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Chapter 16 – Chicken or the Egg?

There is that question, about what came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Those that say the chicken believe in god. He created the chicken, which then laid eggs. Then there are those scientists that say the egg. A chicken like creature laid a mutated egg – which was in actuality a chicken egg. There are countless other subcategories to it though, anyone can answer it differently. I always said the chicken came first. That's because C comes before E in the alphabet though.

***

"Why are we at a gym?" Colby complained. She did a number on the Stairmaster. Sweat dripped down her forehead.

"Because we are fat…isn't that what you said Ben?" Gwen panted, out of breath. She wanted to go home and have a large chocolate milkshake.

"No, I never said we were fat, I just said we haven't been exercising. Plus, Seth asked if I wanted to work out with him." Ben explained lifting up his empty water bottle. He tried to take a sip.

"Oh I get it; you were scared to come alone." Colby put her Stairmaster a level lower.

"Well, look at him," Ben followed Colby's lead.

"He is…" Gwen watched Seth bench-press a large weight then slide off into pushups. "He is…vigorous,"

"He is a flippin' energizer bunny. I couldn't work out with him alone. The thing is I could tell he was a work out freak. People with bodies like that don't just wake up like that." Ben explained as he tossed his empty bottle on the ground.

"No, they certainly don't," Gwen added noticing the muscles rippling under Seth's shirt.

"So, you wanted us here to protect you…from crazy exercising Seth." Colby figured out.

"Yes," Ben certified.

"You're pathetic." Gwen whispered under her breath.

"Shush, here he comes," Ben turned up the level of his Stairmaster. "Hey Seth,"

"Hey, you want to spot me? Or vice-versa?" Seth offered.

"Yeah, sure, I am almost done here." Ben acted like he had been on this vigorous level the entire time.

"Cool, then we can go back to my place and." Seth gave a promiscuous grin. "…take a shower together," Seth bit his lip and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Ben smiled and chuckled. His legs ached and he wanted Seth to walk away so he could turn the level of intensity down a notch.

Seth walked away.

"Is he usually that horny?" Gwen pointed out stepping off her machine.

"I think it's something about working out, the testosterone or something, but that's the thing. I am always too tired to do anything afterwards." Ben laughed and turned his Stairmaster off.

"I see, trouble in the bedroom, you know if you don't have the stamina, maybe you do need the exercise." Colby joked stepping off hers.

***

Colby wandered with Barkley next to the river Thames. She leaned on the stone barrier and looked across the river at the parliament building. The sky was clear for once, a few bright stars poked through the light pollution.

Barkley came up behind the brunette and kissed her neck. Colby knew where this was going. She didn't want it to go there. They had an amazing dinner, where the soup was hotter than the conversation. Colby could see it coming, they didn't fit, they were too different and the chemistry wasn't there. She was bored by Barkley and even the sex wasn't that spectacular anymore.

"You know what," Colby shrugged out of his kiss and took a step back.

"What? Oh, playing coy are we?" Barkley chuckled walking up to his girlfriend and trying to kiss her.

"Barkley, stop," Colby retorted, obviously frustrated.

"What's wrong?" Barkley moved some of Colby's hair out of her eyes.

"Nothing, that's what?" Colby tried to explain.

"Nothing is wrong?" Barkley scratched his head, confused.

"No, nothing is what's wrong…I don't feel anything for you Barkley. I'm sorry if this is harsh. But…" Colby couldn't find her words and stuttered.

"I don't understand." Barkley began but Colby interrupted.

"I don't want to drag you along for something that isn't even there." Colby spat out, she wasn't sure how to explain herself. She was just tired of spending time with him and never feeling anything.

"If there is a problem we can work it out." Barkley grasped Colby's shoulders. He wanted to try and salvage what ever was left of this relationship. It never occurred to him that there was a problem until now. The man couldn't understand why Colby would act so happy until this moment.

"No, we can't work it out because I don't want to work it out with you. Barkley, I wish you understood…here let me put it like this. I don't like you." Colby said her voice firm and sincere. "You're a good person; I don't want to hurt you anymore, so I need to let you go. Dating was fun, but…it's time to move on. We both knew this wouldn't last forever, right?" Colby said, in a way, relived that this burden wasn't hanging over her any longer.

"Right," Barkley replied not understanding everything. His mind raced and he couldn't understand why Colby hated him so much now .He didn't comprehend the problem and just how simple it was, they weren't a good match. Instead, Barkley's mind went in a more paranoid direction towards his employee and Colby's roommate, Ben.

***

The following day Ben stood in an empty store. The walls were barren and white sheets along with buckets of paint littered the floor. Colby wore an old pair of jeans and a worn yellow t-shirt. Her hair was pulled back. Gwen had on the same attire and grunted.

"Why am I painting on my day off?" Gwen complained.

"You like to paint," Colby reminded her friend as she wedged open a can.

"Not…walls." Gwen retorted crossing her arms and leaning against a wooden counter, the only thing drilled into the ground.

"See, that wall," Colby pointed to a large one. "You can make whatever type of mural you want. Just, you know nothing, with exposed breasts." Colby threw a limp wrist in Gwen's direction.

"You mean, no erotica…do you even know what I paint?" Gwen squinted, her eyes flashed flames but her mouth stayed shut.

"That's for you to show me…make a statement." Colby said her voice filled with excited sarcasm. He gestured to the wall then returned to her bucket of Eggplant colored paint.

"You two have fun; I need to get to work." Ben chuckled and exited the store. He walked through the morning rush hour and spotted the Underground sign in the distance.

He followed the crowd down under the London streets and passed his Oyster card over the pad. Ben was curious how the pad worked, magnets probably, the turnstile. The man caught the train in time and was rushed to his office building.

Ben knew he arrived when he heard the ding of the elevator and the metal doors rushed open. The secretary waved him down.

"Yes?" Ben asked as she flagged him closer to her desk.

"You have a visitor." She smiled and pointed to a small area with two chairs for people to wait.

Ben twisted his head. His heart leapt into his throat and he felt excitement rise up into his chest. However, when his eyes arrived upon the tiny waiting area he only discovered a woman in black business pants with a matching blazer. A necklace of white gold completed her ensemble. Her hair, pulled back to a tight fitting bun, elongated her face.

"Hello, you must be Mr. Howe," The woman greeted and held out her hand.

"Hello," Ben replied, he was disappointed and confused.

"I came here to speak to you about another job opportunity. Forgive me for not introducing myself, I am Felicia Bowl, cast director and…well it gets complicated, but I work on the teen drama Hillside. I'm sure you have heard of it. "

"Yes, I have Ms. Bowl…but why would Hillside want me?" Ben questioned and raised an eyebrow.

"I search for talent, I see it in you. Plus, you look normal, that's what Hillside is known for…normal people with extraordinary lives." Felicia replied reaching into her purse and pulling out a business card.

"Normal? What about Dell Delany, the guy I interviewed from your show. He is like a supermodel." Ben took the business card. Ben remembered the interview and Dell, in a Speedo.

"Well, we need the one sex-sells character." Felicia replied she turned and headed for the elevator.

"Felicia, what are you doing wandering into these parts?" Barkley came up behind Ben, his eyes concentrated on the women about his age.

"Goodbye, Barkley," Felicia didn't look back and entered the elevator. "Oh, and Ben," She turned around and pressing a button. The commute is a bit shorter. That's a plus." The silver doors shut.

"Shorter? Does she know where I live?" Ben questioned.

"No, she works on the floor below us," Barkley nodded. "I hope you don't consider that offer, if you left, I would be so hurt." Barkley patted his employs back and walked off down the hall.

Ben turned and watched his boss walk away. He was a bit hurt that Barkley didn't think about his feelings. It was like his boss didn't want the best for him. Moreover, he thought about all the opportunity this job had for him. Not only for his career but Dell, Dell knew Peter since they were kids.

***

Lunchtime was popular at the Garden Court Hotel. Their five-star buffet attracted business people from all around to eat. Miniature Sheppard's pies, fish and chips, and gourmet salads covered plates.

Gwen piled two Styrofoam boxes into a plastic bag. The boxes contained Colby and her lunch for the day. She remembered the times when she would have to lie to the chef and say she was pregnant. Gwen laughed to herself and lifted the bag.

"What are you doing here on your day off?" Zad greeted. He walked up to Gwen, surprised by her presence.

"Just grabbing a bite," Gwen stated lifting the bag and proceeding out of the dining area.

"Oh, wonderful, shall I be of assistance; I am on my break you know." Zad hurried to the girl's side. He thought she was beautiful. Even if, she had paint stained clothes. They were a treat for him, to see her in something other than her manager's outfit.

"That's alright, I can handle myself." Gwen exited the hotel. The food was heavy, and it was a long walk.

"Are you sure?" Zad offered, he was persistent.

"Fine, you can carry the food." Gwen handed it to him.

They began the long walk back. The streets weren't as crowded and small back ways were void of people. They could pretend, for a few moments that they were the only ones in the city.

"Did you hear back from that art critic yet? He seemed excited about your paintings." Zad broke the ice with a question.

"No," Gwen revealed. "I haven't heard back from him. I'm not worried about that though."

"What? Yeah, that's good I mean, who cares if one person likes your paintings right?" Zad said. He switched the bag to his other hand.

"Actually, one person can make all the difference. That wasn't what I meant. What I meant was I lost my muse. I can't paint. Colby, my roommate, gave me a whole wall in her store to fill with a mural. I painted it white; I have no idea what I want to put on it. My mind is blank." Gwen drifted off into her explanation she didn't quite realize how much information she gave away.

"You will find your muse, I mean, you're beautiful…and nice…people like you deserve a muse right." Zad kept his deep brown eyes locked on the girl.

Gwen spun around and took the bag from Zad's hand as she walked out onto a busier street. "Thanks for listening,"

"Yeah," Zad replied, eager. "Anytime, anytime you need someone to talk too just call me up okay."

"I will keep that in mind." Gwen smiled and walked down the street with her bag in hand.

***

Gwen left a few hours earlier and Colby wanted to finish setting up some shelves. The scrap booking store came together today. Colby painted the three walls she wanted to, one the purple eggplant color and the others a deep red. Gwen's wall was still white, still blank. Colby's cell rang and she picked it up.

"I will be home soon, oh Ms. Bergman." Colby laughed expecting Ben. She wandered through the store talking to the old woman. "Yes, it is coming along quite nicely. I just want to get it finished. Yes, I appreciate you leaving the cash register. I am still waiting on the deliveries. They should come tomorrow…no I don't have employees."

Colby walked to the cash register and pressed the on button. It wouldn't turn on. She tilted her head and realized it wasn't plugged in. "Well, yes, I hope you have a good evening too. You know it's implied if I don't say it. Fine, have a good evening Ms. Bergman."

The woman hung up her phone and breathed in the smell of fresh paint. A smile danced on her mouth and an "I did it," escaped her lips.

She heard a knock at the front door. Colby was glad she locked it. She didn't want any strange people walking in this late at night. Barkley stood on the other side of the glass, he looked a little drunk. Colby hoped he wasn't drinking because of their break up.

"Barkley," Colby walked to the door her hand dug through her pockets to find her key to open it.

"Colby, why did you leave me?" Barkley sobbed his hand on the glass.

"I just, when I was with you I didn't…" Colby paused. "I didn't feel anything. I was tired of feeling nothing. I felt like I was going numb inside."

Barkley slammed the glass. "Why the hell did you leave me you whore." Barkley shouted in a drunken rage. The glass rattled with the force of his open palm.

Colby dropped her keys frightened. He never scared her like this before. She was only scared for a moment, a brief second of anxiety and nervousness at his outburst. She bent down and picked up her keys.

"Barkley, you need to leave now or I am calling the police." Colby shouted in a firm voice.

The drunken slob understood that much and wandered away.

Colby watched him disappear around the corner and let out a sigh. Her hand shook a bit.

***

The apartment was quiet and a full moon cast shadows on the wall. Colby sat on the couch, it was midnight. She sat in the darkness of the room looking at the shadows. Ben's door opened and he walked out into the bathroom. She listened to him rustle around then the flush of a toilet and than wash his hands at the sink. Ben exited and noticed his friend on the couch.

"You okay?" Ben inquired walking around and sitting on the couch.

"Yes, I just…Barkley came to the store tonight, drunk." Colby whispered.

"Did he hurt you?" Ben's heart skipped a beat as horrible images of his boss flashed through his head.

"No, he just, he banged on the door. I don't think he would have hurt me even if he could. He just scared me, that's all. I never saw that part of him." Colby said her voice low.

"But, he didn't hurt you?" Ben wanted to know for sure. He put his hands on Colby's shoulders.

"Nope, it's not that big of a deal anyway." Colby smiled. "I was just scared, that's all."

"Colby, its okay to be…scared," Ben hugged his friend for a few minutes.

"I needed to get that out, thanks Ben, for listening." Colby added.

They broke and went to bed the situation resolved.

Ben returned to his sheets, the warmth generated before he left had disappeared long before. His head felt heavy on the pillow and his eyelids drooped shut. He knew now what he wanted to do.

***

Ben arrived at work early that day. He went directly to Barkley's office. His boss dropped Advil into a cup and took it. The signs of a hangover were evident.

"I am giving my two weeks resignation notice now." Ben spat out, the first thing.

"Ben, what? No, you can't leave." Barkley tried to argue back. He was too sickly to put in much more than that.

"I can and I will," Ben said

"You are making a mistake, if this is about last night with Colby." Barkley rebutted. "She is lying."

"You know what, I was thinking about that. That is just the tip of the iceberg." He had no respect for his boss any more. There were too many reasons for him to leave and not enough to stay.

"What are you talking about?" Barkley clutched his head in pain.

"You are incompetent, you are annoying, and you are a liar." Ben argued.

"I bet that whore Colby put you up to this." Barkley shouted.

Ben wanted to grab Barkley and push him against the wall. Lay a good punch to his jaw, except, Ben didn't. He knew Barkley could overpower him in a minute even with a hangover.

"No, Colby didn't put me up to this; she just opened my eyes a bit more." Ben said, his voice contained and calm.

"Good luck trying to find a job," Barkley argued. "You are normal, no one would want you. Television isn't for normal people. You should be glad I hired you."

"I might look normal, but my life is extraordinary, well…Felicia thinks that anyway," Ben threw out; indicating he was going to take the exact Job Barkley didn't want him too.

Barkley completely forgot about that incident at the elevator. Ben walked out and didn't look back. He wanted to tell all his co-workers what happened before he left.

The day ended and Ben took the elevator one level lower. He exited and found Felicia's office in a matter of minutes.

Felicia looked up as he entered and a smile consumed her face.

"Is that job still available?" Ben inquired.

"Yes, you're just in time, we can screen test you." Felicia stood up. "I heard you gave Barkley his just desserts."

***

The day drifted slowly to the end. The sun dipped down into the sky causing an early sunset. Orange and yellow bounced around the clouds happy to put on their short show before everything was enveloped in darkness.

Gwen left the Garden Court Hotel. She took only a few steps before she spotted Zad behind her. He followed her like an eager puppy. She thought it was cute. She liked the game and how it was played. He was a cute sweet young boy, if only she met him before Howard.

"Come to walk me home?" Gwen asked leaning forward.

"Yes, actually, how'd you guess?" Zad laughed, it didn't touch his mind that Gwen had him figured out.

"Women's intuition," Gwen said with a bit of a sultry manner in her voice. "But I'm not going home."

"Oh," Zad looked down at his shoes, disappointed.

"You can come though," Gwen lead the way down the street.

They walked talking about different things: work, life, and even love. There conversations drifted into territory Gwen feared to tread for a long time. Eventually they ended up at the scrap booking store, still unopened. Gwen unlocked the front door and went inside. She switched on the lights and looked at the white wall. Colby set up a few tables and she started hanging her own works in the window.

Zad looked up at the blank wall. "I never really liked art. Museums were the most boring thing in the world for me."

Gwen didn't reply.

"But, your paintings…I don't know." Zad paused trying to pick the perfect words out from his head. "They were amazing, they are…so beautiful. I can see them, I can see the art." Zad put his hand on Gwen's shoulder. "You hide yourself all the time, but with your paintings I can could who you were…who you still are."

Gwen turned to Zad her eyes wanted him to stop. She didn't want to hear this, because it meant, if she was the paintings and she couldn't paint, she lost herself. Zad walked up to her standing only a few inches above her. He lowered his head and kissed his manager softly. It was a sensual kiss, lasting only a few seconds.

They broke and Gwen looked up at her co-worker.

"I know what I want to paint now." Gwen said. She hurried to the paint cans and took a brush.

Zad watched her start out with dark purples and blues. As she worked across the wall the colors shifted into lighter versions. The purple became mauve then a cotton candy pink. The blue became robin's egg then a lime green. Gwen painted pens, buttons, ribbons, and doves all across the wall. She finished by writing a single sentence across the wall. "Find your muse…then set it free to fly as high as it can." The words followed a dove which could have leapt off the wall.

"It's beautiful," Zad stated, the sun coming up and peeking through the windows.

"I know," Gwen stood back to admire her work. She sat down next to Zad on the ground and held his hand. "We can't be together," She came right out and said. "It would never work, I'm your boss."

"Yeah, I know, you can't blame a guy for trying." Zad replied, not as hurt as he thought he would have been. He knew the answer when he chased after her. He wanted Gwen to look at him, and she did. He got his wish.

"No, you certainly can't," Gwen let out a sigh and continued to view her work.

***

Colby and Ben sat down on a bench inside their gym. They each let out an exhausted sigh. Colby's phone vibrated and she lifted it up. She received a text from Gwen.

"Oh, she finished the mural." Colby grinned and stood up. "Let's go check it out."

"Yeah, in a bit though, I need to wait for Seth." Ben stood up with his friend.

"Okay, see you later then," Colby grabbed her duffle bag and left.

Seth came up to Ben and grinned at him. "Good workout,"

"Yes, amazing," Ben smiled back, he did a low level Stairmaster and burned a few calories. "Not as good as you though," He gestured towards the bench press.

"Yeah, well, we can't all be great," Seth joked and sat down on the bench. "Oh gosh, Seth sighed. "I need to vent, Kylie is just…she see's her therapist and comes home and is lethargic. I don't know how to help her. I don't know what to say or how to talk to her when she is like this. She is my best friend, I want to help and I don't know how."

Ben noticed the sudden shift in conversation. The man took a seat next to his boyfriend, he hadn't thought about how Gwen coped with the Howard break up. It was probably more traumatic for Kylie though, since she was left at the altar. He realized that Seth was asking him advice and he had no idea how to respond. Ben gave it thought then replied.

"You know, just listen. That's all people need to know sometimes, that other people care enough to listen." Ben replied.

"That sounds good; thanks…I needed to talk to someone about that. Oh hey Nathan," Seth waved as a black haired guy approached the two.

Ben looked at the face with some stubble on it and tilted his head. The British black haired guy wore a white t and had a small handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

"This is my friend from work, Nathan. Nathan, this is boyfriend, Ben." Seth introduced the two.

"Oh, Ben and I have already met." Nathan smirked.

Ben had no idea who this guy was.

***

We ask ourselves the little questions to try and comprehend the big ones. Why can't this work out? Will I ever truly succeed? What can inspire me? Where am I going? Are you my friend? Where is it hiding? Do I love you? What do I want? What is love? What is life? Can I move? Who are you? How we answer these questions define us as people. The questions in our lives put the chicken and the egg to shame.

***

AUTHORS ANALYSIS

Okay some themes for this chapter. Listening is one of the obvious ones, several times, three obvious ones people just needed others to listen to them. It's important. Okay and second is letting free. It was in Gwen's quote but it's about letting people go. Colby let Barkley go, Gwen let Zad go and Ben is get getting tangled up in something new.

Some of you maybe have noticed that these newer chapters shifted focus to Colby and Gwen a little bit more. I want to develop them as characters a bit before I end the story.

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