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Once again I was finding myself sneaking out of the orphanage again, only this time I wore warmer clothes to keep from getting sick. I made my way down the stairs, stopping in my tracks when I heard someone in the kitchen. I stood frozen on the stairs, hearing someone ruffle things in there before the light went out. Immediately Miss McDougall came out drinking from a glass, heading straight towards the stairs. My heart began to pound in my chest and I thought about heading back up them but it would be too late. I felt a hand cover my mouth and an arm wrap around my waist and I was being dragged backwards, into the corner and shadows where Miss McDougall couldn't see us. At this point I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest as she stopped and glanced directly at me, but she couldn't see me. With a shrug she walked off towards what I guessed was her room. Once I heard the door click shut, I struggled against the person who grabbed me until they let go.

"What the hell?!" I snapped quietly. Austin stepped out of the shadows with a small smile. "Why did you grab me like that?!" I demanded a little too loudly.

"Shh, I'm sorry. I saw you leaving your room and I got a little curious but then I saw Miss McDougall..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. "Where are you going?"

I bit my lip and considered telling him, but then again I didn't know if I should. "I'm going for a walk," I said. It wasn't necessarily a lie, I was going on a walk...to the diner.

"Well then, I'm coming with you." He said, I shook my head quickly, but Austin was already up the stairs, walking down the hallway to his room.

"You're not going with me." I whispered loudly.

"You can't stop me," and he was right, I couldn't stop him, and deep down I didn't want to stop him. A big part of me wanted him to come with me, but there was this other half that felt that if he came with me, I'd probably regret it.

Before I could get in another word, Austin walked into his room and closed the door in my face. I sighed and rolled my eyes, going back down the hallway to leave. Austin came out of his room quickly and caught up with me, dressed in a hoodie and skinny jeans. I rolled my eyes again and walked away from him, quietly heading out the door. Of course Austin followed along with me, closing the door behind him silently. It was freezing out here, even more than the other few nights that I've been out and about.

"So, where are we going?" Austin asked after a few minutes of silence. I glanced at him, seeing his hands stuffed in the pocket of his hoodie as he shivered slightly.

"You're not going with me." I told him, Austin chuckled.

"You can keep saying that Al, but I'm going to end up following you and making sure you're safe and-"

"I don't need you to keep me safe, okay?" I snapped at him. "If I can handle my dad for as long as my mom's been gone, I can basically handle anything."

"Do you not want people to care about you?" He demanded. "Or do you just not want me to care about you?"

"I never said that," I muttered softly.

"You don't even have to say anything! Look, I know you've lived with a man that has forced you into this little shell that pushes everyone away when the slightest sight of concern or friendliness is shown, but you can't live like this for the rest of your life," he snapped, "whether you like it or not, I'm coming with you. You can push me as far away as you please, but the more you do it, the more I want to help you."

"I don't want your pity." I said, glaring at him.

"I'm not even pitying you Alan! I care about you and I like you a lot, but you're making this so difficult. I actually want to be that person you have to come to when things get rough, I want to be that person who's gonna listen to you and be there for you, but you just...you push me away and...and I just want to be there for you Alan."

If he didn't know how to make people bad before, he certainly could now. I felt my stomach churn with guilt and happiness. He admitted he liked me and that he wanted to help me even though there was clearly nothing wrong, but he seemed so set on making me feel better.

I didn't say anything as we continued to walk, I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him along cross the street where the diner was. Just like always the bell above the door rang as I walked in with Austin following close behind me. Mark popped his head from around the corner and smiled at me.

"I see you've brought along a friend this time kid," he said, I grinned and nodded. "Alright, well both hot chocolates should be out soon." He added, I nodded again and pulled Austin with me to the booth that I've come accustomed to sitting at. He sat down across from me, running fingers through his hair and looking around.

"How'd you find this place?" He asked.

"I was walking one night, I got cold and this was the only place that was open. Mark's a really friendly guy, he's got a son that around our age and this business was passed down from his grandfather to him." I may have added more than what he had asked, but I felt like he should now.

Austin nodded just as Mark came out with two Styrofoam cups full of the steaming deliciousness. I pulled out two dollars from my pocket and paid for them both. Austin looked like he was about to say something about it but Mark had already walked off and I shook my head.

"I could have-"

"So how long have you've been tall?" I cut him off with something random, grinning as he rolled his eyes and chuckled softly.

"How many times do you come here?" He asked, I gave a shrug.

"Every night really," I said, Austin looked confused.

"You come here every night and drunk hot chocolate?" He asked, I shook my head and shrugged.

"I can't sleep at night, this place is calming and...I don't know, I like being up at night." I explained, Austin nodded slowly.

"Remember I told you that I want to be there for you, so if something's bothering you...you can talk to me." He said.

"You sound like a therapist." I muttered, rolling my eyes. Austin laughed and shrugged.

"I care about you remember, I like you a lot and I want to be there. It sucks seeing you upset and knowing that I can't do anything about it." He said, I felt my cheeks warm.

"You um, helped after my mom was here. I-I uh, locked myself in the bathroom, cried and you crawled through the window." I said, it felt embarrassing to say, but I wasn't even embarrassed.

Austin grinned at me and shrugged. "I kind of didn't mean for that to happen..." he trailed off and I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I frowned slightly. I didn't understand why I was so hurt over that but I was and I didn't like it.

"Oh, well um," I bit my lip and looked down at the table. I haven't felt this terrible in a very long time. "I think we should get back." I said and stood up, Austin looked at me confused but I didn't look back at him, I walked towards the door, telling Mark good night and left out. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but what Austin said, it hurt and I felt stupid for letting it get to my head.

"Alan, what's the rush?" Speaking of the stupid brunette that for some reason I can't stop thinking about and won't leave me alone no matter where I go. I stopped walking and turned to him, feeling my eyes burn. God, I didn't want to cry over this!

"Did you mean what you said? That you didn't mean to kiss me?" I wanted to know, I wanted to go ahead and just get the stupid feelings out there.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," he said.

"You seemed pretty set on what you meant." I muttered, Austin shook his head and stepped closer.

"I really didn't mean for that to happen, but I don't regret it and I liked it," he said softly. I didn't say anything as I stared down at the ground. This was one of the many things that I hated that I became. I felt so stupid now.

"Why do you that?" I asked, my bottom lip quivering. "Y-You say these things a-and they make me feel better and I just- I-I hate how you're always so h-happy and how I-I'm always so sad or a-angry! I want t-to be better a-and feel better about myself, but I can't!"

"Then let me make you feel better," Austin said softly. I didn't wait for him to react, I stepped closer, stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. I felt even better when he kissed me back, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer. My arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down closer and the next thing I knew I was pushed up against a wall, moaning softly before pulling away, breathing heavily.

"W-We should definitely get b-back now," I said, desperately trying to get air. Austin nodded quickly and pulled away from me, making me crave his warmth back.

Once we reached the orphanage building, Austin was the first to enter, carefully opening the door and stepping inside with me following. After the door was shut, we both crept upstairs without being noticed by whoever was in the kitchen. I kept walking on to my room but Austin had other ideas. He grabbed my wrist and stopped me before turning me around, smiling and leaning down, gently kissing my lips. I grinned and kissed him back before pulling away.

"Goodnight," I whispered.

"I'll see you in the morning." He whispered, I nodded and kissed him one last time before pulling away completely and going into my room. Just like always Jaime was snoring his head off and Kellin looked like he could fall off the bed at any minute. I grinned and changed my clothes before crawling into bed. It was only two in the morning and I didn't feel tired, I just laid there, grinning and staring at my wall until I eventually fell asleep.

。。。

Happy late (sort of) New Year c:

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