke. It was meant to be him on the other side of the door. He'd do anything for it to be him instead.
"Why did you lock me in here, Ashton?" Luke's voice boomed, the pounding on the door getting so loud it seemed it would break down from the force alone. Ashton took a step back in fright, Luke's voice so frightening.
"I- I didn't, Luke! I would never!"
"It's supposed to be you in here, not me!" The door flew open, banging against the wall as Luke stood completely burned and singed. Ashton screamed and covered his eyes, not wanting to see Luke so distorted.
"You did this. It was meant to be you," Luke's voice whispered in his ear.
"No no no," Ashton muttered, eyes still closed as he shook his head furiously. When it was quiet again, Ashton opened his eyes to see his school peers all standing around him, looking at him expressionless.
"Where's Luke?" Ashton asked, nervous with all their stares on him.
"Dead. You killed him," they all said together, Ashton shaking his head in denial.
"No-"
"You killed him!" They all screamed collectively as smoke began to fill the corridor. He couldn't breathe. Luke was dead and it was all his fault. He did it, he killed him.
"Luke!" Ashton screamed hopelessly.
"Ashton! Ashton wake up," a voice said urgently. Ashton felt himself being shaken. He opened his eyes, panicking when he still couldn't see, the darkness filled with Luke burned and distorted, echoes of cries and being told it was all his fault. Luke was dead.
Ashton could feel tears streaming down his face as he sobbed, foreign hands gripping his shoulders.
"No no," Ashton cried, squirming against the hands, needing the person to let him go.
"Baby, it's me! It's Luke!" He screamed, pulling Ashton into his arms, encasing the smaller boy in a firm hold. Ashton's arms remained at his side, pinned down by Luke's arms around him as he cried into Luke's chest.
"L-Luke?" He hiccupped, face buried in Luke's chest, so warm and familiar he could already feel his heart settling.
"I'm here, baby. I'm here," he whispered, rubbing circles into Ashton's back. He sighed into Luke's embrace, sinking into his arms and closing his eyes.
"You're okay," Luke continued to whisper, words soothing and washing over Ashton making him feel safe. Luke was fine. He was fine. They were okay.
Slowly, Luke lowered them both in the bed, both on their sides and facing each other. Luke held Ashton closer than ever before as he curled into a ball in Luke's arms.
"Are you okay?" Luke finally whispered after a few minutes.
"I'm fine," Ashton replied, voice hoarse from sleep and crying. "Thank you, Lukey."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, please no," Ashton begged and Luke hushed him softly.
"It's fine, we don't have to talk about it. It's three in the morning, let's go to sleep okay?" Luke suggested and Ashton just nodded. He knew if he was alone there was no way he'd be able to go back to sleep, but right here right now he felt safe with Luke so within no time he was falling asleep, the only sounds Luke's hushed and comforting words.
***
Ashton felt suffocated. He didn't know why he was under the duvet, especially when he specifically remembered going to bed last night with just the sheets around him and Luke but here he was, dying of heat under the duvet for God knows what reason.
Ashton groaned, throwing the duvet off of himself and burying his face into the pillow. He felt sweaty and disgusting, so the sudden cold breeze was welcoming as he hoped for more sleep to come to him.
"Wow, what a sight," Ashton heard from across the room. Ashton almost had a heart attack, a yelp escaping his lips as he pressed himself against the wall, clutching at his chest as he felt his heart beating rapidly.
"Michael!" Luke scolded from somewhere else in the room and Ashton breathed out a sigh of relief when he realised it was just Mikey. "You almost killed him," Luke said angrily, voice coming closer until he was sitting on the bed, pulling Ashton into his arms. Ashton snuggled into him, feeling his heart rate settle.
"Sorry, not my fault he looks freshly fucked," Michael said nonchalantly and Ashton froze in Luke's arms.
"What?" Ashton squeaked, cheeks flushing a dark shade of red.
"What the hell, Mikey?" Luke said, sounding like he wanted to laugh. "We didn't fuck."
"If you say so," Michael just muttered and Ashton was so confused and embarrassed.
"W-why would you say that?" He asked, still in Luke's arms.
"Maybe because you woke up with a flushed face, sweaty and with sex hair," he said, voice amused. Ashton huffed out in annoyance, pulling away from Luke and feeling around behind him for a pillow. He grasped onto it, turning to face the direction of Michael's voice and throwing it with all his might.
He heard a gasp and a light thud before Luke burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around Ashton's waist. "You actually hit him, baby," Luke said proudly, struggling to breathe with how hard he was laughing. He heard Michael grumbling in annoyance and Ashton couldn't help but giggle in response.
Ashton yelped when the pillow hit him in the face suddenly and Michael laughed louder than both Ashton and Luke had before. It was a little exaggerated in Ashton's opinion but he just pouted in annoyance.
"Hey! Don't hit Ash," Luke said, pulling Ashton closer.
"What? I had to get him back," Michael said once he'd regained his breath.
"Whatever, go find Calum or something before I throw my lamp at you," Luke said and Michael whined.
"But he's at a lecture and I'm bored!"
"Well tough. You ruined my morning with Ash so beat it," Luke replied nonchalantly.
"You're so mean to me," Michael sighed dramatically before Ashton heard shuffling and the door opening.
"Don't make too much noise you two," Michael joked before slamming the door behind him and leaving a blushing Ashton and a chuckling Luke in his wake.
***
"Do you want to talk about it, Ash?" Luke whispered when both boys were seated at the far corner of the library, attempting to complete their homework.
"Talk about what?" Ashton mumbled, confused as he placed his textbook down and adjusted the sunglasses on his face.
"Your nightmares. It might help you to talk about them," Luke offered but Ashton froze. Talking about his nightmares would mean he'd have to explain to Luke exactly what happened during the incident and he wasn't ready to tell Luke.
"Ah, it's no big deal Lukey. Really," Ashton insisted, trying to keep his tone light and casual so that maybe Luke would let it go.
"Are you sure?" Luke asked and Ashton could practically hear the pout in Luke's voice and it made him smile.
"Yeah I'm sure. Thank you, Lukey," Ashton said quietly, lowering his head as he fiddled with the textbook.
"For what?"
"For putting up with me. For helping me," Ashton said, shrugging.
"I don't put up with you, Ashton. Being with you isn't a burden. I love being with you and I wouldn't change a thing," Luke said, voice ringing with sincerity. Ashton swallowed, nodding slowly. He didn't know if what Luke was saying was true but he hoped more than anything it was.
"Hey guys," Ashton heard Calum say as the chair next to him was shifted, Calum most probably taking a seat.
"Hello," Ashton said warmly, smiling in Calum's general direction. Luke just hummed in acknowledgment.
"Wow Lucifer, chill with the enthusiasm," Calum said sarcastically making Ashton giggle into his hand. "Why can't you be more like Ashton?" He sighed.
"Yeah, well Ash doesn't really have any friends so he isn't used to it," Luke said nonchalantly, like it was no big deal and Ashton froze, eyes widening behind his glasses. Ashton suddenly heard a thump and Luke groaning.
"Are you serious, Lube?" Calum whispered loudly, voice angry.
"What the fuck, Cal? Why the fuck did you hit me? And why did you call me Lube you little shit?" Luke said, clearly annoyed. Ashton didn't care though, he felt a pang in his chest, hurt by what Luke said even if it was true. He didn't understand why Luke had to point that out though.
"Why did you say that about Ash?" Calum fumed. Ashton just lowered his head, fiddling with his textbook. He hated confrontation and it felt like Luke and him were always fighting. He hated it.
"Say what?" Luke asked, clearly oblivious but sounding slightly guilty. It made Ashton think that maybe he was overreacting. Luke was simply pointing out the truth and maybe the reason they were always fighting was because Ashton was too sensitive. Maybe that's why he'd never had any friends to begin with.
"You can't just say stuff like that to people! Especially your soulmate, you shit!"
Ashton fidgeted. He felt uncomfortable with the way they were talking about him like he wasn't there. He knew Calum was just trying to defend him and maybe he should say something but he didn't know what.
"Ah, I should probably go," Ashton said, clearing his throat and interrupting Luke who was about to say something in return.
"Wait baby, where are you going?" Luke said. He sounded sad and Ashton was tempted to stay but he didn't want to fight with Luke and he definitely didn't want to be the reason Calum and Luke fought.
"I'm going to go and get some coffee," Ashton said lightly. "I'll see you guys later." Ashton mentally high-fived himself for sounding so composed as he packed away his textbook and stood up.
"I'll come with you. You shouldn't be on your own-"
"I know how to get coffee on my own, Luke. I've done it lots of times before. I'm not completely incompetent," Ashton replied, cringing at the hint of hostility in his tone. He didn't mean to say that and that's why he needed to leave. He always said things he regretted.
"Baby just wait-"
"Bye Cal," Ashton said, smilingly tightly in his direction. "I'll see you later, Lukey," he said, turning in Luke's direction and offering the same smile. He got his cane ready and walked off, a little faster than he usually would because he could hear Calum raising his voice at Luke and he didn't want to hear what they were saying. He was also sure Luke would get kicked out of the library because they'd already caused commotion there before.
As Ashton walked to the coffee shop, he couldn't keep the frown off his face when thinking about what Luke had said. It honestly hurt to be reminded by Luke about the fact that he'd never had any friends as though it were nothing. He knew that was part of the reason he had so much difficulty with relationships and was a big problem for him today. He didn't like how Luke had said it or that he'd said that at all.
Ashton sighed in relief when he slumped into the familiar chair in the café. It wasn't long after he ordered that his coffee came and Ashton cupped his hands on the mug a little more happily, forgetting what Luke had said for a moment as he pulled out his textbook. He plugged in his earphones, read through the textbook and sipped on his coffee, feeling relatively better now that he was having some time to himself and not thinking.
When Ashton had just finished humming along to This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco, his earphones were tugged gently from his ears, making him jump in fright. He was glad he'd finished his coffee because he knew he'd have spilt it all over his textbook and he'd be screwed.
He turned confusedly in the direction he thought the person was in, frowning.
"Hey Ash, can I join you?" Ashton heard Calum ask and he sighed in relief that it was him and not some random person.
"Sure," Ashton nodded, wrapping his earphones around his phone and putting it back in his bag, along with his textbook. After Calum ordered, they sat in silence a little and Ashton shifted nervously.
"I'm sorry about Luke," Calum began and Ashton nodded, already knowing where this was going.
"It's okay Calum, it wasn't that big of a deal. I think I'm just overly sensitive," Ashton said, smiling small while adjusting his glasses.
"Ashton, you had every right to be upset," Calum said, almost sounding angry and making Ashton frown. "What Luke said was insensitive and even rude. Don't dismiss the way you feel because it's important even if others may not understand it," he said sternly.
"You were upset by what Luke said and you had every right to be. Don't make excuses for other people, even Luke, because you're important too, Ash," he continued, placing a hand over Ashton's. He didn't know why he suddenly felt a little emotional, but Calum's words made Ashton teary eyed as he smiled at him.
"Thanks, Cal," Ashton mumbled and Calum squeezed his hand tightly in return.
"That being said, Luke is stupid as fuck sometimes." Ashton furrowed his brows at Calum's words.
"That's mean, Calum," Ashton pointed out, not liking him insulting Luke, especially when he wasn't around to defend himself.
"Luke's like a brother to me and since his own brothers aren't around to say it, I will. He is stupid but I love him anyways because he's a good guy. He can be a real piece of shit sometimes though, especially in high school. He was a proper douche then. He's different around you though, you bring out the best possible version of himself. That also means you haven't really gotten around to knowing the other side of Luke.
He can be angry, spiteful, arrogant and insensitive but around you he's kind, caring, playful and everything good. I love every version of Luke and I know you will too because he's your soulmate but that doesn't mean you can excuse him and allow him to treat you less than you deserve. Sometimes he doesn't realise what he says or does is wrong which is why you have to tell him.
If it was anyone else telling him he'd laugh in their face but he's never once done that to me, Mikey and his family though and I know for a fact he'll never ever do that to you because he cares about you so much.
You can't see it, but the way he looks at you could take anyone's breathe away. He'll smile at you like you're the centre of his world, I mean you're his soulmate after all," he said with a chuckle. "When you laugh, his face breaks into a stupid grin. When you're studying in the library sometimes he'll just stare at you like he can't believe you're real.
So I just want you to remember that Luke isn't perfect and he will hurt you sometimes but everyone does without meaning to. It's okay for him to make mistakes as long as you don't dismiss them. If you feel hurt by something he says or does you have to tell him because he doesn't know otherwise. He doesn't always realise he's being shit. I know you guys will make up in the end though," Calum said.
Ashton sat for a moment processing everything he said. He didn't know how to feel. He felt butterflies erupt in his stomach when Calum described how Luke was around him, he wouldn't know after all, but he also didn't know how to feel knowing that Luke could be incredibly mean. He was glad Luke wasn't that way to him though, maybe he'd slip up a little but everyone gets a little upset sometimes and Ashton has also said things he regretted.
"Also," Calum said, drawing Ashton's attention back, "there's a line. Just because he's your soulmate doesn't mean everything he does is forgivable. If he crosses that line, don't feel obligated to forgive him. I love Luke but that doesn't mean I'd ever tell you to be in a relationship with him even if you were unhappy about it. You need to think more about yourself, Ashton. You need to start believing that you're worth being treated right."
Ashton nodded, swallowing. He thought over what Calum said and could see where he was coming from. He stored everything Calum said in the back of his mind in case he needed it. He didn't mind if Luke and him fought a little sometimes but he just hoped that what Calum said wouldn't come to be. He hoped nothing would happen that was unforgivable because he didn't know what he would do without Luke.
"Thanks Cal. We've both made mistakes though. I'm far from prefect and I don't trust easily and I make mistakes too. I'm learning though and I'm sure Luke might be in the same situation where I've done something wrong without realising it and he'll be the one having to forgive me," Ashton said, cringing a little at the Luke and Aleisha fight.
"I know," he said, sounding as though he was smiling a little. "I had my conversation with Luke too though so don't worry," he chuckled.
Ashton smiled back, nodding. "Are you studying psychology or something?" He joked.
"Actually, yeah," Calum laughed and Ashton's eyes widened, cheeks flushing a little.
"Oh, sorry," he mumbled but Calum just laughed again and said it was fine.
"What's so funny?" Ashton heard a voice say, recognising it as Michael. He came closer until he heard him taking a seat by Calum. He heard an odd sound until he realised they were kissing and cringed. Ashton just shook his head though, not wanting to say anything.
"So, why is Luke standing outside the café looking like a kicked puppy?" Michael asked happily. Ashton's eyes widened in confusion and Calum groaned.
"I told him I would call him to come in when I was done talking to Ashton so he could apologise. I completely forgot he was out there," Calum sighed again, voice laced with guilt. Michael, however, just laughed.
"That's hilarious! You should've seen him though I even took a picture," Michael laughed out before Ashton heard clicks probably coming from Michael's phone.
"Is anyone going to call him in?" Ashton asked, frowning because he felt bad for Luke.
"I say we leave him out for another five minutes," Michael laughed again and Ashton shook his head.
"I'll go talk to him," he said, getting up and slinging his backpack over his shoulder and picking up his cane, too lazy to fasten it around his wrist. "I'll see you guys later. And thanks again Calum," Ashton said, smiling in their direction. After saying their goodbyes, Ashton headed towards to door cautiously because there were tables everywhere and he'd almost tripped various times here because it was honestly confusing.
Just as Ashton reached the door, however, it swung open suddenly and hit Ashton, knocking him over.
"Oh fuck!" Ashton heard Luke shout from the door.
"Luke, you fuck up!" Michael yelled from the back of the café. Ashton sat up from the floor, cringing as he clutched the back of his head in pain.
"I'm so sorry, baby! Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck, I'm the worst person in the world why are you even with me?" Luke rambled and maybe Ashton would've laughed a little if he couldn't feel how completely guilt ridden Luke was through the bond. He could, however, so he just smiled at Luke fondly.
"It's okay, Lukey. I'm fine," Ashton said, smiling genuinely. Luke stopped rambling before pulling Ashton into a hug, Luke still kneeling beside Ashton who was sat on the floor. Ashton was glad the café sounded relatively empty because he knew everyone would be staring at them.
Ashton clutched onto Luke tightly, sighing in contentment as he nuzzled into his chest. Maybe his head did hurt but he ignored it for now, enjoying being in Luke's arms.
"Are you okay?" Luke whispered again, still clinging onto Ashton tightly. Ashton couldn't help the small giggle that escaped him this time.
"I'm fine, Lukey." Luke pulled away but still stayed close, Ashton feeling Luke's breath on his face. Luke adjusted Ashton's glasses and placed the cane in his hand before wrapping an arm around his waist and lifting him up. He helped Ashton adjust the cane around his wrist this time despite it being unnecessary but he didn't say anything because he could still feel Luke's guilt through the bond.
"Try not to kill poor Ash again, Lucifer!" Michael called out loudly and Ashton blushed, praying they were the only customers in the café at this point.
"Shut your trap!" Luke called back making Ashton shake his head because they were ridiculous sometimes.
After Luke and Ashton left the café, they walked around the campus with their hands intertwined. Even though they were going a little slow because Ashton was using his cane, Luke didn't seem to mind. Ashton hummed to himself absentmindedly. He didn't know why he was so happy considering he'd had better days but he was and he decided not to question it.
"Gonna make a heart-throb out of me
Just a bit of minor surgery
These desperate times call for desperate measures," Luke began singing along to Ashton's humming. Ashton blushed but also giggled a bit, excited that Luke knew the song.
"I'll give you something to cry about
Show some skin, and would be, caché
How could you let this get to desperate measures now?" Ashton continued softly but he knew Luke heard when he squeezed their intertwined hands.
"For a first effort this,
Feels kinda last ditch
I guess this just
Got kinda drastic
Trust us you just fell off the bus, baby," Luke sang more loudly, making Ashton grin widely as he hummed the tune softly for Luke.
"Sing it with me now," Luke yelled as though they were at a concert, making Ashton blush because they were in public and everyone was probably staring. He was surprised to find that he didn't care all too much when he was with Luke though.
"I can't let this, I can't let this, I can't let this go
I can't let this, I can't let this go
Desperate measures
I can't let this, I can't let this go," they sang together, Luke singing more softly so that he could hear Ashton.
"When I got you right where I want you
I been pushing for this for so long
Kiss me, just once, for luck
These are desperate measures now," Ashton smiled widely as they sang together, both getting more enthusiastic as they swung their intertwined hands and Ashton could hear Luke's smile as he sang.
"I can't let this, I can't let this go," Luke finished off softly, stopping them in their path and turning Ashton to face him. As Ashton felt Luke stare at him, he felt Luke's emotions and smiled when feeling how completely and utterly happy he was because Ashton was too. The fact that Luke's happiness was strong enough that Ashton could feel it through the bond made him grin wider, knowing Luke could feel Ashton's happiness too.
Ashton froze in surprise when feeling Luke's lips press against his own. Ashton tried to kiss back but he was smiling too widely making Luke pull back laughing, Ashton giggling as well.
"I love you," Luke said suddenly and Ashton froze again, eyes widening.
"W-what?" He said, shocked.
"I said I love you," he repeated, smile evident in his tone and sounding so completely happy. "You don't have to say it back if you're not ready, but I just wanted to tell you. I've loved you before we even met if I'm being honest," he chuckled, "but I wanted to give us some time together first.
We're not a perfect couple, far from it really. I'm a douchebag and I have anger problems and sometimes I'm completely insensitive. You struggle to open up to people and you're insecure and doubt yourself. I love you though, I love everything about you and I wouldn't change a thing. We're not perfect, not even when we're together but I think we're beautifully flawed and that's better than perfect to me.
I love you Ashton Irwin," Luke said and Ashton felt it. He felt through the bond undeniable love that made him feel as though his chest would burst. He felt his eyes watering because he never thought someone would love him, never thought anyone could love him that wasn't his family, but here Luke was telling him that he did.
He knew it wasn't too soon to say it, soulmates often found they loved each other after simply meeting on the first day while others took years. No one ever questioned it because you were made to be with that person, you loving them was unavoidable. It was never too soon because growing up feeling what they've felt and being connected in that way meant you already loved them to a certain extend before even knowing them.
It was seeing them though that often made soulmates say they loved each other on the first day. It was looking into their eyes and being connected completely that made them so sure. Ashton was surprised that Luke would say it though because they never had their full connection and they never would.
"Why are you crying, baby?" Luke asked, pulling Ashton into a hug. Ashton could hear Luke's heart beating as his ear was pressed against his chest.
"Y-you really love me?" Ashton whispered, crying without meaning to.
"Yes, I do. God do I love you," he breathed making Ashton cry harder.
Luke pulled Ashton back and cupped his cheeks in his hands, wiping away his tears with his thumbs. He gently pressed his lips to Ashton's, moving together softly. Ashton ignored the salty taste of his tears and kissed him back, loving the feeling of Luke's lips against his.
"I love you too," Ashton whispered truthfully when they pulled away.
"Fuck I'm so happy you said that," Luke sighed out in relief, making Ashton laugh.
"I thought you said it was fine if I didn't say it back?"
"Yeah but I just really hoped you would," he said fondly, hands still cupping Ashton's face as he kissed him again so softly. Ashton had never felt more loved.
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