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MissCris: This is a short one shot based on The Script's song For The First Time. I wrote this years ago, it was one of the first one shots I wrote for wattpad, but it was originally girlxboy so I tweaked it a bit and made it boyxboy. I hope you enjoy!

Song: For The First Time by The Script

~For the First Time~

Shawn sat at the window of his apartment watching the rain fall steadily against the concrete below. For all intents and purposes the "apartment" was more one room enclosure than what you could be called a living space. There was a sink and stove in a corner to the left of the door, a small room to the back with a toilet, sink and shower crammed in was the bathroom and a bed against the farthest empty wall was the bedroom.

There was a an old TV, that he'd bought at a yard sale, on a small table a few feet from the bed and a small writing table near the entrance to the bathroom. There was no living room area so a couch was out of the question but a small table and two chairs sat in the empty space around the stove and sink in the "kitchen".

Ok, so this was not what he had anticipated his life to be when he moved up here from Miami. Not that he didn't like VA, it was a beautiful state with beautiful parks and the Potomac river was incredible at sunset. But there was something missing in his life and he knew exactly what that was. But for the life of him he couldn't figure out how to get what he needed most in this world.

Or rather get it back.

At least not until tonight.

***

The day started normally, well as normal as his life had become. He woke up to a blazing sun and an empty bed. Again. Why couldn't he ever come home anymore? He came and went during the day, when Shawn was out. He knew because the cloths were always ruffled and the supplies in the "bathroom" used. But he never came when he was here. It had been so long since Shawn had seen him, over a week. It broke his heart to know that he was the reason he didn't come by.

He had come to VA to be with the man he loved, neither of them expecting the situation to get so bad. Even here, near the Capitol, the job opportunities were scarce and his love hadn't found a fixed job yet, only little to dos here and there that brought in little money.

They had each found a way to cope with the frustration, at first they had fought with each other constantly. Maybe that was worse than now, at least now he didn't feel like he hated him. Now, he just wanted to be wrapped in the arms of the man that meant the world to him.

Soon after, to stop the fighting, Shawn had taken to leave at random hours and go for walks. He had taken up drinking. Not excessively but enough to numb him to the situation. Now he spent hours at the bar a couple blocks down. The local bar that had become his salvation and hell.

He knew because of the hints he left behind. A lingering smell of Jack from his cloths and the shattered lamp last week that told he was drunk when he came home. It angered him that the man that had captured his heart couldn't beat this addiction to alcohol and come back to him.

As far as he knew from mutual friends he hadn't found work yet and spent many days at the unemployment line. They said he didn't want to see him because he deserved someone better. Someone who could give him the life he needed. But all he wanted and needed was his love. He wished he would come home so he could tell him.

But he never came.

As for Shawn, he was working at a bookstore across town. He made minimum wage and only worked for about twenty hours per week but at least he had enough for food. The rent was another deal; it was a good thing they had had the smart idea to pay for the first six months in advance.

His day went by as usual. The morning and midday spent at the bookstore. And then around 2pm he was on his way home. The thirty minute walk from the store to the apartment was hard because he found himself reflecting on his life and wondering what he could have done differently. It was torture to wonder if his life would have been better had he stayed in Miami, had he not met him.

Every time he walked into the apartment and found it empty was another piece of his heart that chipped away. He felt his breath constrict in his chest as he turned on lights to illuminate the empty room. It might not be what he had expected, but then when is life ever predictable? At least this shabby run down apartment was a place he could call his own, their own.

Or so he thought.

Without any strength left he flopped down on the bed wishing he could just dream his life away.

He slept an uneasy sleep.

When he woke up, the sun was below the horizon and shadows danced on the walls. He just lay there trying to find the strength to move, to make dinner, to find a reason to be. Anything other than curl up in the queen bed that still smelled on him and cry.

A noise caught his attention. The apartment was lite only by the lamp near the door he had turned on but with his back to the room it didn't do much good. As he moved to look at the apartment, strong familiar hands wrapped themselves around him tightly.

Tears welled up in his eyes as the voice he hadn't heard in over a week, and the only sustenance he needed, spoke.

"I'm sorry."

----

Andrew watched as Shawn slept. He loved him so much but knew he deserved better. He also knew he could no longer deny that it was killing him to be away from him.

He had tried to keep away so that he could find someone else, have the life he needed. But he was stubborn, his love was, he had remained faithful even though he did not come in contact with her for over a week. A week that had been torture for him but he knew Shawn needed something better than the life they were living and he hoped not seeing him would make Shawn leave and search for that life.

But he hadn't.

Andrew spent most of his time at JOHNNY'S the bar down the street. But he always made sure to keep an eye on him. He slept at their friend Derek's house and kept up to day with what was going on with Shawn through him.

He had finally found a job, at the bar, no surprise there. It wasn't the best job but at least he didn't spend all day in the unemployment line praying he found work. After a few days of just sitting on a stool and trying to drink his problems away Adam, the bar owner, had asked him if he was interested in a job seeing as he was there most of the night anyway. He jumped on the opportunity. The job was good although he did often leave the place with a strong scent of alcohol, when in reality he didn't drink much. Not since he left Shawn and got his job.

He knew Shawn had found a job too, at the bookstore across town, and he was glad he was living his life. Even if it wasn't with him, even if it broke his heart to know he could move on without him. This is what he wanted for him, but most importantly he wanted Shawn happy.

But he also knew he wasn't happy.

Shawn was never was good at hiding his emotions. He had seen the pain and confusion in his eyes when he realized he had been home and not waited to see him. Their apartment had a giant window and he never bothered to close it except at night. He was always able to see him, his face, and it tore at his heart to cause him pain.

Still, he promised to make things better for him.

For them.

As Andrew watched him, his eyes twitched and slid open. He lay still and the sadness crossed his face again. Andrew wondered whether he was the first thought in Shawn's mind when he woke up. The reason for the pain that sliced across his handsome face and straight to Andrew's heart.

He moved to lie down next to him. The lights playing a game of cat and mouse as he blocked the only light in the biddy apartment. Shawn froze for a second before he turned to see what--or who--had made the noise.

Andrew wrapped his arms around him tightly and spoke those two words that he had wanted to say ever since the first time he had seen the pain in his eyes. The ones he knew would take away the anger and frustration and hopefully the pain.

"I'm sorry." his words fell on Shawn's neck, a caressed apology.

He felt him relax against him and take a deep ragged breath. His shoulders shook slightly and he knew he was crying. Andrew tightened his arms around the man that meant everything to him, the one he would do anything to make happy....Even give up his own happiness and let him go if that's what was needed.

"I'm so sorry" he repeated softly in his ear. "I love you."

"Why did you leave?" Shawn asked, his voice choked.

"I couldn't let you be with me when I had nothing to offer you, not even a job under my belt."

Shawn turned to face him. His hand raised and cupped his cheek. "Would you like some wine?"

He smiled crookedly. "Sure."

Drinking wine was how they ended their first date; that was almost three years ago now. Andrew released Shawn and sat up as he watched the man of his life head to the small area they called a "kitchen" and reach into the lonely cupboard above the stove. He pulled out a cheap bottle of wine and Andrew grinned as he realised it was exactly the same wine they'd had on that special day three years ago.

Silently, Shawn picked up two cups from beside the sink and headed over to him. He smiled shyly at Andrew and handed him the bottle and cups. Taking them, Andrew placed the cups on the ground and opened the bottle. Shawn walked over to the TV and turned it on. After pressing a few buttons he left the TV on a radio station, it was an old electronic that still brought radios embedded as channels.

A familiar song began to play. Andrew paused his action of pouring wine into one of the cups and looked up at Shawn as they listened to the lyrics of The Script's For The First Time. Shawn's big brown eyes bore into his and he felt his broken heart mending. With a small smile Shawn walked over to him and sat next to him on the bed, taking the cup of wine Andrew offered as the song faded and a new one began.

They spent the rest of the night sipping cheap wine and telling each other all they had done while apart. Andrew let him know that he never stopped watching over him. And Shawn told him that he never lost hope he would come back. Cup after cup of wine they relearned each other, they teased and at one point Andrew found himself tickling the man he adored to tears, something he hadn't done since the beginning of their relationship.

They talked and laughed but the undercurrent of sadness was there. Tears threatening to spill.

Around two in the morning Shawn turned to look at Andrew with such intensity that he was unable to look away. Didn't want to look away. Didn't want to ever let Shawn out of his sight, let alone his life, ever again.

"I love you. I know times are hard, and they're making us crazy but I love you. That will never change." Shawn smiled a watery smile, unshed tears in his eyes.

"I love you too. So much. I'm glad you didn't give up on me baby." he leaned down and brushed his lips against his ever so softly. Shawn returned the kiss with all his love his tears spilling.

Tears of happiness and relief.

Andrew lifted his head and brushed the tears from his love's face, gently, cherishing. He leaned down and softly ran his lips over the trails the tears had left, Shawn shuddered and wrapped his arms around Andrew. Lips connected again as they lay down on the bed, hands roaming.

They made love slowly. Cherishing each other's bodies as they had longed to do for the past few days. They explored one another, learning each other's bodies as they had once before.

It was as if they were making love for the first time.

***

As Shawn looked at the view out the window he felt warm hands wrap themselves around him and Andrew place a kiss on his neck. A shiver ran up his spine that had nothing to do with the storm outside. It was now 5am, the rain had started about an hour ago, giving a gentle nature's song to their night.

"Te amo" I love you. Andrew whispered in his ear. "Come back to bed."

Shawn turned and took his hand as they went back to bed. Andrew climbed in behind him and wrapped his arms around him again. He'd missed this. Being cocooned in Andrew's arms was as though being protected from the world. Nothing could hurt him when he was being held by the man who loved him. Soon Shawn heard Andrew's breath even out as he fell asleep.

"Yo tambien te amo, mi amor" he whispered to Andrew as he slept. He had finally gotten back what he was missing and he would never let him go again.

He drifted off to a peaceful sleep, snuggled in the arms of the man who was his best friend, boyfriend, and lover.

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