Chapter 1: I

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I guess I always knew I was gay. It wasn't until my best friend of ten years, Maximilian Jones's, girlfriend broke up with him that I really realized it. I remember it was a just another day in Las Vegas when Max came to my door. The thing about Max is he is more sensitive then he let's on. When I opened the door he was smiling but when I let him in and closed the door he burst into tears. "Wynter I just don't understand why she did it." Said Max as he sobbed.

I had known Max since I had moved here in first grade. His ex girlfriend, Macy, was not the nicest of people. She was beautiful, but she cheated on Max more than once. Max was too forgiving and she finally broke up with him. Max did love her a lot though, I knew he did.

I opened my arms to him and he pulled me into a hug and cried. I always knew she was going to break up with him, I didn't have the heart to tell Max though. After he calmed down he then left go of me leaving me slightly damp with his tears. "I'm sorry." He said.

"Why are you telling me sorry." I said. He tried to force a laugh but then just walked over to the couch and sat down to cry again. There was only one time I had seen him like this and it was when his older brother got in a car crash and died. "Do you want some coffee?" I asked him. I wanted to walk over and hug him and just comfort him, but comforting people was never my strong suit.

"I'd rather have some alchol." He said looking at me. There was also a shining in his eyes but now they were tear filled. His eyes were beautiful, a perfect shade of bright blue. My plain brown ones were nothing compared to his.

"I think we have vodka." I said looking at him. He nodded and I walked into the kitchen looking around. My mom worked at a bar right off the Vegas strip as a waitress so our house usually had alcohol in it. I found a half empty bottle of cherry vodka and walked back in the kitchen handing it to Max.

"Do you want some Wynter?" He asked me, I shook my head and watched as he drank nearly the whole thing I gave him in under a minute.

"I'm sorry." I said sitting down next to him. He still had tears in his eyes as he looked at me. "I really am." I really was, I wanted to hug him but I wasn't sure if I should.

"Thank you." He said softly. "Just for everything, thank you a lot." He said. He reached up and wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

"You're welcome." I said softly settling into the couch next to him. He sighed and closed his eyes. I watched the tears flow down his cheeks as he blinked to get them out. He finished the vodka and then leaned back.

"I thought we just had something... I don't know, different." He said as he shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

"Did you talk to Isabel?" I asked him. He shook his head. "She's good at these sorts of things." I said.

"We aren't as good as friends as you and her." He said, his voice was flat. Max was never a fan of Isabel and I think he was mad when her and I became such close friends.

"You're my best friend Maximilian." I said.

"I know." He said. He reached for the remote and turned on the TV. The news was one so we watched that. Max soon fell asleep next to me, his head resting on my shoulder. It was then I realized that I enjoyed being this close to him, I liked having him near. I wondered what he thought of me, I actually wondered that a lot. I wasn't sure I could figure out the answer.

I had never noticed girls as a child but I didn't really notice boys until I was fifteen. I remembered when Max asked Macy out and then I felt jealous, but I thought it was weird to be jealous because I didn't have a crush on Macy. I then realized about a year ago that I had a crush on Max, but didn't know what to do about it so I forced that thought out of my mind because Max was my best friend.

It was that night that Macy broke up with him that I realized I did still have a crush on him. Once he had fallen asleep I couldn't help but stare at him. I then dried his tear stained cheeks, careful not to wake him up. The dimly lit TV was talking about starving kids in the Middle East, or somewhere, but I just kept looking at Max. I felt bad for him, I hated to see him like this.

It all got worse. The day after we were standing in the hall before our Science class and Macy was making out with the captain of the football team. The look on Max's face was enough to break my heart. "I'm sorry." I said to him. He was still hungover from last night, even though I always warned him never to drink alcohol as fast as he did.

"I just have a headache, I'm fine." He said, he smiled at me. It was this really fake smile though. I could see right through him.

After school Isabel and I were standing outside by the vending machines. "Do you want to hang out after school?" She asked me as she bought a Dr. Pepper from the machine. Isabel was half Spanish and had a good year round tan, as she liked to say. Her dad was from Spain and he only spoke Spanish, she spoke Spanish too.

"I think I might hang out with Max." I said although I hadn't hung out with Isabel in awhile. "Macy broke up with him and he's taking it really hard."

"He finally dumped that cheating bitch." She said turning around and smiling at me. "I always knew she was trouble."

"Didn't we all." I said. Max texted me and told me he couldn't hang out. Isabel and I started walking to her house. "It's been awhile since we've hung out." I said.

"Yeah." She laughed. "Let's have popcorn, it's kinda like a tradition to have popcorn and talk about our lives, we've just never said it out loud."

We always did that but we never talked about it, it just happened. "We should think of a name for it."

"Let's call it..." She thought for a moment. "I don't know, I can't think of anything cool." She said as we got to her house. We walked inside and she went to pop some popcorn. Isabel's brother was sitting at the table doing his homework. She grabbed the bag of popcorn and then walked downstairs to her room. "So tell me about your life." She aid laughing as she sat on her bed. I sad on the floor.

"I have a crush." I stated. I was sure I could trust Isabel. Everything I told her would be kept secret.

"Oh, a crush hmm?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows at me. "On whom? May I ask."

"I have a crush on Max." I said. It felt weird to say it out loud but I had been thinking about it for awhile now. I had to get it off my chest somehow. "Since I was about fifteen."

"Are you gay?" She asked me, not in a mean way. "Because if you are I'm mad that you never told me." She said laughing.

"I don't know what I am, all I know is I have a crush on Maximilian Jones." I said. "But I don't know what to do about it."

"I'm sure you can win him over. You're short, cute, have a adorable glasses, have nice light brown hair, ohhh and your dimples! Can't forget about those. I could see you guys being a couple." She said. Once Isabel got thinking you couldn't get her to stop. "And his blonde hair is great. I can see why you like him." She said continuing.

"Yeah except I don't want to ruin our friendship." I said. "And I doubt he'll like me back."

"Stranger things have happened before Wynter." She said eating some popcorn. "Didn't you tell me your mom named you Wynter to prove that boys could be named after a season?" She asked, I nodded and then she smiled. "Your name is ironic because it's Wynter like winter but it never snows in Las Vegas." She laughed. I laughed too because that's what you were supposed to do in these situations.

"I wish it would snow." I said smiling. "It'd be really nice." I looked at Isabel who smiled back. She ate a handful of popcorn and then nodded in agreement.

"I'd like it too." She said as she handed me the bag of popcorn. "I started going out with Brad." She said. Brad was a guy who was a class clown. "I was studying with him the other day and then he just kissed me. Out of the blue, it was funny actually."

"I'm happy for you." I said smiling as I ate some popcorn. Isabel talked a lot. She talked about Brad and concerts. Isabel went to a lot of concerts. I loved her stories, they always seemed so vivid and real. I think she just was a great story teller.

By the time I left it was dark outside and I had to walk home. I walked two blocks in the dark feeling nervous. To keep that off my mind I thought about Max instead. I hadn't heard from Max all day since school and that worried me, he always texted me at least once. He probably just forgot or fell asleep or something.

When I got home my mom was talking on the phone, probably to her friend. My mom was pretty and didn't look older than about thirty. She often worked long hours at the bar but sometimes I didn't see her for days.

I walked upstairs to my room and shut the door setting my bag down on the ground. I laid down on my bed and took off my glasses and then called Max. It rang seven times and then went to voicemail. I called him again and there was still no answer. I turned on my side and then texted him.

I was worried about him. I wondered if something was seriously wrong. When Max's older brother died the same thing happened, I figured it was just how he coped with things. Max had never been a happy person as long as I have known him. He was just sad. When he got really sad that was when I was really worried. I sighed as I closed my eyes, all that talking with Isabel got me really tired.

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