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"Does mom and dad know?" Serena asks as Ben lays in her bed

Shaking his head, "how am I supposed to tell them without telling them why we broke up?"

"True" Serena looks at her sad brother, "I am sorry about this though I know how much you cared about him."

Frowning as he thinks about Mackie, Ben's eyes fill with tears "this sucks" he covers his face as he cries, "I loved him so much that I pretended everything was ok." Climbing the bed Serena pulls Ben and he lays his head on her lap. "What does that say about me?"

"Love makes you do dumb things, little brother," she strokes his hair "it'll be ok."

"He was so good to me though" he sobs, "and he was an amazing kisser like I've literally never seen him use chapstick but his lips were so soft." Serena tries to muffle her laugh but Ben hears "it's not funny!"

"You're right I'm sorry" as she's trying to make her brother feel better, Serena's phone rings. Picking it up she reads the screen "it's mom" she says before answering, "hey mom... yeah he's here" she hands him the phone "mom wants to talk to you."

"Hey" he takes it clearing his throat so she can't tell he's been crying,

"Hey sweetie, I'm heading home want me to pick you up?"

"Actually do you mind if I spend the night at Serena's?"

"Sure make sure you do your homework and your sister feeds you dinner,"

"Ok thanks, see you tomorrow."

"Bye honey love you"

"Love you too" they hang up.

Ben thought about the fact that Mackie wasn't coming back to school, he won't be distracted every second of the day by the fact that the only boy he's truly ever loved betrayed him. Hurt by it all Ben hopes eventually he'll get over Mackie, with no other ties to the school Ben will probably never have to hear that name again.

"Mackie's here," Brooke walks up to Ali and Ben as they're talking

"What where?" He looks around

"Outside, he's just standing by his bike won't come in or anything."

"Can I go curse him out now?" Ali asks looking at Ben

"I want to say yes but no you can't. Jeremy confirmed that he left for good, so why the hell is he back?" Ben thinks

"You should go ask him" Ali suggests

"Bad idea" Brooke comments

"Yeah, I'm not doing that."

"Why the hell not? If he's just standing there like a creep obviously it's for attention, go tell him we don't want him here or I will!" She pushes him

Sighing "ok," Ben walks away from his friends heading for the exit, walking until he sees Mackie standing next to his bike, Ben stops wondering if he's doing the right thing. Maybe this'll be the last time they ever get to say anything to each other he thinks, so agreeing with himself he continues walking.

As he's looking around waiting for his dad to show Mackie turns and sees Ben coming towards him. Standing tall to not look unbothered, he waits for the boy to approach him, and when Ben finally does they stand with some distance between them. "Hey" Mackie slightly waves

"Do you really not go here anymore?" Ben searches for confirmation

Nodding, "just came to finalize it."

"Are you transferring somewhere else?" Mackie shakes his head "so you're dropping out?" Mackie doesn't answer "you don't have to do that, leave I mean."

"I know"

"Is it because of me? Because we can go to the same school even if we're not together, Jeremy and I do it."

"Yeah and you do it so well," he replies sarcastically causing Ben to break their already minimal eye contact. It's really hard for them to look at each other and not realize what they're losing, "it's not because of you... mostly" Mackie lies.

As they're standing there Mackie's dad's car pulls up next to his bike, "hey sorry I'm late" he gets out of the car.

"It's cool,"

"Ready to do this? I have to head back to the range soon"

"Yeah um the dean's expecting us so you can head in, I'll be there in a sec."

"Ok" he walks towards the school.

"You're talking to your dad again?" Ben asks curiously

"Nothing serious he just offered to take care of this with me," the bell goes off as Mackie is talking and Ben takes it as his cue.

"Good, I'm glad for you"

"Thanks." They stand there no one saying anything else, Ben is having a hard time keeping eye contact so he fixates on the helmet in Mackie's hand, and Mackie can't stop staring at the boy's face.

"I should..." Ben points towards the school,

"Yeah you don't want to be late," with no goodbye Ben turns and Mackie feels his chance slipping. Taking the moment as his last chance Mackie calls him, "Ben?" And Ben turns around "if it means anything I hope you know how sorry I am, and even though I never got to say it to you I was falling for you pretty fucking hard" he cracks a smile. "I have a lot to work on so thanks for making me see that, but I hope you find someone worthy of you because you are not hard to get Benjamin Quinn, you are hard to earn."

Rendering Ben speechless Mackie walks away heading towards the school leaving the boy there frozen. even when he feels like he hates Mackie, Ben can't help but love him. How good he is at making Ben feel special, and the way he's so proud to call Ben Benjamin Quinn, making Ben love hearing a middle name he's hated his entire life. The tears start to build up again as he thinks about how no one else is going to be able to do that for him, at this moment Ben realized what he's losing.

It took Ben weeks but he's finally ready to delete Mackie from his contacts, no more staring at his name and the picture he took of Mackie off guard with a wide smile. Ben was ready to be rid of it all.

On the other side of town, Mackie was home getting drunk with his friends with no worries, not having Ben as a positive influence Mackie got to be himself again. Drinking beer with his buddies and not caring about much, "so if I bring her coke you think she'll sleep with me?" JP asks as they're on Mackie's couch talking about his roommate Maeve

"Fuck no you nasty bastard stay away from her!"

"You calling dibs?" JP asks

"Gotta respect the dibs man," Sammy adds

"Yeah, I'm calling dibs so you stay the fuck away from her" Mackie didn't really want to call dibs on Maeve, but he knows if he didn't JP would never leave her alone.

"How'd y'all meet again?"

"Doesn't matter, are you done rolling that?"

"Oh shit wait Mack you're actually getting in on this?" JP asks surprised and Mackie nods "oh I thought that shit killed brain cells, and you needed to stay sharp and focused or whatever."

"Fuck I need to say focused for anymore?" Not worried about having to go to school every morning or Ben, Mackie does whatever he wants now.

Waiting for classes to start with his friends Ben sits on the table as they're talking, "can we talk about what Alisa is wearing today, I mean what is that dress?" Ali chuckles "poor girl looks jacked up" the girls stare at Alisa but Ben's mind is always somewhere else.

Lost in thought Ben doesn't see Jeremy walking towards him, tapping Ali as she's judging Alisa, Brooke gets her attention to Jeremy. They watch as the boy stops in front of Ben "good morning" he smiles at Ben,

"Hi" Ben snaps out of it focusing on Jeremy

"How are you?" He asks Ben

"I'm fine, you?"

"I'm good," he answers

"Yeah, we're great too thanks for asking, Jer" Ali chimes in feeling left out.

Handing Ben the cup he's holding, "chai latte, two shots of espresso, almond milk, and extra whipped cream. Your favorite" he smiles

Taking the cup, "thank you."

"Anytime."

After Jeremy walks away Ben's friends turn to him, "what in the fuck was that?"

"Nothing" the stare at him, "really it's nothing we talked and he just said that he regretted everything and wants us to be friends."

"That's not nothing dumbass!"

"What'd you say?" Brooke asks

"I told him he has a lot of work to do before we can call each other friends, but I could use some right now so sure."

"Ouch," Brooke reacts

"So just fuck us then?" and Ali asks

"No guys calm down I didn't mean it that way, I just feel like he understands all the shit that happened with you know who. I didn't tell you guys this but during the fight at the party, one of those guys was about to attack me and Jeremy basically fought him off. I owe him" Ben looks over at Jeremy who's talking to his friends, looking over Jeremy sees him looking and he smiles.

Even though he told Ben he was looking to change, Mackie didn't really have a reason to anymore. Driving to Harley's place he parks taking off his helmet and staring at the door. Mackie knows what he's about to do will feel like a step back, but he's convincing himself he doesn't care. Getting off his bike Mackie walks up to the door knocking, he hears people talking and laughing over loud music, he never expects less from his brother, Harley's shared apartment is always full.

"Mack!!" Harley opens the door yelling "fuck are you knocking for? Get in here!" He yanks his brother into the people filled room surrounded by different kinds of drugs and alcohol, "Y'ALL LOOK WHO'S BACK!"

"AYYY" Harley's roommate gets off the couch coming to Mackie and hugging him, "welcome back kid."

"Thanks" Mackie doesn't hug back and just waits for him to get off.

"So what's up Bro? You joining the party?" Harley asks

"No, I need to talk to you"

"All right what's up?"

"In private"

"Shit sounds serious all right. Hey, my brother needs to talk to me so be right back don't finish the weed" walking to a different room, "what's up?"

"I need to make some extra cash, with rent and shit I'm running out of money and mom pays minimum wage."

"You mean you want to ride again? For real?" Harley gets excited as Mackie nods "oh fuck yeah! We're back baby!"

"Harley-"

"Nah we need to celebrate" he rushes out going back to everyone else, "Hey shut up real quick!" He gets everyone's attention to him as he grabs a bottle of tequila off the table. "As of this fucking second-" he grabs Mackie wrapping his arm around Mackie's shoulders, "the Denver boys are back!" He holds his bottle up "cheers to you my brother," Harley looks at his brother happy, and Mackie can't help but feel the weight of the mistake he's about to make.

"TO MACKIE!" Everyone in the room screams holding their drinks then they chug.

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