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‘Get away from me…please.’

 

 

I told him as my body broke down into a crying mess as the shock just made me physically and mentally exhausted all of a sudden.

 

 

It was just undeniably painful that it made all of me weak.

 

 

Hands tried to hold me but my shaky hands fought them away even if the feeling of someone holding you tight is a craving I’d pay to feel that instant.

 

 

But not with a liar…not with a traitor…not with him

 

 

‘Please, don’t touch me. Please don’t.’

 

 

I tried warning him amid the sobs and the tears I let out.

 

 

But he didn’t let go.

 

 

I struggled harder, fighting his hands away from my body.

 

 

But as the man he was, his strength took over easily.

 

 

In seconds, I was under his arms in a tight embrace, sobbing and crying my face off.

 

 

But even with the confession he made, the feeling was enough to calm me down a bit.

 

 

I was actually finding myself not letting go and loving the warmth of his closeness as if he’ innocent, as if he didn’t hurt me, when in fact he just destroyed me.

 

 

Ironic as it may be, I still needed it.

 

 

‘I’m sorry. So sorry. Forgive me, Niall.’

 

 

All the while his apologies surfaced amid my shouting and screaming of him getting away from me.

 

 

I guess I was just too weak to fight further…I was fighting for a very long time…and sometimes giving in is necessary for you to stand up again.

 

 

Suddenly I found myself calming down as our little brawl seized when he started rocking me side by side in his hold like I was baby being put to sleep.

 

 

Sniffing back another sob, I let the situation die down and let his act of comfort take place.

 

 

‘Life really is unfair, right Zayn?’

 

 

I asked still in his tight embrace.

 

 

‘Niall, please.’

 

 

‘Isn’t it true? It is unfair. Everything is. You just proved that right now.’

 

 

‘I’m sorry.’

 

 

He said for the billionth time.

 

 

‘Well. It’s not like we can take back what happened, right? It’s done already, what’s to feel sorry for?’

 

 

‘Niall. Stop. Please.’

 

 

‘I’m actually impressed you came for me to check how pathetic I am. I’m really surprised you even took the time and effort to stay with—‘

 

 

‘It’s because I think I’m in love with you too.’

 

 

His quivering voice whispered abruptly into my ears and I froze like a stone.

 

 

‘I came because Harry refused to take any responsibility. And I thought that it was just too cruel. So I took the courage to visit you and check what’s your condition is. And after my first visit, after meeting a genuine guy like you, running away from it all seemed impossible. I couldn’t turn my back, I really don’t know why since I always do that in the past after I screw things up. But as I spent my days with you, I gained a sense of clarity in my life that no one ever gave me except you, the guy who I put into great pain. And believe me, I fell in love with you even before I found out you fell in love with me. And that’s why I couldn’t let you know why I was hanging out with you…it’s because I’m too afraid I would lose the one I love if I did. And I don’t want that, heaven knows I don’t.’

 

 

The sincerity of his voice was so evident but I wouldn’t fall for that again…the last time I did, I got hurt pretty bad.

 

 

‘You’re just saying things like that to make me forgive you. You really don’t mean it. You fucking liar!’

 

 

‘No, Niall. I’m being honest. I wanted you to know this for a very long time now but I just can’t find the balls to do it.’

 

 

‘Still you’re a fucking liar, Zayn!’

 

 

‘I know it hurts right now—‘

 

 

‘Fuck yeah it hurts!’

 

 

I bursted out as I took the opportunity to get away from his hold.

 

 

I stood up, turned around and faced where my senses could tell his presence was.

 

 

‘Have you any idea how much it hurts to know I love someone who fucked up my life forever?! Do you know how that feels? It’s like being blind all over again and the agony is an unlimited freebie that keeps on being thrown at you! And you can’t do anything about it but to just sit back and take it.’

 

 

‘This is hard for me too. Do you actually think I’m enjoying it? Do you think seeing someone I love suffer easy? Do you think i like seeing you like this?’

 

 

‘Then you shouldn’t have come for me in the first place.’

 

 

‘If I did that I wouldn’t have met the guy I’ll be crazily in love with.’

 

 

‘Oh fuck that! Stop saying that! You really don’t mean it! You really don’t!’

 

 

As I was sure he’d oppose my every statement, my feet sprinted away wanting to get away from his bullshit.

 

 

His shouts and yells followed as I dashed towards nowhere.

 

 

I can hear his feet running towards me in the sand hoping for me to stop.

 

 

But I won’t stop from running away, even if this leads me to the edge of a cliff, I’ll keep on running.

 

 

My life is fucked up anyway.

 

 

I’m blind, the boy I loved lied, I’ve no loving parents, I’m a pain-in-the-ass of a brother…what’s there to live for?

 

 

Suddenly a freezing wave of sea water welcomed my feet …and I moved further towards the sea.

 

 

‘Niall no! Stop! Niall!’

 

 

Zayn’s calls were very close now and very distinctive, so I kept moving further towards the freezing water not wanting any part of his presence near me ever again.

 

 

Life had been pretty bad on me.

 

 

And if I end it, I would want to die in this place.

 

 

In the place where I had my last moments of feeling so alive while I was within the loving wings of my parents.

 

 

‘Niall! Please! Stop!’

 

 

I can feel the water reaching up to my nose and my feet can’t even feel the sandy ground anymore.

 

 

I stepped further and my head submerged into the deep and water entered my lungs as the waves took me deeper and further into the sea.

 

 

I’m drowning.

 

 

And I didn’t care.

 

 

Not anymore.

++++

Drop a vote if you dont want me to kill Niall! *evil laugh* I LOVE YOU GUYS! hehe

 

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